I’ve hurt someone that loves me. But I’m tired. I’m exhausted. This never ending cycle of working and helping out is driving me insane. I barely have time for myself, or to enjoy things that most people enjoy. I’m tired of driving my siblings to school, or to their activities. I’m tired of washing tons of laundry. I’m tired of doing work that I shouldn’t. I want to explore, to be free. But at the same time, I feel guilty. I am the only help that my mother has. It’s this constant battle within me. I said some hurtful words, I’ve measured my contributions at home and how I felt like she’s not doing what “she’s supposed” to do. I’ve hurt her and I haven’t apologized. Apologizing is very hard for me, especially if I don’t feel convicted to do so. I am upset. I am upset at myself and my own selfishness.
