Okay after much consideration (read: none, it came to me in a coffee fueled vision) I have landed on a scenario for your writing requests:
Karl reacts to a soldat (or Sturm) deciding the reader is its mom/forming an attachment to reader. Bargain bin magneto, his beloved wife, and their terrible cyborg son. Think about it.
Can be a headcanon or a drabble, whatever you prefer!
Oh I love this prompt so much. Sturm is best boy and writing this was a blast!
...This actually became way longer than I expected. Presenting:
Lady Heisenberg Misadventures - "The Oncoming Sturm"
Heisenberg Factory ⚙️ Date Unknown
Lord Karl Heisenberg's voice bellows from deep within the iron chambers of his domain.
"Lady Heisenberg!"
You look up from the backlog of socks to be darned -and darned if you'll ever get to finish this- and pop your head out of the room. "What?"
"Come! Here!" The gold, steel and diamond band around your ring finger tugs.
With a sigh, you follow Heisenberg's echoing voice. This man and his drama. And you've begged him to use the intercom rather than just shout for you.
You find him in a workshop for Soldaten, arms crossed, cigar smoldering over a frown, staring at...
"Is there something wrong with Sturm?" You look at the idle Soldat inquisitively. This amalgamation of man and machine features a comedy of horrors - a turboprop engine replacing the head and torso of a man, propellers replaced by chainsaw blades, and arms amputated at the elbows by said chainsaws.
The creature is grotesque, lethal, expressionless.
Its unwieldy body rotates towards you on shuffling footsteps.
Heisenberg's frown deepens. "The fucker doesn't listen."
"You didn't give him ears."
Sturm rumbles a low rev of its engine.
Heisenberg jabs a finger at you. "Quit saying that every time I - you know the body didn't have a head."
You try not to crack too wide a smile. "Then he can't help it."
"Are you on my side or not," he storms up to you, teeth flashing, "wifey?"
"I mean-" you glance from Sturm back to the grumpy older man puffing with anger, "what exactly do you think I can do with him?"
"It. It's an it." Heisenberg paces away. "And I need a fresh pair of eyes to figure out what's different about it lately."
"Okay..." You decide not to look too closely, and stay where you are, peering at the Soldat. Sturm is prone to charging and Heisenberg has warned you many times not to step within reach of those chainsaws.
The blades rotate lazily as the engine chugs in a quiet, almost contented rhythm.
You shrug one shoulder. "He seems normal to me. Try telling him to do something."
Heisenberg glances from you to the Soldat. His grey eyes narrow. "Fine. Sturm, my creation-" his tone drawls with bravado, and one hand whips out to snap his fingers towards a dummy made out of a bucket on top of bundled sticks, "mess 'em up!"
Sturm's chainsaw blades whir impassively.
Heisenberg stands there with index finger hovering in the air, grin faltering with a breath dying between his teeth.
Tensing slightly, you watch the Soldat and fidget in place. "Come on, Sturm," you murmur to yourself. "You can do it...!"
Finally, its engine roars to life and Sturm turns to the dummy, the orange glow of its Cadou reactor flaring, chainsaw blades revving-
-and Sturm charges. It crashes into the dummy with blades rotating at full speed. The branches shred to splinters, and the bucket kicks off of a blade and ping-pongs to a far corner of the room.
"Ah-hah!" Heisenberg claps a palm to the top of his hat while ducking a flying stick. You jump behind him. "It's not scrap yet, Buttercup!"
Clinging to his arm, you peek out at Sturm. Its top-heavy torso tips backwards, one leg stomping to throw its weight into balance. It pitches into a wobbling turn and faces the two of you.
Heisenberg grins. "Ah, I think we have our solution," he croons your name. You're swept into his arms so suddenly that you shriek - and his face pops right into yours. "You are my good luck cha-"
RRR-RR-RRRRRV. Sturm faces you and Heisenberg.
Your husband's grin twitches. "The fu-"
RRRRRVVVV. Sturm bends its knees, engine whirring and igniting with a growing orange glow.
Your fingers close hard around the collar of Heisenberg's coat. "Karl, he's going to charge...!"
Heisenberg whirls on a heel and sprints to the door. "Forget it! That thing is scrap!" You slap a palm over the spring scale around his neck to keep it from swinging into your face. Heisenberg hauls you out the metal door and it slams behind you. Boots skidding, he turns so quickly that you grab his hat to stop it from tumbling off of his head. Heisenberg's heavily muscled arms strain - the door bucks mightily with a crash that leaves a dent pointing outward. But the door remains standing.
Heisenberg relaxes. "HA! Take that, fucker!" He cuts you a smug, wolfish smile. "Think some time out will do it some good," he says your name. "Then tomorrow, I'm dismantling it."
Still holding onto his hat, you tug it off of his head and hold it dramatically over your chest. "Oh. How sad." Heisenberg carries you down the corridor. "Do you really need to take him apart?"
You're actually rather fond of Sturm, which Heisenberg has never quite understood. But there was something about how the Soldat took its first wavering steps of un-life towards you when it first powered on that just... waddled straight into a little corner of your heart. Compared to the run-of-the-mill Soldaten, anyway.
Heisenberg squeezes his arms around you. "Afraid so, sweets. Sturm is obviously a liability if it's gonna charge at you."
"I think he was charging at you."
"Me? Its powerful, benevolent creator? It knows better!"
"Seems like he doesn't." You watch the laundry room pass by, the pile of damaged socks sagging limp and sad on a corner table. You tug on his coat. "We passed my stop."
"Ah." Heisenberg utters a playful sound. "Forget it. You can catch up tomorrow."
You sigh and thwack the hat against his chest. "You said that yesterday." Craning your neck, you try to meet his eyes, but Heisenberg stares pointedly ahead with an impish grin, walking you into another room. "-You're going to run out of socks."
"I never knew how lucky I was," he croons, bravado picking up with a mocking drawl, "marrying a gorgeous little lady who gives a shit about my socks."
A snort jets from your nose. "Would you like me to stop?"
He gives you a squeeze while striding into the master bedroom. "I was thinking of more interesting plans for tonight."
"Wow," you deadpan. "Let me guess." He's holding you directly over the bed.
Heisenberg gives you a shake. "Come on," he hisses your name with wicked glee. "We just had a near-death experience!" A more vigorous shake, a smarmy grin as he sets you down. "Don't you want to feel alive!"
"Hard sell, Karl."
He takes his hat from you and tosses it across the bedroom. "But it worked, huh?"
You roll your eyes and rise onto your knees, grabbing Heisenberg's coat collar to pull him in for a firm kiss. Then you part just barely, watching his lips hover in want of yours.
"...Take a shower first," you murmur. And release him. "You smell like formaldehyde."
Some hours later, the two of you are long past passionate evening plans and are sleeping deeply in the dead of night. Something rouses you from slumber: A draft of moving air buffetting your skin. At first you'd flinched closer to Heisenberg, rolling onto his plush middle to try absorbing his ample body heat. But the air just kept moving, so you'd sat up to find the source.
An eerie orange glow hovers in the bedroom doorway. Framed by the hunched and deformed silhouette of a man.
"Ah-!" You smack at Heisenberg's chest with the back of your hand. "Karl!"
He's awake so fast that you're half-flung off of him before both of you tumble out of bed. A light snaps on, and you gasp loudly.
"Sturm!?"
The hardy Soldat rotates towards you with careful stomps of its feet. Its chainsaw blades rotate in a gentle rhythm, sending slight wafts of air across the room.
Heisenberg stares at the creature while holding his hastily summoned hammer aloft. "Well!" He walks towards Sturm, which doesn't move in response. "Aren't you just a persistent little shit!"
Both of you stare at the unwieldy Soldat. "What does he want?" You creep backward towards Heisenberg's protectively outstretched arm.
"Doesn't matter." Heisenberg brandishes the hammer. Sturm turns in place to keep facing you. "I'm gonna- what are you doing?"
You've started pacing back and forth, watching Sturm. And the hulking Soldat rotates to follow you.
Heisenberg stares.
"I don't..." You watch the little pistons chug amiably. "...I don't think he wants to hurt us."
Heisenberg cuts a curt sigh through his teeth. "Don't care." He storms up to the Soldat, snapping a finger. "You- OUT-"
P-POP-POP-POP. Sturm's engine backfires. Its knees brace in a stance facing Heisenberg that you can only interpret as... defiant.
Heisenberg startles. "Fuck-"
"Sturm?" You dare to move towards the grotesque creature, because something actually is different about it. "It's okay. Come here."
Heisenberg stiffens. "Buttercup..."
"Just trust me." You hold your palms up facing Sturm, which rumbles a low sound like a... well, purr. And it walks calmly towards you. The chainsaw blades rotate with gliding, waning momentum, slowing while Sturm approaches.
And the Soldat looses another low... purr... while its engine glows with a steady pulse of gentle heat.
"Um..." Very, very hesitantly, you dare to reach a hand towards Sturm. "Good boy?"
Heisenberg's hammer swings into the shrinking span of space between you and Sturm. "I don't think so."
Sturm backfires. Revs its engine with angry flares of heat.
"Karl," you hold up your palms, "I- I think Sturm is trying to protect me."
He casts you a wide-eyed glare and raises his open hand, fingers clawing. "Buttercup. That thing doesn't have a clue-"
In a move of pure improvisation, desperation and a dash of stupidity, you duck away from both the hammer and Heisenberg, and scurry around Sturm to another corner of the bedroom.
The hammer's head sparks - dances with electricity. Heisenberg hisses your name, knuckles bulging white around the handle.
Sturm waddles in place to face you. It rumbles its engine in a low purr, and takes several steps towards you. Rumbles again.
Heisenberg breathes hard, shoulders pumping, jaw clenched. "What... the hell." And then he marches up to Sturm with a disbelieving glare. "What the hell!"
POP! POP!
Heisenberg startles back. "Goddamnit! It only likes you?"
Emboldened, you walk in a broad circle around the Soldat. And it waddles after you. "He's... kind of sweet!" You giggle. Sturm's amputated arms rise in a futile reach.
Heisenberg sets the hammer upright and leans on it for support. "....Are you telling me. That my weapon of chaos and destruction..." his voice wheezes out from gritted teeth, "imprinted on you... like a duck!?"
Grinning stupidly, you march out of the bedroom and back in. Sturm trails dutifully behind, rumbling and chugging pleasantly.
"Good boy." You step around Heisenberg and grab extra blankets off of the bed. And chuck them onto the floor.
Heisenberg's eyebrows fly up. "-No."
You pat the blankets with both palms. Sturm waddles close until its boots scrunch the cloth and the blankets catch in the metal braces over its legs. Sturm, unable to bend its legs enough to sit, simply stands there and rumbles.
You pop up with a sugary smile first to the faceless amalgamation and then to Heisenberg, who is holding himself up by the hammer.
He stares at you helplessly. "You're fucking with me."
Gently you take his hand and urge Heisenberg towards your shared bed. "He's our son now." This is getting to be a bit too much fun.
Heisenberg's eyes pop open wide. "It!"
"Good night, Sturm!"
The thing purrs again. You drag Heisenberg back to bed and he lays there, facing you, staring defeatedly over your shoulder at Sturm.
Which stands inert on a tangled mess of blankets. All tucked in for sleep, as far as you're concerned.
Heisenberg whispers your name. "-Hey. Hey." He sucks in a tense breath. "You - you want a kid?" He cracks an uneasy smile. "I'll go to the village and pick one up for you first thing tomorrow." You feign a disinterested yawn, indulging in watching your normally cocksure man squirm.
Heisenberg grabs your bicep with a little shake. "I'll let you pick one." His smile flickers. "I'm a Lord, they'll think they're blessed or some shit."
"Mm, I'm good." You pretend to start drifting off to sleep, closing your eyes with a dreamy smile. "Sturm's kind of adorable, don't you think?"
Heisenberg hisses your name across the dark. "...Whatever - you can have whatever you want. Just - not..." You sigh loudly and snuggle into his arms. Heisenberg's embrace tightens around you like a vise. "-Buttercup." He pauses, and you can tell he's trying to figure out if you're awake, so you feign heavy, even breathing. "...Kitten?"
The comfort and warmth settles a cloying heaviness over your body - you really are falling asleep. Sure, you'll tell Heisenberg that you are just messing with him.
Tomorrow.
And so, you drift off...
Heisenberg stares hard at Sturm. Extending just enough of his power outward to wobble the serrated edges of the chainsaw blades, exerting the slightest pressure on its inert, softly glowing engine.
The Soldat doesn't react. It does not so much as twitch in response.
But Karl Heisenberg is no fool. He glares fixedly at the grotesque thing that barreled its way into his wife's heart.
"...She's mine, motherfucker."
Thank you for the prompt, @crowtrobotx !
