Chen Lifen

「 ✦ Demon Emperor Luo Binghe's 60th wife ✦ 」

[wife-060]

Hello all

In our lord husband's infinite generosity, he saw fit to gift us with this wondrous technology from his travels across worlds. Though I am unfamiliar with communication in this manner, I shall endeavor to master it. Greetings sisters, this one is Chen Lifen. You may recognize me as a frequent host for our weekly sun salutations or as chairman of the anniversary celebration budgetary council. Kindly remember that all decisions are final before messaging me here and that bribery is a punishable offense. I look forward to growing closer with you on this strange device. ///OOC based on that one reddit thread: Pretend that you're one of the Original Luo Binghe's wives and that the comment section is the harem group chat LINK

[wife-060]

Remember to submit your ice sculptures by the end of the day for a chance to win luxurious winter hat made from the pelt of a snowy celestial moon rabbit!

As this is my submission,

I find it prudent to also mention there will be consolation prizes for second and third place.

I look forward to seeing what my sisters create- May the best sculptor win!

[wife-060]

With Christmas day right around the corner, I find it prudent to remind everyone that we cannot all be wrapped as presents under the tree. It is a severe safety hazard.

A lottery will take place for a limited amount of placements under the Christmas tree, seek out your nearest official and request a number for tomorrow's drawing if you would like a fair and honest chance to be unwrapped on Christmas day.

After results are announced, we will also be offering conciliatory placements as stocking-stuffers!

Note: Stocking-stuffers shall not be tied up and anyone who does show up with ribbon will be asked to leave.

[wife-419]

Half of the wives with kids here:

⠀ ⠀ (\__/)

(•ㅅ•) Don’t talk to

＿ノヽ ノ＼＿ me or my son

`/　`/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ ヽ ever again.

( 　(三ヽ人　 /　 |

|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ ノ

ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿_／

｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/)

/ﾐ`ー―彡\ (•ㅅ•)

/ ╰ ╯ \ / \>

The other half:

“Where is who? Oh yeah, my son… idk ask the nursery or something”

[wife-060]

As Yi Meilin so astutely notes, it is an unfortunate truth that a great deal of our sisters pursue husband's favor without considering...long-standing outcomes.

Indeed when I pick up Luo Honghui, there are nearly as many imperial nursemaids as there are imperial wives alongside me!

It is hard to blame them, I must confess. One must possess an incredibly thick face to stand by the son they produced when my Honghui is already reading at a third-grade level.

Not all are up to the challenge.

[wife-060]

Recruiting for our sister-wife's army is a righteous cause indeed! I would love to join myself, however wife 612 has trapped me in my spiritual beast form for my interference in her plans. However, I will still be attending in support of those who can join! And if you see a Golden Feathered Weeping Crane in the arena, please send our husband her way. She may be in desperate need of a true love's kiss, and may not be able to refer directly to this need.

-Wife 117

Your commitment to showing solidarity brings tears to my eyes, dear sister!

You may sit with me in the stadium, I will ensure no overeager volunteers try to impress second wife Sha Hualing with their hunting prowess. Afterwards I can assist you in filing the correct forms for requesting our lord husband's attentions, there are specific sections for sealed form entrapment.

I hope any sisters following my account take inspiration from your efforts and redouble their own in auditions tomorrow.

[red-garden]

Could dual cultivation with a heavenly demon cure the common cold?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJun 3, 2025

[wife-419]

Yes, whichever wife asked this must be new in the harem (or a cultivator who’s not afflicted by such common illnesses)

[wife-060]

Extremely new, I completely agree. We have over twenty sisters who married lord husband with the express purpose to cure this exact illness, among others.

[wife-060]

Attention all:

Third wife Sha Hualing has returned to the inner palace requesting volunteers for her next siege. I was not briefed on the details but it’s my suspicion this has something to do with one of our poor sisters being kidnapped by a demon lord recently. This is why escorts are heavily encouraged during sanctioned outings and fellow poetry enthusiasts do not count.

Candidates may arrive at the central sparring arena tomorrow morning to audition for second wife’s army, auditions will be open until nightfall. If you have combat ability, I urge you to apply for our sister’s sake.

To all my sisters who do not possess combat ability, please consider visiting to show your support!

[wife-419]

I think it was wife 612 who put those flowers in the communal garden, I saw her out there last night. Oh, and I'm also convinced she's been poisoning wife 73 and wife 77. Be careful of her, she's been in our wing of the harem far too often for my comfort. You're not even from here, 612! Go back to the second northeastern wing!!

-wife 117

That does sound suspicious... thought she might just have a... close friendship... with one of the wives in our wing. Thanking you for the information!

[wife-060]

Either way her purchases will be reviewed for evidence of this claim, thanking wife 117 for coming forward. If this is true, wife 612 should expect a hefty fine.

Recreational indiscretions between wives (of any nature) may be tolerated, but inconveniencing lord husband for over a month is unacceptable.

[wife-060]

In light of recent events, I find it prudent to highlight our weekly botany seminar, open every Tuesday after lunch in the northernmost gardens. I believe quite a few of us could benefit from a wider understanding of the gardens we so appreciate.

Alternatively, one of our more well traveled sisters, wife 2076 I believe, has written a field guide titled Bloom and Blossom: Fifty Most Potent Springtime Flowers that makes for an excellent summer read and is stocked in our library.

For those already affected, Lord husband has been conferring with his top strategists over how best to dispense treatment as efficiently as possible. Please queue up in front of his private chambers in teams of twenty and he shall provide further instruction.

[wife-060]

WHAT THE FUCK HE'S STILL HERE?? I THOUGHT HE GOT EXECUTED???

-Wife ???🌊

Do you mean to imply you know the identity of this man?

Do you recall his name? Or the crimes for which he should have been executed?

....can you substantiate your knowledge?

[wife-419]

Wife 1290 your daughter is here with me again. She can stay, just wanted you to be aware.

[wife-419]

Should I get a daughter too? I’m enjoying spending time with Xiaoqing more than I thought I would.

[wife-419]

The heavens heard this one’s prayers and answered her in the form of one Luo Wenyan (Wife’s 820’s son) who tried to flirt with this one. Will no longer ask Lord Husband for a daughter, as the chances of getting one of these imprudent males is a chance too big for this Meilin to take.

[wife-060]

How disgraceful! Sisters, please remember your conduct as Yin Meilin has. Our lord husband indulges a great many indiscretions between his beloved wives, however we must never allow another to replace husband.

Though Luo Wenyan may resemble lord husband a great deal in countenance, do not allow that to distract from your loyalty! Hmph! The audacity to presume upon our lord husband's women....in all my years...

[wife-060]

You broke in?? I think I'd cry just imagining doing something like that, how frightening! If the husband's inner circle knows about the pickle guy, can't you ask a wife besides first wife ning? - wife 178

I'm afraid any wife honored as our lord husband's confidant has been sworn to secrecy. I asked both second wife Liu Mingyuan and third wife Sha Hualing and neither would reveal that man's identity. Second wife only said he was where he belongs, and third wife laughed and then left the inner courtyard so I was unable to follow.

I don't dare speculate what this means. However, I believe that I our lord husband's most trusted wives have upheld their duties admirably.

The man's identity has been sealed away, we should respect their diligence and restrain our own curiosity. Let us both make our peace with never learning who he is.

[wife-060]

Oh thank heavens you brought him up.

I've held my tongue for all my years married to our husband, but now that we can speak amongst ourselves-

Genuinely, might I ask who even is that pickle jar guy?

- Wife 178

Unfortunately his presence predates my arrival here so many years ago. As well as I'm sure you've noticed, questions pertaining to that "pickle guy" are not welcome.

I share your frustration, however! In fact, in my eager youth, I was quite determined to learn all I could about this man whom had wronged our lord husband so.

As I understand it, only lord husband's closest inner circle know of his identity and even they aren't allowed access to him.

I commend your discretion in these sensitive manners. I did not possess that restraint as a young wife and so I must caution you to avoid speaking of this man in front of first wife Ning Yingying. She becomes quite upset when reminded of him for reasons we simply will never know.

This also goes without saying, but do not investigate on your own. Lord husband was never more cross with me than when I was caught trespassing in the dungeons and his punishment was most severe. Even now, I am barred from auditing dungeon sanitation.... Forgive me, it makes me a bit wistful to mention even now.

[wife-060]

Hungover as a cultivator? At your age?? Rather disgraceful if you ask me.

-anonymous wife

Kindly refrain from such slanderous speculation in the future!

As my impeccable record can attest, I take our lord husband's trust in my capabilities extremely seriously. I have never once compromised my performance with alcohol! If you must know, I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Our lord husband has been wholly dedicated to venting his grievances upon that man in the dungeons over the past several days now.

Begging a kind sister to take pity on us and remind our husband of the many alternative avenues in which one can alleviate frustrations.

[wife-060]

Ah, I have such a headache.... I must confess I canceled all my obligations for the day, please forgive me, sisters. Rest assured I will complete my paperwork with twice my average efficiency come tomorrow.

[wife-060]

I have just been informed that a sixteen-tentacle boar octopus has been sighted in one of the deeper ponds. Reports conclude it to be non-aggressive and in season. Please remember to wear sunscreen if you do go swimming today.

I shall bring my own if any of my sisters forgets hers.

[wife-060]

that is NOT what I meant by leave a tip and you know it.

[wife-060]

I have just been informed that a sixteen-tentacle boar octopus has been sighted in one of the deeper ponds. Reports conclude it to be non-aggressive and in season. Please remember to wear sunscreen if you do go swimming today.

I shall bring my own if any of my sisters forgets hers.