Here you will find all my Tom Holland, 5SOS, and Shawn Mendes imagines. (I no longer write for the Dolan Twins)
Reblogs and likes would be nice (:
Thank you !
Update: Hi! I have decided to take a break from writing. All is good! Just really busy with life. See you all sometime soon xx Wish you all nothing but the best!
Current Update Schedule:
Tuesdays and Thursdays: Blurbs/Mini Series
Wednesdays: Request
LAST UPDATED: 01/16/21
REQUEST CLOSED // Blurbs
SHAWN MENDES IMAGINE
Festival
Take A Break
Better Half of Me
Just Imagine It
“I Know.”
Instagram Imagines
Getting engaged and married (#1)
Having a baby boy #1
Mini Series
Boys & Girls: Part I , Part II , Part III (COMPLETED)
TOM HOLLAND IMAGINE
I Almost Do
Late, Late Night
Bad Timing
Speak Now: Pt. I , Pt. II
5 SECONDS OF SUMMER IMAGINE
Luke Hemmings
Breathe
“I Can’t Help But Think Every Song Is About Me.”
Having a baby boy #1 (Instagram AU)
Signing
Calum Hood
Paranoid
“You’re My Nicotine”
Going Public (Instagram AU)
Getting Married (Instagram AU)
Reminiscing
Live
Stay-At-Home Order (Instagram AU)
Tour Guide
Bathroom (SMUT)
Sorry
Necklace
Having a Baby Boy (Instagram AU)
Trust Issues
Shortcake
Loving and Losing
Mini Series
Happily Never After : Pt. I, Pt. II , Pt. III, Pt. IV , Pt. V, Pt. VI , Pt. VII , Pt, VIII , Pt. IX, Pt. X (COMPLETED)
Michael Clifford
Gamer Couple (Instagram AU)
Ashton Irwin
Having A Baby Boy (Instagram Au)
IDK You Yet
Bump Talks
Normal
“Just One Date.”
Comfort
Zoom Call
Lemon Tree
Girl’s Night
DOLAN TWINS IMAGINES (I no longer write about them)
Grayson Dolan Imagines
“I’m Not That Great”
Long Distance
Robbery Prank
Young
First Time
I Don’t Think We Can Do This Anymore Pt. 1 // Pt. 2
Everything I Love About You
Adventure
Chapstick Challenge
“About Damn Time”
Surprise!
Fanboys (requested)
“The World Could Change Its Heart”
“Please Be Mine” (requested)
“I Want To Have A Baby With You”
“...or Forever Hold Your Peace.”
Notes (requested)
Beating for Another
I Hate To Think About You With Somebody Else / Heart Out Pt. II
All These Years
Speechless
“I Tried But I Couldn’t”
Sunset and Sunrise
Snow
Terrible Two’s
Marry Me
Ex vs Boyfriend Prank
Mini-Series
“You Just Ruined Something Beautiful”: Pt.I , Pt. II , Pt. III , Pt. IV, Pt. V , Pt. VI (COMPLETED)
“It’s Just For Show Right?”: Pt. I , Pt. II , Pt III
Ethan Dolan Imagines
Coffee Shop
One Week
Forever Hold Your Peace Pt. 1 // Pt. 2
Wisdom Teeth
Sick Days
Coupons
Awards
Dance
“Wait, are you jealous?”
“We Weren’t Doing Anything!”
Attention
Forever Never Last
Fanboys (requested)
“But You’re Cold.”
“We Have A Surprise”
“I’m Not Stupid”
“You Left Me For Another”
“Fuck You”
Lucky
Meant To Be Right?
“We Are In This Together.”
Mini Series
Don’t Let Love Go Unspoken: Pt. I , Pt. II , Pt. III , Pt. IV (COMPLETED)
Hi, it’s been a while since I’ve logged on here. Just wanted to update you all on the fact that I will no longer be writing on this account. I unfortunately don’t have the time anymore as I am focused on other projects. All is good. Life is good. Just busy with life. Wish you all nothing but the best.
Thank you for your amazing support these past few years. I appreciate and love you all. I wish you all nothing but the best.
So this is going to be a three part series. Hope you don’t mind (:
This is Tom’s POV. Any Italics are his inner thoughts.
Pt. I
MASTERLIST
He paces inside the hotel room his brothers have stashed him into. He’s uncertain about what to do with himself. His phone was taken away from him because his soon to be wife wanted to post about the day on her instagram story.
How he is allowing his private life-especially important, sacred moments like these-to be blasted all over social media is beyond him. Tom just remembers her telling him that it would be great for her image and that she was promoting small brands to help them get noticed.
He’s not sure what she means by small brands because her wedding dresses cost him thousands of dollars, and that’s not even mentioning the highly well known wedding planner she had him hire.
Tom almost runs his fingers through his hair but the little voice in the back of his head reminds him that it’s already styled perfectly. He doesn’t want for her to throw a fit in the middle of the ceremony.
Y/N prefers your tousled hair.
“Stop it Tom.” He whispers to himself as his mind begins to pull memories he has long fought to erase from his memory.
He stands before the tall glass mirror. His suit a deep mahogany with a black tie choking him around the neck. His watch glimmers against the small rays of sunlight that peak through the curtain covered windows. He can hear the paparazzi outside buzzing with energy to snap the first picture of the groom and the bride to be.
Y/N would’ve kept everything private.
He sighs at the thought. He knows his inner thoughts are right. She wouldn’t have made this a whole day full of press. She would’ve made sure it was kept top secret like a Marvel movie script. Tom feels like he’d be the one to accidentally spill the beans in some random interview, and she’d be mad for a while but then poke fun at him for not being able to keep a secret.
“Tom, are you ready?”
He turns to smile at his radiant mother who shines brighter than the sun in joy. Her first born is set to marry and start a family of his own. Why wouldn’t she be proud?
“Hi mum. You look beautiful.” He approaches her with open arms. Her warm scent fills his senses as she squeezes him tightly.
“You look rather dashing yourself my dear.” He lightly chuckles at her compliment. The two pull from the embrace.
It’s then that he notices the look of concern on her face as she takes a step back to study him. She can’t help but notice the deep set wrinkles on his forehead and the way his lips curve down on such a joyous occasion.
“Tom what’s wrong sweetie?” He is taken back by her sudden question. She notices the confusion as he tries to figure out what excuse to tell her.
“You may be a phenomenal actor on camera, but I am your mother. I can see through any act you put on.” She sighs as Tom downcast his eyes.
“Come let’s sit and talk.” She pulls him over towards the couch inside the hotel room suite.
“Tom I’m going to ask you this one question and I would like for you to answer honestly. No matter your decision this stays between you and I.” He looks over at her with curiosity.
What is mum going on about?
“Okay.” He breathes out.
“Do you really love her?”
What?
“What?”
“Do you really love Loraine? Does your heart fully belong to her or is there someone else who your heart craves for?” Tom lifts an eyebrow at his mothers question.
“Of course I love her. I wouldn’t be marrying her if I didn’t.” His voice raises at the end. His mother notices, but decides to stay silent. This is his mistake to make.
Tom knows the love his mother holds for you. Despite the two of you never officially dating, the amount of times that he would invite you to family gathers made them grow a close bond. His brothers, including Harrison, all had bets on when the two of you would make it official.
But then Loraine happened and it all dwindled down.
“If you’re sure then I’ll be there every step of the way.” She pats his thigh. “Come on it’s time to get to the church.”
-----
As he exits the car he grows blinded by the loud flashes of the paparazzi. He isn’t even sure where the photographer that Loraine hired is standing.
Literally feels like I’m at a premier.
Don’t forget to smile.
He smiles at the crowd while politely waving at them to conceal his annoyance. His mother rests her hand on his arm as they walk up the small steps. He smiles over at her to reassure her that he is making this decision willingly.
It’s not too late to leave.
Tom shaking his head captures the attention of his best mate. Harrison excuses himself from the bridesmaid he got stuck with and makes his way over to his best friend.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asks Tom who lets his mother so she can go mingle with other people.
“I’m good. A little nervous but good.” Harrison eyes him for a bit before nodding his head. He knows that now is not the place to put his concerns on his best mates relationship. Of course he’s made comments here and there that Loraine wasn’t his soulmate, but he’d rather his mate figure it out on his own so he doesn’t hate him in the future.
“Come on we have to take a couple pictures together.” Harrison changes the subject as he whips out his phone. The two of them snap a couple selfies together before handing the phone to Sam who snaps a couple full body pictures.
The boys begin to joke around with Tom and his nerves calm for a while. But as the saying goes this was only the calm before the storm.
“Y/N is here. Ugh did you see the dress she was wearing? Her stylist must hate her.”
Tom perks up at the mention of your name. His heart begins to race at the knowledge that you were here.
She came.
“I saw her talking with Chris Evans. Gosh he’s so hot.”
Evans.
Tom knows about the close relationship you hold with Chris. He understands that finding friends in this industry is difficult so when one finds a true one you tend to stick with them. Chris has always been more of a brotherly figure in your life and he knows that. Yet, he can’t get it out of his head if the two of you came together or separately.
“Everyone in line! The ceremony is about to begin.”
Sam pulls his brother into a hug, “It’s not too late.”
Tom pulls away from his brother in shock. Sam pats his arm one last time before standing in his position. Tom tries to wrap his head around the comment his brother made, but before he could even process it his mother and father grab his arms.
Not too late for what?
“Ready son?” His father asks as the first beat of the song he is meant to walk down to plays through the small speakers of the large church.
“Never been more ready.”
Where is she?
Tom can’t help but scan the crowds to find you. He isn’t sure if you sat on his side or on Loraine’s, but when he spots Chris he knows you sat on his side. It gave him an odd sense of comfort knowing you sat on his side. It let him know that you were there for him and not for her. Selfish isn’t it?
She looks beautiful.
Tom holds back from visibly shaking his head to remove the thought bouncing off all the walls of his brain. He adores the way your hair falls over your shoulder, how your dress makes your eyes pop, and how your face glows naturally inside the dimly lit church.
That’s when it happens.
Oh shit.
Tom quickly whips his eyes back to the front to make it seem like he was just observing the crowds. He tries his best to keep his face from burning bright red. His heart races against his ribcage as the faint memory of your eyes meeting his melts into his heart.
Little does he know that you didn’t even notice him looking at you. You were busy admiring the way Nikki looked.
When he’s finally at the alter he takes the time to look back through the crowds. Tom’s eyes linger longer on your section. That’s when he spots Chris and you smiling at one another.
Are they together?
He doesn’t have enough time to observe the two of you because this time the two of you do make eye contact. Tom quickly looks away and straightens himself up as the bridal parties song begins to play. He smiles at his best mates and brothers as they walk down the aisle to stand next to him. They all greet him with soft smiles.
Most of them feel sorry for him because they know that his heart will never fully be Loraine’s. They just don’t tell him because Tom should figure this out on his own. It’s just taking a while for it to process that he’s not doing this for all the right reasons.
Finally, she walks down the aisle with her every so charming smile. Loraine looks into the crowd taking in all the attention appointed at her. She doesn’t bother to look over at him.
She’s stunning.
Only Tom wasn’t looking at his bride. Rather he was looking at the beautiful Y/N who smiles happily at the bride.
How I wish that was you.
Tom shocks himself at the singular thought he just experienced.
No Tom.
That’s when it actually happens.
Your eyes meet with his, and Tom feels everything around him stop. He is quick to look away from you. His hands begin to shake as he realizes how much closer she is to him.
His brothers stare at him as he swallows thickly. His neck grows red as his body overheats. The tie around his neck grows tighter by the second. He wants to desperately reach up and loosen it.
He’s not sure how to react to see his bride walking down the aisle. Shouldn’t he be emotional? Crying?
You don’t love her.
But he does love her. He has always loved her. Otherwise he would have never proposed to her in the first place.
You wish it was Y/N.
“Who here gives this women to this young man?”
Shit, she’s here already. Okay, focus Tom.
Her father hands her over to him. Tom takes her dainty hand in his to assist her up the small steps. She smiles up at him showing off her perfectly white teeth. He forces a smile back at her before focusing his attention to the priest.
Tom fights for focus through-out the ceremony. His mind is going a thousand miles per hour as he tries to think of pros and cons to this marriage. Every time he does he can’t help but add not having you in his life as a con.
Tom feels a light jab on his hand pulling him away from his trance. He turns to look at his bride who is fighting back a glare that would certainly kill him.
Wait what are we doing?
“Tom, from the moment my eyes laid on you I knew that you were going to be special to me.”
Oh right. The vows.
“You are everything I ever want in a husband, a best friend, and the father of my children. Which we are going to have many of.”
We’ve never discussed having kids before.
“Tom your vows.”
How many does she want?
His brother hands over the sheet that he wrote last-minute vows on. Tom rolls his shoulders back to ease the tension he was feeling. It didn’t do much, but it made him look alert.
“When I first met you at the after party for a film- sorry I am having a hard time remembering which one.”
Wait I shouldn’t have said that.
“Um...gosh my handwriting is extremely difficult to read.” He pokes fun at himself as he shakily stares at the sheet of paper before him. His bride gives him a reassuring smile, as she patiently waits for him to get his shit together.
He knows that smile is far from reassuring from the glint of anger fluttering in the iris of her eye. The guest laugh it off as they watch him go tongue-tied. All he can remember are things he’s done with you.
Come on Tom think.
“Okay, so I’m gonna have to wing this.”
“Um, well I’m not too great with words, but I will say this. Through the course of our relationship I have seen a side of you that I know not many get to experience. You are such a giving person with a heart of gold. The love of you carry for others is one I hope our children will inherit.”
Good job throwing in the kids comment.
“You have brought a joy into my life. One that creates peace in my usually busy life. You keep me grounded when my life is in shambles. You give me the best fashion advice and always know what to say. I love you forever Loraine.”
The crowd all aww at his vows. He even sees a couple wipe away a fear tears.
Good job Tom.
The priest goes on to say a couple things before announcing.
“If anyone here is opposed to this matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Loraine’s head quickly whips over to stare into Tom’s section. Tom hears the creaking off all the pews as they turn to stare towards the back of the church. He slowly looks over and spots you standing there like a deer caught in the headlights.
He notices the paling in your face leading him to know that you didn’t mean to stand up at that exact moment. Your anxiety must be all over the place.
He feels his own heart start to speed up as he, as well as everyone there, waits for you to speak up.
Please say something Y/N.
His brothers all stand behind him staring at you with hidden smirks. Harrison looks between his best friend and who he is truly meant to be with wondering what’s going to happen next.
The priest fumbles around with things as he tries to process what is going on. No one was expecting for anyone to actually stand up.
Tom’s heart stops when he sees you frantically rush out of the church. His chest feels tight and full of fire when he noticed Chris hot on your tail. He takes a step forward but the harsh grip that Loraine has on him stops Tom from chasing after you.
Oh no.
He looks out to the guest who stare at him with wide eyes. They all noticed him moving towards Y/N. Loraine’s murderous glare only clarifies things for Tom as he tries to process what just happened in front of him. He looks back at his parents who are already staring right at him. His mother gives him a reassuring smile while his father stares at him with pure confusion.
That’s all he needs to know that his next course of action was going to be okay. Well for him it would.
“I’m so sorry Loraine.” Tom pulls the microphone off of his suit and hands it over to Harrison. Tom doesn’t look back as he runs in the direction you left in. His lungs feel as if they were about to burst. He isn’t sure where you could’ve possibly gone, but he knows that you would have done everything to avoid going out in-front of the paparazzi.
The courtyard.
It takes him a while to find the courtyard. If it weren’t for the sound of your voice he would probably still be running around like a headless chicken.
As he pushes the door open Tom observes how you are facing the rose bushes and Chris stares at you with concern on his face.
Tom quietly walks towards Chris who soon acknowledges his presence behind him. Tom can see the shock on Chris’s face as he stares at him trying to figure out what is going on.
Tom lifts his empty left hand which answers all of Chris’s questions. He gives him a soft smile before walking out leaving the two of you alone.
“I thought he was my person, but I guess things don’t always work out in one’s favor huh.”
You are my person Y/N.
“You know I stupidly thought that coming here today would be my closure. That I would see him standing there with the love of his life and that it would click in me that I don’t have feelings for him. Now look at me here crying over him and accidentally making a fool out of myself in front of co-workers, friends, and his family who I have met multiple times before. I even thought he was looking at me twice during the ceremony but I’m just delusional. Why would he even be looking at me? I’m nothing but a friend to him. Why do we fall for the people who has given their heart to another?”
Tom stands there like a lost child at an amusement park. He has lost all sense of direction as he tries to process everything he just heard you say.
“Chris?”
The two of you meet eye to eye. Her eyes show fear and anxiety as she stands in-front of him. He knows she’s wondering if he heard everything she said. He watches as the exposed skin burns red.
So might make this a two part ? This one’s in Y/N POV and the other one might be in Tom’s POV. Not sure though. Thoughts? Opinions?
MASTERLIST
Your black high heels hit the concrete as you step out of your rental. You thank the driver-who holds the door open for you-and smile at all the flashing cameras surrounding the entrance. You could’ve sworn you saw paparazzi miles down the street trying to get the first picture of the happy couple.
You clench your handbag with your left hand while the right waves over at a couple familiar faces. The steps up into the church all full of white rose petals with red carpeting running down the middle. Honestly it gives off movie premier vibes, minus the rose petals.
The church looks foreign to you. It’s all decorated head to toe with elaborate decorations that possibly cost more than your net-worth.
Definitely more her style than his.
“Bride or groom?”
You look down, dumbfounded as the security guard holding an iPad eyes you up and down.
“Excuse me?” You fiddle with the pendant hanging off the chain around your neck.
“Are you here for the bride or the groom?”
Oh.
Who were you there for? You’ve known the groom and the bride well enough to consider them both good friends. The groom and you met before the bride, actually years before the bride. He was your best friend, and at one point your only trusted friend. The bride was someone you met years after, and the reason they even met in the first place. She’s a good friend in loosely used terms.
So with that in mind you look back up at the security guard and say:
“The groom.”
“Name.”
You swallow the knot in your throat, “Y/N Y/L/N.”
He taps the screen a couple times before nodding and allowing you to pass the titanic intricately designed doors. Your hand falls against your side as you step into the chatter of people. Your eyes scan around in hopes of finding a familiar face.
“Y/N!” You hear a welcoming voice behind you. You turn your body around and smile as you see one of your many co-stars.
“Evans!” He walks over and pulls you into a comforting hug, one you didn’t even know you needed until that moment. He was the closest you had to an older brother in this career and in your life. You guys met when you were first starting out in your career and the bond between the two of you has continued to grow. Working with him never felt like a job, and he never made you feel like you didn’t belong.
“How are you?” He asks as he releases you from his embrace and rests his hands inside his pocket. You know what he meant by that question. He wasn’t asking how you were in general. He was asking how you were with the current situation at hand. His eyes do a terrible job at hiding the pity for you, so you race to come up with some sort of diversion.
“I’m good. Wow it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How have you been?”
“I’ve been busy, but great at the same time.” The two of you stand there for a while chatting about his current projects and how excited he is for your new film. It isn’t until a new security guard comes over to tell you guys to find a seat because the ceremony is about to begin.
Chris and you sit on the grooms side. You greet any familiar faces that you see, and avoid the pitiful gazes of others. The speakers begin to play a beautiful ballad indicating the entrance of the groom and his parents. Everyone turns their body to stare at the dashing groom with his hair combed to the side as his parents gleam with joy. He gives a half smile as he nervously keeps his gaze to the front of the church reminding himself to not trip.
As he walks past you, Chris grips your hand resting closest to him to give you a reassuring squeeze. You look over at him with a tight lipped smile before glancing back over to the front of the church where your eyes accidentally meet the grooms.
Or maybe it wasn’t an accident.
Maybe, just maybe he was staring at you.
No, he doesn’t want you and he never has.
You shift in your seat, while finding sudden interest in your black heels.
Soon the bridal parties song begins to play. You almost chuckle as you hear the overplayed Turning Pages play as everyone walks down. His brothers look dashing in their suits as they walk down linked arm to arm with girls you’ve never seen. You smile at the way the boys greet their brother at the end of the aisle.
That’s when the pews creak as everyone rises from their seats. The wedding march begins to echo through the thick walls of the high ceiling building. You slowly get up and turn your attention over to the blushing bride. Her smile meets her eyes as she stares at both sides full of guests. Her father walks right beside her looking emotional to say goodbye to his little girl.
You don’t have to force a smile as you stare at the two of them slowly stroll down the aisle. The dress adorning her body hugs her figure beautifully. Her hair cascades perfectly down her back, but the long crystalized veil conceals it. You expect Tom to cry, to be a big blubbering mess at the end of the aisle. You half expected for her to be staring right at the groom, but her greed for attention has always been one of her flaws.
It isn’t until she reaches the middle of the pew that you turn to the groom. You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes flicker away from you, but your mind has a way of playing tricks on you. He isn’t the mess you expected him to be. Instead he stares at her with a loving smile, one that doesn’t reach the eyes, but you know holds passion for the other.
Why would he be looking at you when the love of his life is walking down the aisle to him?
He doesn’t want you.
“Who here gives this women to this young man?”
“Her father and mother do.” Her father gives Tom her petite hand allowing her to take a step up towards their seats. Everyone sits back down.
At this point you begin to rethink the reason you find yourself sitting in the sea of guest who actually came here with great intentions.
Not saying that you didn’t go there with good intentions, but you were actually being selfish.
The only reason you came is to help you get the closure you so desperately in search for. For the racing thoughts of him pressing his lips against yours to leave your mind. For the way he would hold you while a movie played on the screen in his living. For your heart to finally stop racing at the sound or thought of his name, his eyes, and his scent. For the moments on and off set that the two of you shared together to blur into a distant memory.
You want to close your eyes at night and not see him there as yours.
You tune out a majority of the ceremony. It felt unimportant to listen in, but it wasn’t until they got to the vows that you chose to tune in.
“Tom, from the moment my eyes laid on you I knew that you were going to be special to me.”
Weren’t you fucking your roommates brother then?
“You are everything I ever want in a husband, a best friend, and the father of my children. Which we are going to have many of.” She makes sure to glance at the crowd. You hate how well you knew the both of them, because while one poured their heart out to the other the other was bullshitting.
The crowd aww’s while you hold back bile. She goes on and on about how her career-as a model-brought them together and how she can’t wait to see what more successes they experience together.
“Her gold-digger is showing.” Chris whispers into your ear as she begins to talk about the extravagant gifts that Tom has given her through-out the years and even making sure to state how much the entire wedding cost, which he paid for. She even goes as far as talking about their honeymoon.
“Shh.” You nudge him but your smile contradicted the scolding. Chris smiles happy that he made you smile while your heart was tearing into pieces.
“Tom your vows.”
You hold your breath as he rolls his shoulders back to read the written out words on the sheet his brother hands him.
“When I first met you at the after party for a film- sorry I am having a hard time remembering which one.”
I remember.
“Um...gosh my handwriting is extremely difficult to read.” He pokes fun at himself as he shakily stares at the sheet of paper before him. His bride gives him a reassuring smile, as she patiently waits for him to get his shit together. The guest laugh it off as they watch a tongue-tied Tom try to form words into sentences.
“Okay, so I’m gonna have to wing this.” You hold your breath as he crumbles the paper and looks into his lovers eyes. There is quite a distance between the two of you, but you manage to see the warm look his eyes carry as they melt into hers. He caresses her hand with his, lightly rubbing the back of her hand with the pad of his thumb.
“Um, well I’m not too great with words, but I will say this. Through the course of our relationship I have seen a side of you that I know not many get to experience. You are such a giving person with a heart of gold. The love of you carry for others is one I hope our children will inherit.”
You let out a shaky breath as he goes on to declare his love for the girl he chose.
What am I doing here?
Chris sees the way your facial expression falls with each spoken word from Tom. He can’t help but feel for you as he notices the trembling in your hands. He knows he needs to get you out of here and fast.
You desperately try to conceal them by tucking your hands underneath your thighs but the thumping in your chest never diminishes. Your face feels hot as you stare at the happy couple smiling at one another with a sickeningly loved up look.
“I need to get out of here Chris.”
Your friend turns to look at you as he tries to figure out the best escape plan without bringing in any unnecessary attention towards you.
“Okay, I need for you to take in a deep breath while I try to figure out the best strategy to leave. There are cameras everywhere so we have to be cautious.” You nod as you inhale sharp breathes to try and ease your tightening lungs. Tom continues to speak, but it all meshes together as your ears ring from the lack of oxygen.
“I can’t wait any longer.” You grab your purse from the floor and stand up in the eerily quiet church.
“Y/N, no!” You feel Chris desperately wanting to tug you back down, but it’s too late. The familiar sound of the pews creaking reach your ears as hundreds of eyes stare at you in bewilderment. The room grows stuffier as the cameras surrounding you continuously flash waiting to see what will happen next. Chris has now let go of your arm, but the concern on his face is clearly evident.
Oh no.
You anxiously scan the room trying to figure out your next course of action. You could just turn around and leave or grab Chris to walk out with you. You could also awkwardly tell everyone that you need to go to the bathroom.
That’s when your eyes meet.
He stares at you with worry as he notices the flush on your skin. You feel a pair of eyes burning into your chest so you flicker for a second to stare at the angry bride for ruining her big day. You can’t help but feel guilty because you know this would be in the headlines tomorrow.
You would be at the center of attention while she’s set to the side as always.
The priest looks surprised as he tries to figure out what to say next. In his multiple years of being a priest he has never encountered an actual objection to the wedding. Usually they only say that phrase to keep old traditions alive, but here you are standing up in the middle of a sea of people.
You turn back to Tom who looks between his fuming bride and you. He’s unreadable to you.
Taking in a deep breath you turn on your heels and squeeze your way out of the pew. You excuse yourself to those who’s knees you bump along the way. When you finally reach the end of the pew you quickly walk the opposite direction of the entertained guest.
When you finally reach the end of the church you close your eyes in annoyance as you remember the sea of paparazzi waiting outside to snap the first picture of the happily married couple. Going out there right now would be a terrible move for your image. Not that your current situation wasn’t going to have you in deep shit with your publicist, but adding on more would just make it worse.
“Fuck.” You whisper under you breath as you turn towards the bathrooms. As you walk towards them you feel a presence behind you. You tilt your head back and sigh when you see your friend.
“What are you doing here?” You whisper as he approaches you with flushing cheeks.
“I couldn’t let you leave alone. Now come on I know a way to get out of here without the paps seeing us.” Chris sighs as he grabs a hold of your wrist leading you through a door that read no entrance.
“Chris we can’t go through-”
“Shh.”
You clamp your lips shut.
Well then.
Chris finally reaches the door he was searching for and pushes it open. You let out a much needed breath as the cool California air evening air hits your face. The ringing in your ear begins to subside as the tightening in your chest loosens up.
Chris stands a few feet away from you allowing for you to have your time to calm down. He, out of all people, understands how it feels to be anxious. He also knows how you get from having known you since you were a teen.
“I really fucked up didn’t I.” You sigh as you throw your purse onto the picnic table randomly placed out back. Your hands rest on your hips as you pace the secluded area trying to process what just happened.
“Kind of, but not in the way you think. More in the ‘the media is going to have a field day tomorrow’ kind of fuck up.”
You can’t help but glare at Chris.
“It’s the truth.” He defends himself.
“i know.” You sigh. “Ugh why is my life such a fucking mess.” You rest your hand on your forehead as a migraine begins to form.
“It’s not a mess Y/N. You just are going through a rough patch right now. Things will get better even if you think it won’t.” He tries to reassure you.
You sigh knowing that he is right, but at this moment you can’t help but think about the consequences you actions will later have. You sit down on the bench to think about what to do next and how to apologize to Tom and his wife.
“Why do we fall for people we can’t have?” You whisper as your head rests on top of Chris’s shoulder. Chris sighs as he notices the hint of pain in your voice.
“Well I’m not exactly an expert on love. But I don’t think we fall for people we can’t have. I think of it more of we fall for people who can have, but that aren’t meant for us. I feel like they are put into our lives to show us a new kind of pain so when we meet the right person we understand that there was a reason they didn’t work out. Some people are just meant to share a special bond that never escalates because they’re better off as friends.” His words are comforting, but you can’t help but let out a few stray tears.
“I thought he would be different.” You sniffle. “Here I am at his wedding with the girl I introduced him with. Gosh if I could go back to that day and never have them meet I would. Is that selfish?” Your laugh is painful.
“I don’t think that’s selfish.” Chris wants nothing but to make you feel better, but he knows that you need to get your emotions out of your system.
“I do. I hate thinking this way. I hate having this false idea that maybe for a second he and I would’ve worked out. You know I was going to tell him how I felt one night, but that was the same day I found out that he was dating her. She knew how I felt about him. She used to say that we were meant to be. Now she’s the one standing in-front of the priest with him probably saying ‘I Do’ this very second.” You choke back a sob. At this point you are standing up with your back to the door the two of you came out through. You focus your attention on the beautiful rose bushes surrounding the area. “I thought he was my person, but I guess things don’t always work out in one’s favor huh.”
Chris remains silent.
“You know I stupidly thought that coming here today would be my closure. That I would see him standing there with the love of his life and that it would click in me that I don’t have feelings for him. Now look at me here crying over him and accidentally making a fool out of myself in front of co-workers, friends, and his family who I have met multiple times before. I even thought he was looking at me twice during the ceremony but I’m just delusional. Why would he even be looking at me? I’m nothing but a friend to him. Why do we fall for the people who has given their heart to another?”
Chris again remains silent.
“Chris?” You turn around only to no longer spot your friend sitting on the bench. Your breath hitches in your throat as you stare into a new set of eyes. He stands by the door eyes burning right into yours. His eyebrows pinch together as his lips slightly part as he process all you have spoken.
Your face burns red wondering how much of your rant he heard.
The world seems darker, gloomier. The little things no longer spark interest. The crunch of the fall leaves no longer bring you joy. Bringing out the knitted sweaters and beanies no longer make your heart warm up like a cappuccino on a winter night.
“Here you go miss.”
The smile you give is courteous; short and sweet. The mug in your hand brings a small flame to the heart that is a single step away from shattering. There’s small pieces of bandages trying to hold it together.
But much like broken glass, it’s irreparable.
You set the once a day mug beside the dimly lit laptop resting beside a stack of notes. The tension in your shoulders rolls down your back as you sit down for the fifth time that day. Only difference is the location, as you are no longer confined to the four walls of your bedroom.
You rest your middle finger on the trackpad to awaken the screen. A sigh escapes your un-moisturized lips. The hot contents of the mug scalds your tongue.
Hmm
You wince away as you set it back onto the wooden table.
The next hour is spent solely on the assignment in front of you. The want to procrastinate lingers on the tip of your fingers, but you know that you have to get this done now or it will never get done. When you finally allow yourself to take a break the contents in the mug are cold.
Ugh
You sigh, staring into the half empty mug wishing it would burn your chest. Now it just adds on to your cold-heartedness. The amount of money you have in your bank account taunts you as you rest the mug back on the table. You didn’t feel like going up to ask the barista to warm it back up, so you force yourself to down the drink.
You throw the straps of your bag over your shoulder, leaving behind a clean table. The mug rests in your hand as you maneuver yourself in-between the other customers. You rest it on the dirty tray near the trashcan where you throw away a napkin you used as a coaster.
You push, but much to your dismay it is meant to be pulled open. Your face flushes red as a young boy stares over at you with a small tilt to his head observing your movements. You shoot him a shy smile as you take a step back from the door to open it properly.
The cool, crisp air hits your face instantly turning the tip of your nose a crimson shade. Your hands search for warmth inside the pockets of your jacket. Your quivering body scolds you at the lack of layering for the cold weather.
The walk to your apartment isn’t long. It’s probably less than a mile from where you currently were. The scenery around is not the most prestige, but you like that it has a couple bruises. It’s what makes it beautiful. You let out a deep breath loving the way it creates a puff of fog.
Once home you place your bag near the entrance of the door and your jacket on the hook by the show closet. The apartment is quiet. The only sound is the heater jump starting again to warm up the home. The curtains have yet to be pried open. Your feet drag against the hardwood floor towards the bathroom.
You twist the knob allowing the faucet to flip open with warm liquid. Your butt rests against the edge of the tub as you mindlessly zone out to the sound of the droplets hitting the plastic.
Fuck.
You didn’t realize how long you fell into a daydream until you feel the water hit against your thigh. You turn the knob in the opposite direction. The warmth of the water surrounds your freezing hand as you pull the plug. You watch as a small tornado forms with the water. It swooshes down until you finally put the plug back in.
You gently remove the clothing covering you and fold it neatly onto the seat of the toilet. The toes are in first, then the feet follow, then the legs, the thighs follow, then your butt, your hips, your back, and finally your shoulders. Your head rest against the wall of the tub. Hair up in a tight bun away from the water as it was not wash day.
Ahh
Your body becomes less tense as you melt into the warmth of the water. You envision yourself on a beach somewhere tropical away from the realities of your current life. You envision yourself running down the sand, a radiant smile on your face, as the sun kisses your gorgeous skin. You envision him.
No.
Your eyes open wide as you shake him out your mind, but it’s too late.
You envision his bed head as he wakes up in the mornings. The way he would instantly reach over to pull you closer to him so he could bury his face in your neck to hide away from the light peeping through the blinds. You envision the giggle that escapes your lip as he protests to you leaving the bed. How his arms would hook around and his leg intertwine between yours to keep you with him.
His body radiates a warmth that no other has made you feel. The beat of your heart a steady one, but the pitter patter full of content. His lips brush against the naked skin just above your collarbone. You shudder at the feeling, enjoying how he felt against your rested body.
Stop it.
He fills your thoughts as you reach over to unplug the tub and turn on the shower head. You scrub your head with force as you fight the vivid picture of the speckles of gold inside his bark brown eyes. Your skin burns pink as you scrub away the feeling of his soft touch as he would whisper sweet nothings into your ear or a sweet goodbye before he would depart from you.
The soap trickles down to the bottom of your feet and by the end of the shower you feel raw.
*ding dong*
Your bones jump out of your skin as you grab onto the wall of the bathtub. You turn the water off and stand there in the silence waiting to see if the person would just go away.
*ding dong*
Guess not.
You grab your robe and tightly secure it against your body. No one is expected to come around to your home. but the hours aren’t unusual for guest. It’s just unusual for any guest to wander down to your doorstep. You lift the over on your peephole to try to make out the figure on the other side of the door.
Their knuckles coming in contact with the wood startles you causing the cover to hit the door.
“Y/N, I know you’re in there. It’s me. Please open the door.”
It can’t be.
You stand there beside your door contemplating whether or not you should unlatch the door or walk away.
He stands on the opposite side hopeful that you would open the door. He’s unsure if he just imagined the cover hitting the door or if the sound of the door unlatching was also just his imagination.
Neither of them were.
Fuck.
The door is now unlocked, your shaking hand on the handle of the door waiting to pull it open. Your heart beats profusely against your chest you swear if a cheetah ran against it you would win.
“I’m sorry Y/N.”
He speaks again, but this time he steps back from the door. The shuffling of his feet soon fades away as you stand silently frozen.
Fuck.
The door pulls open, and your head pops out from behind it. You stare at him standing in-front of the metal doors. His head his down. Hair swept to the side; damp from his earlier shower. You can tell because his curls were slowly starting to form in the front, but the back was still perfectly flat.
“Tom.”
Your voice jumps from wall to wall until it finally reaches him. The elevator dings, he looks inside of it contemplating whether or not he should leave. He’s unsure as to why he was there in the first place. All he knew is that after his shower he had this sudden urge to visit you, so he did.
Please look at me.
Your face flushes as he takes a single step towards the elevator.
I should’ve stayed inside.
“Oh so you’re just going to leave again. Typical.” You bark at him. You shouldn’t have, but when he turns on his heels to look at you with fire brewing in his eyes you don’t care.
“Y/N, I didn’t come here to fight with you.” He inhales a short, calming breath. “I came to talk things out, but if we both can’t be reasonable adults then it is pointless.”
Your fist clench beside your thighs as you glare at him.
He wants to be an adult. Fine. We can be adults.
“Let’s talk then.” You turn on your heels to disappear into your apartment. Tom sighs as he speed walks towards your door. Once inside he shuts the door, locking it behind him.
He removes his shoes because he knows how much you hate it. He sets his jacket on the hook that once belonged to him. The motion left nostalgic. It brought back memories that he had hid far back into his head for months.
You stare from a distance. How he respectfully removes his shoes and places them on the shoe rack by the door, and how he places his jacket on the second hook to his left.
He remembers.
“Why are you here Tom?” You ask sitting down on the couch, placing a pillow perfectly against your stomach to conceal yourself. He walks towards you, and sits on the love seat across from you. His hands rub against one another as he tries to form his words into sentences.
“I miss you.”
Just rip it off like a bandaid Y/N.
Your face heats up at his revelation, but not of anger rather of pain. He stares at you with hope lingering in his eyes. You open your mouth to speak, but the cat seems to have stolen your tongue.
“Look I know it’s been months since we last have seen one another or spoken to each other. But I can’t get you out of my head, out of my heart. Everything reminds me of you. From the lyric I write to spotting dogs on the street. I miss my best friend, my lover. I miss you Y/N. You make me feel things no other girl has ever made me feel. I know I fucked up. I know I grew immature and broke things off. I regret that decision every single day, because not a day goes by that I go without knowing that my heart still belongs to you. I love you Y/N.”
Now do it now.
“Tom...I-” Your brows furrow together as you cling onto the pillow.
“Please Y/N. Just give me another chance and I will prove to you every single day that I will always be there for you. I love you Y/N.” He is now kneeling in front of you. His hands reach up to grab your shaking ones. Your eyes blur over with a fresh set of tears.
What are you waiting for?
“Please say something.”
He pleads gripping your hands in his as the pad of his thumb rubs over your shaking knuckles.
Decided to write this in Calum’s POV and in Y/N’s . Something I’ve never done before but hope you guys like it!
Wrote this at 2am so hopefully it’s not shit lol
Inspired by the song Loving & Losing by Delaney Bailey !
The memories all mesh together into a big blob of darkness. He is unsure whether he wants to forget or if he wants to reach into the abyss to desperately pull them out and file them permanently in his brain.
You’re unsure if you want to remember the wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, or the ones on his cheeks when he smiles at the smallest of things.
He’s unsure if he wants to remember the pink of your cheeks after a compliment he gives you, or the furrow of your brow as you concentrate on a new song he had just finished writing.
He once told you that he didn’t cry. That he didn’t like to be vulnerable because it made him seem weak. You remember the way he spoke with such confidence leading you to believe him.
Until the night he finally broke right in front of you, startling you at the sudden cascade of salty droplets down his sun kissed skin.
You remember uttering the words, “It’s not you it’s me.” and then a little back and forth before the two of you met in an embrace with Duke scratching at your leg for attention.
You recall feeling droplets against the cotton of your thin shirt. He recalls the smell of your hair. His grip tight around your body, desperately trying to memorize how it molded into his body perfectly.
“Please don’t go.”
“Goodbye, Calum.”
Duke chased behind you with a wagging tail excited that one of his humans was approaching the door near his leash.
Calum recalls the tilt of confusion that his pup gave towards the door when you shut it behind you for the last time.
“Come here Duke.”
You wonder if he still thinks about you.
He wonders if you still think about him.
Songs by his band occasionally play at your local grocery store. You remember hearing his voice echo through the aisles as you stood before the produce trying to find the ripest watermelon.
I remember the freckles on your back
And the way I used to make you laugh
You can faintly feel the tip of his calloused fingers connecting the faintest of freckles on your back as you lie on his chest.
He can faintly hear the softest giggles erupting from your lips as his touch tickled the soft of your skin.
Cause you know every morning I wake up
Yeah, I still reach for you
As you put the watermelon into the cart you begin to wonder if he did still reach for you. Did he even think about you anymore?
As he listens to his best friend belt out the lyrics he stares into the crowd with a false sense of hope that one day you would be standing in the crowd before him.
He went from writing loving songs with happy endings to sad ballads with no happily ever after. He writes with tears onto the broken parts of his heart. All of them about you.
I promise you until the end of time
You reach into the small box hidden away from anyones view. The ring glistens against the golden hour glow. You dare not to touch the ring as it ignites a fire inside your body.
“You keep it. I bought that for you.”
He remembers the night he finally got on his knees. Feeling as if he finally got the happy ending he was never in search for.
He remembers the way your face lit up with joy, or maybe it was the reflection of the fire burning inside the home.
You remember the beating of your heart against your chest with the familiar blur of your eyes. The single nod of your head brought a joy out of the man you knew you loved that you didn’t have the heart to speak any words.
He doesn’t know that.
You did.
And I’ll always miss the memories of the mornings we were high
The two of you never did get “high” as he didn’t like the feeling of it. The two of you got to experience a different type of high; happiness. That small word holds such a bigger picture in everyones world.
For you it was the small late night talks with the pint of ice cream in between the two of you with pointless conversations.
For him it was the softness of your snoring as you slept beside him.
He gave you a sense of peace that brought happiness into your soul.
You once were terrified of silence leaving you an anxious mess at night, but he taught you that silence was okay.
The two of you would have nights where neither would talk because your presence with one another spoke louder than words. On days he was gone you felt a sense of comfort knowing that when you would wake up the next morning his ringtone would wake you up.
He would tell you that sometimes he would hug his pillow when he missed the comfort of your arms.
Hello, I have not written in a while bc life is just crazy busy rn. If you have sent me in request I will get around to them soon!
Hope you like this xx
Feedback would be appreciated (:
MASTERLIST
“Hello guys and welcome back to another round of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts with the lovely Y/N Y/L/N and Tom Holland!” James Corden cheers as the cameras turn back on after going on commercial break. You wave at the camera with a sweet smile and Tom does the same. The two of you were here prompting your new movie together.
James turns to look at the two of you and explains the instructions to the game. You aren’t going to lie and say you aren’t nervous for what is about to asked and for what you might have to eat. Your publicists and manager are both sitting in the front row giving you nods or shakes to what you can or cannot answer. Tom and you knew how this game went as the two of you prepared by watching videos before coming on.
“I think we should do ladies first.” Tom’s accent fills your ears as he claps his hands with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“Fine I’ll do it, but only because I know how afraid you are of the questions Holland.” You laugh shaking your head at the man sitting to your right. The crowd ooh’s and laughs at your comment as Tom’s cheeks blush.
“I’ll ask the first question.” Tom clears his throat as he picks up the first card. His eyes flicker from the card and then back up to you.
“What was your first impression of Tom Holland? Well this should be interesting.” He smirks as he raises an eyebrow awaiting your response. You press the tip of your tongue against the back of your front teeth as you think of your response. The crowd even leans forward as they all anticipate the answer dancing on the tip of your tongue.
“Well, my first impression of Tom was that he was clumsy.” Tom gasps at the slight insult thrown his way. James laughs at Tom’s reaction and begs for more information.
“When I first walked onto set he was bouncing around with his brother Harry. I was grabbing my coffee right, and I see Tom standing with his brother pretty far from where I was, and I have never met him so I thought why not go introduce myself before we start the scenes, but then I get called back to do makeup and hair so I choose not too.”
“Oh gosh, I’m remembering now.” Tom groans as he covers his face flushed with embarrassment. You smile over at Tom as James coaxes you to continue on about the conversation.
“I had to meet him on set, and the first scene we had together was one where he was ‘saving me’. If you haven’t watched the movie yet I’d recommend you mute this part.” You laugh adjusting the sleeves of your dress. “So in the scene I’m meant to trip over a flyer and he’s meant to capture me in the halls. I’m walking around and then he was meant to catch me in his arms.”
“Oh no!” James gasps with a loud laughter shaking the entire table.
“He drops me! I literally plummet to the ground and I have a video of it happening and a picture with the large bruise on my elbow to prove it.” You exclaim as Tom shakes his head in pure embarrassment.
“In my defense, I have really sweaty hands when I’m nervous and her shirt was made out of this silk material. Those two things don’t mix together.” You giggle as he desperately tries to defend himself to the public who are all laughing at him.
“My turn to ask the question!” You begin to turn the table around finding the most disgusting dish you could find.
“Ah be wise about this one.” You smirk as you turn to stare at Tom who’s eyes are fixated on the calf brain sitting in front of him.
“There’s no fucking way I’m eating this.” He grimaces before you utter the question.
“Tom,” He turns to look at you anxiously waiting the question. “What is the thing you find most annoying about me?”
“Come on don’t be shy. Come out with it.” You tease as he glances back down at the calf brain contemplating if it’s worth eating it or not. His shoulders drop as he glances at you, James, and then the crowd.
“The most annoying thing? Only one?” He jokes earning a gasp from you and a loud ‘Ooo’ from the crowd.
“I’m kidding!” His laugh lines show as he smiles brightly towards you.
“Come on answer the question.” You lightly shove his foot underneath the table, something the fans with eagle eyes notice.
“Umm,” He purses his lips together. “There really isn’t anything that annoys me about you. I mean I do find it a bit annoying how grumpy you are in the morning before you get coffee in.”
“Hey not all of us can be chirpy and upbeat in the mornings. You’re also grumpy in the morning and we have Harrison to vouch for me.” You adjust yourself in your seat as your dress grows stuck to the leather seat.
James goes next, receiving a question about worst celebrity he has interviewed. He, of course, eats the crickets placed in front of him as he didn’t want to get sued or in trouble with his manager.
“Y/N, your turn again.” Tom rubs his hands together as he tries to figure out what to give you to eat.
“Oh no.” You groan as he spins the table around to place the pork meat jelly in front of you. Your hand reaches your lips as the strong scent of the meat fills your nostrils.
“Oh my gosh.” You suppress a gag as Tom picks the card up and laughs as he reads the question.
“You’ve worked with multiple famous co-stars before in movies. Rate the co-stars you’ve worked with from hottest to least hot: Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, and Tom Holland.”
You open your mouth to speak but quickly shut it as Tom sets the card down with a light giggle.
“There’s no way I can rate them.” You gasp resting your hand against the table staring at the pork jelly.
“Is this even edible?” You question the dish as you poke at it with the fork. You hate pork meat, and the idea of answering the question sounds more appealing than this.
“Yes it is.” James laughs as he watches your hesitation.
“Ugh fuck, umm.” You uncomfortably laugh, fidgeting with your sleeves.
“Okay, the hottest will have to be...” You trail off staring at Tom who smirks, puffing his chest out waiting to hear your response. “Gosh I work with these people! It’s so weird.” You laugh staring at the jiggling meat in front of you. The fork is now dangerously close to the dish, your fingers wrapped around the metal ready to slice it.
“Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, and, sorry bud, Tom Holland. There I said it!” The fork clinks against the plate as you conceal your blushing face with your hands.
“Why am I last? Sebastian is always pranking you!” Tom asks feeling offended with your response. James laughs as Tom leans towards you wanting to know why you chose him last.
“Because you’re annoying and I know you better than the other two.” You shrug turning the table to give him the bull penis.
“So Tom,” You laugh as you read the question before reading it out to him. “Rate best to worst on screen kiss: Zendaya and Y/N.” You cover your mouth with the card trying to stifle your laugh as his cheeks burn a rosy red. He stares at the bull penis as if his life depends on it.
Without a single word he reaches over and grabs the bulls penis with the tip of his fingers. James is laughing his head off as he watches Tom hesitate to place the penis inside his mouth.
Tom glances at you from the corner of his eyes before placing the entire thing in his mouth. You almost gag as he begins to chew it. Tom fists his hand against his lips as he suppresses a gag. You laugh as you lean down to reach for the spit bucket to hand to him. Tom waves his hand as a thanks before spitting out the substance into the metal bin. He’s quick to rinse his mouth out with the glass of water sitting beside him.
Tom shakes his head as he sits up straight to stare back at the camera. James continues to laugh at Tom’s misfortune and so does the crowd.
The games soon comes to an end after this and the two of you wave off to the cameras. Once backstage you unhook the mic from your clothes and change into a pair of sweats and a hoodie. The make-up now off your face and your hair up into a messy bun.
“Car’s here.” Your security guard announces as you scroll through your phone.
“Alright, is Tom ready?” You question as you walk over to the door with your bag resting on your shoulder.
“Yeah, he’s on his way down.” The guard mumbles just as Tom’s warm laugh fills the halls. You smile immediately upon seeing him looking cozy in his hoodie.
“Ready to go?” You ask as you reach Harrison and him. Tom turns to look at you and gives you a curt nod. You furrow your brows in confusion and turn to Harrison for some clarification. All he does is shrug not knowing what got into his best mate’s attitude.
The walk to the car was unusually quiet. Despite him being at odds with you Tom still opens the door for you and gives you the window seat beside him. The only difference is that instead of him cuddling up beside you he tilts his legs away from you and pops his headphones in leaning his head on Harrison’s shoulder.
You pull your phone out and text Harrison:
Y/N: Hey, whats with Tom?
Harrison’s phone vibrates against his hand.
Harrison: Don’t know he won’t tell me why. What questions did you get during the show?
Y/N: I told them about my first impression about him and rating my co-stars.
Harrison shrugs so you lean back into your seat trying to poke your brain to figure out where Tom’s attitude shifted during the show. It didn’t help that you were feeling drowsy from doing press all day long, all the memories meshed together into one. You shut your phone off and allow him to pout like a child.
When your eyes flutter open again you realize that your body is no longer sitting upright, but is now melting into the soft mattress of someone’s bed. The warm scent of cologne fills your nose as you squeeze at the pillow allowing you to know exactly where you were. You open your eyes to see the sheets beside you still perfectly tucked in, but you don’t think much about it.
You smile to yourself as you get up and stretch your exhausted limbs. Your feet hit the freezing hardwood floor sending a shiver down your spine. The soft patter of your feet against the floor fills the room as you venture out towards the living room. Your eyebrows furrow at the silence of the home. The clock resting on the wall gave you the perfect explanation as the hour hand read 6 and the minute hand read 23. The sun is barely peeking through illuminating only small sections of the home.
The sudden noise of pans hitting each other startles you. You didn’t think anyone would be awake from how silent the home is. The familiar mumble of curses allows you to establish who is wandering around in the kitchen even before you step food inside of it.
“Babe, what are you doing up at this hour?” You wrap your arms around your body as the chilly morning air from the half opened window blows against your skin.
“Couldn’t sleep.” He mumbles as he sets the tea kettle on the stove. His eyes avoid you as he wanders about grabbing the tea bags and mugs. You stare at him with curiosity as his bottom lips slightly juts out and his hair looks obnoxiously messy.
“Tom, what’s wrong?” You break the awkward silence between the two of you. Tom shakes his head, pursing his lips together. “Nothing is wrong. Just tired is all.”
“Bullshit.” You sigh running your hand through your tangled hair. Your mind races through moments prior to his shift in mood. The questions were all innocent so you didn’t think much about them.
The tea kettle blares through the kitchen like an alarm jolting you awake. You hear footsteps nearing the two of you in the kitchen and soon a disheveled Harry emerges inside the room.
“Why?” He mumbles through half opened eyes as Tom rushes to turn to fire off the stove to silence the loud kettle.
“Sorry.” He mumbles as he places the bright red kettle on the cooler side of the stove.
“Your brother won’t tell me why he’s mad at me. Do you have any idea as to why?” Harry looks over at you with hooded eyes allowing you to catch the slow eye roll he gives to his brother.
“Y/N, stop. Harry don’t.” Tom sighs as he pours the boiling water into the mugs. His back flexes as he pushes the tea bags inside of the boiling water to allow it to flavor the water.
“For fucks sake. Tom’s mad because you didn’t pick him first for hottest vs least hot. Now shut up and please go to bed.” Harry storms back into his room, slamming the door behind him in the process. You don’t blame him as neither of you have gotten a decent nights sleep since the movie premier.
Your arms cross against your chest as you stare at Tom’s back as he avoids any eye contact with you.
“Tom is that true?” You question him trying to stifle back a laugh.
“What?” He feigns knowledge to what you have just found out. He sets the kettle inside the sink. You smile at the man standing in front of you, and making your way over towards him.
Tom tenses at the sudden contact of a cold skin against his warm one. You feel him melt against you when the soft of your lips press against his back. Your hands rest on his abdomen feeling the way it rises and falls with every steady breath.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but if I would’ve chosen you rumors would spark about us and I thought we both had the mutual agreement that we would keep this on the down low.” You explain yourself. “I will always chose you first in any other situation and I hope you know that.”
Tom sighs feeling a bit childish over the jealousy he feels over his own co-stars. He knows you’ve worked with them in separate films, and have different relationships with them all; platonic ones. This is an opportunity for him to be a bigger person, and he was going to take it.
“I know, and I’m sorry for acting childish about the whole thing.” He finally turns to look at you, a sheepish expression on his features. “But honestly it did hurt my feelings that you chose them. Which I know is stupid, but I can’t help it when they’re them and well I’m...me.”
You stare at the vulnerable man standing in front of you messing with the tea bags inside his, ironically, Captain America Marvel mug. His shoulders slump forward as his bare feet shuffle against the cold hardwood floor. The sweats adorning his hips hang perfectly against his hip bone with the white string tightly formed into an uneven bow tie. The sun now casts a morning glow against his tan skin and turning his natural brown hair into a hidden red shade.
“Oh Tom,” You sigh walking over towards him, arms wide open embracing his naked torso with your bare arms. Your lips press a comforting kiss against his shoulder blade as your forehead rests on the top of his shoulder.
“You’re not stupid for feeling this way. I’m happy that you feel comfortable enough with me to tell me how you’re feeling. I’d rather have the ‘I’m me’ than the ‘them’ because the ‘me’ I have is all I ever dreamt when I think about my best friend and lover. I will always pick you first Tom.” You press a sweet kiss to his shoulder before uttering the three words dancing on the tip of your tongue for the past few days. “I love you Tom.”
You feel his lungs stop producing air as his skin flushes a new shade of red. Your arms unlatch from his body as he flips around to face you.
His eyes connect to yours almost instantly. He studies your wide eyed gaze as he tries to form sentences in his foggy mind. Those three words have never been uttered by either one. Despite being together for over 4 months neither one has really felt the need to speak them as the other would feel it with the simple gestures done towards one another. Neither one questioned each others love, so there felt no need to verbally speak the words. Hearing them now felt foreign to Tom’s ears, but the flutter in his heart let him know that it was a good thing.
“I love you too, Y/N.” The smile on your face shines brighter than the sun blaring up into the LA sky. You giggle as Tom wiggles his arms onto your waist, pulling you closer to his warm body.
“I love you.” He whispers once more before pressing his thin, soft lips against your own lips. They both move in a sensual way, his tongue hinting off the strong taste of his tea. Your hands rest against his soft, toned skin loving the feeling of his heartbeat against the palm of your right hand. He leans his forehead against yours as the two of you race to refill your lungs with oxygen.
Both staring into each others eyes felt like the first time the two of you met on set many months ago. It felt new and exciting; all the butterflies swarming all throughout your chest and stomach.
And in that moment the sun glaring through the window felt like a comforting hug from the universe letting you know that everything is going to be alright.
This came to me as I worked on my hw. Couldn’t resist the need to procrastinate and write it out.
Warning (s): Short / Angsty
MASTERLIST
*tick* *tick*
The second hand sings into the silence surrounding the large room that seems to be growing smaller. He sits across from you, hand around the fork, twirling it around not even bothering to ingest it. Your leg bounces underneath the table as your heart races against your chest. Sweat drips down your back as your skin turns pink with the anxiety coursing through your veins as if you drank three Bangs in one sitting.
“I slept with him.”
*clink*
You jump at the sudden crash of utensil to plate. He keeps his eyes on the plate, jaw unclenching and clenching together. His hands rests beside the plate, fisting together showing off the whites of his knuckles.
“I know.”
His voices sounds breathy, as if he were still processing the news spoken to him. The vein in his neck pulsates as the skin around it turns a fiery red. The uneven breathing make his nostrils flare, eyebrows furrowed together leading you to believe he is deep in thought.
“I’m so sorry, Shawn.” Hot, wet droplets drip down your blotchy skin. Shawn glances up at you. His first instinct upon seeing you in such a state is to reach over and pull you into his arms. Comforting words would ease out of his lips before allowing silence to wash over to let your emotions flow naturally into a calm. He feels your knee brushing against the wooden table as you shake uncontrollably.
He almost feels bad for you, almost.
Instead, his palms rest against the wood of the table pushing himself away. The scraping of the chair against the hardwood brings out an uncomfortable grimace from you. Shawn knows how you detest the sound of chairs scraping against the floors just as much as he hates liars.
“Shawn, please talk to me.” You pathetically run after him.
His shoulders slump over allowing his hair to fall over his eyes. He feels as if he’s floating like a cloud in the sky. His feet barely touching the ground, while his mind has no recognition as to how he got into the bedroom.
“Shawn say something please.”
He’s unsure as to what you want him to say. Heck, you’re not even sure what you want him to say. All you know is that you feel a panicked that he isn’t giving you a valid reaction. At least a reaction that you think is valid. Shawn thinks he is responding reasonably by grabbing his duffle bag and stuffing it with his clothes, perfume, and necessities.
“Shawn.” Your voice no longer feels like french vanilla in his coffee. Now all he feels are thousands of needles piercing through his eardrum leaving him deaf to the tone. What once was his muse is now the venom coursing through his veins.
He finally cracks.
“What do you want me to say Y/N? Huh? What do you possible think I would say? Do you expect an apology? Do you expect for me to forgive you? What is it!” He towers over you, your body scrunches together as you take a step back. Your mouth goes dry as anger, fear, regret, and sadness flash through your body like Lightening McQueen on the race track.
“No.” You breath out terrified of speaking more in fear that he would crack into a Shawn you didn’t want to encounter. Not that he would ever hit you physically, but his verbal blows did do some harm. Shawn sees the fear in your eyes just from his simple burst of anger, so he turns back to his bag and zips it up.
“You made your decision the second you lied in bed with someone else. I’m not about to stay here and expect myself to always be okay with this.” With those last words to you he marches out the door leaving you wide eyed and broken.
You don’t bother to chase him. The heels of your feet glue to the rug inside the bedroom as hot droplets run down your face. Your body shakes as your face contours into a painful expression.
*ring*
You jolt as the loud blare of the familiar ringtone echos against all the walls of the apartment. You tug your feet off of the floor.
The home feels colder then usual as you make way to the kitchen. Your hands wrap around your arm as you continue to sob into the emptiness of the home. Through blurry tears you pick the phone up and almost scream at the name running across the screen.
Your knees finally give out from the pressure of your shattering heart. The cold floor feels welcoming as your cheek rests on the cool of it. The palm of your hand slaps the floor not giving a care for those underneath you. The strangled noises leave them to believe that you are most likely having fun with your boyfriend.
Little do they know that you are shattering into speckles of glass on the ground; beyond repair.
i was wondering if you could do a thing with cal, where the reader is small in stature and he‘s always playfully making fun of her height, and always carrying her around. but it ends fluffy? i’m sorry i hope that makes sense thank you sm :)
Shortcake // C.H Imagine
Hope you like it!
Feedback would be nice xx
Warning (s): Literally just pure fluff
MASTERLIST
“Hey shortcake.” His large hands reaches up to ruffle your perfectly set hair earning a swat on the arm from you. Calum laughs pulling you into his chest to smother you into a tight hug. Usually you relish in the sweet scent of his cologne but at this very moment your forehead is resting right on his nipple and your nose smooshed against the tip of his ribs.
“Babe come on we have to finish unloading the boxes.” You laugh as you push yourself off of him. Calum groans at the sound of having to unload the truck with both of your belongings.
“Do we have to?” He asks with a pout on his face.
“Yes, now come on rock star. Let’s get you to do some normal people shit.” You tease him. Calum lets out an exaggerated sigh before following close behind you.
“If we stick to this we might be done in 30 minutes to an hour max.” You try to look at the bright side as you stare at the never ending pile of boxes littering the living room floor, to a point that the hardwood floor is far from visible.
“Maybe 2.”
The two of you run around the house setting the boxes inside their designated rooms ensuring that everything is in place before ripping them open. You start with the kitchen while Calum sets up the bedroom. The first box you remove the tape from are the utensils, pots, and pans. All of those belong in the lower cabinets and in the mini pantry that the house came with.
Next where the cups, plates, and bowls. You knew the houses cupboards were slightly higher than your old apartments, which meant it would be harder for you to reach to put things in. You stand back for a bit thinking of a solution to your problem. That’s when you just decide to jump on the counters and disinfect them after.
Calum stands back admiring the work he has done in the room and smiles smugly to himself. He knows you’re going to rearrange things by the end of the week, so he soaks in his own decor for a few seconds before heading out to see what you want for dinner.
You’re deep into setting the mugs perfectly inside the cupboard to notice Calum standing behind you watching as you kneel on the counter. He can’t help but chuckle as you shuffle back and forth from the box and the cupboard shelves.
“Shorty a lil baddie, shorty my lil boo thing,” Calum recites as he approaches you from behind.
“You did not just sing that song,” You giggle as he digs his hands into the box to hand you the last of the mugs. Calum smiles mischievously at you as he disassembles the box to set it with the others in the living room.
“And shorty got the fatty,” You feel a warmth against your butt as he passes by causing you to almost fall and bump your head against the wooden shelf.
“Calum!” You huff at your boyfriend.
“Shorty be catching mood swings.” He snickers from the kitchen island.
“I swear to- Calum!” You exclaim as he picks you up with one swift lift over his shoulders.
“Put me down,” You tap his back feeling a bit like Fiona from Shrek as he hoists you over his shoulders. Calum laughs as you pinch his ass in hopes that he would let you go to finish sorting out the last of the kitchen boxes.
“Sweetheart I know I got a fatty too, but if you pinch it one more time I swear I will drop you on this floor.” He threatens, but you know he’s all talk so you go ahead and pinch his ass one last time.
“Alright I warned you,” He lets out an exaggerated sigh as you pulls you over his shoulder and throws you down onto a soft material; your bed.
You giggle as he plops himself right beside you making you jump into the air for a split second before everything falls still. The two of you turn to stare into one another’s eyes with large smiles on both of your faces.
Neither one thought that you two would ever share such a life event together, but here the two of you were moved in together. Both of your names on the lease with two copies of the same key to the same house. Calum grabs your hand in his lightly grazing his thumb over the back of your hand casting a chill down your spine.
“I love you,” He whispers as if you two weren’t the only ones in the home.
“I love you too,” Your nose scrunches up as he leans down to press a chaste kiss on your forehead. He gives your nose a sweet butterfly kiss before pressing a sweet kiss onto your lips. Your hand rests on the soft of his jaw pulling him in deeper into the kiss. You sigh into his mouth feeling extremely content with how your life with him is.
The soft sound of a little paw scratching at the blanket hanging over the mattress pulls the two of you away from your intimate moment. Calum laughs as he turns his head around to stare at Duke sitting on his butt waiting for his owner to pay him attention.
“I love you too Duke.” He coos as he leans over to lift the small pup into the bed with the two of you. Duke barks happily as he cuddles in the middle of the both of you loving the way you scratch at his ear while Calum rubs his back.
“I’m so happy we decided to do this.” Calum smiles lying on his stomach, perching his head on the palm of his hands.
“I’m happy you finally asked,” You tease at your boyfriend who playfully rolls his eyes. The moment gets cut short as Calum’s phone rings with Luke’s special ringtone.
“Luke just sent me a text message to let me know that he’s here.” Calum pushes himself off of the bed disrupting the snoozing Duke earning a low growl from the pup.
“Sheesh looks like this shorty also has mood swings.” He mumbles not thinking that you would hear his little jab at you.
“Calum!” You laugh as you throw one of the decorative pillows on your bed at his head.
“I can’t help myself. Now come on I’m sure Luke brought us food and I’m starved.” He rests his hand on his tummy to make a point. You shake your head at your boyfriend.
“I’m so tired.” You sigh not wanting to get up from your bed that felt like a cotton candy; soft and melting at the touch.
“I have a solution to that.” Calum smiles walking over to you. “I’ll give you a piggy back ride.” You turn to look at his crouched down position before shrugging your shoulders and taking him up on his offer.
‘Don’t get used to this Cal,” You giggle into his ear as he stands up resting his hands on the bottom of your butt to secure your safety.
“I have a feeling I’ll be doing this a lot short stack.”
Hi! I would love to follow more blogs that write or that repost imagines they love! You can suggest accounts in the comments or like this for me to follow you! It can be for Tom Holland, 5sos, the Dolan Twins, or Shawn Mendes (:
cause when i was reading it i was like ?? did i miss something
So sorry for the confusion! I didn’t realize the chapter was all over the place, but the next part should sort of clarify things (: might upload it later 🤭
Hey love ❤ I'm a big fan of your work. I have a request. So we all know cal doesn't trust love. So where reader and cal are friends and she has trust issues too. But they love each other. So everytime they get close they run away or argue. I would like it more if you finish it in a cute way. I love you. Hope you'll like this request. Stay safe 💛
Trust Issues // C.H Imagine
Aww thank you! Hope you like what I wrote! Stay safe as well (:
Wrote this as I procrastinate all my school work haha College is really kicking my ass right now. (Also the gif at the end lowkey reminds me of calum but without the tattoo’s haha)
Feedback would be nice xx
MASTERLIST
“Dude seriously get the fuck off of me,” You laugh as your best friend topples on top of you the second he spots you lying on the couch. He laughs as he feels your hands up against his chest in a poor attempt of shoving him off.
“No you’re comfy.” He snuggles deeper into your neck loving how easily he can annoy you. You huff as you pry your hands out from underneath him and rest them on his back. You mess with the hood of his green hoodie while your lungs feel like all the air has been vacuumed out of you.
“You smell good,” His cheek squish against your chest, obnoxiously inhaling to make a point of his statement.
“Thanks would say the same to you but you reek of sweat.” You scrunch up your nose as realize his hair dripping with tiny droplets.
“Gross,” You finally manage to push him off letting him fall onto the floor with a ‘ompf’
“Uh fuck you Y/N.” He groans as he rubs his throbbing head.
“You wish.” You joke poking your tongue out at your best friend. Calum laughs at your comment as he gets up from the couch.
I wish
He shakes the thought out of his head as he lifts your legs up and rests them on his own lap. You grab your phone again to scroll through your endless amount of work emails you have zero interest in at the moment. Calum stares to rub at your calf with one hand while the other holds his phone close to his face. His rough fingers rub against the soft skin adorning your body relaxing your body into a pile of mush. You silently thank yourself for deciding to shave this morning.
“Hold the phone any closer and you might fall in it.” You tease trying to ignore the loud beating of your heart as he glances over to you with a playful glare.
“Oh you’re so getting it this time.” He threatens as he throws his phone beside him and flips his body to hover over you.
“What are you-Calum stop!” You blurt out in fits of giggles as his fingers dig into your sides. Your legs flail behind him as your hands try to desperately pry his fingers off of your body, but his grip is much stronger than yours. Calum’s curls tickle at your nose as he leans down with a bright smile on his face loving the way the skin of your cheeks flush as laughter escapes your soft lips.
Calum adores the way you try to pry his hands off with your smaller ones. The way they barely wrap around his wrist grows his heart ten times it size with the fondness it holds for you.
He finally does stop digging his fingers into your skin, face hovering over you honey dripping eyes matching yours. The two of you stare at one another, your breath fanning his face as you pant from lack of air.
“You prick.” You jokingly whisper as his nose lightly brushes against yours. Your eyes flutter shut at the simple gesture; one you dream about always when he isn’t around. Calum feels the softness of your skin with just the tip of his nose, loving the way they fit perfectly together. The way your natural lashes fall against your cheek, almost fanning the pink shade of your cheeks, makes his skin crawl with nerves.
His tongue swipes over his lips as his eyes trail down to your pouty lips. He craves your taste; the fear inside his chest keeps him from ever putting them onto your lips. This time he isn’t sure what overcomes him, but before he knows it he’s hesitantly ghosting his slightly rough lips onto yours.
Upon feeling this your heart speeds up against your chest. If this were a cartoon it would surly be flying out of your chest. Your hands continue to lie beside you while his now hold him up by the side of your head, lightly brushing at your hair.
“Kiss me Calum.” Your lips whisper against his, urging him to make a move. Calum’s breath hitches at his throat as he hears you whisper a command to him. That’s when his flight or fight mode activates. His breathing grows ragged while his palms grow sweaty causing him to nearly slide off the couch. He removes himself from your body, rushing the find his things to leave.
Your eyes open at the sudden breeze you feel as he runs around grabbing his keys and hoodie. You stare at him dumbfounded with embarrassment coursing at your veins as he speed walks to the door.
“Calum!” You yell after him, feet hitting the ground to follow the man shaking in his skin. Calum doesn’t hear you scream for him, the pounding in his ears intensifying with every step he takes.
“Calum wait!” He disappears behind the door leaving you there in the middle of your hallway.
“Ugh!’ You rub your hands over your face as frustration fills your blood. Calum and you have gotten close to kissing before, but it always ends the same way. He either runs away or you push him away. The two of you know the other isn’t ready for a relationship, or more like neither one believes love is real.
Relationships in both of your lives have always ended up horribly. Whether it be that the other person slept with someone else, or they just didn’t see themselves with you any longer. Unsuccessful love is what the two of you bonded on the first time you met. It isn’t a great topic to talk about upon meeting someone, but at the time the two of you were both getting through an odious breakup.
You are exhausted with this game of never cat and mouse chase. At times you weren’t sure if you were the mouse or the cat; neither one has a solid position with either.
The next day the two of you were set to go out to brunch with the boys and their significant others. You aren’t sure how Calum will feel with your presence, but you get up to get ready to leave. You’re about halfway done with you hear your phone go off in the other room. The curling iron around your hair holds you back from rushing to the phone, so as you go to set it on the sink counter the room falls silent once again. You hold the curl in your hand as you rush towards your nightstand to see who it is that needs you at this time.
1 Missed Call
Cal (:
You drop your hand to your side, sliding your other thumb over the screen returning the call almost immediately. It rings and rings and rings until finally the short bark of Duke and Calum shuffling about in his house (possibly feeding Duke) fills your ears.
“Hello?” You set the phone on the counter hitting speaker before grabbing the hot curler to continue getting ready.
“Hey, are you almost ready for brunch?” Typical. He’s acting like nothing happened last night.
“Yeah, I’ll be done in like 25 minutes. You don’t have to pick me up though. I can call an Uber.” You stare at your reflection in the mirror inspecting your eyebrows and deciding that they need a trim. “Maybe 30.” You mumble to yourself as you drop the new curl.
“Nonsense. I’ll be there in 30 minutes then. The boys are almost on their way there so we’ll just be a bit late.” He shrugs as he pours Duke a fresh bowl of water.
“Alright, I’ll see you then.” You turn the curler off. The dial tone fills the room.
Thirty minutes fly by and as promised Calum makes his presence known by shoot you a text. You ruffle your hair one last time before grabbing your purse and exiting your home. You make sure the door is shut and locked behind you before descending down the stairs to where your best friend is typing away at his phone probably texting his newest conquest of the week.
“Who you fucking this week?” You blurt out as soon as you open the car door, such a gentlemen he is.
“Fuck off.” He laughs setting his phone back down in the cupholder. You smile at him before going onto your own phone to respond back to emails and dm’s.
“Busy work day today?” He asks turning the blinker on to make a right.
“Yeah, after brunch I’m literally going to be consumed by work all day long.” You sigh as you hit send to an email from an employee asking you a question about the return policy.
“You’re doing great though.” He reassures you turning his head to give you a quick glance.
“Eyes on the road Hood, and thanks.” You smile as you slide your sunglasses down your face, resting your head against the headrest of your seat.
“Wake me when we get there.” You mumble as you lean the seat back to nap for at least ten minutes. Calum smiles at the view of you crossing your arms across your chest, glasses resting on the small curve of your nose, and phone lighting up every 3 seconds with a new notification. You look careless, but in reality he knows you are freaking out with stress.
You feel the car come to a stop and Calum sighing as he sees all the paparazzi surrounding the brunch place every agreed to come too. The two of you silently exit the car, heads hanging low to avoid the flashing cameras.
Upon entering the restaurant you scan the room with your sunglass covered eyes. Finally you spot Crystal’s blonde hair and make your way over to them.
“Good morning guys!” You smile brightly as you go to hug them all.
“Hi!’ They all greet you as they return your warm hug. Everyone begins to talk about the excitement of all the things to come for the band. The food comes out pretty quickly which leaves you feeling relieved because the sooner you could leave the sooner you would finish up with work.
Brunch goes smoothly, with only a couple jabs of the boys and teasing from the girls on Calum and yours relationship. The two of you would either laugh it off or shrug it off like it isn’t a big deal at all.
It isn’t until the two of you are back inside the car that the tension grows thicker. You try to fight the urge to say something, but you hate being in an awkward position with your best friend.
“Calum stop the car.” You turn to look at him, but he ignores you.
“Stop the car. We need to talk.” Your eyes burn into the side of his head as he turns his signal on to let the others know he’s getting off the highway. You stare out the window wondering where he is going to park the car. He soon pulls up into a random park near a bunch of trees secluding the two of you from the public eye. You aren’t sure how he know where to go, but you were thankful no one will spot the two of you.
“What’s up?” He asks staring out the window growing captivated by a bird building up its nest.
“Calum you know what’s up.” You notice Calum’s eyes shift from the bird to the ground where a squirrel fights to open up a nut.
“What are we doing Calum?” Your voice soft, fear peaking through as you finally ask the question the two of you have been keeping to yourselves for the past few months.
“I don’t know.” His reply breathy as his hands grow sweaty at the idea of finally confessing his true feelings to you.
“Why do we run away from each other all the time.” You lean back into your seat as you pick at the fresh polish on your nails, a habit you hate having.
“What’s the point of being friends if we can’t even be honest with one another on how we feel.” You sigh reaching for your phone that won’t stop vibrating inside your purse. Calum remains silent as he waits for you to shut your phone off completely.
“I’m not sure.” This answer only adds to your aggravation towards the man beside you.
“Well I do Calum.” You huff as you turn your head to look at Calum who’s hands slide up and down his jeans as his left leg shakes the entire car. “I’m scared of commitment just as much as you are Calum. I’ve been fucked over more times than I’d like to admit. You know this and I know this. We’ve both been in shitty relationships that ruined all perception of love for us. But for some reason my heart grows for you. I get nervous around you. Gosh this morning I spent 20 minutes trying to figure out what to wear because every time I put something on I kept questioning whether or not you would like how I looked. Calum every time you call me or text me it makes my shitty days so much better. Even if it’s just a simple gif or a picture of Duke just lying there. It lets me know that you are thinking about me and gives me this sliver of hope that you might feel the same way about me. But then you go around and do the opposite leaving me with a feeling of doubt. I hate that I feel this way Calum because I know it’s only going to end in disappointment.” You are left gasping for air as you finish pouring at your thoughts to the man tapping his finger against the steering wheel.
Tears glide down your face as you feel an overwhelming feeling of relief from finally having let all that out. The eerie silence in the car (not counting the blaring A/C) fills the car as an unsettling tension suffocates you.
“Fine, you know what I’m done.” You give in to defeat grabbing your purse and prepping your phone to call an Uber or a friend to give you a lift. Your hands wrap around the handle of the car automatically unlocking the doors with the other.
The lock beside you flips back down containing you inside the small car. You keep your back to him, staring at his reflection through the window.
“I’m just as scared as you Y/N. I hate getting my heartbroken and having to go through the whole cycle again and again only for it to end up the same way. We both bonded over how our lifestyles always ruin our relationships. We go months without seeing each other and we both know how long distance relationships have gone for us in the past.” All you hear are excuses.
“Exactly.” You run your fingers through your hair. “We know how it is to be in a long distance relationship. We understand our work schedules sometimes clash and we won’t get to see enough of each other for weeks or months on end. That’s something our previous partners didn’t get. They didn’t get the long hours we put into our careers. They didn’t get that time-zones are a thing. They didn’t get that we pour our hearts and souls into our careers, but also into them so when they leave we feel more broken than before. I get it Calum. I really do.” Your soft gaze meets his glassy eyes. He stares at you at a loss for words as his brain tries to process all of his thoughts.
He knows what you say is all true. The two of you have a better grasp at how to make a long distance relationship work. The thumbing in his head keeps him from thinking rationally at all. His tongue feels glued to the roof of his mouth, teeth drilled shut. He feels your eyes are burning into his soul leaving a whole in his chest.
“I don’t want to lose you as a friend and if that’s the only way I can have you in my life then I hope this is not going to ruin our friendship.” The tip of your nose burning from the rough material of your sweater.
“Y/N,” Calum finally manages to unglue his tongue from the roof of his mouth. You stare at him expectantly waiting for him to finally give you an answer. He isn’t sure how to voice his thoughts. He isn’t one to really speak about his emotions or put them out for others to hear. He’s the type to show people he cares rather than saying it.
At this point the two of you are sitting with your front facing one another, the seatbelt long forgotten against the seat. Calum’s eyes scan you face as he contemplates his next actions. He thinks them through again and again, weighing out all the pros and cons. His decisions are never rash, so when he finally gets the courage to put himself out there you know he knows exactly what he is choosing.
Your eyes flutter shut as the sudden warmth of his lips on yours. The saltiness of your tears with the sweetness of his lips mesh together perfectly. It’s almost as if you were setting the last piece to a 10,000 piece puzzle, with triumph glistening in your eyes. Your shaking hand rests on the curve of his jaw with your thumb gently rubbing the stubble adorning his cheeks. The roughness of his growing moustache tickles your nose. The gentle swipe of Calum’s tongue against yours pulls a gentle gasp from your lungs. The way his hand rests on your arm, holding you in such a sweet way breaks the normal rhythm of your heart.
The moment breaks when your lungs burn for the need of oxygen. With disdain you pull away from the plump lips you crave like nicotine. He leans his forehead against yours wanting to feel your skin against his for as long as he could. You were his addiction, and only now is he able to admit it to himself. The two of you smile as your eyes stare into the depth of the others soul. Calum’s calloused fingers dance along the hem of your sleeve as a romantic silence falls between the two of you.
“I want to make this work Calum.” You’re the first to break the silence. Calum looks down at the cupholder as he takes his time to form his words.
“We will make this work Y/N.” His words are like honey dripping from a pot; smooth and thick with raw emotion. The smile on your face casts a stinging sensation on your cheeks from how wide it is. Calum admires the way your skin tints pink with a glow of joy.
“So...what does this make us?” You nervously chew on your bottom lip.
“Well if you promise not to break my heart then I’d love for you to be my girlfriend.” He smiles sheepishly as you can’t help but giggle.
“I’d love for you to be my boyfriend if you promise me the same thing.” You both have honesty with a tinge of humor swimming in your eyes.
“Guess we both have a promise to keep huh.” He smiles showing off his coffee stained teeth and the small poke of his tongue between his row of teeth.
“Guess so.” The connection of both of your lips makes you feel like you’re on cloud nine. An overwhelming feeling that leaves you intoxicated to his touch.
“Come let’s go because I have some work to do, and you have a studio session later today.” You remind him, pecking his lips once more before swiping away the lipstick staining his lips.
“Alright.” He smiles putting the car into reverse out of the parks parking lot.
Before the two of you even exit to get on the main street you feel Calum’s hand slither down to grab your unoccupied hand with his. You can’t help but look up from your phone at the sweet gesture to smile down at the hands now resting in the middle of the car. Calum’s eyes remain on the road but the light blush and glorious smile let you know that he’s okay with this.
