so i’ll watch your life in pictures (like i used to watch you sleep)
how strange it is to see you at this stage of your life and not be there for it. i’m proud of you sweet girl, you know i am. i don’t know if ill ever actually tell you that. i miss you more than i can tell you, more than i can understand. i don’t know if i want to know you. noah said it best, that if i never see you again, you can be anything i want. if i don’t reach back out, i can never know you again, i can never be there for you. you won’t be my maid of honor like we planned, and i can’t help you redo your room this time, but i can’t keep this version of you safe, even if it’s only in my head. i can lock this tiny piece of you safe away in my heart. i can protect her in the way i couldn’t protect you.
i see your pictures on instagram. green is a good colour on you. it hurts realizing how different you look now. if i saw you out, im not sure id even recognize you. how sick is that, that i wouldn’t recognize my own sister?
i love you, i miss you, and i don’t think ill ever know you again. and somehow, i think it’s for the best.
i’ll always be there for you. i’m only as far away as your phone. you know id always pick up.