((Rp starter for @dreadwing-official others please dni. Also, various Trigger Warning! TW: Self harm, suicide, attempted suicide, negative self talk, depression, bad coping mechanisms, alcohol and all the other stuff you’d expect from this plot line. Do NOT continue reading if any of these topics trigger you, please stay safe.))
[Deadend stepped into his room and let the door close behind him. His hands shook as he pulled his side of the bond away from his siblings, closing them all off. He almost lost Motormaster. He almost lost Motormaster and then made him feel like he had to apologize for it. Primus… Deadend was such a selfish bastard. He let out a half laugh half sob as he leaned against the door to his room. A stupid, selfish, cruel, unlovable bastard who should have died years ago. Who should have never been born! He laughed. Because what was there left to do? It was funny! It was a fucking comedy! He was a joke! He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to the drawer in his room. He pulled open one of the drawers with a far more aggression than was necessary. Initially, the drawer looked normal. Filled with old sketches and doodles, Deadend reached in and pulled them all out, carelessly tossing them onto the desk. Fucking idiot. You should take better care of your space. He laughed as tears dropped down his face. He reached down and pressed down on one side of the wooden bottom of the desk and it popped up. He pulled it out revealing a hidden compartment which housed two items, a bottle of engex and sharp knife. He stared at them for a moment before pulling them both out. He slammed the drawer shut and walked over to his berth. He sat down on the floor and leaned against it as he began downing the engex. He hadn’t eaten or drank anything in… frag, he didn’t know how long. He felt like shit. Good. He was a piece of shit. He deserved it. He hurt everyone around him, ruined everything a he touched. He’d broken Dreadwing’s heart when the mech had been nothing but perfect to him, he’d gone and yelled at Dragstrip when all she wanted to do was help, and now not even Motormaster wanted him around anymore! He was fucking useless! Redundant! Unwanted! He chugged more of the engex and took the blade and began to slash at his platting. It hurt. He knew it would. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this. He knew it was bad. That’s why the blade was hidden. Wilds had tried to take all his blades away from him and any blasters that could be triggered while pointed at oneself. But Dead was the worst. He was awful. So he went Ang got another knife. Because he was a piece of shit who didn’t care about anyone other than himself! Slice, slice, slice. The bottle was gone sooner than he would have liked it to be. But hey, he still had his knife. And oh, slag, that was a lot of energon on the ground, wasn’t it? And it was gushing pretty fast, huh? He dropped the knife to the ground and just stared up at the ceiling and those silly glowing stars. Was this it? He hoped so. He deserved it, after all. He focused on keeping the bond as closed down as he could. No point in worrying anybody else with his problems.]
