It’s 3:56 am right now and I still find myself thinking about you. There is nothing wrong with that, nope none at all. I’m not sure how I feel towards you, but I do know that you’re always on my mind. I miss you but I know that you aren’t the best thing for me, and honestly I think that’s what holding me back. I hate myself for it but we just can’t. Everyone says time heals and I believe it does. It still stings from time to time, and I know it will ache less with time. If I ever got the chance to, I’d hope to catch up with you, over some drinks and just talk. How have you’ve been? How’s your dad? I see your hair changed. Anything new?
No, I don’t hate you and I never did. I try to find reasons to, but there isn’t any. Whenever I’m by you, I cannot help but smile. Your presence is just so warm and comforting in itself. You radiate this feeling from within that I can’t explain, but I adore it. There’s days when all I want to do is to run into your arms into your tight embrace. I know this is selfish of me, but I still want you and whenever I feel you moving on, or with someone else, I get sad. I still replay old memories, revisit pictures and videos, and reread and over analyze text messages. It’s become a habit of mine, that I don’t think is very healthy to say the least.
It’s pretty silly how I am now because of you. I avoid you at school, but still always hope to bump into. I want to wave and greet you with a smile but can’t help but look down and act as if I’m unfazed. Whenever you do wave at me, I get all bubbly inside, thank you, thank you for still caring for me to that extent. I listen to and cherish music a lot more after you. There are songs that come up that remind me of you. I get tangled up in my feelings when it does. I dress a little more differently now too. I always hope you’d notice and think to yourself, “woah”, I’m not sure if that ever happened, but if it did..Yay!
I still wonder if we ever will work out again. If we do, I hope it will be forreals. If we don’t, I hope we are good with each other.
Lyrics that I connect to,
“I told you I'd be down forever Loving you is danger, but it don't feel wrong It’s old news, I should look for better”
“Cause I don't want another heart to fill the holes That you left under my covers for me to grow coldI don't wanna miss somebody who's not missing me But the city feels so lonely when you leave”
“I wanna be with you Love me, just love me”
Wishing you only the best
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