25TH
In my 25 years of existence, I have truly learned a lot of things. I may have not learned some of the important things yet, but I know that I have gained knowledge on how to live life maturely.
As a gay person, my journey is not as normal as a “normal” person should be where I had to hide inside my closet (even though people already knew about LOL). People will say that “It’s okay, we support and love you no matter what”, but some of them… deep inside them… they don’t accept you wholeheartedly. You will still hear something about how you owe them something just because they accepted you for being who you are. I also have experienced that after an argument with that certain person, there were words that have been said… like “YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”, “I WILL NEVER BRING THAT TO MY OWN GRAVE” and more harsh words about it. The sad part is, those words were from the people that I ever loved.
I was a very fun and joyful friend, brother, and son before, but now I have been through a lot and it made me become a different person. I’m not as jolly as I have been before. It made me become that person who could be hated by someone.
I have protected people because I loved them and don’t want them to experience the things that they have experienced before, yet they felt that you became their enemy just because you’ve been meddling a lot.
There was a saying that, “people will just come and go”. I thought at first it was a joke coz I had lots of friends. Then I realized it’s true because not all of them will keep that bond.
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY
There are still people that will treasure your existence. Maybe not from a close friend, or even a family member, but from those people who were truly there for you since the day you’ve met.
I’m thankful for everyone who made me become who I am today. Every day is a challenge and this day maybe just a bit of what is coming. I just hope and pray that everything will be okay.
GOD, guide me to be a stronger person because I know that you didn't give me this life for nothing.