hey so, i followed your previous blog but only noticed it deactivated recently (apologies for that, life got busy so i wasn't keeping up as much)
i only really knew after i tried finding you on htsan's blog in all honesty
and i was initially trying to find the IJAG bot you made, but that's also gone
if you don't mind me asking, what happened? it's alright if it's personal, i dont mean to pry, and good timezone to you!
(also just wanted to say that i love your art, it makes my day everytime i see it :>)
(Long important post incoming. Mentions of grooming and suicide for those that want to avoid it, I’m really sorry to the original anon, I’m willing to bet you didn’t expect this as an answer, but it is important I say so.)
Honestly it’s probably good if I explain- I kinda wanted a fresh start with this new account but it’s getting pretty clear that’s not an option. There are a few reasons and some of them are important to me specifically.
However.
The first is not a very happy explanation.
And I’d rather be out with it now and let people pass judgment than have it hanging over my head forever.
So
Reason number 1
‼️ I am not an adult ‼️
And this is my (probably not very well-handled way) of taking responsibility for that.
I completely understand if people who are coming from my old account feel lied to or frustrated, and I will have no reservation for if anyone wants to block me for their own comfort. I became very aware after checking my old following that I had a LOT of 20/30+ people that liked my art.
But yeah, not an adult. As of 10/2/25, I’m 16, going to be 17 in August. If you don’t know a lot about me, that doesn’t seem like an especially surprising thing, however, if you had been following along with my old account enough, you know that I often praised and reblogged and made art for a lot of other ADULT artists on here. (Not necessarily nsfw, but definitely people who are over 18) Thing is, I never once expected any of them to notice my babbling, let alone for them to DM me and get more familiar with my account.
I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT EXTREMELY LOUD AND CLEAR. NONE OF THE ARTISTS I INTERACTED WITH HAVE EVER ONCE MADE ME FEEL UNSAFE OR HARASSED OR COERCED. THEY ARE LOVELY PEOPLE AND DID NOT KNOW ABOUT MY AGE, I AM THE ONE IN THE WRONG HERE FOR NOT BEING TRANSPARENT.
Now I did do a lot to avoid actively transgressing any comfort. I blocked specific tags, and I didn’t tend to message them out of the blue, cause that would be weird.
But
There were also places that I most definitely cocked up, felt ashamed, and felt too scared to address, because I know for a fact there’s adult accounts out there that have every right to be pissed with me. To be honest, I’m still scared. It’s one of the reasons that consistent posting has never been easy when I overthink everything.
Two stand out, and I’m going to be honest about them.
Number one, the april fool’s little one shot I made in reference to htsan’s series where Sans tries to contact you over the phone. Now if you know or remember that specific fanfic, Sans leaves a message for the Anomaly, talking about how much he misses them and how he imagines being intimate with them. I really loved that story, read it over frequently and cried to it frequently. And so I wanted to make something that had been rattling around in my head for a while as a way to bring more attention to it. And while I didn’t make my appreciation fic nsfw, the source fic still had clear meaning of it, and my interaction with it was very wrong.
This was an example of my previous experiences of thinking that creators wouldn’t pay attention to the things I posted (honestly stupid of me and I still don’t know what to do with the initial fanfic)
Number two, has something to do with Ikustioa, who I am very aware is someone who has the least time of anyone to deal with my bad decisions and am equally very sorry to. But it does have to do with her very well made Seeing Red fanfic, made for Aggre(g/v)ation. I’m personally still not certain if this was a small or massive transgression, but it feels too notable to ignore. The long and short of it is that I commented that I still loved it, Ikustioa made the next chapter, and quote gave me a ‘cordial nod’. Again, not her fault, she didn’t know that I shouldn’t have been there. But I still feel really bad about it, and will be going about removing what interactions I can.
Either way, and however you cut it, this comes down to me being woefully inactive with my own gods damned protection. I have since (not just since deleting my old account, I’ve been trying to be more careful and more respectful for a while) been doing more to directly avoid the adult accounts that would be rightfully angry with me if I interacted with them. Later this year I may be trying to tell these notable accounts what I did and apologising so that they know upfront, but I very recently got some rattling and sad news that I’m going to be dealing with for a few months.
Reason number 2 (less important but this is an explanation about my character.ai bots)
For character.ai specifically, a friend of mine sent me a news article not too long ago about a depressed boy that had killed himself, and evidence on his phone suggested that a c.ai bot had been giving him bad advice. I don’t know if this is real, I know no one did it on purpose, ai bots just follow a thin algorithm, they physically don’t have the capability to kill someone on purpose. It’s generation. It’s different every time, and I am fully sorry for that boy’s poor mother that had to find all of this out by herself. I took my bots off public because, though a thin likelihood, I would be sick to my stomach if someone hurt themselves or worse because of something my bots said because I couldn’t control it.
I understand that my bots also helped and calmed and made a lot of people happy, but this is not up for debate about who here isn’t getting hurt in comparison. I generally don’t trust character.ai to be responsible about how young people can access there bots. Case in point. I can, and I’m 16.
After this post is made, I’m going to have to delete my account on Janitor.ai too. I’m sorry, but with light of me being underage, I hope you understand why I can’t be on janitor for the next few years. I’m honestly now grappling with wanting to delete this tumblr account too now after I make this public. I just wanted a fresh slate to post the more longstanding ideas I had for fanfics and fanart without bothering anybody. But that’s really feeling impossible. I’m not allowed to let this go away without hurting anyone.
So, to recap. I’m 16 and was trying to make up for the adult accounts I had no right in interacting with, I’m wary of character.ai’s restrictions or lack thereof, and I’m sorry.
“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”
— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972
It’s 50 years this month since the first version of the Asexual Manifesto was written. Aces have been writing about our experiences under this name for at least half a century. We are not an internet fad.
hey! Was looking at your pinned posts. I think you need to add one more thing. This is a warning to all fellow peeps, and people who I follow, took me a while to find you again! Ever heard of ‘MAPS’?…the lgbtq+ community, or, at least a little part of it. Has constructed a new ‘sexuality’. MAPS stands for Minor Attracted Persons. They’re people who are attracted to minors. A second sexuality is..I don’t think I’ll say it directly but let’s just say it’s another ‘sexuality’ that is attracted to ‘six feet under’ type things. If you see a flag with dark reds and purples and a skull. STAY. AWAY. If you see a flag that looks like the pan flag but in multiple pastel rows. REPORT. STAY SAFE!!! Warn everyone you can <3
I really wish these genuinely ill people would stop trying to connect themselves to a community. There is a wide margin of difference between diverse love and representation, and having the horn for people/things that cannot give consent, and are not of the safe age to give consent. Love is love, not coerced love, not manipulated love, not one-sided love. Seek help.
Thank you for sharing, and, yes, any kind of person attracted to something that isn’t exclusively a Human adult that is knowingly and soberly giving consent, will be treated the same way as my other blocks. I will also be including those blogs on a warning list that I shall also attach to my pinned post.
