trapped in purgatory

Willow Carpenter / 18 / Cotard Delusions / Patient

[willowcarpenter-blog]

charlieswann‌:

“That’s a deal I can get behind!” He said with a small smile on his face as he walked back towards the cafeteria. Before he knew it he was standing beside the pot of coffee pouring his empty styrofoam cup back up again. “You want some as well?”

Willow smiled back, glad to be able to atone for her mistake. She walked silently behind Charlie fiddling this her fingers. 

“I don’t really drink coffee - well I never had coffee.” Willow replied. Her parents preferred stronger drinks and to fuel that they never bought a coffeepot so Willow had never had the chance to try it. “It smells nice though.”  she eyed the steaming pot and took a deep breath, much different then the harsh smell of alcohol.

[muse-for-the-beanboi-blog]

willowcarpenter‌:

Willows hands hung in the air, unsure what exactly to do. she didn’t want to invade this man’s space anymore than she already had but she also felt responsible. Ever since that day  Willow felt more at fault for far to many things. It was all piling up on her shoulders.

 “No, It’s was my fault and I promise to make it up to you. I could…” she trailed off then. What could a girl like her possibly have to offer a human in a mental institution. The girl shyly looked up at the boy through her lashes. “I could maybe wash that for you.”  

“I should have been paying more attention.”

Well Charlie had been through worse. The cold rain pouring down his back weeks ago, years ago… He had spilled actual HOT coffee on his shirt and trousers before. It had been a lot more painful back then. A lot of cold water and even some special ointment had been necessary to be sure it wouldn’t form a scar. 

“Again- Don’t worry dude. It’s just some coffee, not even warm so it’s totally ok!” He said with a smile. as he put the empty styrofoam cup back down. Taking a glance at the brown stain that had formed on his white shirt. IT still being damp but at least not spreading any further. With a small shrug he turned back towards the girl. “I will just throw it in the wash, it’s fine”

[willowcarpenter-blog]

Charlie assured her there was nothing to worry about still the guilt weight on Willow. even something as small as this bothered her and she knew from her dance through hell that all sins needed to be repented. “I’ll get you more coffee at least.” 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

 elliotxharper‌:

Elliot furrowed his brows slightly, not sure exactly what she meant by what she said. Protect herself from what? He was about to ask it, but stopped himself. He didn’t want to upset her… Even so, he couldn’t shake the curiosity. 

His eyes widened a bit at the thought of a surprise present. It was sudden, but he couldn’t complain. He loved presents. What kid didn’t? “Sure! What is it?” 

The girl’s eyes crinkled with a smile at Elliot’s excitement, he was truly a kid. 

“It’s in my room if you don’t mind coming along.” She said gently and started taking a step forward making sure Elliot was following. Even though Willow tried to hide what was probably pity in her eyes, even though she knew she had to treat him like any other abled body person, Willow still kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t tiring or having trouble. “Would you like me to push you, perhaps?”

The two made their way down the corridors of Brielle, passing by patients and other security guards but Willow paid them no mind. she kept her green eyes straight ahead running through her head how to make idle chitchat with Elliot. she could barely relate to most people as a kid, now as the undead she really struggled. But it was because she knew horrors this boy didn’t that she wanted to protect him.

Finally the two arrived at room 402. “This is my place,” she said to Elliot opening the door and holding it open for him to wheel in, “I share it with someone else but I know she isn’t here.” 

Inside was pretty barren, save for the usual beds and dresser, only a few colorful posters dotted the walls on Willow’s side and a white trunk at the end of Willow’s bed.

Willow kneeled in front of the trunk happily already able feeling a warm aura coming from within. “Now this won’t be a toy or anything like that. You have to be very careful with it.” She told him and pulled out three long candlesticks. one green, the other black, and the third was royal blue. Candles were the tamest item she carried, not the most glamorous or fun in the eyes of a little boy but they deserved respect as much as her wands and chalices. 

She handed them each to Elliott making sure he had a good grip on them before speaking again. “Pick whichever one calls to you the most and it’s yours. I’ll tell you what it means as well.”

[willowcarpenter-blog]

elliotxharper‌:

“I guess.” He said with a small shrug. “But you seem smart…—like you know a lot, so you probably know more than me.” He let out a nervous chuckle as he gripped the arm rest on his wheelchair. For the mot part, Elliot always assumed like everyone knew more than he did. It wasn’t like he thought he was stupid or anything, he just always felt like there was some secret that everybody knew except him. He couldn’t explain it fully, partially since he didn’t even know what he felt.

Willow let out a little chuckle herself then, “I guess you could say that. There’s quite a lot I know and I know it’s best to protect yourself.” She hesitated for a moment and wondered if she should bring this up at all. She had put her Wiccan past behind her but still there was still smaller, more white magic she often performed for various reasons and she wanted to share that with Elliot.

The girl bite her lip as she glanced down at the small boy clutching the arm of his wheelchair and a wave of sorrow washed over her. What could this boy have possibly gone through?

“Hey, I know this is sudden but would you like a little present?” She asked. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

lucasmallory‌:

“Nice to meet you, too, Willow,” Lucas smiled back at the young woman, “That’s a pretty name.” At her question, though, he shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t really know. I usually just watch whatever someone else puts on.” 

He glanced over at the other couch to see the remote was abandoned there among the cushions. Standing, the man walked over to take it and held it out to the redhead, “Care to choose for the both of us? Just, please- no reruns of Law and Order.” Lucas chuckled softly. 

Willow’s usual pale face erupted in a red blush as Lucas complimented her name. She certainly wasn’t use to that at all, the girl was more use to people jokingly saying her name fit her personality. Hell, even her mother had named her Willow because her eyes were apparently very big and sad looking when she was a baby. To have someone say she just had a pretty name felt nice.

Lucas stood and again Willow found herself admiring his physique. ‘he must really work out,’ she thought. Lucas could snap her tall, gangling body like a twig if he wanted. 

He handed her the black remote, giving her the chance to pick what they watched. Alarms sounded in her head as she quickly panicked over what to pick. what if he hates her choice? would he would think she was weird!?

Willow hesitantly took the remote and clicked through the channels purposely past Law and Order as requested with a giggle, “I guess once you’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all.” She said.

she watched his face for any signs of wanting to watch whatever sports or game show came up and she was nearing the end of the channel listing until landing on a documentary about Ancient Greece and her eyes lit up. “Do you mind if I see this? I really like history.”

[willowcarpenter-blog]

charlieswann‌:

It was almost like she didn’t even notice him. Or maybe she sincerely didn’t…! Anyhow, Charlie stood beside her. His back against the wall as he was staring outside, maybe she had spotted something he had not just yet. At least they hadn’t bothered to decorate the garden with any kind of Christmas lights. It took his mind off at least a little bit. 

The way the girl spun around all of the sudden. Facing him. No~ Walking into him! It was so sudden he couldn’t even prevent any of it. His shirt soaked in lukewarm coffee. Surprise on his face as she started talking. 

“N-No- Don’t worry. Totally my fault.” He said dabbing at the stains that were forming on his shirt. 

Willows hands hung in the air, unsure what exactly to do. she didn’t want to invade this man’s space anymore than she already had but she also felt responsible. Ever since that day  Willow felt more at fault for far to many things. It was all piling up on her shoulders.

 “No, It’s was my fault and I promise to make it up to you. I could...” she trailed off then. What could a girl like her possibly have to offer a human in a mental institution. The girl shyly looked up at the boy through her lashes. “I could maybe wash that for you.”  

“I should have been paying more attention.”

[willowcarpenter-blog]

sophiexquinn‌:

Sophie sat a table sketching the redheaded patient in front of her. Perhaps it was weird of her to draw a stranger without them knowing, but she was being so perfectly still. She really wished she was able to have more colored pencils, but she was lucky for getting to use any colored pencils at all. Apparently the tips were too sharp for patients to use them unsupervised or some bullshit like that. Thankfully since she was in a public area- where staff members already were watching all of the patient’s ever move, she was able to get her hands on two colored pencils. A red and a blue… It wasn’t much, but she was able to lay in detail and shadows- using the red for most of it, and the blue for the really intense shadows to add contrast to the drawing. 

Her concentration was broken when Sophie accidentally knocked the blue colored pencil off of the table, making a noise as it hit the ground and rolled towards the other girl. “Shit…–sorry. Do you mind getting that?” She knew making the other girl get the pencil would cause her to move, but Sophie was already just about finished with the drawing.

Willow blinked as a little clink sounded to her right and her green eyes glided to the floor where a blue colored pencil rolled toward her feet. Silently, she leaned down to picked up the pencil. Where did this come from? She wondered until a girl maybe a few years younger than her swore and asked for it back.

So Willow  held it arm length away. “Here.” She said simply. Again, Willow’s eyes shifted about the room until they came upon what was probably where the girl was seated. On the table was a sheet of paper and a red colored pencil. “What are you coloring?” She asked her.

[willowcarpenter-blog]

elliotxharper‌:

His subtle grin widened into a smile when he received the feedback that he was polite. His mother always tried to teach him to be nice and polite to others, so it was nice to hear that he was succeeding in that regard. He tried to make his mom proud with nearly everything he did… And no matter how many facts pointed to the conclusion that he was doing what his mom would have told him to do, he never could shake off the feeling that there was always something that she’d be disappointed in him if she was around. Even just the fact that he had to wait until after she was gone to make her proud was enough to tear him up inside. 

“I’ve been here for…—” He bit his lip as he tried to remember. He knew it hadn’t been that long, but he already started to loose track of time and the days. “Um… I think a little more than a week.” 

“Oh, I see. So you probably know about as much as I do of this place.” Willow said to Elliot. The girl was trying so hard to be happy, outspoken or anything that isn’t herself. Her school counselor said she should be more emotional and relate to the living but this was proving difficult.

[willowcarpenter-blog]

lucasmallory‌:

The question tagged to the end of her answer showed him that she probably hadn’t heard what he asked her. He smirked at that, not offended in the least bit. If there was anyone who understood getting lost in their own mind, it was him, after all. As she posed her own question, though, Lucas shook his head, “Can’t say I do. It’s all a joke- normal people looking for their moment in the limelight.” 

He tilted his head a little, “I do like it when Dr. Phil shuts the idiots who come onto his show down, though. That’s always entertaining.” He realized then that he hadn’t even introduced himself, so quickly recovered from that, “I’m Lucas. What’s your name?”

Willow gave a little sigh of relief this person hadn’t caught her spacing out or at at the very least, polite enough to not point it out. She bit her bottom lip then and wondered how else to contribute to the conversation something about a show she didn’t know about.

Luckily, the man introduced himself as Lucas and Willow smiled. “I’m Willow. nice to meet you, sir.” Willow said bowing her head awkwardly. She wasn’t the best at small talk. Hell, half her Elementary class just barely knew her name as a kid.

“What else is there to watch?” Willow asked, shifting her weight from foot to foot anxiously.

[willowcarpenter-blog]

elliotxharper‌: 

His slight smile widened a bit when she offered her name. Lately communication and socializing in general wasn’t a strong suit of his. When he was younger, he used to be the kid everybody at school wanted to be friends with. He was kind, he was funny, he was an athlete… He was basically the king of his middle school. However, after the accident that resulted in him being forced to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, he got to see the ‘friends’ he really had. He had the kind of friends who didn’t know what to say, so they decided not to say anything. The kind of friends who were uncomfortable- seeing Elliot in such pain and distress. They were the kind of friends who didn’t want to deal with their own discomfort, so they left Elliot alone. 

To be fair, Elliot did have a small group of friends who were willing to stick around… but the boy thought he’d only burden those friends, so he did his best to push them all away. He succeeded in most of them…—all of them, except for one. 

“Nice to meet you too. I’m Elliot.” 

Willow smiled back at the cute child. “Nice to meet you as well. You’re much more polite then most of the people here.” it was a nice change of pace for a little. Most people, patient or otherwise, didn’t give her much of a second glance. 

“Have you been here long?” Willow raised a brow in question at Elliot until realizing the question was kind of private. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if it’s too much. I’ve only been here about a week.” she said lightly. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

charlieswann‌:

The past week had been a bit of a shitfest. With Christmas. The holiday spirit roaming the halls of the institute. Charlie had been in and out of his room. Skipping therapy because he couldn’t even enjoy the music room since it was filled with the horrific decorations… He had however kept an eye on the new faces he encountered in the hallway. Not talking to them like he usually would do. But at least trying to remember them a little.

He had encountered the redheaded girl in the hallways again. Even though many might not have. It was like she was trying to blend in with whatever she was standing beside. With a steaming cup of coffee in his hand he approachedthe girl. Standing beside her staring outside as he took a small sip.

Originally posted by pornoposey

Willow was lost in the world of silence her mind often played games on her. she couldn’t hear the wind and the voices of the wandering patients didn’t register with Willow. Today wasn’t a good day for her, since this morning she felt much more... off.

It was worst after seeing her therapist. nothing but lies were told to her and being forced fed. Willow could almost feel the bread roll that was practically stuffed down her throat threatening to come back up. 

Willow shook her head and decided she needed to get this foreign invasion out of her body before her dead body rejected it on its own. She turned left but suddenly collided with a solid body. Hot coffee splashed out the cup in the man’s hand.

“I’m so sorry!” Willow apologized looking over the damage she caused and silently pleaded the man didn’t get mad at her. “I didn’t mean it” 

[bsaa-alomar-blog]

willowcarpenter‌:

It’s been a week since Willow started haunting Brielle. Day in and day out she mostly observed, followed the rules and kept to herself and so far nobody bothered her…for now. It was inevitable that someone will approach her.

What should she say? how should she act? how do you act alive? these people wouldn’t understand her no one does.

In the rec room, Lucas had been lounged on one of the couches for some time. He’d just been watching whatever others decided to put on, relaxing and enjoying his day. But when another patient came over to switch it to Dr. Phil, Lucas tired quickly of the sob story on screen. 

His attention was pulled elsewhere. To the other people in the room. One reading a magazine at one of the many tables, a guard standing up against the far wall with his bulky arms crossed over his chest, and a skinny redhead staring blankly out the window. 

Her expression was so blank, in fact, that Lucas couldn’t read it whatsoever. He couldn’t tell whether the girl was lost in thought, angry, depressed… But somehow, he could tell she needed a friend. Being that friend to people had become his own form of therapy. “You ever watched this Dr. Phil guy?” he asked her with a soft laugh. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

Looking aimlessly out the window, Willow didn’t realize someone had indeed begin talking to her until her green eyes drifted over to the muscular man relaxing on the leather couch staring at her with a smile. The redhead’s thin lips widened in fear. “Yes...?” she said not sure exactly what he had said but hoped it was indeed a yes or no question. 

Quickly surveying the room, Willow looked for something or anything to save her and what she spied was a television playing Dr. Phil. “Do you like these kind of shows?” She asked, the man didn’t seem like the kind of guy to watch trash TV. Willow wondered if he was more of a boxing or NASCAR fan. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

It’s been a week since Willow started haunting Brielle. Day in and day out she mostly observed, followed the rules and kept to herself and so far nobody bothered her…for now. It was inevitable that someone will approach her.

What should she say? how should she act? how do you act alive? these people wouldn’t understand her no one does.

[felicityxhoffman-deactivated201]

Elliot was definitely in low spirits this past week…—Of course, he was never really great, but it was particularly difficult for him to hide that lately. The fact that it was his mother’s birthday a few days ago certainly didn’t help to be honest. Even so, the young boy tried his best to keep a somewhat positive expression. He really didn’t want to stay at Brielle any longer, so he figured if he pretended to be happy, the doctors would let him go home. That and he didn’t even feel like he deserved to show how he really felt. 

He was lost in thought, but noticed an unfamiliar face. He hadn’t been at Brielle for long, so he wondered if this was just another patient who he hadn’t noticed before- or if she was new too. He rolled the wheels of his wheelchair forward so he could get a little closer. “Hey um…–Sorry to bother you, but… Are you okay?” He couldn’t read what she was feeling from her facial expression, but…—something inside of him said she looked lonely. Maybe she really was lonely, and he was doing her a favor by talking to her? Or maybe he was just projecting his own loneliness onto a stranger who didn’t want to be bothered. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

Continuing to stare out into the void, Willow sighed deeply when suddenly a  voice piped up ahead of her and her sparkling green eyes first focused up where she assumed someone was standing but instead she glanced down to spy a young boy in a wheelchair. 

She’d seen him maybe once or twice but committed faces to memories was useless to Willow. Something that now embarrassed her. “Uhm...Hello.” She said softly with a little wave. 

“My name’s Willow. it’s nice to meet you.” she said and tucked back a piece of auburn hair suddenly self conscious of her appearance. Most days, the girl didn’t care for how she looked, it matched her liveliness and why should she care what other people think but today as she stood with mussed hair, frumpy clothes and the body odor of a few days clinging to her skin Willow felt far too exposed in front of this boy

For some reason she really didn’t want to seem like more of a freak than she already was. 

[willowcarpenter-blog]

It’s been a week since Willow started haunting Brielle. Day in and day out she mostly observed, followed the rules and kept to herself and so far nobody bothered her...for now. It was inevitable that someone will approach her.

What should she say? how should she act? how do you act alive? these people wouldn’t understand her no one does.