My oldest friend (16 years) is not a good friend and I’m coming to terms with that.
They haven’t told me happy birthday for the last few years, they never text me first, they never invite me to metal concerts when I’m the one who introduced them to metal music, like they’ve completely thrown themselves into the alternative/metal community and doesn’t even bother to think about me, the only concert they’ve invited me to is Big Time Rush which was cool but I’d rather see some of my favorite bands that they’ve went to go see without even asking if I want to go.
It’s honestly infuriating. It makes me feel like, even though we’re both autistic, that I’m the dumb autistic no one really wants to hang out with. I know I’m the type that makes people feel uncomfortable because I have that “uncanny valley” autism. But do I even make other autistic people feel that way?
It just sucks because they’re my only friend in this state, my only other friend lives 2000 miles away in a state I lived in for one year and they’ve been a better friend to me than my friend of 16 years ever has been.
Every time we hang out I immediately get overstimulated too and I get mean when I’m overstimulated, so I really think this friendship should unfortunately be laid to rest with everything else being said.
It hurts tho cause we’ve been friends most of our lives, I just thought I was more important to them and I’m being proved to be wrong so I have to let that friendship go or I’ll feel this way forever.
I’m better off this way
