Jackalope Falldown Mode

There was a jackalope here but people sent it horrible messages and accused it of a crime that someone else committed so now the jackalope is gone. Feel free to ask me for contact info if we were friends. I might not ever see the message though.

[windjackalope]

Hey there

Before anyone thinks so, this isn't me coming back to my blog after quitting. I don't feel safe coming back to it. I just keep feeling anxious about leaving the blog on a bad note so I wanted to put some good news up before leaving for good. Sort of like a happy ending.

I finally saw the psychiatrist that I've been saying I was gonna see since like January. Appointment was for late February. Doctor's very nice. I trust him a lot. He lives like two hours away though so scheduling is a bit hard. It's... kinda funny, he lives really close to where I spent a lot of the time that I was homeless. I probably walked right past his home office at least once.

Got antidepressants. They seem to be working pretty well so I'm a lot safer than I was before. They help with the anxiety, too! I'm sort of more confident now. It's really strange. Haha. Hard to sleep, though. Working on that problem.

Sometimes I check this blog's dash so I can look through the posts when I don't have much to do and need to relax, so if anyone still wanted to ask for contact info, I'll probably see the ask, it just might take a while. I'll go disable anon now (sorry) now that you know that I'm occasionally here. I won't ever be posting here again. Just looking at some nice pictures and posts from people I like. Dashboard's a better format than looking through their blogs one by one, you know?

If you do ask for contact info and I don't talk much, I'm just bad at coming up with words sometimes. Plus I'm kinda bad at social stuff. I promise it doesn't mean I'm mad at you. (:

Got a job interview recently and my rent's paid 'till late april, so the boring realworld life stuff or whatever you want to call it is going pretty well. Gonna try to learn violin again, I got a used instrument as a gift and I'm just really excited about that.

Basically, things are okay now but I don't feel safe being all personal on tumblr anymore. So, this is my last post on this blog. Not sure if I'll start updating jackalopehugs again since that's just reblogging pictures and searching for cute jackalopes. I might in the future. (:

Thanks for the good times, friends. <3

[windjackalope]

still waiting on one or two replies but I've gotten most peoples' skypes and stuff now after sending out some asks

so after I get those replies or get in contact with that person otherwise I'm gone

(also if I don't message you much on skype it's because I'm Bad At Talking so sometimes I have a hard time starting conversations)

I'm sorry about all this

[windjackalope]

ok so i guess literally no one wants contact information since all im getting is people like that im going to wait for the 2 messages i was waiting for a reply to and then im gone for good

thanks i guess the only way people could hate me this much was on false charges because thats literally what everyone is upset about

thanks for lying about me so that i wouldnt b e able t o talk to most of my friends anymore

theyre the only things i have left

[windjackalope]

Dude, contact a doctor. Contact your parents. Contact your RL friends. Heck, if you are on the brink of suicide, call [911 or whatever]. Find someone who can, if not understand your pain, at the very least see that it is there. Once they do, they WILL provide the help you need- be that a shoulder to cry on, anti-depressants, or therapy. Trust me- I've been there, done that, got the postcard.

im seeing a doctor in a month

my parent is emotionally abusive because im autistic

I WAS TRYNG TO CONTACT MY FUCKING FRIENDS BUT THEN I WAS DRIVEN OFF TUMBLR

WHICH IS HOW I CONTACTED MOST OF MY FRIENDS

[windjackalope]

If people reblogging your stuff gives you panic attacks why don't you get off tumblr or make things private? Seriously. People aren't nice. Here or in the real world. People will always be assholes.

its not the fucking reblogs its that last time they did this a bunch of people got the post over 100 notes and made tentacle #rape jokes it was fucking terrifying and now i cant stop expecting it to happen again

stop fucking telling me about the real world not being nice ive lived it and im trying to get away from it

[windjackalope]

okay let me rephrase that ask. your existence as is? it's pathetic. you rape animals, pretend to be suicidal for attention, and are otherkin. you are literally the scum of tumblr, and a rapist. please kill yourself and spare the animals your trauma.

wolf-gray is the goddamn dograpist. not me. any posts pointed at me are because when one person fucks up in the otherkin community it suddenly applies to everyone

again, if you're american, you just committed a crime by telling a suicidal person to kill themself

and you have no right to tell me that im not really suicidal

you're sending anonymous hate to a person you obviously don't know at all

what the hell are you doing with YOUR life

#rape #suicide

[windjackalope]

coming back because I realized I forgot to block someone and suddenly a supportive anon

well all right then not what I expected o:

I'll just do that and head back off then. lemme know if you want contact info, friends.

[windjackalope]

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I cannot believe someone would actually have the balls to tell someone to kill themselves. If I knew where they were, I'd make sure they didn't have balls. Period.

honestly I'm somewhere between also surprised and "well it was leading up to this"

thank you anon friend, I'd personally prefer they don't get hurt but I'm not one to respond to text with physical violence is all. thank you for standing up for me though <3

#suicide

[windjackalope]

ask me for my dreamwidth or skype if you want

stop sending me stupid anons

I'll check my inbox later

I will literally do nothing but answer asks with this account anymore

[windjackalope]

"hello police someone on the internet told me to kill myself"

it's literally a felony, look it up? might only be if they actually go through with it but still? wow

#suicide

[windjackalope]

you should probably actually kill yourself if you're only staying alive for the sake of others.you realize these people are only prolonging your suffering, right?

If you live in america, telling someone who is suicidal to kill themself is a felony and you could be sent to jail.

Anyways, I refuse to take an action that would upset these people.

They are the reason that I am still around. You'd think that people like you would realize that that would mean that they're worth something to me.

They're the only things left in the world that make me happy and if I can make them happy in return by staying alive

then it's worth it

#suicide t

[windjackalope]

you can also ask me for my skype if you want

logging off now

[windjackalope]

all right, coming back for a moment to say that I’m using Dreamwidth now

so if anyone has one of those feel free to send me an ask and I’ll link you to mine and give you access probably so long as I trust you?  I trust like 90% of you so yeah

I’m not sure if I’m okay or not but I’m… recovering. I feel shitty, physically, and really on-edge and upset emotionally. But I’m not rock-bottom right now so at least there’s that.

[windjackalope]

seriously if you're coming here to tell me that I'm apparently not suicidal enough for you and/or I need therapy you're wasting your time

and mine because I'm not here to talk to you

I'm here to tell friends how they can reach me

#suicide t

[windjackalope]

Sorry if I came off as mean. Anyway its funny people are complaining about the deer scent thing. The primary ingredient for musk (the kind of perfume) is from the glands of male deers. Anyway take care of yourself.

also this anon makes an interesting point and I'm amused by this

(@deer scent being a good scent stuff earlier)

[windjackalope]

You are either stubbornly refusing to deal with your suicidal tendencies by contacting a professional doctor, or faking it, in order to get attention. Neither make you look good, don't you agree?

I have a doctor's appointment later this month and have seen therapists for most of my life but haven't been able to see one for a while since my last one retired and it was really hard to find another since I'd seen her since I was like. seven years old

I don't really want to be alive anymore and haven't for years but a few people still want me around and I tend to want them to be happy so there's that

I'm not sure why the fuck you think you know enough about me to decide whether or not I really want to off myself OR whether I'm seeing doctors but you should probably quit it

also stop wasting my askbox and time I'm only using it to make sure friends aren't trying to see if I'm okay

#suicide

[windjackalope]

all right, coming back for a moment to say that I'm using Dreamwidth now

so if anyone has one of those feel free to send me an ask and I'll link you to mine and give you access probably so long as I trust you?  I trust like 90% of you so yeah

I'm not sure if I'm okay or not but I'm... recovering. I feel shitty, physically, and really on-edge and upset emotionally. But I'm not rock-bottom right now so at least there's that.