Don't you dream impossible things @ohmywhatamarvoloustune - Tumblr Blog

Nothing worth having Has come to me easily I've sacrificed you All of you, completely

{ Forget-Me-Not by Laufey }

#laufey #laufey music #forget-me-not #a matter of time

I do think some people need to realize you cannot Amazon prime one day free shipping your way into a friendship/relationship

weird-goodbyes

sometimes it’ll be inconvenient. sometimes you will have to sit through a movie you don’t enjoy and still say, “it was nice!” sometimes you’ll have to forgive them for things, and sometimes you’ll have to have tough conversations. human connection is often about learning how and why and what and when to care about another person. at least the one’s that are worth it. it might cost a couple more emotional dollars, and the shipping is a couple business days more, but it’s worth it.

maemaybe

I don't know who my intended audience is here, so whoever needs to hear this, I am begging you to learn to participate in conversations that are about things you aren't interested in.

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

You are being rude. Yes, even if you are neurodivergent. You can be both autistic and rude.

chasm-side

My therapist, who specializes in adults with ADHD, recently told me that all of her clients need a three day crashout period after a big life change. Finish the semester? Crashout. Change jobs? Crashout. Go on a really cool, really relaxing vacation? Crashout the moment you get home.

It's true of literally all of her clients. She works with a lot of them to put systems in place so that their crashouts are only three days. This includes the high-powered execs who travel regularly for work. It does not matter how successful or high functioning they are - they have ADHD, and a crashout is just part of the process of living with it.

I'm sharing this with all you ADHD friends out there, just in case you (like me) start shaming yourself if your crashout lasts more than one day. It turns out three days is kind of the best case scenario. Be kind to yourselves!

#con drop #big change drop #reminders #mental health #ADHD

thesweetiepienovels

Someone said “The slow burn of becoming yourself” and I think that might be one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. It’s such a good reminder of how much it takes, how much character development, how much change, and beauty and courage it takes to reach your soul and I hope no one ever gives up on becoming themselves because it’s a never ending journey that only gets better.

theambitiouswoman

Goals are lifestyle changes

wholeheartedsuggestions

you’re allowed to get up one day and just decide to change who you are. dress differently, speak up more, laugh out loud even though you’ve never liked your laugh, say what you want to, say hey to people you wouldn’t normally, get that confidence going. we don’t have to stay the way people see us out of the fear that they won’t like the us we want to be.

orcboxer

Hot take but praise is a good tool for encouraging healthy behavior. Positive reinforcement is good. Relying exclusively on punishment to change people's behavior is both cruel and ineffective. If someone does better than they did yesterday, let them know you appreciate it, let them know that they're improving!

orcboxer

"Don't praise anyone for doing the bare minimum" is a shitty take that prioritizes your sense of superiority over the actual betterment of people. I understand that things shouldn't be as bad as they are, and anger can often be justified, but you need to get over the propaganda that kindness is naïve, that cynicism and bitterness are intellectual. Withholding praise from those who haven't caught up with you doesnt actually help them, it doesn't motivate, it doesn't encourage, it only discourages them. It breeds bitterness and apathy, which are antithetical to empathy.

Growth isn't something you do on your own. People need support, they need community. Bootstraps won't get them there. Kindness will. Do you want results or do you just want to feel superior?

bealittleimprobable

Also, if you don’t praise people at least a little, you’re literally expecting them to mind-read whether what they did this time was the “correct” thing, and somehow magically know they got it right this time, as opposed to all the other times they said something and you stayed silent.

love-notes-to-survivors

Remember that even good changes can make us feel depressed, because, as creatures of habit, we're resistant to change. That doesn't mean that it wasn't the right choice.

#big change drop #do people know #things people need to be told as earliest convenience #I have freaked out and reversed solid changes I easily grew into before #stay the course #I can do this

armandology

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

wheeloffortune-design

I just came home from a three-day book fair and it reminds me to tell you about con-drop and how it explains why you're sad after seeing your friends.

So, con drop was coined to explain the drop of energy that comes a few hours or maybe a few days after attending or participating in a convention.

After spending several days on an endorphin and dopamine high, you go home and crash. Life seems dull. You feel the emptiness. You need to sign up for another convention. You're chasing the next high.

This is the same kind of feeling the BDSM community have called dom-drop or sub-drop.

The feeling can come with mood-swings, moodiness, fatigue, depression, etc.

I was aware of both, but at some point I realized it also happens to other kind of events that bring a high of dopamine. Like a party, an evening with your friends, anything where you have a lot of intense positive emotions.

Sometimes I come back from a party with my friends. And in the bus, I immediately crash and start doubting myself. And if my friends are judging me. And wondering what I said or did wrong, overanalizing every micro expression to see if they secretly hate me. (they don't).

I used to feel guilty about this. I'm supposed to have a good time and here I was, immediately crashing the moment I left.

(of course I have adhd and a weird relationship with dopamine.)

The moment I connected it with con-drop, it made sense.

So here I am after the high of the book fair, forcing myself to take it slow and not immediately start working on a new project to chase the high.

I'm gonna get a cup of tea.