RemanikaSahay

The chaos of your brain.. is the beauty of your pen..

[windlustre]

Lips are chapped and faded.

[windlustre]

The result.

I had created these walls. These layers of unfathomable intrigue, beauty and what not. There was spice, there was the concern, there was the drug abuse and beneath it was a reformed orthodox woman. I had created a paradox fpr my suvival. I had created this 'me' for myself. It wasn't until 1:20 am on a Tuesday morning of sickness that I wanted somebody to call me up and ask about my health and heart. It wasn't until this odd hour that i realised, i was indeed unapproachable. I had made myself unapproachable. I had made myself alone. I had created this monster that would drove away every good that came her way and boy, I like it this way.

[windlustre]

Fallen.

I think I've fallen for you or maybe I haven't, but maybes and whatifs are useless if every breath that i take has your fragrance in it. Every channel that i put on the radio,has a song that either of us sang on one of our road trips. Even though the moments I had with you were beautiful and pure, every ten minutes, I regret the first time we kissed. Nobody deserves that, nobody deserves to be labelled a mistake and i am sorry for all the bridges you had to burn down for me. I'm sorry for all the nights you stayed up trying. I am sorry that I wasn't as carefree as i used to be because i thought if i was, i would fall in love with you. Here comes the irony, i did fall for you, but you didn't.

[windlustre]

Love.

Love, is a lot of what we tell ourselves when we watch or favorite movies or read poetry. We give ourselves own notions of a feeling that may or may not exist. Love, in my most brutally honest opinion, is either an obligation or a fine example of stockholm syndrom. In the first instance, your mind just obligates you to think in a particular pattern and respond to kindness in a selected manner. In the second case, you get used to the entrapment by the other human being. There is no such thing as love, it's just an illusion.

[windlustre]

We could laugh at others for crying under the glaring sun or weeping in the rain, but when the moon glows in the starless night and you crawl alone in your quilt, I hope at least your tears are there to give you company.

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Every light dies out, only darkness is eternal.

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Keep running behind the train that's gonna run over your dreams.

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What i wrote and what i wanted to write.

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The first.

The first time we spent the day together, you told me how those street lights opposite to your balcony, one yellow and the other blue and how they looked like good and evil, battling their stands. Today, i look outside my window wondering if you had any idea about the destruction you've caused and whether that's good or evil. I continuously ask myself this question and that is what destroys me.

[windlustre]

Perfection.

Our stories, along the same paths. Our sins, belonged to similar hearts. I read poetry, you sung melodies. I timed pianos, you whistled harmonies. We were the same soul, residing in two different bodies, meant to be together, destined and in love just out of our time. We belonged to each other, more than romeo and juliet ever did. We could have fallen in love with each other, better than shakespeare could have predicted it. But we were both too damaged to go towards each other, both too hurt to harm one another. We took measured steps preventing our great fall, we managed to seek our greatest fears, we managed to get back on our crawl. We were perfect, just in the wrong time. We were lost, in a world not yours and neither mine. I would have loved you, for all that you are, but being me in front of you was so difficult that it killed the sights of what i was. I would have loved you had i been able to, i would have been the shore for the ocean that you are. But two oceans pretending to be shores for each other, that's not how love stories work out and that's probably why we didn't and that's probably why we won't.

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And i loved him for what he had made me, i loved his madness, but i merely liked his presence and that is probably what fucked us up.

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And then some nights, i go back to to getting those butterflies in my stomach, to smiling at your picture, to thinking of your words as brilliance, to looking at dreams and wishing they were reality, to going to the past and hoping it were still happening, to pausing and going back to cursing, you, myself, the time, the situation, the coincidences and us.

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Scarred face, broken arm, bald head "Nobody would ever look at me, let alone love me" Curly black hair, melodious laughter and black blind eyes loudly disagreed....

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Some people find the cure in disguise, others find the cure in their own poison...

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Love a man, love a woman, love both a man and a woman, don't love a man, don't love a woman, love knows no language, love knows no law and love sure as hell knows no boundaries..

#LoveWon

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If every breath that you take does not liberate yourself, either you're breathing wrong or letting the wrong breathe in...

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You are more than sad eyes and a crooked smile and a laid back attitude, More than a peace maker you are a peace seeker, You are not a caged monkey, you are a free bird, no, you are a free god damn dragon that can burn the entire city in one breath, So, You better walk around like they owe you one.