[windyservice]

today i used my free will to cook lunch on the stove instead of just grabbing a random snack and calling it a "meal". things are getting crazy over here

[windyservice]

perhaps i should not have begun my day with day old pizza and baja blast

[windyservice]

oop the room is spinning, im sweating, and i feel like throwing up. time to eat

[windyservice]

surely i don't have an eating disorder, but i fear i may be exhibiting signs of one and i have a question or two.

anyone that's recovered from a restrictive kind of eating disorder, what helped? what kinds of foods did you eat? what kinds of habits did you adopt? and any other tidbits that were generally helpful in getting back to a healthy diet and meal schedule.

[windyservice]

2026 will be the year i finally brush my teeth twice a day despite in spite of my mental issues

[windyservice]

not sure why im surprised when i have no energy, drive, appetite, or emotions when i fall just below the cutoff for "underweight" based on my height. i actually thought i was just above it, but ig my scale at home is broken, cuz the number was a few lbs lighter at the doctor's office. i was actually surprised, i didnt think it was that bad. not that "just above the cutoff" is nessessarily "good". i dont know what my point here is. i kinda just wanted to ramble

[windyservice]

i wasnt originally planning on making new years resolutions, but i think this would be a good one.

ive always struggled with getting myself to brush my teeth. ive tried in many way, but none of them stuck. im going to try one more method though.

i taped a piece of paper by my bathroom sink, and every time i brush my teeth, i get to put a sticker on the paper. its a little silly, but theres no calendar, and i'll immediately be able to see how many times ive brushed my teeth throughout the year without seeing the days ive missed. maybe that'll help with motivation?

i also have a lot of different stickers to choose from cuz i used to collect them and never commit to sticking them anywhere

[windyservice]

i have once again decided i'll just power through my period cramps only to crawl right back to my powdered tylenol before the end of day one

[windyservice]

my brain really is a bully. cuz what do you mean i'll work myself up to believing my friend doesnt like me at all and doesnt want to be around me, then he'll text me something like, "when are we going to go to the cat cafe?"

[martyrbat]

i dont know who needs to hear this but you do not need to go on a diet. you do not need to lose weight as a new year resolution. you do not need to feel shame for gaining any weight over the holidays and for enjoying yourself and the food. you do not need to tolerate diet talk after setting a boundary and if someone cant respect that then theyre being the asshole. you already have a summer body. you already are hot. theres no moral failure or shame in being fat

[windyservice]

its a little funny the way kids i used to babysit look at me like this🧍‍♀️😐 whenever we cross paths at the store or something like they're tryna figure out where they know me from. the parents dont usually notice me cuz theyre focused on shopping, but the kids just 👁👁

[windyservice]

you know a therapy session is going well when they ask if you're hearing voices

[windyservice]

my goldfish just lost filter privileges bc one of them keeps trying to kill himself like this

i had to save him 3 separate times. two of which were today. so instead, they get a bubbler, and partial water changes every month (probably shouldve been doing that anyway, but excecutive dysfunction is a bitch). gonna get some aquarium salts too cuz i think thats supposed to help with injuries🤷‍♀️

[windyservice]

hopefully he cant find a way to off himself with the airstone

[windyservice]

i gotta be honest. this dude is not looking good. he's swimming kinda lopsided, his mouth hangs open, he hovers near the surface

am i gonna be saying goodbye to him pretty soon?

[windyservice]

hes still lopsided but he swims a little faster now

fingers crossed

[windyservice]

my goldfish just lost filter privileges bc one of them keeps trying to kill himself like this

i had to save him 3 separate times. two of which were today. so instead, they get a bubbler, and partial water changes every month (probably shouldve been doing that anyway, but excecutive dysfunction is a bitch). gonna get some aquarium salts too cuz i think thats supposed to help with injuries🤷‍♀️

[windyservice]

hopefully he cant find a way to off himself with the airstone

[windyservice]

i gotta be honest. this dude is not looking good. he's swimming kinda lopsided, his mouth hangs open, he hovers near the surface

am i gonna be saying goodbye to him pretty soon?

[windyservice]

my goldfish just lost filter privileges bc one of them keeps trying to kill himself like this

i had to save him 3 separate times. two of which were today. so instead, they get a bubbler, and partial water changes every month (probably shouldve been doing that anyway, but excecutive dysfunction is a bitch). gonna get some aquarium salts too cuz i think thats supposed to help with injuries🤷‍♀️

[windyservice]

hopefully he cant find a way to off himself with the airstone

[windyservice]

my goldfish just lost filter privileges bc one of them keeps trying to kill himself like this

i had to save him 3 separate times. two of which were today. so instead, they get a bubbler, and partial water changes every month (probably shouldve been doing that anyway, but excecutive dysfunction is a bitch). gonna get some aquarium salts too cuz i think thats supposed to help with injuries🤷‍♀️

[windyservice]

i did the menstrual math and found out im gonna be on my period during christmas

fuck everything