it/its, 21, dms and asks are open despite the quasi-break!. update as of late; I am incredibly offline so please dont expect a timely response. i pop in and out of existence
Hi! (I reblog non-kin stuff on @archivists-den :D)
My names are: Archivist(can be shortened to Archie!) or Elijah! You can use any of them, but the order listed shows how closely they describe me!
I almost exclusively use it/its pronouns, but I am open to being referred to as he/him when comically appropriate or ?/?s.
I am 21 years old and English is not my first language, so please pay no mind to occasional weird grammar or spelling.
I have three kintypes, each of which I treat equally, but I post way more often about the first two:
- Angelkin; a spiritual origin, it represents what I was in my previous life and what my soul currently is. I used to be a hellbeast but was ascended into a servant of a God not affiliated with any known (to me) religion.
- Xenomorphkin; a 'type of unknown origin, more specifically I'm a neomorph!
- Robotkin; an exclusively psychological 'type, I am no specific kind of robot. It encompasses all kinds of robots, from androids to AIs. I actually started thinking recently it might be more of a hearttype than a kintype? I need to think some more about this `:o
My DMs and asks are always open (unless something disastrous happens). I love interacting with other people (and beings overall), even if I may seem awkward or shy.
Please don't take offense if I unfollow you, it is nothing negative, there are some completely normal things I am uncomfortable with looking at :( if I don't want to interact with/be interacted with by someone, I will simply soft/hard block them.
So I don't really have a DNI, if you've interacted and you're not blocked you're fine :3
This got a little bit too long, so I will be wrapping up! Goodbye! :)
I'll try to tag stuffs abt my personal otherkin experiences and similar things with #the.archives and I tag. well. Pretty stuff with #pretty
Saying you always joked about literally being a xeno would be dishonest. There was humor to the statements but you were never joking. Sometimes, you told people what you meant by that. Usually you didn't. Some got it, most didn't.
Your friends used to joke about how if real xenos managed to get on the station they'd tear you apart. You joked that you'd let them. Well, you weren't really joking. Neither were they.
The disappearances came in bursts, at first. One or two, sometimes three people would up and vanish. The station authorities were helpless. Rumors of an infestation grew. Sometimes from hyper-vigilance - it was hard to fathom something worse then a universal apex predator picking your little corner of space as it's new home. Sometimes it was humorous - a little dry, but the sheer bad luck for it to be bugs was statistically immeasurable.
Cameras catching a obsidian blur chasing someone into a blindspot was one thing, but when it got out that WeyYu acquired the station? The jokes died quick.
Colonial marines wouldn't arrive for a few months, WeyYu Security forces in two. Either way you and your friends knew you wouldn't live to see it.
You were fast, quiet. You had good instincts, always aware of your surroundings and where to hide or run. Your friends couldn't say the same. A loud thump from an above vent signaled the short timer your lives were on. They do their best to hide, mostly they do poorly. It wont be long before the slow meandering shadow finds them.
You hear more then see one of your friends collapse, gurgling. A hiss of displeasure comes escapes from the xenomorph. Attrition warfare, the station authority had instituted policy that should one of the aliens find you - you make sure they don't take you alive.
You stand, and walk out into the hall. It hasn't seen you, it hasn't heard you. If you left you'd make it out.
But your friends wouldn't, and you can't accept that.
You slowly, carefully pick up a wrench leaning against the corner of a room. It's heavy in your hands, you make sure your grip isn't too tight or too loose. You step back into the hallway and slam the wrench into the wall as hard as you can. Then you take off.
It's not far behind you. You can hear the thump thump thump of it's talonfalls gaining on you. You duck into a side path, it's claws pass clean through your jacket as it sails past.
You don't stop for a second. You can't, you need to make as much distance as possible. You shout as you run, making sure to alert anyone in your path to lie low as you distract the-
Your entire body flips into the air. Your jacket is grabbed from behind. You manage to struggle out of the captured clothing but you've lost too much speed. As you stumble back to stand the xeno plants a claw in front of you.
No more running.
You should be terrified.
You aren't.
You look back at the monster, trying not to laugh. Jealousy and Adrenaline race through your veins as it's hollow eyes stare back at you. You had so badly yearned to be one of them. Dangerous, untouchable. It's fitting that you die this way.
You're smarter than to read into the way it pauses, stares at you. It's probably just making sure you don't have any tricks up your sleeve - you don't. The minute drags on and with the adrenaline going your body suddenly feels achy and sluggish.
Maybe this is what it's waiting for?
But it doesn't pounce, or grab you, or even just kill you.
It just stares, and then tilts it's head. You tilt yours in return, increasingly unsure why you're still conscious. It makes a vocalization that resonates in your throat. You're not sure your mouth could make the same noise back.
Finally, it picks you up. You almost sigh relief, of all the feelings you could have at the moment. Your taken into a maintenance vent and led by a sturdy tail through the winding path until the air turns humid and warm. You can hear the station's reactor where you had guessed their hive was. You feel a note of pride for being correct.
As the two of you emerge from the vents, you find dark hallways made darker by thick black resin over all the walls.
"End of the line," you comment aloud to the only living thing that will hear you die. It looks back at you with what you have to remind yourself isn't confusion.
It hurts to say it. You're only human. You're a host. That's all they will ever see you as and to think otherwise is fooling nobody. You don't know what they're really thinking because you aren't one of them.
You try to focus on the sobering thoughts even as your gut sinks. You're going to die here, very painfully.
You open your eyes to see a second xenomorph is now examining you. The two creatures click and chitter at eachother as they seemingly discuss something. You're eyes are still adjusting, and while you're busy squashing the wish that you could understand them you realize the room your in is full of eggs.
They should react to your presence, shouldn't they? You keep waiting for the pin to drop but it never does.
One of the xenos huffs and walks off, clearly frustrated. The other, the original one, tugs lightly at your jumpsuit with it's tail; bidding you to follow.
It takes you to another part of the hive, a collection of food. It grabs some kind of canned fish (even with your generally excellent night-vision you can only make out the shape and smell) It tears the can open with it's claws but weirdly waits to eat.
You were so ready to die, you should by all means be dead. You weren't afraid of dying in this way. And yet, dread only sets in now: as you pick up a can of some soup product and pull the easy-open tab. As you struggle to find a logical answer to the xeno's behavior. As the increasingly obvious yet absurd truth that they consider you one of them becomes harder and harder to deny.
Hours, then a day passes.
You've explored most of the hive. Mostly stumbled in the dark. You don't think you can leave, doors that exit into the rest of the station are welded shut. However, you do manage to find a way to activate some lights! The second you do, a chorus of hissing escapes your various hivemates. you apologize loudly (as if they understand you) and set about dimming them to an appropriate middle ground.
You still haven't accepted it yet. You're probably just sick with something and they won't use you as a host until you get better. You are; however, getting used to the bodies on the walls. At first you couldn't stand them, but more and more you simply accept them as part of your environment.
At first, it doesn't even register that one of the bodies pinned up belongs to one of your friends. It clicks when your doing some electrical work in another room and you rush back to check on them. You stare, breathing heavily at the facehugger wrapped around their head. There's nothing you can do and you know that but you don't leave him until one of the xeno's comes to check on you.
At a certain point you had started naming the xeno's you could recognize. Though they do have some slight differences, in the dark you mostly make them out by little trinkets and gifts you attach to them. The one that stays closest to you you call Josie. You gave her your watch, mostly because you got tired of watching the time tick by. It wasn't long till almost every xeno in the hive had their own little trinket, some of them seeming to come to you out of jealousy before they had their own.
Two days later you recognize another one of your friends on the wall. This time, however, you find him mostly conscious. For a brief moment you wonder if you can save him, then you spot the yellowish curled up creature at his feet and realize why he's so loopy.
By the point where his time runs out he still doesn't believe you. He thinks he's hallucinating, no matter how much you reassure him you are very much real. You do get a little much needed small talk though.
He thanks you for saving his life back when you were captured, then apologizes for not doing more with it.
The xeno that crawls out of him you name after him.
One day you don't wake up to Josie by your side. After a bit of exploring you find her curled up in one of the larger rooms. Ever so slightly, she's shaking. You pet her dome, try to make sure she feels comforted with whatever is happening to her.
An hour in, there's a sick crack, and her dome splits unevenly.
Slowly, she crawls forth from her old body. The crest of a queen apparent. She strides back in forth and you realize she's showing off to you. You laugh, and lean down to her old body. Her watch doesn't fit anymore, but you'll find a way. Eventually, as she grows, her secondary set of arms fit the watch just find.
You've taken to sleeping near the queen. Weirdly, the alarms are blaring. You stumble out narrowly avoiding the hibernating xenos until you make it to a control panel. Immediately you start holding your breath. Weyland Yutani was pumping the hive full of gas to knock them out. You try to find a way to redirect it but lacking oxygen it's hopeless.
Eventually you wake in a white hospital room. Scientists and Doctors ask you dozens of questions trying to understand your survival. You ask where the queen is, barely remembering not to refer to her as Josie.
They confirm that they captured her and you don't even question yourself. You know that if you can't free her you'll die trying. You don't tell any of the scientists that, or any real answers as to how you survived. There was a time when you couldn't accept it, it just seems silly now. Silly that the scientists and security personal can't tell.
You're a xenomorph.
Late at night, you steal a gun from a sleeping merc and sneak your way into containment. You have to pickpocket a badge but that proves easy on the overworked scientists.
A scientist asks what you're doing here but you're close enough to the controls for at least a few xenos. You can practically feel them, thrashing in their cages. As desperate to free their queen as you are.
You hold the scientist at gunpoint, killing him would deprive your hive a valuable host. He stares, horrified as you open the pens. It feels good, his fear.
Got curious to see if there were any other xenomorph kin and went through the tag. Saw a lot of people saying stuff like “hm I really resonate with them but something is still off” and I’m wondering if a lot of those people maybe are only familiar with the first movie or just don’t know a lot of info about them? Because they come in so many different forms!! Maybe it’s just that the human-host drones aren’t the specific type you are! Maybe you were a drone from another species? Maybe you were a different caste entirely!! Were you a warrior maybe? Did you become a praetorian? There’s Workers who build the hive! They’re a more white color! Their inner mouth is more specifically designed to secrete a substance to build the hive! Carriers have specialized back tubes which helps them transport facehuggers outside the eggs, Ravagers are a big offensive type made only when a hive is in danger! There can be so many! I know I have memories of castes I haven’t seen mentioned anywhere! Or maybe you are just a similar species or any other possibility too. I just wanted to talk about how varried and cool xenomorphs can be
Angels can be kind and benovolent but remember that angels can also be :
Angels that bedrot and doomscroll
Angels who can be mean, who can be rude, who ignore or ghost
Angels who dont shower for days, who sweat and whose teeth are yellow and crooked
Angels with ache scars and acne on their backs and scars on their arms and hair on their legs
Angels with blood shot eyes in the morning and eye bags from being insomniac and sleep deprived
Angels who hold grudges, who throw tantrums and scream and yell
Angels who are petty and passive agressive and snide
Angels who have hurt people and the ones they love and who have been hurt too
Angels with low to zero empathy and angels who experience compassion fatique
Angels with violent urges and tendancies and thoughts
Angels who hate and want to punch a wall or throw a table
Angels who feel chronically empty, angels who feel tired all the time
Angels who are mortal, angels who reject divinity and embrace their mortality
Angels with no halos and wings, angels with no purpose or job
Angels who choose to be divine, who do not have memories
Angels who are lost and confused, angels who are unemployed and arent studying
Angels who try their best and it still isnt good enough, angels who dont try at all
You are still angels, you are still angelic. Define your own angelhood, define your own angelic nature and understand that being angelic is not one dimensional but is expereinced in all its multifaceted complexity. You are an ecosystem of your own making, contridictory and etheral.
i sometimes feel a little isolated for being fictionkin/flicker with no memories from a past life (or any belief at all that i even had a past life as whom i kin). not in the way that i am cast aside from the rest of the community or something, but more so in the way that i don't feel like i can really relate to everyone else and i rarely ever see fictionkin that also didn't have that past life :( of course, this is nobody's fault, i am just dumping my thoughts here and hoping someone can relate.
also since i don't really have kinmems, i don't really "miss" anyone from my source. of course it's always neat to find sourcemates but i don't really feel like i need to reunite with them or anything cuz i don't really know them. instead i think i tend to apply parts of canon luffy's life to mine. like, i feel no desire to seek out other strawhats cuz i already have my best friend group which i consider to be my crew in a way. and i'm completely happy with that :D tbh sometimes i feel more of a yearning towards the life than the people. like give me and my friend group a ship and let us go on adventures together !!! that is what i want !!!
Hehe. Ive been gone for long. Just popping in with an update. Still angelkin. Stilll xenomorphkin. Still getting tons of phantom shifts. Robothearted now though!
