sometimes i think about astarion and his whole romance storyline and how i wish that i too can be loved like that, despite all my flaws, to be accepted the way i am and to be seen as someone worth staying with.
Postgame!Astarion who outright tosses out all the letters from across Faerun requesting the great hero of Baldur’s Gate for their own problems. Any letters addressed with anything other than your name is immediately chucked into a trash bin sitting idly by the front door just for that purpose. You’ve given up on telling him it’s okay—that you're alright with helping out once in a while. But he’s adamant, fussing as he refuses to allow you to drag yourself back into another insufferably long adventure when you deserve to rest. He drags you away from the bin back to your shared bed that he finds awfully comfortable.
Postgame!Astarion who takes up a lot of hobbies with his newfound freedom from his master—some of which escalate into full blown businesses. His hobby of perfuming, for one, alongside his skills in sewing. He only makes things for you in the beginning, but when other ladies begin to take notice of your alluring scent and beautiful garments of clothing, they rush to ask you of its source. But since he can't stand out in broad daylight, you take down note of everyone’s measurements and act as the middle man. He never actually meets his customers, but he likes to give each of them personalities in his head based on what they want. They're scary accurate.
Postgame!Astarion who still sleeps with his dagger close by. He doesn't need it to be under his pillow as it used to be, but he keeps it in the drawer beside his bed. He knows he has no use for it anymore, but knowing he has some form of defense lets him sleep a little lighter.
Postgame!Astarion who practically clings to you on mornings you have to leave for daylight, hoping you'll give up on whatever plans you had and just come back to bed. You do listen more often than you'd like to admit. But on days when you manage to pry him off your waist, he's extremely dramatic about it. When you return home, he has a frown on his face, arms crossed and perched on the couch like a mother waiting for her teenage daughter to return from a late night party. He huffs for a couple minutes as you change into something more comfortable. But when you kiss his forehead, asking if he wants to go out on a walk, he’s all grins and smugness again.
Postgame!Astarion who never falls asleep before you, opting to watch your breathing instead since it's not like he needs to sleep anyway. He confirms you're here. He confirms you're real. He confirms he’s not dreaming, and that he won't snap awake in a few moments to the cell in Cazador’s palace.
Postgame!Astarion who adopts/cares for the cat you bring home one day. He says he hates the damn thing, but you can tell they're the closest of friends just a few months in. He makes his newfound friend a fresh wardrobe to match his own. When you question him about it, he gets flustered and scoffs, spitting out nothing but hatred for the cat but having them sit on his lap.
Postgame!Astarion who worries. He worries that you'll be taken away from him. He worries his past will come bite him in the ass and take the payment for his crimes in the form of his very lover. He knows you'll die, while he continues to traverse the realms as a faceless entity. But he doesn't even want to think about that right now. He's more concerned you won't have as much time as possible at his side. When will you leave? When will you tire of him? When will the universe decide he no longer deserves you—or maybe he never deserved you in the first place. Does it even matter? Maybe—maybe this was all just temporary, and—
He feels you tuck your head into the crook of his neck. And here, he decides he doesn't want to spend the time he does have with you worrying over something that hasn't happened. That's a bridge to be crossed some other time. And by then, he's sure he’ll do anything to keep what remains of the sun in his life.
You vaguely wondered how long it would take to set Astarion off.
He was glancing at you from across the camp, leaning against an oak tree as he twirled a dagger in between his masterful fingers.
The fluid motion broke your concentration for a moment.
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and you quickly realised he was aware of your attempts.
Shit.
So much for subtlety.
Maybe you should have picked Wyll to test his jealousy as you reckoned it would have been more effective.
But now it was too late.
You feigned innocence as you patted Gale's arm, mindlessly nodding as he happily explained the intricacies of a chicken broth that he was preparing for later.
“See, the essence of this dish lies in getting the proper ingredients,” he went on, dipping the ladle into the steaming pot and stirring it gently before bringing it to his lips. “Hmm. Definitely lacking something, as I suspected.”
“Really? It smells very pleasant,” you said truthfully as the soft breeze wafted the delectable fragrance your way.
Gale raised one finger. “Mushrooms.”
“What?”
He nodded. “It requires a touch of mushrooms to fully bring out its flavour.”
You patted his shoulder with a warm smile. “I’m sure we can do without it.”
But Gale’s enthusiasm immediately wavered, his brows sinking. “Absolutely not. We require a proper meal and a proper meal is what I shall provide.”
Oh.
He stirred the broth again before rummaging through a satchel at his feet. “Well, I don’t suppose you could fetch me a few?”
Glancing over your shoulder, you found that Astarion had vanished.
Shit.
Your plan shattered into pieces as the object of your teasing was nowhere to be seen.
“Could you?”
Gale’s voice snapped you out of your frustration and you found yourself frowning slightly. “What do you mean?”
“I need some mushrooms, my friend.”
Your frown deepened, but you really had no choice now and a refusal would most likely break his heart.
“Where can I find them?”
Gale beamed with a wide grin. “I spotted a few on the side of the road and near some trees as we were setting up camp. I was foolish enough not to pick them and now I’m burdening you.”
You shrugged with a sigh. “It’s no bother. I was the one who asked you to teach me some of your cooking tricks.
“Ah! You should have trained to become a wizard,” he said with an approving nod. “A hungry stomach and an equally hungry mind.”
As much as you wished to return his enthusiasm, you couldn’t help but to feel annoyed at yourself for the appalling attempt at riling Astarion up.
Maybe he had seen right through it and merely walked off, probably chuckling.
But maybe you had stirred something inside him that ultimately caused him to leave.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
You followed Gale’s instructions, nearing a forest area, shaded from the sun as the canopies of the surrounding trees grew denser and branches intertwined with each other above you.
It didn’t take you long to spot a conglomerate of a few rounded caps by the protruding roots of a large and thick oak tree.
Unsheathing your dagger, you squatted down and began dicing through the spongy stalks.
You were halfway through your task, when you felt the cold press of metal resting on the side of your neck, freezing you in place.
A smile crept across your face.
“I don’t suppose you value your life enough if it’s this easy to sneak up on you.” The blade moved upwards and along your jaw, causing you to turn your head. “Darling.”
You flinched away from Astarion’s grasp and both of you rose to your feet in an instant.
“I doubt any foe would be as delicate as you should they intend to truly harm me.”
He twirled his dagger, offering a devious smile. “Point taken.”
As expected, praising him always did wonders.
And it was absolutely true and equally expected that a skilled rogue could move in the shadows with unmatched prowess.
But then, the mood shifted as he deepened his smile. “What were you doing back there with Gale?”
Oh?
You cleared your throat, sheathing your blade once again at your hip. “I was merely observing his cooking skills.”
He took a step in your direction.
“Were you, now?”
“Yes.”
He scoffed. “You’re not as subtle as you think you are, darling.”
You allowed yourself to move back with each step he took. “And you’re not as perceptive as you think you are.”
“You weren’t trying to deliberately make me jealous, were you?”
You shook your head, feeling your heart drumming hastily in your chest.
Astarion’s feet only came to a brief halt once your back hit the rough surface of the tree trunk behind you, effectively rendering you immobile.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
A shameless lie that he immediately tackled. “A lousy liar who’s even worse at vexing me,” he tutted before pressing one knee right in between your legs. “I taught you better than this.”
The air in your lungs stilled momentarily as his arms were now on either side of your head, caging you.
“Gale was the one offering his teachings.”
He dropped one hand below your chin, tapping it teasingly with the side of his blade and tilting your head back. “Please. I highly doubt that dullard could offer anything of value where it really counts.”
“Astarion…” you drawled in delight. “Are you actually jealous?”
His brows furrowed together. “Obviously not.”
Inside, you were thoroughly enjoying how your fleeting attempt had indeed been successful, despite Astarion’s denial.
You could see it in his narrowed crimson eyes and how the faintest of scowls deepened the lines on his handsome face.
That stroked your ego in a way that almost made you shudder.
You tried to ignore how he was now pressing his knee harder.
His lips almost brushed against your and, for a split second, you thought he was going to kiss you, but he tipped his head to the side and you felt his cold touch on your cheek.
A shiver ran down your spine and you gripped his arms.
“What are you doing?”
He chuckled. “Showing you what really counts.”
“And what is that?” you asked, words coming out shaky.
Astarion adored taunting you with words, but he excelled at rendering you speechless with his skilled touch.
So it came as no surprise when eventually sheathed his blade and had his hand tug your shirt free from the waistband of your trousers, sliding his hand underneath.
This was bad for you.
Terrible, in fact.
He had the upper hand.
And he fucking knew it.
His fingers brushed along your lower abdomen and his voice was raspy in your ear. “If I slide my hand inside… what will I find?”
Your body was too used to him by now to the point that he could have you throbbing for him with little effort.
The knee dropped and you almost whined at the loss of friction against your swelling clit.
“Answer me,” he said, tugging at the waistband.
You swallowed. “Nothing much…”
Was there even a point in deceiving him now?
Expert fingers tugged at the lacings, loosening the fabric just enough for him to be able to slip underneath, his fingertips gently gliding in between your folds, avoiding your clit altogether.
But you were wet enough to draw a pleased grunt from him.“What is this, then?”
You gasped, involuntarily clenching around nothing and feeling a gush of wetness spilling as your body reacted in anticipation.
“Use your fingers properly and find out.”
Your taunt didn’t go amiss. “Maybe an apology is in order,” he said, arrogance dripping from each word. “It seems that your foolish attempt at making me jealous has backfired.”
Much to your frustration, your hips rolled into his touch, silently wishing he would stop avoiding your swell.
“How has it backfired?” you managed to say as one finger teased your entrance.
He ignored your question and began trailing kisses along your jawline, his other hand working hurriedly at the front of your shirt.
Of course.
You knew all too well that you’d feel his cock hard enough if he was already this eager to expose your breasts.
One by one, he undid each lacing, and he pulled back just enough for his gaze to drop as the fabric parted and he gently pulled down the binding that held your chest in place.
Your nipples quickly hardened and you rolled your hips once more, causing one of his fingers to slide inside.
He hadn’t intended for that to happen, but he was so transfixed with your breasts that he was caught off guard.
It was the vicious clenches around his finger that snapped him out of it and his lustful eyes met yours. “Give me one reason not to slide out of you.”
You smiled in between gasps as he sank deep inside. “Should I ask Gale what he’d do in your position, then?”
And just like that, Astarion snapped.
A second finger slithered past your tightness and he brought his lips to your ear. “Careful, darling. Choose your words wisely or you’ll be riding your own mage hand instead.”
Oh, this was delicious.
Astarion was visibly annoyed and it did wonders to your confidence.
It wasn’t easy to get him all worked up, but it only fueled your ego and made you quicken the pace.
Your whimpers increased in intensity and you looped your arms around his neck for added support, lifting one leg to wrap around his waist. The new angle allowed him to go knuckle-deep and you shuddered as his strained erection pressed against his hand nudged him even deeper.
He groaned first, clearly enjoying the newfound friction, and you clenched hard at how his face twisted in pleasure.
“Look over my shoulder,” he suddenly said, his half-hooded eyes finding yours.
Somehow, and in between each roll of your hips, you complied, realising just how close to camp you truly were. Close enough to make out the silhouette of Shadowheart who was now at Gale’s side as he worked on his broth, probably wondering what was taking you so long to bring him some mushrooms.
“What about it?” you asked, a bit louder than intended when he sank all the way in once more.
His lips brushed against yours this time, dragging his fingers back as you clenched desperately around him. “You either keep it down or we’ll have an audience soon enough.”
“Would you mind?”
He stilled abruptly.
“What? Having Gale hear you coming undone for me?” he taunted as you tried to have him back inside, your hips following his retreating hand. “That he would soon realise he could never provide such bliss to his lover?”
You whined in responde, frustrated that you were now faced with an agonising emptiness.
“See, darling,” he continued, sliding one finger back inside, but not quite deep enough to fully satisfy you. “I can be quite generous when I want to.”
“But what?” you groaned, trying to have him sink deeper to no avail.
There was always a ‘but’.
He placed a kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling back. “But I am not willing to share your cries of pleasure with anyone else.”
“Then silence me.”
The most devious grin settled on his face and you knew you had just offered a challenge he would gladly take.
And with his other hand, you watched as he brought the handle of his dagger close to your lips.
“Open.”
Your eyes widened and your heart immediately skipped a beat. “Astarion…”
“As much as I’d love to have your lips wrapped around my cock,” he said with a click of his tongue, parting your lips for him. “I am more interested in finding out how quiet my dagger can make you.”
You clenched around him so fiercely he actually growled.
Your teeth sank into the handle and you readied yourself for what was to come.
Astarion trailed your lower lip affectionately as it wrapped around the leather wrappings and a second finger joined the first, the heel of his palm rubbing against your clit as he pumped in and out, never breaking eye contact with you.
The moans and whimpers and gasps that slipped from you were being effectively muffled and you were thankful he had decided to silence you this way, because when the third finger nudged at your entrance, you could only roll your eyes shut as your bit hard around his dagger.
“Surely you can take one more,” he teased, his voice low.
You eagerly nodded, rolling your hips into him, knowing you were more than ready for the added thickness.
It slid inside painfully slowly and the stretch had you gasping and nearly dropping his dagger, which he promptly secured in place.
“Now, I know it’s not as thick as my cock, but I am sure you can keep those pretty lips wrapped around it,” he taunted.
You groaned with a nod eager to please.
Eager to come undone for him.
The combination of being so full of him and how he allowed you to rub your clit on his palm was too much. The lewd sounds were almost too obscene and you gripped both hands together, holding onto the remainder of the sanity you had left.
For a brief moment, he allowed you to ride three of his fingers, giving you the illusion that you’d reach your peak easily and rather quickly.
But Astarion wasn’t forgiving even if he had been rather generous thus far.
And you should have known that your actions would have consequences.
His generosity came to an abrupt halt just as you felt the familiar coil down below becoming more and more overwhelming, your body quickly reaching the point of no return.
Your gasps were now becoming more erratic and you were visibly struggling to keep a hold of the dagger in your mouth.
And then you felt a painful emptiness as he pulled out from you at once.
He chuckled when you groaned in sheer frustration, not allowing you to spit the dagger out and curse him to the Nine Hells.
You felt the urge to cry as he denied you from reaching your high, your hips still moving on their own accord in the hopes of finding his fingers again.
“Now, now,” he tutted, caressing your flushed cheek with his thumb, a single tear streaming down your face. “You didn’t think I would be that generous, did you?”
Fuck you!
Your words came out muffled, but he understood enough to continue his taunt. “I know you want to, but not before I have some assurances first.”
Impatience took over you, but you managed to arch an inquisitive brow at him.
He pressed his lips where his thumb had been, kissing your tear away. “Tell me no one can make you feel like this.”
Your eyes widened once more as he pulled the dagger from your teetering teeth.
“I’m all pointy ears, love,” he urged, meeting your eyes. “Go on.”
Astarion adored being praised, but this was just cruel.
Your teasing hadn’t been solid enough to warrant such punishment. You had been so close to your peak…
“Astarion…”
He shook his head with a frown. “No, no, no. You do not get ‘cuddly and sweet Astarion’ after what you’ve pulled, sweetheart.”
Your hands came to grip his shoulders almost pleadingly, but you knew you had no other choice if you were to reach your climax anytime soon.
“No one can… no one…” you whispered, your voice cracking.
But he wasn’t satisfied.
Of course he wasn’t.
It took more than that to fill his ego.
“I’ve ruined you for anyone else,” he said with an intense smile. “You know that, don’t you?”
You immediately nodded, fully agreeing and not out of despair.
“Can you be good for me, then?”
Another nod as you tried to nudge him closer with the leg wrapped around his waist just to prove your point.
“Your pleasure is mine,” he said, bringing the handle of his dagger back to your lips and, this time, you quickly wrapped them around it. “My pleasure is yours.”
He removed his hand from inside your trousers and he pushed your leg down so he could tug them down your legs to give him better access.
Once you had slipped out of them, he eagerly wrapped you around his waist as he tugged at the front of his own trousers, until he freed his cock.
You gave it a quick glance, pleased to find the tip glistening with precum.
“Bite down hard, darling,” he warned, aligning you with him. “I know you adore how my cock stretches you.”
You did as you were told and he sank into you in one swift thrust of his hips.
He was all the way in and your back arched as he steadied you with both hands.
The first clenches around his cock made him mumble a string of curses as he tried to adjust to your tightness.
It didn’t take long for him to set the pace, slowly fucking you against the oak tree.
You weren’t going to last long from this new angle, and neither was he. It would be rather easy to get him to lose all control if you lost yours first. Astarion was rarely able to withstand your contractions as you rode out your climax.
His eyes were locked on yours, but something caught your attention.
Suddenly, your hazy eyes managed to focus on the camp nearby and you watched as someone seemed to be approaching in the distance.
Oh… fuck…
Was it Gale?
No.
It was Wyll.
You clenched around him almost panicking, until you realised he wasn’t coming any closer and had simply taken a turn down the hill, waving at Gale.
Your mind was too overtaken by how his cock felt inside you to care about the context of that exchange.
Having Astarion being so eager to prove you that no one else could fuck you this way, had you undulating your body against his, always making sure he could bure himself fully inside you with each thrust.
Oh.
You were too close.
“Eyes on me,” he hissed, punctuating each word with a snap of his hips.
Dangerously close.
Especially when you met his crimson eyes again.
And you almost topped over the edge at once when you saw him doing something you had never witnessed before.
He finally broke eye contact and his gaze was once again on your breasts and hardened nipples.
And then…
With his free hand, he pulled his own shirt up the length of his body, securing the hem in between his own teeth, fangs digging into the fabric.
What…
He wrapped his arm around your torso and pulled you into him, your breasts pressed against him. The sight was breathtaking as you felt your nipples rub briefly against his, earning a guttural groan from him.
Astarion allowed you to sink all the way down his cock and you could no longer hold back the intense wave of pleasure that came crashing down as you felt his balls pressed against you.
You were biting down so fiercely on the handle of his dagger, you feared youd snap it in half as your first contractions tore through your body.
He pressed your back hard against the tree, and with a final grunt into the crook of your neck, he began spilling inside you, allowing you to squeeze his cum with each of your rhythmic clenches.
You clawed at the back of his shirt, feeling your mind blank as you came down from the overwhelming height of your pleasure mixed with his.
It was hard to steady your breaths and you weren’t sure you had ever come this hard in your life, but it felt like a shared sentiment as Astarion remained buried inside you even when his cum began to spill and drip.
The dagger fell to the ground and you gasped for air, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head through his messy curls.
“Gods…” he eventually groaned, showing no intention of pulling out.
You grunted in agreement, caressing his damp hair.
“Should I tease you again?” you almost chuckled in between heated pants. “Wyll next?”
He pulled back and shot you a murderous glare. “Don’t you dare…”
it's new years in my country, so happy new year to everyone! here's to many more bg3 art in 2024, and hopefully more bg3 content 👀, regardless thank you to the Larian team for creating a game that had such an impact on everyone and thank you to everyone who viewed my art haha No more blog posting, happy new years everyone xo
"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.
summary. Astarion realizes you're jealous after a night out at the tavern where he must gather information from another. And him being him, teasing ensues.
warnings. fluff, idk just two idiots doing idiotic things, Tav here is good oriented, sorry to evil tav players,,,
pairing. Astarion x GN!reader
a/n. I love morons in love,,
You were not jealous. Especially not of that damned elf practically hanging off from his arm.
You'd encountered devils, walking brains, even the greatest of beasts during your adventures, yet not once have you felt nothing but utter annoyance. Like an obnoxious fly circling your head insistently no matter how much you swatted at it.
You'd never considered yourself possessive of your dearest companion. Sure, you were protective of him at times, but so were you with the rest of your group, especially knowing what each person had gone through in their lives. And while being lovers might've given an extra kick to that boundary, by no means were you excessively watching him like a hawk.
But now here you were, not watching him, but her.
Information, you remind yourself. You'd nearly forgotten why he was even tolerating her behavior in the first place, because even if he was flirtacious by nature, his tendencies narrowed down towards only you after your conversation at Moonrise. You knew he dreaded this as much as you, but the information that woman had was a must—and Astarion had insisted he could help out.
You were sincerely regretting even entertaining the idea now.
She has her chest pressed flush to the toned muscles of his arm, making sure he’s aware of what qualities she has to offer. With a bat of her lashes, she lets out a shrill laughter when he mumbles something, playfully hitting his chest as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
You’ll show her something really fucking funny at this rate—
Patience, you remind yourself. Breathe. In and out. This is unlike the qualities of a hero trying to save the city. Shooting an arrow at the woman would do nothing but cause panic. Why did you even want to get so violent in the first place? A little minor bump in the road shouldn't make you this angry, should it?
You seriously don't want to watch anymore—especially when he leans toward her to whisper something in her ear and she lets out that rage-inducing giggle again—so you down the rest of your alcohol and run a hand down your face.
You don't notice his eyes glancing at you every few moments, too busy calming your nerves.
A few minutes later, you hear the scrape of his chair pushing back and a rush of relief floods you when you see him stand, face content in a way that tells you the mission was successful. You thank the Gods above because any more of this and you certainly would've committed some sort of crime-
The woman takes his hand, shaking her head before giving him a sly smile. The breaths you took earlier seem to have no effect the second she motions towards the door, her fingers still wrapped around his hand like a death sentence.
You should trust him, you think.
He's had more experience in this than anyone else.
You can't see his expression, but the second you see hers drop, you're suddenly moving across the entire tavern. He whips around when he hears your steps and the relief on his face almost calms you. Almost.
“Hello, dear,” you accentuate. And though your eyes are trained on his, you're more focused on the woman from your side view. “Ready to leave? Sorry I had to catch up with a friend earlier.”
He raises a brow for a moment, and you suspect it’s because you were never supposed to even be in the plan. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze and look away, embarrassed to have let your emotions alter the mission so much—but he seems more than pleased. In fact, the bastard grins.
“Yes, my love,” he snickers, snatching his arm away from the woman and looping the other around the waist. “Let us hurry. I cannot stand another moment being unable to ravage you under such—prying eyes.”
Somehow, your face gets hotter.
Before the woman can respond (though you doubt she even wanted to), he's leading you out the tavern into the cold air of the streets for a much needed breather on your part. You're almost certain you won't be going to that tavern for a while.
“‘My dear’?” he mimics, his lips stretching wider. “I’d believed I was the one with pet names in our relationship. You'd seemed quite adamant on calling me by my given name after all. Had a change of heart?”
Your voice is a mumble as you retort. “Must be the alcohol.”
“Really? Because if I didn't know any better, and I do,” he stops the two of you around the corner of the building in an isolated spot, forcing you to meet his eyes. “I’d think you were jealous back there, darling.”
“I was just worried about you,” you blurt in a hurry. “Otherwise I wouldn't have butt in and—”
“Oh, my sweet sweet love,” he laughs. “I could feel you glaring from across the building. And I'm sure I could've sworn to see you slam your goblet a few times. No need to be ashamed. Jealousy is quite normal, and I'm more than flattered.”
“I’m not—” you begin, but her face flashes in your mind again. The way she'd touched his arms, his chest, and you knew she'd never know him the way you do. But it didn't quell the annoyance flickering in your chest. He raises a brow expectantly for your answer, and you quietly lift your hand to his arm, dusting it off.
Dusting her off.
And finally, you accept it. “I’m going to burn those clothes.”
He snorts. “I’m sure there's more romantic ways of getting me naked, but this’ll have to do for now.”
“I will. Then I’ll bury the ashes somewhere.”
“Charming.”
You look at him, disappointed—not in him, but yourself. Before you can drown in your own thoughts, he lifts his fingers to caress your face, smiling. “There really was no need to be jealous, darling.”
“I know,” you mutter. “I just—seeing her practically begging for your attention pissed me off.”
“And there's the difference between you and her. If it's worth even comparing at all,” he says, planting a peck to your forehead. “She begs a hopeless cause while I beg for you.”
You roll your eyes playfully. “You don't need to beg me for attention.”
“I’m aware. I know how much you're fond of me and my gorgeous eyelashes.” You sigh at this. “But I must admit that a selfish part of me is a bit pleased by your reaction to that vile woman.”
“Why? This feels horrible.”
“Well, now you get a taste of what I want to do when I see you with that damned cleric,” he groans at the thought. “Yes, I am aware you two are the giddiest of friends, but whenever she puts her hands all over you for the sake of healing—”
You burst into a fit of laughter. “How else is she supposed to help?”
“I’m sure she can heal you from a safe distance away. Preferably twelve feet. Maybe more.”
Wordlessly, you calm your smile and press your lips to his, your fingers running through white curls. He holds you like you’re made of glass, gently.
The kiss is soft, even as you finally pull away. “Stupid vampire.”
“Silly darling.”
You don't complain when he pulls you closer for one last kiss.
What if Astarion’s not the only insecure one in the relationship?
Angsty-ish with a happy ending. Enjoy!
The drow who was now half draped over his arm was stunning.
You watch from across the room, your dinner half-eaten and abandoned, as he smirks at her and not so coyly puts his hand over her knee. Part of you wants to just storm over and ask him what the hell he was playing at, but the larger part of you thinks that this was to be expected.
After all, how was someone like you expected to match up to someone like him? Someone who turned heads wherever he went, who without any conscious effort stole the hearts of whoever was foolish enough to look at him for too long?
And you? You’re just you. You’ve never turned heads. You were never first choice.
Sure, he had chosen you. But really, weren’t you chosen because of circumstance? You were his first. You had chosen to protect him. You had saved him. How can you not be chosen?
You like to think you were special because you had seen beyond his physical beauty. Had loved him for more than that. However, you know it could have been anyone. Anyone in your position could have also done the same thing.
You weren’t chosen. You just happened to be there.
The slam of your mug down on the table makes everyone stop what they’re doing and look over at you. It would be embarrassing, if you weren’t so consumed with your thoughts.
“I’m retiring for the night. If Astarion looks for me, let him know.”
With that, you leave your half-eaten food and rise from the table, leaving all of your companions stunned.
The only companion not on the table however, misses it. He’s still hand in hand with the drow, whispering into her ear.
The door to your room opens an hour or so later, snapping you out of your nap. You glare as he steps in, and to your surprise and extreme annoyance, he looks giddy.
“Darling, the others told me you left early! You missed-“
Astarion narrowly dodges the shoe you throw at his head. He blinks, the grin slowly disappearing off of his face.
“What’s wrong?”
You stand, trying to not show any sign of the internal anguish you feel.
“I know you’re a bastard, but you could have at least broken up with me or said something before you start picking someone else up in front of my face!”
He blinks, then realization dawns on his expression. He moves quickly, and in a second he’s right by you. He offers you his hands, keeping them close but not pushing to touch you.
“It’s not- that’s not what it was,” he says quietly. “I thought you’d know I was putting on an act.”
“Act or not - it hurts.”
A moment to steel yourself. You don’t really want to open this can of worms, but it needs to happen.
“Look. If you’re done with this. Us. You could just say so, like a normal person,” you say, the sound of defeat inevitably present in your tone.
“And why would you think that?” Comes the reply. He moves to sit by you on the bed. “I trusted you to know that it was just an act. I saw something, and wanted to have it.”
Your mind goes to the worst possible option, naturally.
“Well, did you have it? Did you have her, then?”
With Cazador’s death, Astarion had began to rediscover his sexuality and reclaim it. You are happy for him, of course, but now you wonder if he’s shopping around for better options than you.
He laughs at your words. It is a little incredulous.
“If I wasn’t talking to you, love, I would have thought you insecure,” he begins, but as he finishes his sentence the truth hits him: you are.
You’ve always been the calm, collected one to him. You’ve always seemed so secure and so sure of your relationship. He was the insecure one. He was always frightened of the day you’d realize you could find better.
Now he sees the truth you’ve never really let slip.
He takes a deep breath, unsure how to approach this. Then, he digs inside his pocket and quickly shows you what he has in there. An aquamarine ring, set in an intricately carved band.
“I spotted this the moment we walked into the inn. And I had to have it,” he murmurs in a very different tone. “I got it for you.”
You exhale roughly, and pick up the ring from his hand. “So you decided stealing it by flirting with the drow was how you’re going to show your love?”
It felt ridiculous, but when was he not?
He chuckes. “That was the idea. The execution could have gone a bit more smoothly.” He figures he should have told you of his plan, but then again, would you have even agreed? And he did so want to give you something nice.
You are silent for a few moments, and then you nod.
“All forgiven, then. Just let me know next time.” You’d rather just sweep everything under the rug, since you were proven wrong. And you don’t really want him prying into..
“Did you think I was going to replace you, darling?”
Shit. You wince. “Yes.”
The truth needs to be said. You face him. “Look. I’m just me. I’m your.. whatever I am, because I was there. Had it been anyone else, then it would have been them. I’m-“
“Does it matter who was there? Who was first, who was not? I agree. It could have been someone else. But it wasn’t. It was you.” Astarion shakes his head. “And that is the end of it.”
“And if one day, you tire of me? If you realize you could have a more beautiful, more desirable partner who would also understand and love the real you? If you realize that you could literally have the most beautiful-“
Your words die as lips are pressed against yours, insistent but not rough. He pulls away.
“I needed to shut you up,” he says. “You’re speaking nonsense about my darling, and I will not have it.”
“I’m not special,” you hiss, at last finally managing to get the words out. This venomous thought had been in the back of your mind ever since you had gotten together, but was only voiced now. It was never just him who was insecure about the relationship.
“Right you are,” he acquiesces, “but neither is anyone else.”
“No one deserves better. We aren’t owed anything.” This he knows from experience. His hand finds yours, and takes the ring back. He holds it between thumb and forefinger, peering at it.
“But you are the one who was put in my path, darling. You’re the one I love. None of those other what ifs matter,” he adds, his hand taking yours and slipping the ring on.
You glance down at the ring and sigh. It is indeed, gorgeous.
“I won’t find someone better. Someone younger. Someone- whatever-“ he waves a hand dismissively.
“One, we’ll find a way for you to live forever. Two-“ and he holds up a hand.
“wah wah all girls care about is astarion wah” yeah you know what? i cant imagine why women gravitate toward a character who feels like they are only worthy of attention if they’re sexualized and are under constant pressure to be a sexual being due to a traumatic experience that made them think that they’re only good for sex and really cannot perceive himself outside of being objectified and serving others. cant possibly have any idea why girls like astarion you know
Ways in which I think Tav shows Astarion love: (SFW)
*Tav is gender-neutral*
Gentle touches to the face.
Cue Tav walking up to Astarion in camp; Astarion greets them with his usual flirtatious greeting and a smirk, asking them if they need anything. Tav just raises their hand and gently brush a loose strand of his hair out of his face and cups his cheek, telling the vampire how they just wanted to see how he was doing.
Astarion is caught off guard, not used to intimate physical touch, ones that don't come with him eventually bedding the other person.
But he relaxes into it, enjoying the warmth of Tav's roughened palm. "I'll alright, now that you are here," he purred.
Hugs, feeling the way Tav wraps their arms securely around his torso.
Since his confession, Tav would occasionally come up to him and ask if they could hug him, always mindful of his consent.
At first, he had no idea as to what to do with his hands when wrapped up in his lover's embrace, uncomfortably stiff. But Tav gently guided his hands to the cusp of their lower back. If Tav is taller than Astarion, they cup the back of his head and leads him to lay it on the top of their chest, right where there heart is. If Tav is smaller, they cradle his face into the side of their neck, chin on their shoulder. Soon, Astarion would need no motivation to snuggle into his lover's chest/neck.
He secretly enjoys Tav's back hugs the best, once he is comfortable enough to let them to approach him from behind. Tav laying their chin on his shoulder and sneaking a cheek kiss if they are taller, or snuggling their face into the back of his armor/shirt with a smile ... It brings a love-sick genuine smile to his pale lips.
Trailing touches along his arms.
Tav usually does this to let him know they are coming up alongside them without causing the vampire to flitch back at their unexpected movement. He likes it even more when he's in his camp clothes and his shirt sleeves are rolled up, allowing him to feel the lingering warmth of their fingers on his cold skin.
Laying beside each other on his and their bedrolls.
They don't even have to say anything, just the two of them staring at each other, memorizing the little details of their faces. Astarion enjoys when Tav runs a finger across his cheekbone and jaw, playfully biting at it as the digit trails over his lips. His favorite feature of Tav's at times like this are their eyes. He can see the affection and love in their eyes as they look at him. It almost makes his undead heart start beating again.
Sleepy cuddles.
Most of the time he's the small spoon, either with his head directly on their chest, their heart beat lulling him into a trance, wrapped up in Tav's warm arms and legs tangled together. Sometimes it's the other way around, with Tav snuggled into the crook of his arm, leg thrown over his and hand on his chest, one of his hands on their lower back. Cuddle sessions tend to happen after a feeding session, even before his confession in Act 2. It eventually starts to become a nightly routine, even if no feeding is involved.
"I like it when you stay with me. I feel safe with you," Tav told him one time when Astarion questioned them on it. Astarion swears he could hear his undead heart beating again.
Tav's fingers running through his hair.
This of course tended to happen when they had their nightly cuddle sessions and during the act of feeding. When feeding, the feeling on Tav's fingers in his hair would ground him as he gave into his sanguine desire, reminding him to not take too much. When cuddling, Tav's fingers served to relax him as the motion of their fingers gently racking across his scalp lulled him into a trance. The act also filled his chest with warmth, which he finally realized was love and admiration after he confessed to Tav.
Waking up next to Tav.
This tends to happen after a feeding session and the subsequent cuddle session (after the confession in Act 2). In the morning, he's either wrapped around Tav with his head buried into the valley of their neck, slowly breathing in their signature scent (not just their blood, but the natural scent on their skin), or he's encased in Tav's arms with his head buried in their chest as they cradle him close. Astarion wants nothing more than to stay in their shared tent together like that all day, but sadly they have to separate or else they will never get those tadpoles out of their heads.
Feeling safe whenever he decides to sleep with no shirt and bare his scars.
The raised flesh on his back where his master carved his sadistic poem - which he then learned was part of an infernal contact that he was going to be sacrificed for - was by far the most traumatic and cruelest torture Cazador inflicted upon him. The slightest touch on his scars would cause him to flinch away and he refused to let anyone touch him there. Taking off his shirt, even in the confines of his own tent, was out of the question.
But with you, he craved the feeling of your fingers trailing shapeless figures on his bare chest, not just over his sleep shirt. He wanted to feel the warmth of your fingers to heat up his cold pale skin over his heart, almost as if it would seep deep into the organ.
When Astarion decided he could lay himself bare to you (figuratively speaking in this sense), he was practically shaking, desperately trying to calm his nerves as Tav slowly brought a steady hand to the spot above his heart. He didn't flitch at the first contact, sighing in content as Tav continued their ministrations.
After this first step, Astarion found that this act played into their cuddle sessions, usually right before Astarion and Tav start their day or before they feel asleep, regardless of a nightly feeding session.
Slowly letting Tav touch his scars.
This would probably take years for him to do, but luckily the both of them have time after the end of Act 3.
It would start with allowing Tav to gently caress the upper edges of his scars closest to his neck and by the small of his back closest to his hips.
For the longest time, that's all he could handle without him having flashbacks to the time they were created and cowering away from Tav's touch.
But Tav understood; they never pressured him nor did they expect to fully being to fully touch his scars. They were content with just skimming lightly across the back of his hip, tracing the spot where his neck met his back. If this is all they were allowed to do, then so be it. They would never push Astarion's boundaries and verbally told him to tell them if they accidently did.
Reading together in silence.
When not off adventuring, Astarion could be found rustling through whatever book he had on hand. Tav noticed this and decided early on to spend some of their downtime to read something quietly alongside him. Astarion teased them about this at first, saying something about how desperate they were to be in his company. As their relationship blossomed, this act continued, with Astarion sitting on a stool scraped up from an abandoned location, book in hand, while Tav lounged against the vampire's pile of pillows outside his tent, a nameless tome also in hand. When this started to become a frequent thing, Astarion frequently caught himself peering over at Tav from the top of his book, silently watching as their eyes skimmed at the runes on the page, the way a finger was used to hold their place in their reading, mind focused on the story in front of them. Astarion liked the sight of them this relaxed and their quiet presenance. After the end of their adventure, when the two decided to remain together, this act becomes a staple way they spend their quality time together. In a townhouse in Baldur's Gate, the two of them could be seen reading quietly next to each other, cuddled in each others arms as a fire rages in the main room's fireplace.
Playing with his fingers and hands.
Whenever they are bored, whether they be at a tavern or listening to a mindless conversation, Tav ends up gently playing with Astarion's hand as it sits idle. Astarion raised an eyebrow the first time he noticed Tav doing this, in which they were silently comparing the sizes of their palms and digits. He never knew gentle touch before, so he was still learning the many different ways Tav show affection through harmless contact. Eventually, he gets used to it, paying absolutely no mind as Tav takes his hand and starts trailing along the roughed fingertips or caressing his knuckles. He finds it comforting, the act silently letting him known that his lover was there for him. He finds it especially humorous when they decide to take a playful nip at his digits, an amused smile on his lips as he jokes "Don't make me return the favor," and returns with a peck on their mouth
Brushing of fingers as they walk side by side (mainly when in the city).
The city of Baldur's Gate was quite populated, making their usually close-quartered party have to repeatedly be cautious as they tried to make their ways through the crowded streets without losing a party member as they occasionally get cut off by passersby.
Astarion was edge the moment they got closed to the city walls, even more so once they made it to the Lower City. He was Cazador's territory now and though he and his spawn could not go out in the daylight, there were other minions of the vampire lord that could be hiding in the busy streets.
The numerous Baldurians constantly impeding their groups way did nothing to help this, as it meant someone usually was temporarily separated from the others and was lagging behind before they could meet back up with the group. Astarion tried to keep a constant eye on Tav, but sometimes they too got swept up in the crowds.
Tav didn't like this either as they too grew slightly worried whenever they lost sight of Astarion as they tried to file through numerous crowds, wanting to keep an eye on the vampire spawn as they drew nearer to his master's residence.
So, whenever they were near each other, Tav made it a routine to gently brush their fingers against Astarion's knuckles to let them know they were beside them, regardless if he could see them or not.
The gentle carassess acted as a soothing balm, calming his heart as he felt the briefest warmth of their fingers on his skin. Sometime he longed to outright take a hold of their hand, but he knew they both needed their hands free in case they were attacked. But he knew one day, after this adventure was over, he would be able to do hold their hand in his as they trail downt eh numerous pathways the city harbors without a care in world, safe from vampire lords and death cults alike.
Cleaning his face after a tough battle.
This man gets dirty after a battle. Blame it on being a vampire or him being a dastardly rogue with a penchant for daggers, but his face is usually covered in blood. Astarion usually just washed his face himself, after sampling a couple of drops onto his tongue, but after their little deed at the tiefling party, Tav has come up to him with a wet rag or sponge to gently wipe away the grim once they made it make to camp. "Here, let me do it for you," they would say. Astarion would try to argue with them, flirtatious jokes and compliments coming out of his mouth, but Tav wouldn't hear it. "Just let me do something nice for you. And how else do you expect to get everything without using a mirror?" Astarion shut up after their little mirror comment, knowing they were right. Also, this nice act being performed on him without expecting some form of repayment? Impossible, surely you want something from him. Yet, it kept happening, again and again, without Astarion having to repay this kindness by sleeping with Tav. And a part of him secretly enjoyed the way the cool rag or sponge gently wiped away the grime on his brow, the scent of berand rosemary filling his lungs as he breathed the mixture of scented oils on the rag/sponge. Though, he would let them know it, until he confessed to them once he realized his true feelings. Then he return the favor, along with peppering Tav's face with numerous kisses to boot.
Words of affirmation, specifically complimenting him on other things than beside his looks.
As he spent nearly 200 years using his good looks and body to seduce victims to bring back to Cazador, the last thing Astarion wants to be reminded of is how handsome he is. He's sick and tired of being seen as nothing but just a pretty face, even if he flaunts his looks to get what he wants. It's more of a bad habit, knowing nothing else but than to manipulate to secure safety. With Tav, they try to remind him that he is more than this, hence the constant affirmations and complements.
For example, his embroidery skills. He's constantly patching up his clothing and once him and Tav officially become a couple, it is likely he starts doing the same for their clothing. Tav gushes over his fine craftsmanship, whether he's embroidering a complex design or just hemming a tear in one of their lounge wears.
Other skills of Astarion that Tav constantly fonds over: his locksmanship ability; his journey to becoming a better man; his soft spot for children and pets; his sass and dark humor; his exceptionally good taste in wine; his genuine laughter and little giggles. This man is usually left speechless at Tav's words, unable to do nothing but leave a flurry of kisses across their face as a soft smile graces his lips.
In all these ways, Astarion has been "I love you" without hearing those 3 magic words from Tav. But it's all he ever need.
