unknown&broken

I come here to escape and have a go at being myself but if I'm honest, I'm not myself.

[wishicouldbeme]

I always wanted to be there for people and that was my downfall because its fucked me up in a lot of ways.

[wishicouldbeme]

Please can someone read this and tell me what it means?

[wishicouldbeme]

People are people and everyone is different.

I need to stop thinking people will react the same way I do.

People are people, and people move on.

[wishicouldbeme]

Seeing all these tarot readings on tiktok of you coming back isn't good for me..

Sigh

[thoughtkick]

“Self care is not selfish or self indulgent. We cannot nurture others from a dry well. We need to take care of our own needs first, then we can give from our surplus, our abundance.”

— Jennifer Loudon

[thoughtkick]

“Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

[wishicouldbeme]

Are you more of a warrior or worrier?

[wishicouldbeme]

The attachment has settled down but it's still there.

I'm still thinking of you and I dont know if that will ever go away. Sometimes it feels so surreal, that we never even happened and I'm just creating this whole thing and all these emotions from nothing.

Does that make sense? Rambling again.

[wishicouldbeme]

It's literally ALWAYS you

[wishicouldbeme]

Previously

I tried to make peace,

Which you didn't believe

Guess it was stupid of me.

[wishicouldbeme]

I found a lump

Dont worry, it was nothing and I'm fine

But at the time, I thought I was dying..

I thought about contacting you to tell you the news.

But would you even care?

[wishicouldbeme]

To me, it wasnt worth the lifetime of pain I'm getting now.

[wishicouldbeme]

Reading the notes on my phone makes me so emotional

[wishicouldbeme]

Do I plaster my wound so it doesn't get infected or not cover it and let breathe?

[wishicouldbeme]

I know logically there are billions of people in the world, but I literally cannot see myself with anyone like I was with you.

[wishicouldbeme]

I re-triggered myself recently and I didnt know I could. Like damn

[wishicouldbeme]

We both gave each other trauma.

I'm still guilty for the trauma I gave you.