Living with an Idea
Being aggressively emotionally neglected in my marriage has wrecked my self esteem and i used to love myself. I used to like the way i looked, be happy with my career, and dream. I don't like looking at myself because I live in an environment where it's not safe to be who i truly am. I am going through the worst experiences of my life, in the worst environment that I've lived in, and I'm married to someone who doesn't show up. I'm sick of constantly over explaining myself to someone who doesn't listen. I don't thin I have anything left in me to want to make my marriage work because I have a literal Masters in communication and a partner that makes me feel so crazy because they don't communicate or listen to me when I do. I'm tired of complete strangers being more emotionally available than my own partner. I'm tired of being financially dependent on a partner who barely knows i exist. It's like you only knew how to love me when I was sick or wasnt yours. Frankly I miss myself, my tiny little apartment, and knowing that I would never neglect to love myself.
