letters & fragments

drifting through quiet moments

[wistdrift-lullaby]

to my bebe boy 💟

I keep daydreaming about what it’s actually going to feel like when I'm in Japan and the distance between us CLOSER. (❁´◡`❁) Gusto ko lang mag daydream sa letter na ibibigay ko sayo and some other thing hehe o(*°▽°*)o

Imagine natin, pag nasa japan na ako, and pag holidays, we will spend it travelling around Japan. Mag-stay tayo sa mga beautiful hotels, tapos magro-roadtrip. Syempre, ako yung passenger princess mo habang nagda-drive ka, tapos naka-blast yung good music natin sa car. Magca-camping din tayo! I swear, we will take a lot of photos para may memories tayo sa lahat ng pupuntahan natin. Kakain tayo ng masasarap na food, lalo na yung favorite gyoza natin tapos madaming mochi! Tapos who knows, maybe we can even travel outside the country together from Japan, diba?

Pero honestly, super excited din ako sa mga simpleng araw lang. Pag marami tayong days off, we will visit each other, and it will really feel like living together again. Pag nag-visit ako sa place mo, we will hug and kiss each other a lot. Imagine naglalaro ka ng Dota sa background tapos nakahiga lang ako sa bed mo, using your phone, and kukulitin kita for hugs and kisses. Tapos pag ikaw naman nag-visit sa akin, ipagluluto kita—tapos syempre puro hugs and kisses na naman tayo the whole time.

At syempre, kahit gaano tayo ka-busy, magvi-video call tayo sa Philippines to check on Luna and Lili. Kakamustahin natin yung mga babies natin to make sure they're in good health and happy.

I can't wait for all of this to happen AND I can't wait to built a quiet, stable life with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I genuinely believe na kahit mag-exist pa tayo sa ibang universe with entirely different laws of nature kahit na dahil sa evolution and speculative biology ay maging completely different beings tayo sa isang alien planet, yung pull ko towards you will still be a constant. Hahanapin at hahanapin pa rin ng atoms ko yung atoms mo hehehehehe Anywaysss, diba light takes time to travel? Whenever you look up at the night sky, you are literally looking into the past ng mga stars. Kung pwede lang tayo mag-instantly teleport a million light-years away, tumayo sa ibang planet, and look back at Earth through a giant, super-powerful telescope... we wouldn't see Earth as it is right now. Makikita natin siya a million years ago. We would see a version of Earth kung saan yung mga taong matagal nang wala ay naglalakad pa rin and very much alive. And kung nag-teleport tayo just a few light-years away and looked back? We could look through that telescope and literally watch our own past nung una tayo magkakilala HAHAHAA or mapapanuod natin yung sarili natin before we met. Pwede nating panuorin yung sarili natin living our lives and falling in love all over again, na nagpe-play out parang isang movie sa stars. HEHE

Anyways, Happy monthsary my baby love so sweet 😃🤣🤣 I love you so so so much! 💟 From you wife, Lea love love💟🌹

[wistdrift-lullaby]

Happy 2nd Anniversary 💜💜💜

"Show a little loving .. Shine a little on me"

I can’t believe two years na tayo. Looking back, there are so many things I genuinely love and appreciate about us. I really cherish our simple moments together... kahit magkalayo tayo, just watching anime, or just hanging out sa Google Meet.

I know hindi tayo perfect, and sometimes our relationship is far from ideal. I know our relationship feels stagnant lately, but my biggest hope is that we don't let this phase win, and instead work together to bring back our spark and excitement. At the end of the day, ang gusto kong panghawakan is our love for each other. I just want us to work on making sure we both really feel that love every day, even when we are miles apart.

As our relationship grows, natural lang that we learn the things we don't like about each other, and I realize that is completely normal. One of the things I hate siguro is when there’s a lack of assurance hahaha. Please know that giving those little assurances is so important to me, kahit walang nangyari or whatever, just to give peace of mind and save us from unnecessary fights. Pati na rin sa pagdo-Dota mo...palagi lang naman nandiyan ang Dota at hindi 'yan mawawala :)

We've had our fair share of away, tampuhan, at sama ng loob, but I really hope this marks a fresh start for us. Whenever we fight, please remember na I am never your enemy... magkakampi tayo dito. Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya ka at masaya ako. Hindi naman ako mahirap pasayahin, alam mo naman 'yan...just your genuine time, your attention, and knowing that you are making an effort for us is already enough to make me feel loved. Minsan kaya ako nanghihingi ng reassurance is just because there are times when the distance makes me feel a little unloved, and I just need my favorite person to remind me that everything is okay.

I will always keep choosing and loving you, as long as you keep choosing and loving me too. Please let me feel and know that sometimes. I wish that our love will grow even more, and sana magkita na tayo soon. I am really wishing to the universe na makapunta na ako sa Japan para hindi na lang tayo sa screen nagkakasama.

I wish for more years together and a lot more dreams to achieve with you. I also wish for more photos with you i always feel like we don't have enough photos/memories together haha. I love you patrick -lea

P.S sharing a lot of the songs that i liked and been listening, most of these are my feelings hehe. i hope you listen to all of them.

Eto yung kantang nadiscover ko nung nagaway tayo na pinapakinggan ko hahaha :)

Also, bringing back this song that we liked.

Just Hush - Masiram Feat. Paul Royale

Masiram (featuring Paul Royale)Written & Performed by Just Hush & Paul RoyaleProduced by Pino GMixed by Don SyMastered by Marcus Davis Jr. @

[wistdrift-lullaby]

2026, for me

as i write this, i'm crying. crying because i’ve realized how much i’ve asked of myself, how often i’ve forgotten to be gentle with the one person who’s always been here—me. this year, i want to take myself seriously. not in a harsh way. in a soft, caring one. i want to earn more money, not just to have it, but to feel safe, less anxious, less stretched thin. to stop feeling guilty for wanting comfort and stability. i want to dress better, not to impress, but to feel like myself when i step outside. to wear things that remind me i deserve effort, that remind me i am worthy. i want to take care of my hair. treat it gently. stop rushing it, pulling it, ignoring it. let it be healthy, not just present. i want to take my health seriously. not through extremes. not through punishment. just through small, steady choices that honor my body. most of all, i want to be soft and gentle with myself, with this very body that carries me every day, that loves me and has been here since i was born. i don’t want to lose myself this year. i want to be confident in my own skin, the quiet kind that doesn’t need permission, the kind that knows when to rest, when to speak, when to walk away. i want to feel pretty again. not in comparison. not for anyone else. but in a way that feels natural, private, and real. this year isn’t about becoming someone new. it’s about coming back to myself, more grounded, more secure, more sure. to build a life that feels stable, to take care of the body i live in, and to love myself without guilt.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

another year with you

another year with you, and somehow, we’re still here. hindi naging perfect ang taon na to. hindi rin tayo perfect, pero we stayed and for me, that matters more than anything else.❣🤗 salamat sa pagpili sa’kin kahit sa mga quiet, boring, ordinary days. sa mga araw na tahimik ako. sa mga araw na pagod ako. sa mga araw na hindi ko pa alam paano ipaliwanag yung nararamdaman ko. salamat sa patience mo habang naggo-grow ako. sa pagmamahal mo sa’kin hindi lang kapag okay ako, kahit sobrang mahirap, pero saan ka ba makakahanap na relasyon na perpekto diba? 😁 ang importante ay pinipili natin isa't isa araw araw

another year with you means staying, being honest even when it’s uncomfortable, choosing each other on the hard days too, tandaan mo🙄 and growing side by side without losing ourselves.

this year, i’m wishing for more time together. for trips we’ve talked about, for walking side by side in japan seeing places not just as tourists, but as us

i’m wishing for ipon na sabay nating bubuuin, small sacrifices that will lead to something bigger, dreams that will slowly feel more possible because we’re doing them together.

i’m wishing for a future we don’t rush, but still move toward with intention. a life we build patiently, with trust, effort, and love that chooses to stay.

praying to all gods and goddesses and the universe to let me see you soon, to keep us steady, and to guide us where we’re meant to go.

with so much love, lea.💟

[wistdrift-lullaby]

hello 2026

i want to be kinder to my body. not just when it looks the way i want, but when it’s tired, when it’s changing, when it carries me through days i don’t talk about. kinder to my past. to the version of me who did the best she could with what she knew at the time. i don’t want to punish her anymore for surviving. this year, i’m choosing softness as strength. routine as love. staying as much as starting. learning that consistency can be gentler than reinvention. i want to build a life that feels quiet but full. not rushed. not loud. a life with mornings that don’t feel like emergencies and nights that don’t feel like escapes. i want to love without losing myself. to choose my partner every day while still choosing my own voice, my own space, my own growth. to let love be something that adds, not something that consumes. i want to communicate better. listen without preparing my defense. speak without fear of being “too much.” love in a way that feels safe for both of us.if i change, i hope it’s slowly. if i heal, i hope it’s honestly. if i fail, i hope i don’t abandon myself because of it. i hope i stay. i hope i forgive. i hope i try again.to stop leaving myself behind, even when life gets messy, even when love gets complicated, even when i’m still learning.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[wistdrift-lullaby]

another month, still my person 💟

to my favorite person in this world, I just wanted to write you something small today, hehe.

Thank you for being the person you are, and for loving me through everything — kahit minsan I know I’m hard to love talaga 😅. Thank you for making this difficult year feel softer. I also ask for more love and patience on our bad days, please… and promise me you won’t ask me to give up, kasi that really makes me sad. I’ll do my best to do the same for you.

With everything in me, I miss you every day — sincerely, endlessly, intensely. For sure you don’t even know that kasi hindi mo naman ako nami-miss… charot HAHAHA.

I can’t help but think about our future, and I honestly can’t wait for our plans to happen. I want to travel with you — Japan and the rest of the world — and I hope you feel the same way. Minsan feeling ko hindi mo ako ka–same wavelength 😂 charot. Anyway, ang dami ko talagang gustong gawin in this lifetime, and I want to do all of it with you.

I hope we keep choosing each other until the very end, kasi hanggang kailan pa ba? At para saan pa ‘to kung hindi hanggang huli, diba? HAHAHA. We will have our bad days, and there will be moments when it’s hard to love each other, but I hope we never stop trying, never stop choosing each other, and never stop growing together.. sana.

I found this song “Ang Pag-ibig ay Kanibalismo,” and I think it kinda describes how I love you. Medyo twisted, pero totoo 🤣. I feel things deeply, and I’m a sensitive person, so maybe that’s why. But that’s how real it is for me. I pray to the stars to let me go to Japan soon, just so I can see you…and work there of course HAHAHA and kiss you and hug you again hehe

With my whole heart, — Lea

[wistdrift-lullaby]

hugs to myself

sometimes i just sit and think, and it hits me. i genuinely pity myself. not in a “woe is me” way, but in a “god, i deserve every ounce of kindness this world can give” way. after everything, the trauma, the tragedy, the regrets that burn holes in my memory, things i never speak of except to the people i trust with my life… i’ll carry them until the day i die. they pop up in my head like quick, sharp flashbacks, as if my own brain is scolding me for trying to forget. and yet… somehow, i’ve learned to live with it.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

for my patrick that i love the most! 💌

I really like this first song! Pakinggan mo to habang nagreread ng letter ko! 😂

This is our first monthsary apart 😂 This is not your first time having a long distance relationship, and neither is it mine. Pero kahit ilang ulit pa, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being far from the person I love. I can handle the distance, sure. I can go through the calls, the missed hugs, the waiting. But what I’ll never get used to… is not having you right next to me when I need you most. Yung hindi kita mahawakan when I’m tired or kiss hahaha. I miss having you just there playing dota while I work. Thank you for being patient with me always, for dealing sa mga kadramahan ko, I know it’s hard for you when I get impulsive with my emotions…for staying even when I’m being a little too much, or too quiet, or just... weird.😂 Thank you for showing up, even when it’s hard. For loving me when I’m not so lovable. For listening to all my random rants, my late-night overthinking, my mood swings, and everything in between. I know I’m not the easiest person to love all the time but you still do, and that means the world to me. Sabi nga nila, happy wife, happy life hahaha 😆 I want to do a lot of things in this life with you. Sana ikaw din, with me. I want to do the little things with you. the quiet, domestic, ordinary moments and the big things too. I want us to save up together, to travel to places we’ve never been, I want you beside me through all of it. 😊💌💌 Sorry for being insecure sometimes. Sorry kung minsan ang kulit ko, o kung sobrang clingy na. Minsan kasi natatakot ako na baka hindi ako sapat, na baka may ibang mas madali mahalin kaysa sakin, na baka mapagod ka. But I’m trying. I’m learning to trust more, to love better, and to be softer with myself kasi alam kong deserve mo rin ng pagmamahal na hindi puno ng takot. Deserve mo ng peace, hindi gulo. Deserve mo ng partner, hindi tanong. And I want to be that. I want you to believe in me. that I’m trying. Always. Trying to be softer with my words, to be slower with my reactions, to be kinder to myself so I can love you better, too. Trying to understand, to stay calm, to love you in the ways you need. But… di lang ako dapat. It shouldn’t be just me. not just me reaching out every time there’s distance between us. Because love.. real love. means meeting halfway, choosing each other over and over, even when it's inconvenient, even when it's hard. Pero madami pa tayo mapagdadaan, magtitiis ka pa hanggang sa matanda at mamatay na ko, Isipin mo yun… we are together in this world, even though we are just a blip of existence. Out of all the people, all the places, and all the moments that could’ve happened—we still found each other. Sa laki ng mundo at sa ikli ng buhay, tayo pa rin yung nagtagpo. Isn’t that something? We’re small, temporary, just passing through this life… pero kahit ganun, this love we have feels so big, so real, so worth it. And if this life is just a fleeting moment in the vastness of everything, then I’m grateful that I get to spend this moment with you. Kahit saglit lang, basta ikaw yung kasama ko, okay na ako. Because even if we’re just a tiny part of the universe, you’ve already become my whole world. And imagine all the things we will experience together. I’m so excited—just thinking about it makes me smile. Yung mga unang lakad natin na matagal nating pinagplanuan, yung first time na mahawakan kita ulit after all the waiting, yung mga gabi na hindi na kailangan ng good night video call kasi finally, magkasama na tayo. I’m excited for the slow days when we can just exist in the same space, and the loud ones filled with laughter and stories we’ve only shared through screens. Lahat ng "sana soon" natin magiging "finally." And even now, habang malayo pa tayo sa isa’t isa, I’m already treasuring every little moment—every call, every message, every effort—because I know we’re building something real. And one day, all this distance will just be a memory. One day, it will be you and me, in the same place, living the life we kept dreaming about.

I can't wait to be with you in japan hehe. I love you always and always! 💌💌💌💌💌💌💌 P.S Gusto ko ng bucket list, written somewhere. Isip tayo minsan 😂😂

I remember this song nung mga first weeks natin together hehe

[wistdrift-lullaby]

life is just what we make out of it, all the good, all the bad, it's just all part of our blipping existence, might as well, do what makes you happy. because this is the only life we get, no second life, nothing, when we're dead, that's it.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

Japan, please wait for me.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

25 posts!

[wistdrift-lullaby]

one year down, and forever to go with my patrick <3

A short playlist!

Tag-lish na lang para mas dama mo ng onte lol.

I think there was this one decision that led me to you. Just thinking about it, nakaka-amaze yung fate, when our strings finally appeared! :)

It was when I started in MKAI, last year, when I courage up and reported Weng kay Eric and she got kicked out and you were hired as a replacement. Akalain mo yun hahaha. And the first time I saw you was nung pagpasok and you were watching Eric na magturo. Nasa likod ako, on the right side and you entered sa class and you were sitting at the back rin pero sa middle. AND I REMEMBER you were asking me for a wipes kasi pupunasan mo yung table, I mean I get it, madudumi yung mga classmates ko like their personality hahaha.

Anyways, I really did find you pogi nung una palang but I won't really admit kasi man-hater pa ko non. And you even make puna sa writing ko ng jikoushoukai kasi maliit, and you asked me if nababasa ko. HAHAHA cute mo pag naaalala ko yon HAHAHA. Madami talagang nagkakacrush sayo nun and ayaw ko makipag kompetensya sa iba hahaha hanggang tingin lang ako, kaya akala ko, I will keep that small feeling sa heart ko. Dapat student mo ko eh, kung pinili ko lang magstart over sa ibang class, pero sa tingin mo ba you will pursue me kahit student mo ko? Kasi feeling ko hindi? hahaha that's why my decision na magstay sa MB34, again led me to you. Then fast forward nung birthday namin ni Eric nung nag samgyup kami, he called you, and I swear, kilig talaga ako non, super shy ko kasi inaasar ako sayo ni Eric, but if you only knew yung ngiti ko non hahaha, alam nila ahira yon. Nung nag-inuman sa school dahil birthday ni Eric and madaming tao, and you were there grabbing food. I was worried nga na mas matangkad ako sayo e. And dun ka sa likod namin na table sa gitna since nagsasarili kami ni ahira hahaha. you were drinking with mga senpai and yung other girls. Okay lang naman nung time na yon. HAHAHA, crush palang naman kita lol pero pag iniisip ko yun ngayon, i would definitely flip the table HAHAHA charot. Anyways lumabas pa tayo nun, yung parang kainan na may tumutugtog ng banda, tapos tinawag ka ni ahira from the other side of the long table, ewan ko ba dun tapos kumanta sya and nirecord mo pa nga sa phone mo hahaha. Tapos nagselfie tayo nun and hiningi ni Mecha yung IG mo tapos finallow ka namin, then dun na natapos yung encounter nating dalawa. I decided to go back to dorm when you guys left, tapos eto di mo pa ata alam to, I was in 7/11 near MKAI buying something, water ata yun hahaha then from the inside I saw you walking, passing by with some girls hahaha headed pabalik ata ng MKAI, idk. I was wondering where you guys headed, nagpatagal pa ko onte so you guys wouldn't see me. i was uncomfortable that time that's why I decided na I won't have a crush on you anymore HAHAHA dramatic talaga ante mo jan sa 7/11. HAHAHA I was actually surprised when you PM'ed me on IG. I was really kilig kilig deep down. I wasn't really expecting us to hit it off like that. Calling and talking random things until makatulog while still leaving the call on na umabot ng 10 hours. I remember you, na itry ako ihatid sa dorm kasi kasama si Eric non. And after non we called then you asked me if pwede ka manligaw and I immediately said yes hahaha tapos natawa ka sabi mo pagisipan ko pa, but I said Yes anyways, because why would I say no to someone I like. Then we went on a date, and did the deed kaagad HAHAHA and then sinagot na kitaaa. I'm so happyyyy. We got to know each other then found out rin that I was friend with Monique which is a relative of yours, I mean what a small world right? and when you were training in Calamba in PNTC, I was just 45 minutes away from you, studying college in Cabuyao, again what a small world right. hahaha. Anyways, masyado ng mahaba tong letter ko for you, sana basahin mo parin <3 Pero last na, may sasabihin pa ko hahaha.

I know we’ve had our ups and downs. Maybe at times, things got a little boring, and we’ve faced some of our worst fights. But no matter what, I am always willing to go through everything—with you. Only you.

I am truly grateful that you barged into my life. We won’t always be happy, but at least we’ll always have each other. We may not be perfect people, but are we perfect for each other? Most definitely.

To the gods out there, I hope they bless us an happy abundant life! Here’s to always being enough for one another and to many more years ahead on this life. To more movie marathons, binge-eating, lazy days, travels, and love with you. Mahal na mahal kita, from the bottom of my heart. <3

[thewritingumbrellas]

Writing advice from my uni teachers:

If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.

Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.

Before you write your novel, write a page of anything from your characters POV so you can get their voice right. Do this for every main character introduced.

[writerlyn]

This is legit good writing advice, especially the first bullet point! In playwriting class we did a bit where every bit of dialogue had to be an accusatory question and it was glorious.

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Kriti G.

[icaruspendragon]

sometimes writing self-indulgent fanfic means making your two favorite idiots be even more stupid and unaware and sometimes writing self-indulgent fanfic means making your two favorite idiots so emotionally intelligent that if my therapist were to read it he’d wonder why I’m still the way I am.

[wistdrift-lullaby]

and here's another thing: I still can’t wrap my head around how someone can cheat. Just the thought of it makes me feel sick. How do you hurt someone like that and still sleep at night? How do you do that to someone who trusts and loves you? How do you stomach it? If you have even half a brain, the most logical thing to do is leave. Walk away. End it. And then go do whatever you want — at least you won’t be dragging someone’s heart through the mud. But instead, they choose to lie, to ruin someone else’s peace, and for what? For something temporary? For selfishness? I don’t get it. I really don’t. I will never understand how someone can be that cruel and call it love.