Estra

Some kind of fucked up she/her boyfriend, 20's, sleeeeepy. I made it up to the top of this cozy tower and I am *not* coming down.

[a-walking-fandom-reference]

this blog is brought to you by autism

[random-meme-bot]

* Draws the autism creature on the screen as if it was the Disney Channel logo *

[bettedavisgf]

[mswyrr]

The thing about fandom is that there's a lot of erotica (valid) and romantic drama/angst and fluff (also valid), but a deep disdain (and use of some truly gross victim blaming and misogynistic rhetoric) against Romance as a genre. It's a centuries old genre that was created largely for and by women. The mainstream disdains it too, and fandom often uses the same misogynistic and victim blaming rhetoric.

In particular, conflict, transformation, and positive growth of individuals in the context of a corrupt or somehow flawed society which often adjusts/grows in some way due to them is core to the 8 essential elements scholar Pamela Regis argued define the Romance novel in her influential study on the topic, "A Natural History of the Romance Novel":

That is what I'm here for with love stories. I can like tragic ones too - but I really love *that*. (And when I love a tragic one it's because i believe *that* was possible for the characters and the tragedy is that they lost it). A couple on growth arcs where their growth relates to the larger issues of their society.

I like Elizabeth Gaskell's "North and South" more than "Pride and Prejudice" and "Perusasion" is my favorite Austen for this reason. (Though P&P works this way, too, the wider social impact isn't made as clear)

(And all of this is why, despite being a valid thing to enjoy, Dark Romance is largely not actually Romance in terms of genre!)

In particular - my sexual/romantic buttons are odd enough that a lot of that part of things doesn't work for me at all. The majority of erotica (a valid art form!) bores or squicks me. Most of the specific ways Romance novels are done (in terms of sex and gender) don't work for me. (But that doesn't make them invalid). I specifically am drawn to stories with emphasis on the transformation and positive change stuff because it's what works for me reliably as a narrative even if other stuff doesn't. When I find a story that works, I cherish it.

It's awkward that fandom, especially with the Wholesome/Toxic Binary, is actively like - against the thing I like. Because transformation and growth is problematic? People should either be nonstop "green flags" and have no conflict and need no growth or pure "toxic" dirtybadwrong and never grow because it's considered immoral (?) to explore positive change.

The demands for no conflict and nonstop "green flags" can be particularly intense around f/f - Catradora is one of the truest canon f/f Romances to me, in terms of structure and symbolic power and transformation, and people have not ceased to talk shit about it from the moment it aired.

But with that stuff gone, there's little left for me besides a whole lot of erotica that does nothing for me and romantic drama/angst/fluff without growth and change that wearies me. Transformation and growth is the magic that I love. That "society defined" #1 thing from Regis (and the way a Romance must address it) is not optional for me, it's something that brings me such joy I've worked to find it even though the majority of ways it's often done doesn't work for me.

[mswyrr]

Coffee shop fluffy aus where everyone is ✨️perfect✨️ and doesn't need to change or grow? I have no interest in that.

Dark fic where everyone is Toxic and there's no character growth or only a corruption arc? Ditto. Zero interest.

Erotica? Literally never or so rarely ever going to be about anything that I'm actually interested in that it's not worth bothering. Don't care. Actively squicked by "reader" fic and block the tags for it.

Fantasies of ideal perfect green flag lovers? I'm married to the love of my life, I don't want or need that!

Fantasies of sexy dark toxic lovers? See also: my tastes are never catered to or so rarely it's not worth mentioning.

All of that is valid! But people who like it being insulting toward Romance is really absurd to me. And represents a deep internalization of mainstream disdain and misogyny and victim blaming.

When I'm into a love story, i'm here primarily for the core thematic and symbolic power of the centuries old Romance genre. The power of transformation and growth. Including redemption arcs.

The same way my mother-in-law likes Mysteries where the crime gets solved at the end. It's a genre with specific narrative pleasures. As scholar and Romance writer Jennifer Crusie put it - mysteries are a fantasy of justice, and Romances are a fantasy of emotional justice. I would also say that, for me, they're about Jungian ideas of union and psychological wholeness/healing.

If people want to be shitty about growth or redemption arcs, then, like - for me, there's little of interest left. Even all the tragic romances I like are enjoyable to me because I can see the shape of how the characters might have had a Romance. My favorite fic I've ever written is my Sydcarmy fic because I was able to follow all the components of a Romance.

I cited Tam Lin in one of the pivotal chapters of that fic because it's about the same thing - a heroine seeking and wanting and wrestling what she wants from a cruel world.

It's this:

And this

And this

People don't have to be into that. But the disdain for it is about misogyny, full stop. It's not different from any other genre. It's no more to blame for social problems than you can say any genre is, no more "problematic" in its core genre components.

I return again to Regis, who it has been so refreshing to re-read

This genre (when it works for me) and stories associated with it (ones where I see that potential or narrative power broken or buried) make me happy. The core of it makes me want to write, despite how time-consuming and difficult that can be as an adult with a career and family obligations. To love something that much and feel so energized by it despite the horrors of the world and how draining life can be is a tremendous gift.

[larval-tear]

my idiot minion ordered gender change traps for my megadungeon instead of sex change ones so now there are a bunch of adventurers wandering around physically unchanged but with wicked dysphoria

[witchestower]

Thank you user larval-tear for this post

[chongoblog]

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

[chongoblog]

[a-tian]

[i-still-am-distantstarlight]

The Ides of March, coming soon to a coliseum near you. Knives not included.

[mageless]

🔪🔪🔪

Free knives!!! Take one on your way down the dash!

[ur-local-chaos-gremlin]

yea so i saw

holup smt's flashing behind my keyboard

😧

[ur-local-chaos-gremlin]

oh hey i've just remembered a cool blog @ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign(s)

[snailkites]

2007 eBird gem

[karpad]

This Black History Month, reflect for a moment on the fact that George Washington Carver, famously "the inventor of peanut butter and more than 100 industrial uses for peanuts" wasn't, like, Doc Brown fucking around in his garage because he really liked peanuts but was specifically trying to introduce larger use of a nitrogen fixing legume into crop rotations against cotton monoculture which was destroying yields, livelihoods and the biosphere, and how most agribusiness farming now just destroys that topsoil on purpose and continues to grow a cotton monoculture (or soy or corn or whichever local monoculture is profitable) using petrochemical derived fertilizer, which is one element driving climate change

Daniel Hale Williams performed the first successful heart surgery. He also founded the first nonsegregated hospital in America because he was keenly aware of disparate health outcomes by race which is still a problem today.

WEB Dubois was a part of the delegations for the birth of the UN. His proposal to include in the charter that "the colonial system of government … is undemocratic, socially dangerous and a main cause of wars" was not adapted for the final draft. We might see inaction against colonial violence to this day as part of the failure of others to heed his warnings there.

I feel like so often when we look at Black History Month so much of it is driven by factoids but when taken as history in context its about a direct line from decades and centuries to what is happening right now.

[qqchurch]

new year's resolution!!!

[crystalcrossing-remade-deactiva]

shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

[allegedly-human]

As is tradition in tumblr culture the locals unearth the corpse of a long deceased figure and drag it across the streets merrily, laughing at what is preserved of the person’s words. This custom, seen as morbid in other cultures, is instead done gleefully and with an unmatched enthusiasm

[prokopetz]

The existence of the winter solstice is a great thing in principle because misery really is easier to bear when you know for a fact that it won't last forever, but the fact that it's on a precise timetable makes it weird. Knowing that it's going to keep on getting steadily worse for exactly nine days and fourteen hours and not a moment longer creates some strange behavioural incentives, is what I mean to say.

[prokopetz]

We can joke all we like about how weird this or that midwinter tradition is, but sitting here clockwatching the turning of the fucking heavens, I get it. Putting a horse skull on top of your head and running around randomly challenging your neighbours to rap battles until they give you free booze to make you go away is a completely rational response.

[ahamkara-apologist]

if Eido used emoticons would she ::) or (oOuOo). this is a very important question. to me

Delighted to let you know that we have a canon explaination for this! It's the second one- there was an Enigma Protocol ending in Echoes where she goes ^^_^^

[ahamkara-apologist]

if Eido used emoticons would she ::) or (oOuOo). this is a very important question. to me

Delighted to let you know that we have a canon explaination for this! It's the second one- there was an Enigma Protocol ending in Echoes where she goes ^^_^^

[ahamkara-apologist]

if Eido used emoticons would she ::) or (oOuOo). this is a very important question. to me

Delighted to let you know that we have a canon explaination for this! It's the second one- there was an Enigma Protocol ending in Echoes where she goes ^^_^^

[ahamkara-apologist]

if Eido used emoticons would she ::) or (oOuOo). this is a very important question. to me

Delighted to let you know that we have a canon explaination for this! It's the second one- there was an Enigma Protocol ending in Echoes where she goes ^^_^^

[bobwess]