There are some spirits and gods in the worlds that really must be approached with the correct offering, or will be very offended if you bring the wrong one. This post is not about them.
Thanks goes to @river-in-the-woods for help proofreading and providing additional perspectives
Spirit and deity work is a huge part of my deal, and therefore so are offerings. When I help people with various spirit issues or perform divination that suggests a spirit wants to contact them, I usually recommend giving offerings as a first step.
This usually creates a lot of questions, like:
I don’t want to worship them, so I’m not comfortable with offerings.
I only want to work with spirits I don’t need to pay.
What kind of offerings are OK? I can't afford to buy extra stuff right now.
I can’t have a shrine or leave food sitting out so it’s not possible for me to make offerings.
The reasons why offerings are given change from culture to culture, and situation to situation. I personally see offerings as being one of two things: good manners, or equivalent exchange.
How to do so comes after the saucy radio dialogue and the fairy tale.
Your grandma comes over. She was just on a 5 hour flight to come visit you. She comes in through the front door. You offer her some water and a snack.
Offering grandma water and a snack isn’t a form of worship or payment. It’s polite and respectful. It took her a lot of energy and effort to come and see you. Her well-being and comfort are important to you (in this hypothetical, of course).
When I drive 10 minutes to see my best friend, she always offers me tea. She’s not paying me for my friendship – she’s happy I came, she wants me to be comfortable, and it’s a sign of mutual respect. “I value your presence; I’ll offer you some tea.”
If my friend stopped offering me tea, I’d wonder if our relationship was doing OK – and if she explained to me she was out of money, or she’s doing a no-tea challenge, we’d be perfectly good.
But if you greet grandma empty-handed and say you don’t think it’s your job to provide her meals, the situation feels a little different. It feels to me as if grandma might not be as interested in making the trip to see you next time.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I’m going to bury some stuff. I just did ritual and an important part is burying the remnants at the crossroad.”
“Right on, we’re the spirits of the crossroad, so you came to the right place.”
“Yeah, so you’ll be opening the gates of the four directions and delivering my spell to manifestation, right?”
“Are you going to, uh… pay us for that service?”
“I don’t see why I should.”
“But you need us to open the gates for you. We have to spend our own energy to do this work. I mean it’s not terribly difficult, but still.”
“Yeah, but I don’t see why that should be on me.”
“Not even a tip? Have you got some change in your pocket?”
“To be honest, I don’t think it’s fair to me to have to pay.”
“So you want us to work for free?”
“You don’t care what it costs us to do this work for you, you just want to take the fruits of our services without regard for us?”
“And we should do it because you feel it's unfair to have to pay us for our work?”
“And if others told you that you must donate your labor to give them what they want because it's unfair to give you a wage, this would be…”
“A huge injustice. This is actually a major problem in my country right now. We are so underpaid for what is demanded of us that it really is hurting my mental health and wellbeing. You have no idea how hard it is to be exploited for someone else’s prosperity. I kind of feel like one day I might just go off grid and refuse to be a part of their system.”
The Quality of Offerings Are Relative
The fairy queen Medb was curious about the humans beyond the Greenwood, so she decided to meet them all, from the wealthiest noble to the poorest villager, and to give a gold coin to the kindest one. Before she left, she cloaked herself in a human disguise and dressed as if she were a hardworking seamstress.
First she went to the house of a rich farmer who owned herds of cattle. She knocked on the door and was greeted by the mistress of the house, Frau Hilda.
Medb said, “I am a traveler and the road has been long, may I have some water?”
Frau Hilda kindly invited Medb inside. She sat the queen down at her large, clean table in her warm and cozy kitchen. Frau Hilda went to the larder. Medb could see that her larder was overflowing enough with fine wine, cheeses, and sausages to serve an army. Frau and fetched two jugs of milk and two loaves of bread. One of the jugs of milk was thin, and the loaf of bread was dry. The second jug of milk was thick, as if it was pure cream, and the loaf of bread was hot and fresh.
“Here, have some milk and bread,” Frau Hilda said. “It is much better than water, and will restore you from your travels.” Frau Hilda poured a glass of each milk, and handed the queen the thin milk and old loaf. Frau Hilda herself drank the rich, delicious milk and ate the hot bread.
“This is much better than water, and I thank you for your kind generosity,” agreed Medb.
The two women spoke kindly and politely to each other. Medb learned about the wealth and prosperity of the farmer and his household. They spoke until Medb finished her thin milk and old bread. As she left, Medb thought to herself that the thin milk and old bread, although better than water, were the poorest things in the larder. She kept her gold coin to herself, and walked down the road.
The next day, Medb came upon the hovel of a poor woodcutter and his wife. She knocked on the door and was greeted by Frau Brunhild.
Medb said, “I am a traveler and the road has been long, may I have some water?”
Just like Frau Hilda, Frau Brunhild kindly invited Medb inside. Frau Brunhild’s kitchen was small and cramped. She went to her larder and Medb could see it was almost empty. It only held a bag of flour, a scrap of bread, and a jug of water.
Frau Brunhild brought out the water and bread. “I am sorry I don’t have any milk for you,” Frau Brunhild said. “But let us share in what little we have.”
Frau Brunhild poured Medb some water and gave her one-third of the bread. “We must save some for Mister Brunhild,” she explained.
“I thank you for your generosity,” said Medb. “You show kindness in sharing what you have.” The two women spoke kindly and politely to each other until they had eaten the bread and drank the water. As she left, Medb thought to herself that although it was only water and a little slice of bread, Frau Brunhild had truly offered the best in her larder.
Medb was so moved by this generosity that she returned to the hovel that night, and hid the gold coin in one of Frau Brunhild’s shoes, and after that the Brunhilds always had better prosperity and fortune.
No matter what you have, your best is your best. You do not need to over-spend, give away too much, or sacrifice your wellbeing to give respectful offerings to spirits. If the best you have is a glass of tap water, that is good enough.
What kinds of offerings can you give?
I’m copying this over from my neighborly protection post.
Food and Drink: Good offerings include things with strong tastes and smells, foods high in caloric value, milk, honey, all nuts, eggs, and seeds (things which contain the potential for life are very good offerings), all home cooked/baked foods, fresh water (an especially good offering), coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco, and juices all make very fine offerings.
Perhaps tellingly, the finest or most necessary offering is simply a glass of fresh water (yes, it can be tap water).
Consumables: Incense and candles both make good offerings. Both should be burned. I am actually more wary of using real resins and herbal powders for spirit offerings, since the natural powers of these plants are released and may affect what I’m trying to do (or make it easier or harder for spirits to speak to me, or drive away spirits I’m trying to talk to, or draw in ones I don’t want to talk to). For these reasons I like to use stick or cone incense for offerings. It is the light and warmth from the candle which is enjoyed by spirits so it can be any type or color of candle.
Artwork, fake paper money, origami, and other burnable stuff can be dedicated (another way to think about this is to gift it to them) and then burned. The point is not destruction; the astral essence of these things is released so the spirits can possess them in their world.
Non-consumables: Coins are very common offerings. Small, delightful objects (especially shiny ones), like shells, little figurines, or toys often make good offerings. The act of devoting a ritual tool or vessel to a spirit can be an offering. Things which can be consumed (like cigars or paper art) don’t have to be burned and can be given as regular offerings also.
Energy: Your personal energy is a great offering. You don’t have to give a ton of it away. Try making an energy ball and sending it upwards and away, intending that it reach the spirit you want to give it to. I often like to pattern these gifts into an object, like an energy coin or energy apple.
How do you give physical stuff to a nonphysical being, though?
Lay out the offerings on a clean surface. It doesn’t have to be an altar or a shrine, although I suspect such consecrated places can make it easier for spirits to access and enjoy your offerings. It can be just like setting out a glass of water and half a sandwich for grandma.
Do something which indicates the offering is for the spirits or a specific being. My friend can make me a cup of tea, but if she just sets some tea down on the table and walks away, I’m not going to be sure it’s OK for me to drink it until she says, “this is your tea!”
What you do can be as simple as standing before the offering and saying or thinking, “This is for [names of spirits, or ‘the household spirits’, etc], please enjoy! I’ll come clean it up by noon, enjoy it before then.”
At a minimum I recommend leaving non-consumable offerings out for fifteen or thirty minutes. If it’s a candle or incense, they burn out when they burn out (you do not have to let large candles burn completely, but be careful of promising a candle as a gift to spirits, then going back on that promise and using it for something else). Energy offerings are given instantaneously and no waiting period is necessary.
Whenever you return to clean up the offering, it’s polite to say something like, “thank you for coming by, and I hope you enjoyed! It’s time for me to clean up now. Please return to your abodes; as you came in peace, leave as friends.” I personally like to affirm the purpose of giving an offering - that it’s because I want to be a good neighbor, I want to have solid relationships with the spirits around me, and that I hope we’re all going to be friends. I also like to affirm that although I invited them all to the offering, they should go home now - I wanted you for the BBQ but it’s like 9pm now and we’re going to bed, so you need to go home too.
I throw out food. I compost it if I can. Whether or not you can eat food already offered to spirits is a whole discussion and beliefs vary. My belief is that you shouldn’t eat it after it’s offered.
Other non-consumable objects can be buried if they’re nontoxic to the environment. They can be left on an altar or shrine, and cleared out on a regular basis (like once a full moon, or on holidays).
I mentioned briefly above that I don’t believe you should eat offerings after they’ve been offered. This is a pretty complex topic that does merit discussion.
For example, I sometimes eat the offerings while they’re being offered. I have a close relationship with various spirits, and sometimes I invite them into my body to taste and experience the food and drink I eat.
The reason I don’t prefer to eat offerings after they’ve been offered is that my belief is that the metaphysical substance which supports us as living creatures has been removed and taken away from the spirits. I don’t believe the food would be harmful, but that it also wouldn’t be helpful. To me, throwing the food away isn't a waste because it already fulfilled its purpose.
However, tons of people believe that you should eat food and beverage offerings. This is in order to avoid waste (because after all, even if I say metaphysically the food served its purpose, I’m still throwing away totally edible food). I am advised that in Buddhism, offerings given to ancestors, buddhas, and bodhisattvas aren’t degraded at all, and you can safely eat and drink offerings afterwards (and not doing so would be wasteful). For buddhas and bodhisattvas offerings are just a sincere gesture; the ancestors do get nourishment from food offerings and they greatly benefit from it. Even so, food offered to ancestors is still perfectly wonderful to eat.
In other belief systems, some people think that eating offered food can actually make you sick, especially if it’s offered to the dead. This may be due to a metaphysical change in the food, or because the spirits don’t want to share.
Sometimes, whether or not food is eaten after being offered depends on the type of spirit or god it’s given to; chthonic entities often seem to frown upon their offerings being eaten or shared.
Some believe that food offerings shouldn’t be eaten but neither should they be trashed; they should be burned or buried.
Sometimes, dedicating a food or drink offering to a spirit is a way to bless it under their power. If I dedicate a glass of water to the Indweller of the Sun, it’s understood to be imbued with the virtues of the Sun. If I drink it, it becomes a form of equivalent exchange - I gave something to the Sun, it gave something to me, and this ritual action is completed when I consume the offering.
Given all these varieties of belief, it’s safe to say that you probably can’t go wrong. If you can’t or don’t want to waste food, or it isn’t counter-indicated by your path, eat food offerings.
If you’re especially nervous or worried about what might happen to you if you do eat them, then don’t. Or, avoid the problem altogether by just giving energy or incense offerings.
