Withered Sunday

By DAYVE

[witheredsunday]

𝐘𝐎𝐔,

𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 & 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭….

You are the fear I have of a deep ocean

Yet you’re the comfort I feel when my feet touches ground below

Like a child on a bicycle who’s feet just about

But graze the concrete to keep him steady

You’re the want of a hungry man

The need of a broken home

“Silence, my friend” something you’ll never say

Out of yellow bricked roads, cobblestones or boulders jaded green that fill my mind, you shine through.

I wonder why?

I’d tell you all my secrets in a flash of light, and gain my sanity.

If I did I’d never see you the way I do, and gaining my sanity would mean losing YOU

How and why are you so kind? I see your gestures I hear your voice with a passion.

Can’t you see I’m scared?

How could I tell that it’s you, the muse to my art? When you’ve asked me so many times.

How did I lie? To you?

So when the time comes, and you know it all… promise me you’ll remember The Friend… promise me you’ll remember the new found city Soulmate.. promise me you’ll never ask back…

Promise me.. you’ll remember… you were my fear, you were my comfort.

[witheredsunday]

I’m so done. I’m just tired. Tired of EVERYTHING. Hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

[witheredsunday]

It's Supposed to be fun Turning 21

I should’ve known, should’ve seen every red sail pretrending to be just a flag.

For 4 years we knew each other and every year missed my birthday.

Turned 19, 20, 21 and yet you weren’t there for one, always disappointing and disappearing like all of my fair weather friends.

I waited just like the lines of the song says..

“Watched me watch the front door, all night. Willing you to come” but you never showed.

Minute as that, but I should’ve seen it, the only one that mattered to you was YOU. While the only one who cared about you before himself was me. You hurt me right before 21. Wrote your pieces and played your games and hid another deeper secret that would come back to haunt me.

I played a victim to you in every which way, when all it was, was you gaslighting your way out of a tough situation with the truth of your actions to lead to my salted crimes.

When I fell to the ground, scathed my knee and screamed as I cried that night in June, you didn’t care, no remorse, no sorrow, no-thing.

That 3am pacing with a bruised knee and the sound of my already shattered heart breaking even more when you tread upon it so easily sounded louder to my own ears than my painful screams… “WHY DID YOU DO THIS?”

I remember what you said back to me, “It was an experiment”. Your voice hit like a torment for ages in my ears, you seemed satisfied, seemed like you did justice, you seemed entitled.

And on that day, you bribed your way back to my heart, calling the closest person to me, asking for forgiveness, it wasn’t the sweet treats or anything that landed in my lap that made me take you back, after I dropped you like a bad habit; it was the reason; that in general I couldn’t see a life without you, I couldn’t change my mind to believe I could be happy without you.

Inspite, you hid, never stopped doing the things to hurt but did more and tried new weapons to hurt me, when all you did was hurt us. When all I did was love you.

21 should be a lovely time for every person in their life, I had no clue what happened during mine. Still so latched up on you I couldn’t see reality through my rose coloured glass.

I waited and waited for change to come but it never did.. you never did. A moment of joy was all I wanted, to hear you and see you and just have you, but you never wanted that.

But karma has a funny way of getting back at people, you don’t have to be told how close the 10th falls to someone you lost. You hurt everyone to a point that even the vain curses come true.

And the biggest example of that is your own life.

-DAYVE.

[witheredsunday]

Questions, & Overthinking

Why do we even have to question?

Am I the only one that feels abnormal to question even the questions poised at me or at anything for that matter?

Recently, I had this weird thought, that led to the formation of questions... in all honesty I would love to find the answers for this and give my mind some rest and put away this troubling issue.

So, When a person lies to you about something they had taken the world’s most biggest swear upon, and in some time that lie comes out to the light and puts every single word spoken, or every single phrase, every single promise and every single sentence back into re-perspective and makes you think, if that big of an issue could be a lie which was paraded around for as a banner of truth, what else could be a bigger lie?

Then these questions arise...

Do I want to know the answer to this question?

Do I want to hear a lie just to satisfy my heart?

Do I want to hear the truth, only to break me into a million?

Do I want to question the existence of that infidelity?

And then my dear friend “Overthinking” steps in... I now have to wonder..

Will the person tell me the truth?

Will they lie like they did before?

Will They leave me for being inquisitive?

Do I value myself enough to stay hurt?

Will they be hurt by me asking something from the past? 

It’s like you can never win.

[witheredsunday]

Black Beaches (The Elegy): Explained

Before you get to read this, if you haven't yet heard the song, please do so. you'd get a good view of what i try to convey with this poem turned song.

https://musics.link/BlackBeachesTheElegy

Back in 2018 sometime around January, I was dealing with a serious relationship not working out and me being heartbroken about it.

The pain that I felt was so bad almost as if the person had died from my life.

I decided to move on and carry on with life, also not forgetting the pain and sorrow that I had to endure due to it, being in love was a dream and heartbreak; my reality.

And so i decided to write my feelings away and make it into a poem rather than a song. It never occurred to me for it to be used as a song, but i merely wanted to write out this pain.

so this was the meaning behind 'Black Beaches (The Elegy)'

Black beaches, Water white

Feet in the sand

I dream away

Water gushing up my feet

A new person, with every tide I feel

The sand of the beaches where I stand are black

And the water washing up to shore are of white

Setting up a scene of a dream in a contrast

Though being in the dream, I feel the water hit my feet

As it washes me new and cools my feet makes brand new

Wash me away

I cry to the sea

Take all the memory I wish to keep

You were a good thing I know,

Coz good things never seem to last

Answering my prayers to wash me clean after I’ve cried out loud

The water cleans me by taking all my memories away

Every piece of the person I was before

Every part of the person I was with before

Realizing slowly that what I had was good

But also realizing that nothing good in my life stays for a long time

Blue sky, clear clean

Sun so bright to make me lean

Eyes hurt staring up

Heart-ache and faded love

Looking up to the sky there are no clouds to cover the sun

It is blue and beautiful but painful to glare up to the sun at the same time

The bright sun makes me lean behind covering my eyes

As this contradicts to the pain in my heart, the pain in my chest, the pain in my soul and all over my mind.

And just as the sun goes down everyday, being calm enough to be looked at, so shall my pain fade away.

Tide after tide I created

Wished not to be alone in it

But it washed you away

And somehow that was everything

With the water still hitting my feet I realize that

Every reason I used to keep the person from leaving

Was the very reason the person went away

And somehow making room for my life to exist on it s very own

Realizing that I could make it on my own, was somewhat a comfort I found being alone.

Writing this out as first as a poem to the person I was involved with was my kind of therapy to let go of all the toxicity I may carry within myself, as a matter of fact I was still in love with the person, as they once said to me “You can never un-love a person” and that was right.

So this poem was written about that specific feeling of being crushed, yet waking up with pain to find yourself, knowing that you alone can FIX YOU.

This poem was then shoved deep into my folders on my phone and was lost somewhere, I had eventually decided to make use of it by making it into a song and possibly publishing it for my next album.

Months went by and somewhere in June I woke up finding these chords for no apparent reason stuck in my, I pulled open my laptop and used these chords and basically gave a melody to the poem.

Giving melody was not the hardest part, but working on the song for a finished product was… but it all came together in an amazing way.

Realizing that I would be holding onto a lot of the past I decided to give the song away to be used for my band, rather than keep it in my discography.

The song is now used as an official track by my band S!lent Screams.

https://musics.link/BlackBeachesTheElegy

[witheredsunday]

You and Your God Complex

        Just how I need to be driven by pain to write my songs,

It seems you have to be driven to creativity by our fights... with the petty little things you think to say about me to my face but fall back on it

It’s sad how you think that it’s not okay for me to write songs about you, about what you did to me and how you make me feel, it’s pathetic how you push me away and pretend I don’t exist even after I choose to love you through all the reason given for me to hate you... but somehow when it’s your turn, everyone should believe it’s not being said about them.. and you have all the authority over their reputations! Who made you the king, holding that specific crown?

You can keep talking about how everyone you know somewhat comes off as a pervert or has some thing to do with sex... but sadly the only person that thinks with their ‘other brain’ is YOU. You can’t call someone else a pervert when you talk about sex and dirty things so much over text that even you feel like you could taste the person from the other end.

Your so called detoxing won’t do you any good when your mind is filled with shit... when you go around pretending to be a hero or pretending to be the victim in every which way!

So keep writing and keep showing every petty little creature that reads your pathetic make believe stories about how you and your god complexity get you through the night filled with the so called demons in your head that you yourself create and cry about later.

That isn’t creativity, to launch your petty little thoughts in a petty little way for your little group of “friends” who only visit to read this for the scoop they get out of it.

So yeah... keep going, coz this shit that you keep doing will be the fire under me to keep me going... you see I don’t have to write these small itsy bitsy articles filled with lies and god complexes to get me through.

I’ll hit you when you least expect it. And you’ll remember the name that you tried to scar.

Because at the end... I still chose to keep to myself, still chose to love and not hate, still chose to over look.

Chose to overlook YOU and YOUR GOD COMPLEX

-DAYVE

[witheredsunday]

She drew me, Like she knew me.

She drew me, like she knew me. 

Every line on my face,

Every arch of my flesh.

It was like she had touched to know.

In grades of perfection was her art.

I always wonder how do I tell her this.

She proceeded to take something imperfect,

Make her art like she always did,

And made the imperfection see it.

She, her art and the imperfection

Were among the same..... Lost.

Yet somehow she had made the imperfection,

Seem perfect even in the eyes of the imperfect.

Clearly standing the test of time,

As the perfection would still come up in my mind.

How did she do this so well?

She drew me, Like she knew me.

[witheredsunday]

Who Are You?

Who are you? To write about me like you know me?

Who are you? Do you even know me, or know my soul?

Bathe your words in lies and grow from what you said.

[witheredsunday]

Not the Only One

You’re not the only one that can write. I’m no great writer or songwriter, but i can haunt your very existence with words forever more.

You’re not the only one that can write. As shimmering and shiny as you can be.. it wouldn’t take me long to break you down.

You’re not the only one that has a mind that works... maybe i just don’t share what i feel with you deep within me, in fear of losing out on you, in fear of hurting you!

So you chose your words on white and black to hurt me, so I’ll do the same but make it revolve around you... I’ll haunt you, every song you hear must remind you of me, remind you of how I stuck by you through thick and thin, how I still stick around after what you’ve done.

You would justify your “art” as your thoughtful process and hence expect things to return to normal... but I have a mind too, and you should’ve learned from your mistake. I don’t go down without fight.

So I’ll write, and sing, and show my true feelings that way, make it known to everyone who knows, Coz if you expect me to be fine with what you do, I know you shouldn’t be troubled with what I do with my thoughts.

You’re not the only one.

📷: DAYVE

📍:  Muang Thong Thani, Bangkok, 2018

- DAYVE

[witheredsunday]

Guess not everyone here has brains to read and understand before their inner SJW jumps out... then again not everyone is an SJW with their head far up their asses to even read before vomitting nonsense! XD

[witheredsunday]

P for Perspective

Perspective is a long a word as it is dangerously misunderstood or misinterpreted.

According to google, Perspective means; “a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

You see, even reading something off the internet to create an idea or meaning of a particular word is a perspective.

One time, I had this really great conversation with a good friend of mine.  In this conversation she said, “Your perception of things always change as the years go by.”

That sentence hit me hard and made me realize that “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at also change at the same time.”

Let that sink in, read it again if you have to.

Going off the topic, this might be a rather subjective or sensitive topic to talk about.  The Americans nuking the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki during the second world war is regarded as one of the most saddest events to take place in history.

What you've just read is just the gist of everything. Did you know about the Japanese attacking the American navy at Pearl Harbor, which in turn was the reason why USA was brought into the second world war? Or did you know how days before the nuking, the Americans had issued pamphlets out over to the Japanese cities, earning the people and its government to surrender or face imminent consequences?

Presumably if you’ve delved well into history, you would be know about things like this but here’s the part where perspective kicks in: we fail to see the back story behind everything and claim to know the story line just by reading the headline.

At the end, perspective is all about change and change is all about perspective.

Written by: DAYVE

Conversation with Keerthi

[witheredsunday]

A Glorious Healing

Wounds heal, scars remain as a remnant of what was, of the battles that were fought; of self inflicted wounds and self induced pain

Do your scars still pain from looking at them, or do they actually pain because of the memory attached to them?

From the poisonings of words in your heart, you still choose to stay out from letting the dirt into your heart, doesn’t mean the vile of poison stops from being served to you.

Desolate silence, desolate loneliness becomes your friend, your confidant, your only place of solitude.

But what if there’s another way, of healing;

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[witheredsunday]

Love... or Impending Doom?

Have you ever been in love? No, not just the normal LOVE, love you felt was like from the movies?

You see, ever since I was a young child, movies and music played a huge part in my life... to me, love was accepting, love is transparent, love is beautiful and laid back... somewhat like the warmth of the California sun as it glazes a person’s skin in the summer by the pool.

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Love… or Impending Doom?

Have you ever been in love? No, not just the normal LOVE, love you felt was like from the movies? You see, ever since I was a young child, m