E.V.O.L @withlovejojo - Tumblr Blog

this aged like milk

happy 3rd birthday manic.

I am keeping a secret. I am sucking on it like a lozenge that just won’t get smaller. I am passing it back and forth between my teeth, like a ball on a field between the legs of a bored player. It is not a happy secret, like a diamond in a velvet box in a sweaty pocket. It’s a secret like a loaded gun sewn into the lining of my sweater’s hood, aimed directly for the back of my head. It is a cartoon piano suspended above me. It is a manhole threatening to spontaneously collapse beneath my feet. It is a cloud of noxious gas meticulously attached to only the molecules I misguidedly breathe. It is in my shadow, and it singes the concrete where I stand. It is the sad clink of an empty glass on New Year’s Eve. It is a nap in the passenger seat from which I will never wake up. I am keeping a secret. I am hoarding it. You will find it amongst yellowed mountains of books in a garage, when you find me. This is not a promise, it is a confession. I am keeping a secret.

withlovejojo

I dropped my phone on my face reading this. Holy crap

tiredandlonelymuse

very curious seeing writing i did on here (when i was a teenager) having such a resurgence ten years later. makes me wonder how i will feel about my writing from now, when i am 10 years older. do you ever read something you wrote when you were younger and feel like it belongs to a stranger? i could shudder and shrink when i read it, and judge the work of a different version of me based on the standards to which i hold THIS version of me. but i think i will choose not to, and instead choose to commend my younger self for being brave enough to try. ultimately that journey is what got me here, no?

tiredandlonelymuse

At home by donslens.

tiredandlonelymuse

behind the scenes IICHLIWP film, Prague 2021.

By donslens of course.

tiredandlonelymuse

gonna be a tough thing deciding which writing to post here and which to save for the records. lately i’ve been writing constantly from morning to night. not for any reason. just a compulsion. having conversations and my hands are simultaneously typing away in a world and ambience of their own. ambidextrous brain. master of none.