I have a dark side.

"Please, remember this. If you EVER need something that you can stand behind, something to help you to take on and deflect all of the hatred of this often cruel world, you will ALWAYS have Black Veil Brides. Forever." -Andy Biersack

[withthehandsondestiny]

.

I’m gonna vent on here because I don’t know where else to do it. I’m once again at a point in my life where I feel stuck, but I thought and hoped that by now I would have had it figured it out. I went through many crises in my life, I felt like I’ve been at my lowest, I also luckily had ups but here I am again in a down moment. Here I am again feeling blocked, not happy with my life, tired and on my knees, exactly when I thought it wouldn’t have happened. Time goes by, I’ve been through many difficult years but once again I feel like I’m not able to stand up again. I don’t believe in myself, I don’t have enough energy to go on. While everyone else is evolving, changing their lives, going through significant moments, I am always in the same place, always in the same condition, always living the same life that has now nothing more to give me. During the last couple of years I thought I was doing a good job on myself, healing from traumas and trying to take care of my mental health. But the way that I feel in this moment just brings me back to those toxic thoughts that used to haunt me. I don’t like the way I am, I don’t like the way I act, I don’t like the way I try to cope with things. As bad as it sounds, I don’t like my life. I’m not satisfied with it. There are just a very few aspects that I enjoy most of the times, but I feel like I’m ruining them too. And anyway those aren’t enough. I’m not satisfied with the way I’m living and even if I know that the solution would be to change my life somehow, I don’t have the strength to do it. Also I have big issues with asking for help, I’ve only recently tried to change this but the process is long and right now I feel like I went back to my old bad habits. I really don’t know what to do.

[lochnessee666]

Handsome

[ourforgottensouls]

[therealmelindamayhem]

[blackveilblasphemy]

[b-andy-v-black-b]

Nice Photos by SKXLLKID

[biersacksource]

Andy’s reaction to listening his own song (WDHTD) play on the radio

[withthehandsondestiny]

I haven’t posted anything on here in months, but I want to tell you a little something about me

2013 was the year I fucked up my entire life. I had a crisis that transformed me into another person. I ruined every single aspect of my life, hurt literally every person around me (and somehow myself too), acting like someone who I was not and who I would have never thought I could be. It took me some time to realize how of a big deal it was and how much help I needed. It took me years to bring the pieces back together and nowadays I’m still trying not to let the past affect what I had the courage to rebuild. I would be lying if I said that I don’t think about it anymore. I still feel that sense of guilt sometimes; when I finally feel okay with myself, there’s always that voice in the back of my mind that keeps telling me that I don’t deserve to be happy or loved. As Andy said, it’s like having a black ink mark spread over your life that you’re trying like hell to wipe clean and the stain won’t go away. But 2013 was also the year I found out about his band and it was literally life changing. I won’t idealize anyone; I’m perfectly aware that five normal people, who are basically strangers to me, can not change my life. But art can. Music can change you and make you realize something, it can help you go through hard times, it can help you think about yourself, about how you’re living your life and the person you actually want to be. Whatever may happen in my life, I will never forget the message I learnt thanks to their music and I will always use it in order to make myself a better person. That message is and always be a part of me. This can’t be forgotten. “Life is good when you make it that way and though the demons of yesterday will unfortunately always hang around to fill your mind with that black ink, you can choose to take it and paint a new picture...one of a life worth living and a dream worth fighting for. Never give in, Andy.”

[withthehandsondestiny]

Sorry, I’m on hiatus

I’ll be back

[withthehandsondestiny]

@blackveilblasphemy Knowing that even just one person misses me here warms my heart. Thank you, dear, I'll be back posting about Bvb. I just need some time.

[withthehandsondestiny]

Sorry, I’m on hiatus

I’ll be back

[withthehandsondestiny]

Billy Joel- Vienna (with lyrics)

Billy Joel- Vienna (with lyrics)

@acertaingcolouringofimagination You introduced me to this song when I was going through a rough time and it helped me a lot. Back then, I spent an entire afternoon listening to this and crying about my recent failure. These words helped me to face things in a different way and to do better on the second time and finally reach my goal. I “slowed down” and understood that I “couldn’t be everything I wanted to be before my time”. So now, it’s up to me to dedicate this to you. This is all for you, my friend, so listen carefully once again, but now from a different perspective.

[acertaingcolouringofimagination]

I’m so happy this song has helped you so much; I would have never thought THAT much and this means the world to me. Your words made me cry and I want to thank you for this “exchange”.. Lately I’ve felt a failure from time to time, but what “kills” me harder are the sense of guilt I feel for everything and everyone and the anxiety that constantly weighs on my chest…Overmore I always feel as if people’s pain are due to me or something I’ve done and this makes me doubt on the decisions I’ve taken and I start to see negative sides in them, regretting I’ve done them, even if I know, that If I saw them from an objective point of view, I’d still love them..I’ll try to “slow down” as possible, but I have to understand that slowing down doesn’t mean avoiding thigs that I fear, cause I’ve been doing it and I’ve just found myself even more mashed into my own inner self. Well,I’ve just listened and read the song again and it’s true, I haven’t been feeling this sense of solace in such a long time. It actually confers a positive aurea and I’d like to learn asap to live remembering that I have to work harder, but that falling doesn’t make me a loser.

Sorry for taking so long and messing up, and thank you again <3

[withthehandsondestiny]

I am so sorry for whatever bad feeling you have and I truly hope you can face it and go through it because I know you’re able to. That’s exactly the kind of feeling this song and these lyrics gave me months ago. Please, be proud of what you are and how hard you work and also always remember that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Love you.

[withthehandsondestiny]

Billy Joel- Vienna (with lyrics)

Billy Joel- Vienna (with lyrics)

@acertaingcolouringofimagination You introduced me to this song when I was going through a rough time and it helped me a lot. Back then, I spent an entire afternoon listening to this and crying about my recent failure. These words helped me to face things in a different way and to do better on the second time and finally reach my goal. I “slowed down” and understood that I “couldn’t be everything I wanted to be before my time”. So now, it’s up to me to dedicate this to you. This is all for you, my friend, so listen carefully once again, but now from a different perspective.

[acertaingcolouringofimagination]

One year ago my beautiful friend @withthehandsondestiny Made it from Rome to Milan and we were chilling on my sofà after eating meat. The following day we were going to Switzerland to see #blackveilbrides live and it was one of the best nights of my life. Happy anniversary to the that whole event ❤️

[withthehandsondestiny]

This day hasn’t probably been as I (we) expected, but I couldn’t let it pass without giving credit to one of the best nights in my entire life; something that I could never forget, cause it’s marked on my skin. So thank you again for those lovely days and thanks to the amazing people who got us so emotional. Happy anniversary  ❤️.

[withthehandsondestiny]

I'd just like to open up my heart and let you see how much I love you, cause sometimes I just want to tell you but can't fine a proper song to do it

You don’t need songs, just a simple “I love you” is enough for me:) love you too

[withthehandsondestiny]

Just wanted to say a little something. Andy Black new album is called “The Shadow Side”. My blog title is “I have a dark side”. This man and I connect on a spiritual level.

[sleepingwithsykesinbiersackland]

So cute

[blackveilblasphemy]