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I’m gonna vent on here because I don’t know where else to do it. I’m once again at a point in my life where I feel stuck, but I thought and hoped that by now I would have had it figured it out. I went through many crises in my life, I felt like I’ve been at my lowest, I also luckily had ups but here I am again in a down moment. Here I am again feeling blocked, not happy with my life, tired and on my knees, exactly when I thought it wouldn’t have happened. Time goes by, I’ve been through many difficult years but once again I feel like I’m not able to stand up again. I don’t believe in myself, I don’t have enough energy to go on. While everyone else is evolving, changing their lives, going through significant moments, I am always in the same place, always in the same condition, always living the same life that has now nothing more to give me. During the last couple of years I thought I was doing a good job on myself, healing from traumas and trying to take care of my mental health. But the way that I feel in this moment just brings me back to those toxic thoughts that used to haunt me. I don’t like the way I am, I don’t like the way I act, I don’t like the way I try to cope with things. As bad as it sounds, I don’t like my life. I’m not satisfied with it. There are just a very few aspects that I enjoy most of the times, but I feel like I’m ruining them too. And anyway those aren’t enough. I’m not satisfied with the way I’m living and even if I know that the solution would be to change my life somehow, I don’t have the strength to do it. Also I have big issues with asking for help, I’ve only recently tried to change this but the process is long and right now I feel like I went back to my old bad habits. I really don’t know what to do.














