#YurasLife #WholesomeWednesday #SelfLove #MyHandsome
𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐖𝐞𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐝𝐚𝐲 - 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞
And before winter ends, how can I not write a little something about the person who made it all so much warmer?
It has been a bit since my last Wholesome Wednesday, hasn't it? But right now, it's the perfect chance in my humble opinion. The perfect chance to talk a little bit about ourselves, love, and what we deserve. Naturally, it means me talking about my boyfriend– But also, all the things I've come to learn with him. Thanks to him?
There's this quote, it goes "no one will love you if you can't love yourself first." I'm not going to go in depth about why and how it's such a harmful and wrong thing to believe, but I will say: Are we really imposible to love just because we struggle to find light on who we are? Couldn't be loved, maybe, help us appreciate the person we've become with time?
I personally used to believe it's easier to know the love we deserve if we already value ourselves– But who says someone else can't teach us what we truly deserve? What even is the definition of love we know. Who teaches us what love is? Our parents? Teachers? Friends? There's so many aspects to love. And there's so many things to love about one self...
Is it really wrong if we don't love everything about ourselves? Does it really mean no one should love us, then?
• 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆
I was wrong on that one belief, "it's easier to know what we deserve if we value ourselves"... Because I learned I didn't really value all I had to offer. It's hard, isn't it? To come to terms and admit that there's things we aren't proud of within ourselves. We don't love or appreciate or struggle to change. And it's okay, really, to want to change. But being loved... Ah, being loved regardless of what we don't love? Having those little perks loved, don't you think that gives us a different view of who we are?
I've learned with San that there's so much about me that I repressed. I simply didn't show, I didn't want people to see or know about me. About my looks, my family, my life, my past. Things I didn't share but were such a fundamental part of who I am. And you'll think, how could he love you, then? How could San possibly love me if he didn't know all these parts of me? And that's where we're wrong, aren't we?
Love isn't unconditional or blind. But love is about wanting to learn, know, and grow. Love isn't always an educated decision, but it's a willing decision to be educated. San loved me regardless. Regardless of all the things I didn't love. And as he found out, as he became familiar with my insecurities and fears, he decided to keep loving me even more. Make up for the love I'm missing.
Isn't that teaching me how to love? Isn't that teaching me the love I deserve?
Maybe I'm wrong. Of course I could be wrong. But there's one thing I know for certain, and is that I'd never settle for less than his love. This love he gives is the one I decide I deserve. And I think we all should be loved in such a way that teaches us what we should allow in our lives.
Not even in a million years I ever thought I would be allowing someone to see me in all the ways San does. But not even in a million years did I think someone would look at me through his eyes in the way he does.
Just the little thought of the day to summarize. Allow love to exist around you. Allow love to make its way to you. Being scared is okay, but missing out because of fear is something you will regret. You are deserving of love, even if you don't think you do. All those flaws you see, all those insecurities... I promise you, really, someone will love.
Ah, that was a bit of a ramble! Wasn't it? A bit embarrassing. I've just been thinking a lot about love, don't you too sometimes? As spring comes around, it always makes me a bit emotional.
I'll call it a day! I'll head out. I still have some work to catch up on after so long! I'll be back, though. So watch out! And wait for me~.
As always, I'll see you on the next blog! All the love, my darling readers. –Yura ♡
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