casper antler sentence starters.
casper is my oc ( @ contracas ) and he’s fucking stupid i was going thru old prompts and stuff and his quotes are so stupid that i wanted to compile them for a meme. this is vain. this is stupid. i know. & not all of these are dumb.
“you wanna yu-gi-go or something?”
“if there are two things i’m good at, it’s evaluating how shit of a decision is and then fucking up anyway. trust me.”
“i love it when people leave me alone. that’s so endearing.“
“you’d make for a shitty hooker, so it’s a good thing i’m not paying you for your sub par services.”
“unpause it, unpau—- oh, i had the remote.”
“our unborn child will be forever asking how it’s so good looking with you as a parent.”
“oooh, middle school insults. nice one, ____.”
“okay, when you do [talk to your mum], tell her i had a good time the other night. she’s got great stamina despite her age.”
“jesus, where do i even begin? um, a. Colossal Fucking Tragedy.”
“i’m kinda trying to work here and can’t actually talk whilst. but I can listen? go… go ahead.”
"you are the definition of a blonde bitch, ____. fuckin’ hilarious.”
“i’m not fucking yelling.” s/he/they yelled.
“are you gonna cry because i hit you in the face with a dog toy?”
“all i could ever want for you is to hate what i am.”
“get your cold ass hands off my cold ass face.”
“if my pets ever told me to kill someone, i probably would.”
“i’m pretty sure your vast knowledge of squirmy pasta will be the reason I ungirlfriend you.”
“okay. no, but cool, whatever.”
“mental illness is a burden you carry, not a trait that you possess.”
“reality is a relative concept.”
“if i’m about’a get beaten up, don’t stop anyone. it’s all part of my grand design.”
“i find equilibrium boring.”
“no offence but i don’t fucking care.”
“since when did i become obligated to tell the truth?”
“just because I’m declining isn’t, like, open invitation for you to ask someone else.”
“marshmallows are literally disgusting. do you hate yourself?”
“do i look like your fucking IT Guy?”
“you should totally shove a jalapeño up your ass.”
“i’d be happy to put a bit of slap on you. and by that i mean i want to hit you in the face.”
“weakness, fuck. i’m displaying WEAKNESS.”
"if you loved me, you could’ve asked me to stay.”
“so should i call you the Professor of Embroidery now, or…?”
“does thinking about that make you feel shitty? it makes me feel fucking shitty.”
“i’m fine. my dignity’s a little bruised, but yeah.”
“wow, you’ve cured me of my depression.”
“you’re playing with my heart like in a sad lana del rey song.”
“anyway i’m gonna go listen to evanescence and think about hot women as i jerk off heterosexually.”
“stop the joviality, i hate life.”
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