⟢ synopsis : in which park jongseong, the school's heartthrob, rejects every girl that approaches him. why? there is only one answer to that question. and it's simply because he's already head over heels for you.
⟢ wc : 3,8k
⟢ author's note : this was so impromptu lowkey... SO I SAW THIS CLIP of 02z and i just immediately thought of a story like this. please receive this as an apology for making you wait for the nerdwon fic... ITS COMING SOON, TRUST!! :0
the first thing people noticed about park jongseong was the way he carried himself like he owned every hallway he walked through, boots clicking against the floor with a heavy, deliberate rhythm.
teachers sighed the moment they saw him slouched in the back of class, messy dark hair falling into his eyes and silver rings glinting against the desk. guys either wanted to be him or hated him for existing. and girls? well, girls were entirely more complicated. some practically tripped over themselves trying to catch his eye, throwing out high-pitched laughs just as he walked past.
sure, he'd smirk sometimes, or throw out lazy comments that made them lose their minds for no reason. but nothing ever lasted. no relationships, no situationships, nothing serious enough for other girls to stop approaching him. it was a frustrating paradox — the more distant he remained, the more desperate they were to be the exception.
take recess, for example.
jay was leaning against the courtyard railing, the air biting at the back of his neck, when yuna detached herself from her group of friends. she walked over with a deliberate sway, her fingers nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "hey, jay," she started, her voice dropping into a softer, rehearsed register. she stepped into his personal space, holding out a small, neatly folded note. "i was wondering if you were free this weekend? maybe we could get coffee. or... you could just take my number."
jay didn't blink. he didn't even shift his weight off the railing. his dark eyes slowly drifted from her face down to the note, then back up. the silence stretched just long enough to be uncomfortable, the chatter of the courtyard fading into background noise. "i'm busy," he said simply. his voice was warm, but it lacked even a shred of hesitation.
yuna's smile stiffened, her hand freezing mid-air. "oh. well how about next week—"
"i don't think so," jay interrupted gently, gaze already drifting past her shoulder, utterly checked out. "but thanks."
it was brutal in its efficiency. yuna swallowed hard, stuffing the note into her pocket before turning her heel and rushing back to her friends, cheek burning a bright crimson.
"you do realize yuna's been asking for your number for three weeks now, right?" jake dropped into the seat across jay later on during lunch, stealing a handful of fries straight off his tray without asking. jay didn't even look up from his phone, thumb mindlessly scrolling through a feed he wasn't even reading. "and?" he replied, voice flat monotone.
jake chewed loudly, staring at him for a beat before narrowing his eyes in sheer disbelief. "you're actually insane. she's literally a cheerleader," he muttered. sunghoon snorted, "you should consider yourself lucky, jay. most guys would sell a kidney."
jake leaned back in his chair slowly, gaze drifting past jay's shoulder, scanning the crowded, chaotic expanse of the cafeteria. his expression slowly shifted, a mischievous spark lighting up his eyes.
"there she is."
jay's head twisted around almost instantly — a knee-jerk reaction so fast it practically gave him whiplash.
and there you were, standing near the vending machines, caught in a sliver of bright afternoon sunlight that spilled through the windows. you were laughing at something your friend had said, your head tilted back, backpack hanging lazily off one shoulder. your expression was bright, open, and completely, blissfully unaware of the way jay's stomach tightened the second his eyes landed on you.
jay didn't do crushes. not the real ones, anyway.
not the kind that had him lingering, hoping to catch a two-second glimpse of you walking to class. not the kind that made him remember completely useless, mundane details like the fact you always picked the peach oolong tea from the machine, or the way you laughed with you whole body.
he hated how often he noticed you now. it was getting genuinely embarrassing, bordering on a psychological disorder.
he noticed when you arrived late to school, rushing through the gates with half-lidded eyes, a stray piece of hair sticking up, and your headphones half-on. he noticed you always held a cold bottle against your flushed cheeks after gym class. he noticed you had this habit of pulling your sleeves over your hands whenever you laughed too hard or felt awkward.
it was so, so, so pathetic. and the worst part of this entire miserable situation? he hadn't even properly spoken to you yet.
"you're staring like a divorced man seeing his ex-wife at the grocery store," jake joked. sunghoon actually choked on his drink this time, coughing into his napkin as a muffled laugh escaped him. jay glared daggers at jake, his face heating up, and threw a fry directly at his face.
but the thing was, they weren't entirely wrong. because every single time jay tried conversing with you, his nervous system collapses.
he'd see you walking down the hallway and think, "okay. now. just walk up, smile, and say hi." then you'd look up, eyes accidentally brushing past his for a fraction of a second, and his brain would completely short-circuit. so instead, he'd abruptly lean against the nearest locker, crossing his arms and putting on his best monotone face, while internally exploding into a million pieces.
there was that one time last tuesday when your shoulder accidentally bumped his while turning a corner. the impact wasn't heavy, but he stumbled back a step anyway. "i'm so sorry!" you apologized quickly, hand scrambling to steady the stack of textbooks cradled against your chest. you gave him a fleeting apologetic smile before rushing off to catch your next class before the bell rang.
jay stood there like a statue, his mouth slightly open, completely unable to form coherent words. "you're good," he finally mumbled to the empty hallway, gaze glued to the back of your head. he replayed that very moment in his mind for three days straight like an absolute loser.
naturally, jake and sunghoon had become entirely unbearable since finding out. "just ask for her instagram," jake groaned dramatically while walking down the hallway with them after the last bell. "yeah, coward," sunghoon added, voice dripping with mock, fueling jay's irritation.
"shut up," jay snapped, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. "both of you."
as they neared the entrance, jay's steps slowed. through the glass doors, he spotted you standing near the bicycle racks, laughing with your friends. the afternoon sun caught the edges of your hair, giving you a soft, almost glowing silhouette.
jake noticed his sudden deceleration. "now i get why you rejected yuna so fast," he grinned. jay rolled his eyes, "i rejected her because i didn't like her. simple as that."
"yeah, obviously. because you like her."
jay stayed quiet, which was answer enough. it was true nonetheless. he liked you so much it was actually ruining him.
and the thing was, you probably had absolutely no idea. maybe to you, park jongseong was just another loud guy with a bad reputation and too many problems attached to his name. meanwhile, jay was over here rehearsing imaginary conversations in the shower like a psycho.
one day, he spotted you near the stairwell completely by accident after classes. you friends had already gone ahead without you, their loud conversations fading out the main door minutes ago. you were standing near the windows by yourself, looking down, completely absorbed in trying to fix a jammed zipper on your backpack.
jay stopped walking immediately. this was it — no friends around, no interruptions, no excuses. his stomach dropped so hard it was ridiculous.
for a second, the sheer panic almost won, and he considered keeping his head down and walking past. but then, you brushed your hair back behind your ear, the golden hour light catching the side of your face. suddenly, a thought hit jay with absolute clarity, "if i don't do this right now, i'm actually never gonna do it." so before he could psych himself out again, his feet moved.
your head lifted at the sound of heavy footsteps echoing. immediately, jay forgot every word he had meticulously prepared. his mind went entirely blank, like a chalkboard wiped clean.
"hey," he managed. thank god his voice sounded normal. you looked surprised for a second, your blinking eyes focusing on him. it was fair, jay had never actually approached you before. "...hi?" you said slowly, the word phrasing itself like a question.
cute. the word flashed involuntarily through his mind, making his throat feel even drier.
jay shoved his hands into his pockets, clenching them into fists so you wouldn't notice how aggressively they were shaking. "you waiting for someone?" he asked, voice nearly shaking. you shook your head lightly, a small hum escaping your throat. "nope, my friends just left already. i got held up."
he nodded, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "do you always stay late?" he interrogated more. "sometimes... you?" you adjusted your bag strap. jay leaned lightly against the railing beside the stairs, attempting to project an aura of cool indifference. it was a massive failure — he was mostly trying to ignore the way his heartbeat was hammering against his ribs, growing louder the longer you looked right at him. he shrugged, "depends."
on whether you're here, apparently. he mentally kicked himself for the thought.
the conversation hung in the air, thick and slightly awkward. jay stared at a smudge on the opposite wall, desperately gasping for a follow-up topic. but the tension unexpectedly faded when a small smile broke across your face. you started teasing him about always looking annoyed in class. jay defended himself, instincts kicking in. "what? no i don't." his brow furrowed, lips pulling into a frown.
"you kinda do," you replied truthfully. he shook his head, looking away with a scowl that only proved your point. "that's just my face."
you laughed softly at that — a genuine, light sound that echoed in the quiet hallway. jay genuinely though his knees might buckle. he felt a sudden wave of vertigo, entirely captivated by the way your eyes crinkled.
"wait... oh my god," a voice said.
a voice jay recognized far too easily. jake's.
jay's head snapped toward the top of the stairs. jake was standing there, a hand gripping the banister, his expression a theatrical mix of horror and exaggerated shock. one step behind him stood sunghoon, biting his lower lip, trying so hard not to laugh that his shoulders were literally shaking. for one full, agonizing second, both of them just kept looking back and forth between you and jay.
sunghoon finally walked down the stairs, grin growing wider and more wicked the closer he got. he clapped a heavy hand on jay's shoulder, "so this is why you suddenly disappeared?"
jay closed his eyes, dragging a hand over his face. "can you two please leave?"
you were trying so hard not to laugh, pressing your lips together. the school's terrifying, unapproachable, heart stealer currently looked one second away from turning into a tomato, the flush creeping rapidly up from his collar to the tip of his ears.
jake stepped down, putting on his most innocent, angelic smile as he looked at you. "he practiced this conversation, by the way," he whispered loudly. "sim jaeyun!" jay napped, lunging forward and smacking the back of jake's head lightly. "okay, okay, we're going!" jake laughed, raising his hands in surrender as sunghoon dragged him away by the jacket, both of them snickering loudly as they disappeared down the lower corridor.
the second they were out of sight, silence rushed back into the stairwell. a heavy, profoundly awkward silence. jay kept his eyes glued to the empty hallway, frantically reconsidering every life decision that had led him to this exact moment.
"you practiced this conversation?" you repeated carefully. jay could hear the smile forming in your voice. he groaned, refusing to meet your eyes. "don't listen to them, they're idiots." your smile only widened, eyes sparkling with amusement. seeing you look at him like that made jay feel entirely unmoored, his confidence completely shot.
"you know, this is kinda ruining your scary reputation," you commented, mimicking his posture by leaning slightly against the railing beside him. jay looked over, eyebrows knitting together. "scary?"
you nodded, "mhm. people act like you're intimidating. i don't think so, though. i think you're kind of awkward," you added, tilting your head. he stared at you in disbelief, jaw dropping slightly. "awkward?"
"well, you got caught talking to a girl and looked like your life was ending," you giggled, the sound light and teasing. "in my defense, it basically was," he mumbled, gaze dropping back to his shoes as a faint smile tugged at his own lips.
a silence fell between you again, but this time, the nervous edge had softened into something warmer. jay looked at you then, taking in the soft light on your face and the easy way you stood near him. the fear was still there, but a sudden surge of adrenaline drowned it out. before he could overthink himself, before he could let the doubts crawl back in, he spoke.
"do you maybe wanna go out sometime?"
you blinked once, the teasing smile faltering into a look of surprise. jay immediately felt his stomach drop to the floor. "too straightforward. too weird. i should've said it smoother, should've built up to it." he was fully prepared to backpedal and laugh it off as a joke.
but then, your smile returned, softer this time. "like a date?" your eyebrows raised in inquiry.
jay's brain stopped functioning for a second. his vocabulary reduced itself to a single, breathless syllable. "uh... yeah."
"okay."
jay genuinely forgot how to react. he stared at you, his mind struggling to process the lack of rejection. "i— you're serious?" his voice turned small, losing all of its usual deep and steady grit. now it was your turn to stare at him, a look of pure amusement crossing your features. "you asked me out." he rubbed the back of neck, "well... right. yeah. i know that."
you laughed softly, the tension breaking. "then yes, jay. i'll go out with you."
before he could embarrass himself further or stumble over his own feet, you adjusted your bag and stepped back slightly. "i should go back before it gets dark, though," you suddenly said, glancing at the deepening orange hue outside. jay nodded too fast, "yeah, of course. stay safe."
you took two steps toward the door, then you paused, "oh wait." you turned back around, reaching into your pocket and holding your phone out to him casually. "you should probably give me your number first."
jay nearly lost his mind right there. he stepped forward and took the phone from your hand a little too quickly, his movements clumsy. he focused entirely on the screen, typing his digits with care, trying very hard to ignore the fact that his hands suddenly felt incredibly warm. when he handed it back, your fingers brushed his for half a second. the brief contact sent a jolt straight up his arm, and it almost killed him.
you looked at the screen, nodding approvingly, and slid the phone back into your pocket. "i'll text you. bye, jay." you waved at him with the sweetest smile he had ever seen before turning on your heel and exiting the building.
jay stayed rooted to the exact same spot for a solid ten seconds after you disappeared. he let out a long, shaky breath he felt like he'd been holding it for a week. "holy shit."
that night, jay was lying across his bed, propped up on his elbows while he watched something on his laptop. but really, he hadn't absorbed a single line of dialogue for the past hour. his thoughts kept drifting back to the stairwell, over and over again. suddenly, his phone buzzed against the mattress.
he glanced at it lazily, expecting a barrage of teasing texts from jake or sunghoon demanding updates. but as his eyes locked onto the screen, he froze.
[unknown number]
hey scary boy
jay sat upright so fast he almost launched himself off the bed, his laptop sliding dangerously across the sheets. he grabbed the phone, heart instantly resuming the frantic rhythm from earlier that afternoon. he reread the three-word message at least six times.
then, completely overwhelmed, he buried his face into his pillow. his entire body felt incredibly hot, a deep flush spreading across his cheeks, he groaned into the fabric dramatically, kicking his legs slightly. you teasing him over text felt a thousand times worse — and a thousand times better — than anything his friends could ever throw at him.
after a full minute of internally combusting and trying to regain his composure, he finally picked his phone back up. he unlocked it, tapped the reply bar, and stared at the keyboard.
he typed out a response, paused, read it, and aggressively hit backspace. he tried a different, cooler approach. too try-hard. he tried a casual, short reply. too dismissive. for the next ten minutes, he rewrote the exact same reply over and over again, desperately trying to find the words that wouldn't make him look entirely helpless against you.
he finally settled on something that didn't sound completely desperate, though his heart was still thumping against his ribs.
[jay]
i told you that's just my face
and it's jay. save my number so you don't forget
he stared at the screen, holding his breath until the little typing bubbles appeared almost instantly.
[yn]
too late, you're already saved as "scary boy" :/
jay let out a silent laugh, rolling onto his back and staring up at his ceiling. he couldn't even bring himself to be annoyed.
the texting didn't stop that night. it carried on through the next few days, shifting from quick, teasing banter between classes to late-night conversations about everything and nothing. jay found out that you actually paid attention to his terrible posture in english class, and you found out that the he was incredibly passionate about guitar and easily flustered by compliments.
by the time friday evening rolled around, jay was standing outside the small, neon-lit diner down the street from school. he adjusted the collar of his flannel outer with his left hand, his right hand carefully holding a small, neatly wrapped bouquet of fresh tulips. he checked his reflection in the glass door for the fourth time.
"you're going to burn a hole through the glass if you keep staring at it," your voice called out.
jay spun around, instinctively shifting the flowers behind his back for a split second before catching himself. you were walking up the pavement, wearing a soft sweater, your hair down, and a bright smile on your face. without the heavy school bags and the crowded hallways, everything felt different.
"i wasn't staring," jay lied automatically, the familiar warmth already creeping up his neck. he stepped forward and awkwardly but gently extended the bouquet toward you. "here. these are for you."
your eyes lit up as you looked at the flowers. "jay, these are beautiful. thank you." you stepped up beside him and cradled the flowers. you looked at him, your eyes taking in his outfit before meeting his gaze. "you look nice tonight."
his brain threatened to shut off again, but this time, he managed to hold your gaze. he offered a small, genuine smile. the kind that he rarely showed around school. "thanks. you look nicer."
the date itself was surprisingly easy, once the initial nerves settled over a shared plate of fries, the awkwardness faded into comfortable conversation. jay didn't have to pretend to be the aloof, unapproachable guy everyone thought he was, and you didn't treat him like one. you laughed at his jokes, and he listened intently whenever you talked about things you loved.
as the night wound down, the diner grew quiet, the vintage jukebox in the corner playing a low, mellow tune.
you traced the rim of your milkshake glass with a straw, looking over at him. "so... did this live up to the conversation you practiced in your head?"
jay paused, a faint flush hitting his cheeks, but he let out a soft chuckle. "honestly? not even close."
you tilted your head, an eyebrow raising. "oh? was it that bad?" you asked. "no, he answered softly, voice dropping to a deeper, more sincere tone. he leaned his forearms on the table, looking right at you. "it was way better. i didn't plan for you to be this easy to talk to."
a slight blush colored your own cheeks this time, and you looked down with a shy smile. "good answer, scary boy."
when he walked you back to your bus stop later that night, the air was cool, the streetlights casting a glow over the pavement. you stopped near the bench, holding the tulips carefully against your chest as you turned around to face him. "thank you for tonight, jay. i had a really good time," you said, looking up at him.
"me too," he replied, hands back in his pockets, but his posture was completely relaxed now. "we should do it again. next week?"
you smiled, stepping just a bit closer into his space. "it's a date."
before he could process how close you suddenly were, you leaned in on your tiptoes. your hand rested lightly on his shoulder for balance, and you pressed a quick, soft kiss directly to his cheek.
jay froze entirely. his breath hitched in his throat, and he was certain his heart stopped beating for three full seconds. the warmth from where your lips touched his skin instantly flared across his entire face, turning him a brilliant shade of crimson.
you stepped back, your eyes crinkling with amusement at his completely stunned expression. you reached out, your fingers gently tapping his pocket where his phone was. "text me when you get home so i know you didn't get intimidated by the dark."
"hey..." he complained weakly, but his voice was practically a squeak, his cool facade entirely shattered.
you waved, turning to step onto the arriving bus with a delighted laugh, holding the flowers close. jay stood under the streetlight, completely paralyzed, a hand rising slowly to touch the exact spot on his cheek you had just kissed.
he watched the bus pull away into the city traffic. and as the bus finally disappeared around the far corner of the street, jay let out a heavy exhale. he looked around the quiet, empty pavement, making absolutely sure no one from school was anywhere in sight.
slowly, the stunned look on his face gave way to a sharp, triumphant grin. he brought both elbows down to his sides, clenching his fists in a silent, lowkey victory pump. he let out a quiet, breathless "yes!" to the empty street, a sudden surge of excitement making him bounce slightly on his feet.
༯ synopsis : in which jang yn earns a job as a babysitter to the daughter of a dangerously handsome single father, and ends up spending most of her days with the small family,
or… in which jang yn slowly (and accidentally) makes her way into park jongseong's heart with her patience and skills and becomes his SAFEHAVEN.
༯ wc : 20,6k
༯ warnings (MINORS DNI) : a veryyyy small smut scene near the end (sorry if it isn't the best, i didn't really plan on adding smut so it was kind of effortless...), unprotected piv (pls dont!), slight breeding kink, a bit of marking, squirting, coming inside, pet names (baby, pretty).
༯ author's note : okay so this was better when it was planned out in my head hscbsjbiwb, but whatever! i got this idea when i saw this video of someone saying how great jay would be as a father and i was like... nice. honestly think this could've been wayyy better but oh well :/ i rly hope u guys enjoy this nonetheless!
plussss!!! happiest birthday to jongseong ♥️
tags : @enhainurheart
SEEKING FOR A RELIABLE BABYSITTER FOR 5 YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
you had been scrolling for what felt like hours. the soft glow of your laptop illuminated your tired face as you sat on your bed, finger lazily flicking on the touchpad. retail, cafe barista, convenience store clerk, receptionist. over and over again, different titles but the same image in your head — you standing behind a counter, forcing polite smiles, counting hours by the ticking of a clock that never seemed to move.
it didn't feel right.
you sighed and were about to lock your phone when that exact listing caught your eye. it wasn't flashy. there were no emojis, no exaggerated promises. just straightforward. you thought about it for a moment and eventually clicked on it.
name : park jongseong
address : 23 riverside residence, seoul, south korea
number : 010-****-**** (text if you applied)
in need of :
- a trustworthy and organized individual.
- preferably a woman.
- can be of any age.
you bit your lip, thinking. babysitting wasn't new to you. you'd done it before — neighbors' children, your cousin's toddler during summer breaks, even a part-time daycare assistant job in high school. you remembered sticky hands tugging at your sleeves, tiny giggles echoing in the living room, the strange but comforting responsibility of watching over someone small and fragile.
it wasn't easy, but it wasn't soul-draining either.
you entered the page. your fingers moved quickly at first, then slowed as doubt crept in. you carefully typed your name, your age, your previous experiences. you reread everything. once, twice, then a third time. your heart pounded as you pressed submit. you opened your messaging app afterwards and stared at the number.
you inhaled deeply and began typing.
[jang yn] :
good afternoon, my name is jang yn. i assume this is mr. park jongseong.
i found your number on a job application website. it said you needed a babysitter for your daughter.
i have applied for it.
you stared at the message for a long second. before you could overthink further, you hit send. immediately, panic settled in. you locked your phone and tossed it beside you as if it had burned you. your stomach twisted with nervous anticipation. what if he already found someone? what if he didn't like your resume? what if—
buzz. your phone vibrated against your bedsheets. your eyes widened. that was way too fast. you slowly reached for it, bracing yourself.
[park jongseong] :
hi, yn. please, call me jay.
thank you for reaching out.
i would like to interview you beforehand to see how you work.
are you perhaps free tomorrow at 4 p.m.? we could meet at my address.
you blinked — an interview, tomorrow, at his house. you swallowed, reading the message again. his tone was polite and direct, not overly formal, not cold either. you sat up straighter, fingers hovering above your keyboard.
[jang yn] :
yes, that sounds great.
you pressed the send button with a thumping heart. and right after, three dots appeared on the side of the screen.
[park jongseong] :
perfect.
see you then.
the next day, you arrived ten minutes early. the house wasn't huge, but not too small either. a neat one-story home with clean white walls, wide windows reflecting the afternoon sun, and a soft greenery lining the walkway.
your gaze dropped. a pair of tiny pink shoes sat neatly beside the door. that made your nerves worse.
you took a deep breath before pressing the doorbell. a faint shuffling sound echoed from inside. "coming!" a voice called out, slightly muffled. the door opened eventually.
jay looked different from you imagined. he was simpler — navy shirt that fit him well, jeans, hair pushed back slightly like he had run his hand through it. no accessories, no effort to impress — yet somehow it worked. his shoulders were broad, posture relaxed, and when he looked at you, his eyes were steady in a way that made you suddenly aware of how fast your heart was beating. "hi," he greeted first, offering a small smile. his voice was lower than you expected, steady and almost grounding. "you must be yn."
you nodded quickly. "yes, i am." you hoped your voice didn't sound as nervous as you felt. he stepped aside, opening the door wider. "come in."
you slipped off your shoes carefully beside the pink pair. the house smelled like fresh laundry detergent and something sweet, like baked goods. as he led you to the living room, you took in everything without meaning to.
a small rack filled with colorful, petite shoes next to a second rack holding darker, larger ones. photographs were framed neatly on the wall. a little girl with bright eyes and pigtails. the same little girl sitting on a man's shoulders — him. a picture of the two of them on what looked like a beach, her laughter frozen mid-moment. there were no other family photos. your chest tightened slightly at the realization.
the living room was warm. a fireplace, a television, a tall bookshelf with both adult novels and children's picture books, and toys scattered in organized chaos.
and then, a small blur ran across the room. tiny footsteps padded against the wooden floor, and a little girl collided gently with the man in front of you, hiding behind his leg almost instantly. she peeked at you with wide, cautious eyes. jay glanced down, tone shifting to something softer immediately. "seoyeon. say hi."
she didn't. she only stared. instead of forcing anything, you crouched down slowly so you were closer to her height. "hi seoyeon," you said quietly with a small smile. "i'm yn."
she blinked, then hid again. you noticed a drawing book open on the coffee table, pages filled with colorful scribbles of flowers, stick figures, and what looked like a purple cat. "i heard you like drawing. i'm not very good at it," you admitted dramatically, lowering your voice like it was a secret. "maybe you can teach me?"
there was a small pause, then she peeked again. this time, a little more of her face showed. you took that as an accomplishment.
jay lifted her into his arms. up close, you noticed how easily he carried her, one arm secure around her like it was the easiest thing in the world. "appa needs to talk to yn first, okay? you can color while we talk." seoyeon nodded lightly before he set her down again. she waddled back to her spot, glancing at you once more before sitting.
"please," he gestured toward the couch. you sat on the edge of it, posture straight. "so," he began, resting his hands together loosely. "i read your application. you've done this before?" he asked. you nodded, "yes, i have. mostly for relatives, and i volunteered at a daycare for a few months."
he listened carefully — not distracted, not checking his phone.
"are you currently studying?" he implied. you shifted in your seat, "no, i'm not. i graduated just a few months ago."
he asked more questions on discipline, emergencies, routines, and you answered as clearly as you could. but something felt slightly different. you couldn't pinpoint it exactly but maybe it was the way he watched you as you spoke — not rude, but attentive. or maybe it was how he held eye contact for a second longer than necessary every time after you finished answering like he was trying to read you beyond your works.
in the middle of the interview, you saw seoyeon take her small little steps to her father. she stood beside him, clutching a stuffed bunny to her chest. "is she your favorite?" you asked gently. she acknowledged and nodded this time. "what's her name?" you raised an eyebrow. "...mimi," she mumbled, voice low and shy. you gasped softly, hand over your chest. "mimi? well, mimi is very cute," you said seriously, leaning in slightly like it was official business.
that made her smile. a real one. jay noticed it. he leaned back slightly, observing the interaction carefully. you didn't rush her, didn't reach out without permission, didn't try to win her over loudly.
"you like coloring, don't you?" you questioned. she nodded again. you frowned and hummed as if thinking, "maybe next time you can show me your drawings."
"okay."
jay cleared his throat. "she's usually really shy with new people," he said, impressed. you glanced at him, "that's okay. i don't mind going slow." you turned back to seoyeon, face automatically going softer. "as long as this sweetheart gets comfortable."
she grinned, scrunching her nose slightly. you mirrored her expression without thinking. at that very moment, jay studied your face — really studied it. the way your eyes softened when you spoke to his daughter, the quiet patience in your voice. "you're patient," he commented. you shrugged a little. "kids need time," you responded. his gaze gentled slightly at your words because he realized that you understood what you were doing.
seoyeon stepped a little closer to you. she gazed at her dad, then back at you. "are you coming tomorrow?" the question surprised the both of you. you instinctively looked at jay. he met your eyes for a brief second before turning to her. "we'll see, princess. yn can be busy too."
after a few more practical details about hours and payment, jay stood. you stood too. "i'll let you know by tonight," he said. "thank you for considering me," you replied.
when you walked toward the door and slipped your shoes back on, you heard small, light footsteps behind you. you turned to see seoyeon. she held out mimi up proudly. you bent down just a little, "bye mimi. bye to you too, seoyeon." the small girl gave you a rather wide smile before waving her hands enthusiastically. you returned it.
before you shut the door, you looked back up and found jay already looking at you. you gave him a small girn, a little more relaxed now than when you first arrived. he returned it — softer this time — with a polite nod, though his gaze lingered just a second longer than necessary.
then, the door closed softly. behind it, jay remained still for a moment, hand resting on the doorknob. he exhaled slowly. he walked back to the couch, and seoyeon climbed onto his lap. "is she nice?" jay asked casually and seoyeon nodded without hesitation. "she's really nice, appa," she added. jay hummed, melting into the soft cushion.
he had interviewed others. some were too loud, some tried too hard to impress, some even looked distracted. but you? you didn't rush, didn't even try to win her over. he rubbed his hand over his face lightly. he didn't like trusting people easily — usually couldn't. but something about you felt correct. seoyeon shifted on his lap. "i like her."
jay looked down at her with a cocked eyebrow, "that fast?" and she nodded again. he stared at the ceiling for a moment. then he muttered quietly to himself. "she'll do."
that night, after seoyeon had fallen asleep, the house fell into a deep, comfortable silence. jay sat at the dining table with his phone in his hand. he opened your contact and typed.
[park jongseong] :
hi, yn. it's jay.
i'd like to move forward if you're still interested.
then, he added.
[park jongseong] :
seoyeon likes you.
said you're really nice.
he set his phone face down on the table immediately after, leaning back in his chair like it didn't matter. five seconds passed, then ten. he flipped it over again, but there wasn't a reply yet.
another minute passed, then— buzz.
[jang yn] :
yes, i'd love to.
thank you so much!
and the next day, you stood in front of the same door. it felt different from the previous day because this time, you were staying rather than only visiting. you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder and knocked softly.
the door opened almost immediately. jay stood there, already dressed for work — dark slacks fitted neatly, a simple button-up tucked in, sleeves rolled just enough to show his forearms. his hair was styled, sharp but effortless, and he smelled faintly of clean cologne and coffee. "morning," he said. you blinked. "...morning." you stepped inside with a small gulp.
seoyeon was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, surrounded by a kingdom of toys. when she saw you, she paused mid-play, eyes widening slightly, then she waved. you grinned immediately, "hi, seoyeon."
jay cleared his throat, "okay. so. before i leave..." he walked toward the kitchen and you followed. "she already ate breakfast. but if she says she's hungry again, there are cut fruits in the fridge," he mentioned first.
then, he hit you with many of them.
"she's not allergic to anything, but don't give her too much sugar."
"sometimes, she takes a nap around two, but that depends on her."
"she sleeps at nine. i'll be back before then."
"there's a small first aid kit in the cabinet above the microwave."
finally, he let himself breathe. you blinked slowly, trying not to smile. "okay." you could tell he wasn't doubting you. he just wasn't used to not being the one in control of every tiny detail. letting someone handle them felt foreign.
seoyeon padded into the kitchen and tugged on his pants. "appaaa." she mumbled. jay melted instantly, "yeah, princess?" his voice softened without effort.
"are you leaving now?" she pouted sadly, eyes glossy and round. he nodded slowly, "mhm. soon." he crouched down to her level, "i'll be back before bedtime, okay?" he patted her head gently. she looked between you and her dad, weighing her options. "okay," she decided.
jay stood, adjusting his watch. "if anything happens, call me. even if it's small. i just... like to know," he confessed. you gave him a small nod, "it's okay, i understand." and that seemed to ease something in him.
he grabbed his keys from the counter. before leaving, he looked at seoyeon once more, then at you. "thank you," he murmured. it sounded more sincere than yesterday. you nodded, "you're welcome."
and like that, the door closed and the house became quieter.
you looked down at seoyeon, she looked up at you. "appa talks a lot," she declared bluntly before running back to the living room. you laughed softly, the awkwardness fading.
it surprised you how easy it was to befriend her. all you had to do was step into her world — mimi had dramatic backstories, barbie dolls had complicated lives, coloring books required serious artistic discussion. somehow between the imaginary tea parties and emergency doll hospitals you had to run, you and seoyeon had practically become best friends.
and by the third day, you didn't have to ask where anything was. you knew where the cups were, which drawer had the extra hair ties, and that she absolutely despised bread crusts.
that morning, jay was getting ready for work while you crouched to help seoyeon put on her shoes for the park. "she didn't finish her milk," he called from the kitchen. "i know. she said it tasted weird today," you explained. he froze, "it's the same brand..."
"maybe it was just too cold. i warmed it a little and she finally drank some," you replied lightly. soon, you finished tying seoyeon's shoelaces. "there, all done."
jay observed quietly but was interrupted by seoyeon jumping up and hugging his leg. he absentmindedly rested his hand on her head, but his gaze was still on you.
later that afternoon, he came home a little later than usual. you were sitting on the floor with seoyeon, building a tower out of blocks. the living room was slightly messy with toys scattered around and cushions out of place. seoyeon burst into laughter as one of the pieces wobbled dangerously. "careful," you whispered dramatically as if the lightest gust of air could push the building, but the tower collapsed anyway. seoyeon gasped and clapped her hands like it was the most exciting event of the day.
that was when you looked up and noticed him. "oh. you're back early," you said, brushing hair away from your face.
he nodded, "yeah, meeting ended sooner." he stepped inside, his eyes drifting back to the half-destroyed tower. seoyeon was laughing loudly. "look, appa!" she shouted. "we made a castle!"
jay walked closer and knelt near you. "that's... really tall," he anticipated. "it fell three times," you admitted "four!" seoyeon corrected proudly. you both laughed, and jay found himself smiling without realizing it.
that night, something even stranger happened. seoyeon brushed her teeth without being reminded. "did you tell her to?" jay questioned. "about bedtime? no, she remembered," you shook your head. he glanced toward the bathroom, stunned. that almost never happened.
a few minutes later, seoyeon walked out in her pajamas. "i'm sleepy," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. the clock read 8:52. he looked at you, "you didn't tell her to go to bed?"
"no," you said. "she just started rubbing her eyes." you created the motion.
after seoyeon went to bed, the house felt calmer. jay leaned against the kitchen counter while you washed your hands. "you're adjusting very quickly," he praised. you glanced at him, "is that bad?"
"no. it's just... i'm used to reminding her about everything." he explained. you dried your hands with a towel. "everything's easier when there's two people, right?"
he didn't answer right away. because that was the thing. he wasn't used to there being two people. for years, it had only been him — managing, scheduling, remembering every detail so nothing slipped through. now, without even trying, you were sharing the weight. he looked at you again, "thank you," he said after a moment. you chuckled, "you don't have to thank me every day."
he almost smiled back. "i probably will anyway." and he did. he never once forgot to mention those words after every visit. and you always chuckled to yourself whenever he did.
the first week with seoyeon wasn't all that difficult. there were cries, of course. also some dramatic tantrums, the kind that started in her toes and worked their way up until her whole body trembled with injustice. and one particularly impressive floor-flop in the middle of the living room that would've earned a standing ovation from broadway.
but overall? normal and manageable. you handled it well — suspiciously well. and jay started paying attention more than he thought he should've.
one morning, you arrived at the house like usual. seoyeon ran to the door before jay could even turn the knob. "yn's here!" she announced proudly to absolutely no one and everyone at once. you laughed when the door opened. "i'm here seoyeon!" you echoed with equal excitement, crouching slightly as she barreled into you.
jay leaned against the doorway, watching the way she immediately grabbed your hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. like you had always been part of her routine. "hey," jay said, quieter. you gave him that small, polite smile, "hi."
and for a moment, he forgot what he was about to say.
not even an hour into the shift, the first storm rolled in. seoyeon stared down at her drawing, lip trembling. "it's not a butterfly anymore," she whispered. jay saw the warning signs instantly. the shoulders rising, breath hitching, fingers tightening around the crumpled paper.
here we go.
but before he could step in, you slid onto the floor beside her. you studied the page carefully. "you're right," you agreed thoughtfully. "it doesn't."
jay's mouth parted slightly and seoyeon hiccupped mid-cry. you only tilted your head. "it looks like a butterfly that's flying really, really fast. maybe that's why the wings look like that. they're moving too quick."
a sniffle, "really?" she blinked. "mhm," you nodded. "fastest butterfly i've ever seen."
seoyeon stared at the drawing again. her breathing slowed, tiny brows furrowing in consideration. then, as if the universe had reset, she scrambled. "i need a magnet!" and five minutes later, the "fastest butterfly in the world" was proudly displayed on the fridge. jay stood in the hallway, arms crossed, equal parts confused and impressed. he glanced at you. you were smiling so casually, like the whole situation had been nothing. he shook his head slightly to himself.
how were you doing that?
that afternoon, the three of you headed to the grocery store. originally, jay had planned to go alone. but seoyeon insisted on going along with you, which meant the trip became a group event.
the candy aisle was inevitable. "yn, yn!" seoyeon gasped, clutching a bag of gummy bears like it was a life-or-death discovery. "i really, really want this! can i have it pleaseee?"
jay stepped in smoothly. "not today, princess. we have candy at home." and there it was. the face scrunch, the inhale, the rising tremor. you saw it too. her wail echoed dramatically through the aisle that a couple turned their head. jay braced himself.
but you simply knelt down, lowering yourself to her level. your voice stayed soft and steady — too quiet for him to catch every word. "you really wanted those, huh?"
her cries softened into shaky breaths. you continued, "do you want to help me pick a snack for movie night instead? something we don't already have?" you offered. she sniffed. you added, "and next time we plan for candy, we can put it on the list together."
then slowly, she nodded. she placed the gummy bears back on the shelf herself.
jay stared at you. when you resumed walking, he leaned closer, "how are you doing this?"
you glanced at him, confusion plastered on your face. "doing what?" you huffed. "this," he gestured vaguely at the now calm child inspecting crackers like nothing had happened. "you're not even stressed."
you shrugged lightly, "she's just communicating the only way she knows how." you looked at him like it was an obvious point. he let out a disbelieving laugh. "communicating? that was a full emotional hurricane."
"yeah," you smiled. "but hurricanes pass, right?"
you grabbed a box of cereal from the shelf and added it to the cart. "thing is, jay, i pick my battles. and i remember she's not giving me a hard time... she's having a hard time."
the words hit him harder than he expected. he thought about the nights he'd snapped a little too quickly. the times exhaustion blurred his patience.
seoyeon turned around suddenly, beaming at you. "can we get the star pasta?" her eyes brightened. you tapped her nose gently. "is it on the list?" you asked. she slapped her forehead, "i forgot!"
you whispered dramatically, "mission impossible." she giggled and ran ahead to fetch the crumpled paper from the cart's cup holder. jay watched the exchange quietly. he had expected exhaustion from you by now. or at least a crack in the calm. maybe even a frustrated sigh when you thought he wasn't looking. but instead, you moved through it all with steady hands and softer eyes than he'd ever seen.
even later that evening, when seoyeon refused to put on pajamas because "the clouds on them looked sad," you didn't argue. you asked her why they were and you suggested maybe they needed a bedtime story too. somehow, the pajamas were on within minutes. jay leaned against the hallway wall, arms folded, pretending he wasn't watching. pretending he wasn't thinking about how different the house felt lately.
after you tucked seoyeon in, you stepped into the kitchen to grab your bag. jay was already there, rinsing a glass. "you don't get overwhelmed?" he asked out of the blue. you considered the question honestly, "of course i do."
"i just don't let her see it when she's overwhelmed too," you added. "she needs someone steady, not someone sinking with her."
he swallowed. "you're kind of amazing," he muttered, almost to himself.
you couldn't hear him, too busy adjusting the strap on your bag. "sorry?" you leaned. he shook his head quickly. "nothing. drive safe."
that was that. but one night, everything took a turn.
jay had been in his room for hours, laptop open, spreadsheets blurring into one another as he answered emails and finished up reports. at some points, the numbers stopped making sense. he didn't realize how much time had passed until his eyes burned and he finally glanced at the clock in the corner of his screen. it was past seoyeon's bedtime.
his brows knit together. the house had been quiet for a while — too quiet, now that he thought about it. usually there was some last-minute protest, a request for water, s mall voice calling his name, a dramatic declaration that she wasn't sleepy at all.
he pushed his chair back and stepped out of his room, loosening the sleeves os his shirt absentmindedly as he walked toward the living room.
that's when he saw it. seoyeon was asleep on the couch. one small arm dangled off the edge, fingers limp and curled. her hair fanned messily against the pillow, cheeks warm and flushed. an episode of peppa pig played softly on the tv, bright animated voices murmuring into the otherwise still room.
and you. you were kneeling beside the couch. you didn't notice him, you were too focused on her. carefully, you lifted her hanging arm and placed it over her stomach. your movements were slow and deliberate like you were afraid the air might wake her. then you pulled the blanket up to her neck and tucked the corners in, smoothing the fabric with your palm.
jay didn't move. something about the scene held him there.
the lamp in the corner was on, casting a warm light over the couch, softening the edges of everything it touched. your hair fell slightly forward as you leaned closer to adjust the pillow beneath her head. you brushed a small strand away from seoyeon's face with the back of your finger. "sweet dreams, princess." you used the nickname jay usually did.
you looked natural there. the thought hit jay so suddenly that his chest tightened. he stood there longer than he thought, just staring. the house didn't usually look like this. it was usually quiet in a different way — empty, functional, clean but cold.
but right now? it felt warm, and you were at the center of it.
you stayed kneeling for another moment, eyes tracing the toddler's face. only then did you lift your head and froze slightly when your eyes met his. you stood up slowly, brushing your hands against your jeans. "she fell asleep while watching," you explained with a low voice, almost like you didn't want to disturb the silence too much.
he cleared his throat, "you could've just told me."
"it's okay, really. she looked tired," you replied gently.
he glanced at seoyeon before back at you. you didn't look tired nor annoyed. you looked calm and comfortable like this wasn't hard for you. and that realization unsettled him.
"i'll carry her to bed," he said finally. you nodded and stepped aside. he bent down carefully, sliding one arm beneath seoyeon's knees and the other around her back. she stirred lightly, nose scrunching, but didn't wake. her hand instinctively grabbed onto his shirt.
as he walked toward her room, he felt your eyes on his back. or maybe he just imagined it. he laid seoyeon down, pulled the covers up, and pressed a quiet kiss to her forehead. when you came back to the living room, you were already grabbing your bag. "i should go," you announced softly. he hummed, "yeah."
he walked you to the door like usual. you slipped your shoes on, "night."
"goodnight." the door clicked shut and the house was quiet again. but it felt different. jay stood there for a moment too long. his jaw tightened slightly, running a hand through his hair. it was ridiculous, nothing happened. you tucked his daughter in. that was it. so why did the image keep replaying in his head? you kneeling by the couch. the way it looked like—
"stop." he exhaled sharply. but the thought kept reciting itself and it irritated him more than anything. he had spent years building his life in a careful, controlled way — just him and seoyeon. it was manageable and safe. and now you were slowly becoming part of that picture without even trying.
trust was one thing, relying too. but letting himself get used to this was dangerous. but a small part of him didn't want to push the thought away. somewhere in that mind of his, mini but noticeable, he liked how it looked, how it felt. and that was exactly why he shouldn't.
he closed his eyes for a second, back against the door now, but the image didn't leave — refused to. "get a grip, jongseong."
"don't make it too tight," seoyeon complained as you gathered her soft hair into a small ponytail. you smiled, adjusting your grip. "okay, okay. tell me if it hurts."
she squinted at you through the mirror on the wall, dramatically suspicious. "it always hurts," she rolled her eyes. "it does not," you gasped lightly. "you're accusing me."
behind you, a door clicked open. jay stepped out his room, hair still slightly messy from a previous shower. he paused when he saw the two you. morning light spilled through the window, soft and golden. you stood behind seoyeon with quiet concentration, tongue pressed lightly to to the corner of your mouth as you tied the hiarband. seoyeon sat on the stool swinging her legs, wincing every few seconds like she was undergoing a life-threatening procedure.
you noticed him first and gave a small nod. "good morning." he gulped, "morning." his voice was normal and steady. like he hadn't spent hald the night replaying the image of you kneeling beside seoyeon's bed, brushing her hair back, whispering "good night" soft enough that he almost couldn't hear it.
he grabbed his coffee and leaned against the counter, pretending to focus on the steam rising from it. seoyeon suddenly twisted around to look at him, "yn's picking me up today, appa!"
you blinked. "only if that's okay," you added quickly. jay paused for half a second, cup hovering near his mouth. "...that's fine," he said after a second. your shoulders relaxed slightly and seoyeon cheered as if she had won something monumental.
later that afternoon, you stood outside the preschool gates. the sun was a little too warm. children ran in every direction like unleashed confetti. parents chatted in clusters, some glancing at you curiously — you looked young compared to most of them. you shifted your weight from one foot to another, scanning the doorway.
"yn!" your head snapped up. seoyeon burst through the gate the second she saw you, backpack bouncing wildly against her back. you crouched instinctively so she wouldn't crash too hard into you. but she still did. you laughed, steadying her. "hey, princess. how was school?"
"i painted a frog today but it looked like a blob," she declared. you tilted your head, "blobs are very artistic, you know?" she narrowed her eyes at you, unconvinced.
without thinking, you slipped her backpack off her shoulders and carried it yourself. she immediately grabbed your hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
jay arrived a few minutes later. he told himself he was nearby, that he had finished work early, that traffic was light — all reasonable excuses. he spotted the two of you near the small playground outside the school. seoyeon was talking non-stop, her hands moving dramatically as she narrated her day. and you were listening like every word mattered.
you noticed jay a few steps away and waved. "thought you were gonna arrive later."
"finished some things." he glanced down at seoyeon, "did you behave?" he squinted. "yes," she mumbled quickly. you raised an eyebrow playfully. "mostly," you corrected. jay's lips twitched before he could stop them.
the three of you began walking toward the parking lot. seoyeon walked between you. she grabbed your hand first. then, after a second, she grabbed his. so the three of you walked like that — seoyeon swinging your joined hands back and forth, humming something off-key.
a mother passing by glanced at the three of you and smiled warmly. "you have such a sweet daughter," she said to you. you froze slightly, fingers tightening around seoyeon's hand for just half a second. "oh— i'm not—" you began.
"thank you," jay said smoothly.
the woman nodded and continued walking. you looked at him immediately, he avoided your gaze, staring straight ahead like nothing unusual had happened. seoyeon kept swinging your hands, blissfully unaware.
when you finally reached the car, you let go first like you were putting distance back where it belonged. jay noticed that too.
the following days began to blur into something comfortable. you picked seoyeon up regularly now, remembered she preferred apple juice over orange, that thursdays exhausted her because of outdoor play, and she would get quiet and clingy around dinner,
you no longer waited for jay to give instructions. he stopped giving them, anyway — he didn't even realize it. he would come home to find the two of you on the floor surrounded by puzzle pieces. or hear seoyeon whispering secrets into your ear, her tiny hand covering her mouth like it was classified information.
once, he watched you both while drinking a cup of coffee. seoyeon was giggling uncontrollably while you dramatically pretended to misunderstand her drawing. "this is clearly a dinosaur, seoyeon," you insisted.
"it's a cat!" she insisted. you frowned, "it's a very ferocious cat," you joked. she gasped loudly. "it's not ferocious!"
you laughed at her reaction, and for some reason, jay's heart echoed loudly in his own ears.
one evening, as the sky turned soft orange, you knelt near the front door helping seoyeon put on her shoes. "other foot," you demanded gently. she leaned heavily into your shoulder while trying to balance.
"you're coming tomorrow, right?" she asked suddenly. you nodded without hesitation, "of course."
she wrapped her arms tightly around you before you could stand up. you froze for just a second — then hugged her back naturally. your hand rubbed her back slowly. "it's okay, princess," you mumured when she didn't let go immediately.
jay saw how easily she clung to you, how easily you responded.
seoyeon finally pulled back. "promise?" she lent out her pinky. you entangled it with yours. "promise."
you stood up and reached for your bag. jay walked you to the door like he always did now. it had become routine at this point.
your eyes met his. there was something unspoken lingering there. something neither of you named. as you slipped your shoes on, you felt his gaze again. "you don't have to walk me every time," you said softly. he leaned against the doorframe. "i know," he replied. you smiled with a shake of your head before stepping down the porch.
since then, it was like the universe had developed a quiet sense of humor. nothing dramatic, nothing loud. just small, accidental collisions that felt anything but accidental.
seoyeon's "castle hospital" took up the entire living room floor — plush bears with twisted imaginary ankles, dolls suffering from mysterious fevers. mimi tragically injured from a staircase incident that, according to seoyeon, involved "too much hopping and not enough holding the rail."
you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, sleeves pushed up, fully committed to your role as doctor yn. "doctor yn is on the scene," you declared. "we will save everyone."
seoyeon beamed, entirely serious. jay watched from the couch, tie loosened, one arm draped lazily over the backrest. he looked tired from work but softer here. he caught his eyes drifting back to you more than the stuffed animals.
"mimi fell down the stairs," seoyeon repeated gravely. you gasped, "not the stairs. that's the most dangerous place in the castle."
jay let out a low breath that betrayed him. you pointed at him, "sir, please. this is a hospital." he grinned, dimples faint but unmistakable. "apologies, doctor."
a moment later, seoyeon demanded a bandage. the toy medical kit was just within reach. and without thinking, both you and jay leaned forward at the same time. your fingers brushed. it was barely contact, just the faintest graze of skin against skin. but both of you stopped. your hand hovered under his. his breath shifted — so slight it might've been imagined.
you pulled your hand back first, "sorry."
"it's fine."
later, soeyeon suddenly promoted to "castle architect," demanded structural renovations that required moving cushions, chairs, and tables. "appa, hold this!" she commanded, handing jay one end of a blanket. he obeyed immediately.
you climbed onto the couch to drape the other side over the bookshelf. the cushion dipped under your weight more than expected, and your balance faltered for just a fraction of a second. jay stepped closer immediately. "careful," he murmured.
you felt him behind you before you fully registered it. his hand hovered near your waist, not touching but there.
you stepped down carefully, turning in the narrow space between the couch and coffee table. there wasn't enough room. as you moved, you almost bumped straight into him. his hand came up instinctively and this time, it did touch. his palm brushed the side of your waist through the thin fabric of your shirt.
your breath caught. you were close enough to feel the steady rise and fall of his chest behind you. close enough that if either of you moved an inch, it would mean something.
"appa, it's falling!" seoyeon cried from inside the half-built fort.
you stepped away fastly with a gulp. jay cleared his throat softly and moved to the other side, "right. sorry, princess." but his voice wasn't as steady anymore.
seoyeon, blissfully, oblivious, declared the fort a success and insisted both of you sit inside. it was cramped — very. jay sat across from you, knees almost touching yours in the dim blanket-filtered light. seoyeon nestled between you both, narrating an elaborate story about royal doctors and brave kings.
you didn't miss the way his gaze lingered a second too long when you laughed at something seoyeon said. and he didn't miss the way your eyes flickered to his mouth before you caught yourself.
the rest of the day, none of you spoke about it. but there was an obvious shift in the air. you thought it'd been just that, but another moment happened as you were cooking dinner.
the house was dimmer now, evening settling in comfortably, the fort half-collapsed but still standing proudly in the living room. you were cutting vegetables while jay stood beside you, making himself a cup of tea. you walked over to the fridge, there was a small toy car near it that you didn't notice
your heel caught it and your balance tipped backward. you didn't fall, though. because jay stood up quick enough and his hand landed at your waist instantly — holding you, steadying you. your hand flew up in instinct and grabbed his forearm. you felt the muscle tense beneath your fingers.
you were far closer than before. you could feel the warmth of his palm fully against your waist now, steady and sure. the faint scent of his cologne mixed with clean laundry and something unmistakably him.
your eyes lifted carefully. his eyes were already on you. "i'm okay," you said softly. but you didn't let go immediately. his gaze dropped briefly to where your hand was still holding his arm, then back to your eyes.
his hand slid away slowly — too slowly to be accidental. fingers trailing just enough to leave a line of warmth behind. "watch your step," he said quietly. it sounded like it meant more than the floor. you nodded, but neither of you stepped back right away. and somewhere behind you, in the living room, seoyeon's small voice floated down the hallway.
"appa? doctor yn? the king needs help!"
jay exhaled softly — almost a laugh. but his eyes never left yours. "duty calls."
you both walked back as seoyeon rushed you, insisting the king required immediate surgery. jay ended up sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, holding a plush lion while you wrapped it in gauze with the seriousness of an attending physician.
you could still feel the warmth of his fingers from the hallway. you were both pretending you couldn't.
"is he going to live?" seoyeon asked gravely. you glanced at jay, "that depends. has he been eating his vegetables?"
jay blinked once, then caught on. "terrible diet. refuses broccoli," he played along. you laughed, soft and unguarded. jay watched you and nearly smiled to himself.
later, after seoyeon was tucked in and the house had gone still, the quiet settled in layers. the dishwasher hummed softly and blended with the muted city sounds outside, the hallway light cast a dim amber glow across the wooden floors.
you stood at the kitchen sink, rinsing soap from your hands when you felt it — that awareness of someone still there.
he usually retreated to his study once seoyeon was asleep. but tonight, he lingered. he leaned against the kitchen counter, sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up to his forearms, tie loosened but not removed. "can i ask you something?" he said.
you reached for the towel, drying your hands slowly. "you just did," you joked. a faint smirk appeared on his face, but it faded quickly.
"she's been refusing to sleep in her own bed lately." his tone shifted, quieter now. "she ends up in mine every night."
you turned to face him fully. "that's not new."
"no," his jaw flexed. "but she used to at least try first." he stared at the marble countertop instead of at you. he continued, "i don't know if i should push her to sleep by herself or just let her be with me."
you tilted your head, "what do you think she's afraid of?"
he hesitated. "that i'll disappear." the words came out flat and controlled, but they hung in the air heavier than he meant them to. you stepped a little closer. "then forcing her won't fix it."
his jaw shifted again. he already knew that, of course he did. jay researched everything, prepared for everything. but this wasn't something you should spreadsheet your way out of. "stay with her until she falls asleep," you added gently. "consistency builds security. if she sees you're there every time she opens her eyes, eventually she won't be afraid you won't be."
he nodded slowly, like he was filing your advice somewhere permanent.
and ever since that moment, jay found himself seeking and caring for you more. you realized it too.
the next night, your phone buzzed at 9.47 p.m.
[park jongseong] :
running late.
don't let her stay up waiting for me.
you were sitting beside seoyeon on her bed while she carefully arranged her stuffed animals in a very specific order. you typed back right away.
[jang yn] :
okay!
she already brushed her teeth.
i'll read one book for her.
drive safe :)
three dot appeared almost immediately, stopped, then appeared again.
[park jongseong] :
did you eat?
you frowned, fingers pausing above the screen.
[jang yn] :
yep
a pause.
[park jongseong] :
okay.
just asking.
you leaned back against the headboard, staring at the screen. because he had never "just asked" before.
something happened two days later when he came home with grocery bags. seoyeon bolted toward him the second the door opened. "appa! did you bring treasure?" she skidded across the floor in her socks and collided with his legs. jay crouched, setadying her with one arm while ssetting the bags down with the other. "snacks," he corrected.
she immediately dug through the paper bag with dramatic intensity. "but i don't like those crackers," she declared, nose wrinkling. she took out a box of cheese crackers — the ones you loved.
jay didn't look at you when he replied. "you used to, princess."
"no, i didn't" she shot back stubbornly.
he cleared his throat, suddenly very focused on rearranging the contents of the bag. "well, um... we have them now."
then, his eyes lifted and your eyes met over seoyeon's head. there was the briefest flicker of realization in his. he hadn't bought them for her. he had bought them because one night, while cleaning up after dinner, you casually mentioned how those crackers reminded you of residency nights — vending machine dinners and hallway trips at 3 a.m.
you pretended not to notice. but after that day, small things kept happening. things that were easy to dismiss individually but harder to ignore together.
"should i sign her up for piano or let her choose?"
"do you think i'm being too strict about screen time?"
"she said you're coming tomorrow. is that still okay?"
and every time, he phrased it like he was just checking, gathering a second opinion. but he waited for your answer. and when you disagreed with him once — gently — he went quiet for almost a full minute before nodding. you suggested that maybe seoyeon didn't need two structured activities on weekends. "she's five," you said softly. "let her rest sometimes."
he went still, then nodded. like he trusted you more than he intended to.
one evening, you went out of the bathroom to find him already home. seoyeon was sprawled on the living room floor with crayons scattered everywhere, tongue peeking out slightly as she focused on her drawing. jay sat on the couch, elbows on his knees, hands loosely clasped, staring at nothing. he looked tired. emotionally. he glanced up when you stepped inside, and something in his shoulders loosened. it was subtle, but you saw it. "rough day?"
he huffed a soft breath. "board meeting."
you nodded, settling into the armchair across from him. a few seconds passed, then he surprised you. "they want expansion. two new branches. but i don't think it's stable yet," he continued. "cash flow projections look fine on paper, but market conditions aren't predictable. if it fails..." he paused. "it affects employees, even families."
he never talked about work like this.
you leaned back slightly, "then don't expand."
he finally looked at you properly. you held his gaze. "if you're hesitating, there's a reason." you said, calm and steady. the room was quiet except for seoyeon humming to herself. jay's eyes didn't leave yours. you could almost see the internal shift — the way he weighed your words instead of automatically countering them. he exhaled. "okay."
later that night, after seoyeon was asleep and you were gathering your things, he walked you to the door like he always did. but he stood a little closer than usual. you spoke first as you slipped your shoes on, "you don't have to answer every time. you know that, right?"
his brows drew together. "answer what?"
"every doubt."
his jaw tightened slightly. "i'm not doubting," his voice was nowhere above a whisper. you gave him a look, a soft one. he held your gaze for a long second. then, quieter than you'd ever heard him, "it's easier when you're here." it wasn't a confession, but it was dangerously close.
you only nodded slowly. you finally reached the door. "i'll see you tomorrow, jay."
you walked to your car, heartbeat a little unsteady. and as soon as you slid into the driver's seat, your phone buzzed. you didn't have to look to know who it was. still, you did.
[park jongseong] :
text me when you get home.
the kitchen was dim except for the soft amber glow of the stove light. it was well past midnight and the whole house felt like it was holding its breath. seoyeon had fallen asleep on the couch an hour ago — curled into the corner cushions with the blanket half-dragged to the floor, one sock missing, and a children's book open against her chest. you carried her to bed carefully. she didn't even stir.
now the house was quiet again. you stood at the kitchen counter rinsing strawberries you didn't actually need to wash. the faucet ran in a gentle stream, water tapping against the sink in a rhythm that filled the silence just enough to keep it from feeling too heavy. it gave your hands something to do.
jay stood beside you. he didn't say anything when he first walked in. he had simply leaned against the counter next to you, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, arms folded loosely across his chest. you didn't look at him, but you could feel him.
"she talks about you a lot." his voice broke the silence. you glanced at him in surprise before a smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. "does she?" you murmured.
he nodded once, pushing himself slightly from where he had been leaning. "yeah," he exhaled faintly through his nose, the smallest hint of amusement in it. "all the time."
you tried to hide the warmth that spread across your chest. "what does she say?" you questioned curiously. he huffed a small, almost amused breath. "that you listen." and added, "that you don't treat her like she's... small."
"she hasn't been this comfortable with someone since..." he stopped. the unfinished sentence lingered in the air like a thread left hanging. you saw it happen — the split-second shift in him, the wall rising halfway. his jaw tightened just slightly, like he had bitten down on something too sharp. the openness in his expression pulled back just a little.
you didn't push, though. you just looked at him. and this time he noticed it. he lifted his eyes to meet yours, and for a brief moment, something passed between the two of you that felt different from anything before. there was something there that you had never seen before. not anger, not deflection, not that easy sarcasm he used like armor. more like getting exposed.
"she's just..." he ran a hand through his hair before letting it fall back to his side. the movement looked more frustrated than casual. "it's been a while since she's let someone in like that."
your voice softened, "that's a good thing, no?"
he nodded again, though his gaze drifted to the floor. "yeah."
the refrigerator hum grew louder in the quiet. you didn't know what to say — not because there was nothing to say, but because it felt delicate. like if you had moved too fast, he would snap shut again. you turned off the faucet and reached for a towel.
he studied you for a moment. "she used to—" he cut himself off. his throat shifted as he swallowed the rest of the sentence. your heart tugged a little.
he looked away. "i just..." he exhaled slowly. "i don't want her getting attached to someone who—" he cut himself off again. when he realized what he said, you saw it — the way his jaw tightened, the flicker of regret crossing his eyes like he could physically pull the sentence back into his mouth.
the silence stretched before he exhaled slowly. "when we decided to separate," he said quietly, not looking at you. "i thought she could handle it." he rubbed a hand over his face, fingers dragging down slowly like it exhausted him just from remembering. "i told myself it was better this way. that seoyeon wouldn't grow up watching two people who don't... love each other properly."
he rubbed his forehead. "i wasn't scared about losing her," he continued, voice lower. "i was scared about failing her." the vulnerability in the sentence was almost raw.
"the first night she stayed with me alone..." he huffed a humorless breath. "she cried for her mom. and i just stood there in the hallway outside her room thinking—" for a moment you could almost see it. a younger version of him standing in a dark hallway, one hand braced against the wall, listening to a toddler cry on the other side of the door.
"i didn't know how to do it by myself," he admitted. "i didn't know how to be both parents. i didn't know if i was enough." his throat tightened. "i still don't."
something in your chest ached. you stepped closer, more deliberately. close enough that you stood directly in front of him. "jay."
he lifted his head then, finally looking at you fully. his eyes were glassy. the guard he usually wore so carefully was lowered — defenses loosened in a way you had never seen before. "it was so messy," he continued. "the divorce, lawyers, custody schedules... seoyeon asking questions i didn't know how to answer." he shook his head slightly. "i felt like everything stable in her life was breaking because i couldn't make my marriage work." the guilt sat heavy across his expression.
your hand moved before your brain could stop it. you reached for his wrist gently, fingers wrapping around it with quiet certainty. "you didn't break her life, jay. you protected it." you comforted, making his brows pull together slightly. "you chose something healthier instead of something convenient. that is not failure."
his eyes searched yours like he tried to decide whether he was allowed to believe that. i was terrified," he added. "terrified she'd resent me one day. terrified she'd think i'm an awful father. terrified i was an awful father."
your hand slid slowly from his wrist to his hand. he didn't pull away. his fingers were warm, slightly tense. "you stayed," you whispered. "you learned. you showed up every single day." his grip then tightened around yours unconsciously. "she smiles," you carried on gently. "she feels safe. she laughs. she sleeps through the night. that doesn't happen by accident."
you exhaled. "i don't think you realize how much she looks at you like you're her whole world."
that did it. his composure cracked just a fraction more. he looked down at your joined hands, then at you. his thumb brushed lightly against your knuckles. "i really meant it, you know?" he said. you frowned in confusion, "meant what?"
"when i said it's easier with you."
your breath caught. his eyes moved slowly over your face — neither hurried nor reckless, just taking you in. like he was seeing you differently for the first time. like something had shifted inside him and he doesn't know what to do with it just yet.
"i didn't think i'd let anyone this close again," he said softly. jay's eyes dropped to your lips for half a second before lifting it back to your gaze. his hand still wrapped around yours, thumb still resting lightly against your skin.
the air felt too thin. for a moment, it felt like something was about to happen — something quiet but undeniable, the kind of moment where the world narrows until there's only the two of you standing in the same breath of space. but your heart panicked. you pulled your hand back quickly. "uh—" you glanced toward the hallway, toward the front door, anywhere but at him. "i should probably head home. it's kind of late."
he straightened immediately. the softness in his expression shutters halfway, confusion flickering across his face. "right. yeah, of course," he stuttered. you grabbed your bag from the chair near the counter, fumbling slightly with the strap because, for some reason, your hands felt extra clumsy.
why did you act like that?
"sorry, i didn't realize how late it got." you added, a little breathless. "it's fine." his tone was calm, but there was something underneath it — something unreadable. "i can walk you out." but he had already moved toward the door.
at the door, you slipped on your shoes, avoiding his eyes. the vulnerability from minutes ago hung between you like something fragile that neither of you knew how to pick back up. he opened the door for you, the cold night air rushing in.
you stepped onto the threshold, then hesitated. you turned back. he stood there, one hand still on the door, the other resting against the frame. his expression wasn't guarded anymore, but uncertain. like he was replaying the last five minutes and tried to figure out where the ground shifted.
"goodnight, jay."
he studied you for a second too long. "night."
the next evening, the air was cooler than it had been the night before. you noticed immediately when you stepped out of the car — the faint chill brushing against your arms, the smell of grass and damp pavement lingering after the sun had gone down, the soft rustling of leaves somewhere overhead.
the park lights had just flickered on, casting warm yellow circles across the walking paths. the playground glowed softly in the distance. seoyeon was already halfway across the playground before you had even finished closing the car door. "seoyeon—!" you called.
too late, she was gone. her small sneakers slapped against the rubber ground as she sprinted toward the jungle gym like she had been waiting all day to burn off energy. you shut the car door with a sigh, but there was a smile tugging at your mouth anyway. "seoyeon!" you tried again.
she turned around briefly while running, hair bouncing wildly. "no!" she yelled back with absolute confidence, then ran faster. you groaned, "oh, come on."
behind you, jay locked the car with a soft beep and leaned casually against it for a moment, arms folding across his chest as he watched the scene unfold. a quiet smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, but his eyes drifted back to you. the way you had already started after her without hesitation, sleeves pushed up, hair slightly messy from the breeze. he caught himself watching for a second too long before he looked away.
somehow, after last night, everything felt slightly different. the kitchen conversation still lingered in your mind like an echo that hadn't faded yet. the way his voice sounded when he admitted he didn't know if he was enough. the way his hand had tightened around yours. the way his eyes looked at you like something inside him had shifted.
now here you were, standing a few feet away from him like nothing had changed. except it had, even if neither of you said it out loud.
"are you going after her or just letting her escape?" he called lazily from behind you. you glanced over your shoulder at him. his expression was relaxed, but his eyes lingered on you just a second longer than necessary. "i'm going. someone has to," you said, starting toward the playground. you pointed at him, "and i know it's not going to be you."
you jogged across the grass toward the playground. the moment seoyeon saw you coming, she gasped like a tiny criminal caught in the act. "noooo!" she darted behind the slide, disappearing from sight. you slowed down dramatically, placing your hands on your hips and pretending to look around. "hm, i could've sworn there was a tiny human here a second ago."
you walked slowly past the slide, a giggle echoing from behind it. "oh no..." you murmured. "i think she might be hiding."
another giggle burst out. you crept closer. "i hope she didn't disappear forever," you continued, playing along. her father would be very upset."
suddenly, seoyeon exploded from behind the ladder and ran straight past you. you gasped in exaggerated betrayal, "oh! there she is!" you chased her again, arms outstretched as she shrieked with laughter.
jay had wandered over to the benches by then, hands resting in his jacket pockets as he watched the two of you run circles. he didn't realize he was smiling. there was something about the way you treated her. not only playful, but also patient and easy, like being around her didn't feel like a responsibility to you. and when you laughed — breathless and bright — something in his chest tightened unexpectedly.
seoyeon finally ran out of steam near the swings. she bent forward slightly, breathing hard, hair messy from the wind and running. "appa," she called between breaths, pointing at the swing. jay pushed himself off the bench. "yes, princess?"
"push me."
you arrived a second later, trying to catch your breath. "she tricked me into cardio," you muttered. jay snorted, "rookie mistake."
seoyeon climbed onto the swing and grabbed the chains tightly. jay stepped behind her and gave the seat a gentle push. the swing moved forward slowly, then back, then forward again. "higher," the toddler demanded. jay pushed again, slightly harder this time. "you always say that."
you leaned against the metal frame of the swing set nearby, watching them. jay's movements were calm and familiar. there was something about him when he was with her. you noticed it more clearly now than you had before. your chest softened slightly.
seoyeon eventually dragged her shoes against the ground after a few minutes, slowing the swing until it stopped. then she hopped off as if she had finished an important mission, "okay!"
jay blinked. "that's it?"
but she had already grabbed both your hands before either of you could react. her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around yours and jay's. she started marching down the paved path that circled the playground. "walk with me."
seoyeon swung your arms as she walked proudly between you. the three of you moved slowly under the glowing park lights. the sky had turned deep blue, the first stars just barely visible between the tree branches.
for a moment, everything felt peaceful. then suddenly, seoyeon stopped so abruptly that you and jay nearly bumped into her. she looked up at the both of you with narrowed eyes. "why don't you two hold hands?"
your brain completely blanked. "i— what?"
jay cleared his throat, "that's not really—"
seoyeon frowned, "you guys are walking weird. like this—" she exaggerated two stiff arm swings while still holding your hands. "like robots."
during the demonstration, she had shifted slightly. now your hand and jay's were only a few centimeters apart. your fingers brushed lightly when she swung your arms again. both of you stiffened. seoyeon looked between you suspiciously. "just hold hands."
neither of you moved, making her sigh dramatically — the kind only toddlers somehow perfected. "you're adults." then she suddenly dropped both your hands. before you could do anything, she ran several steps ahead down the path. "you two catch up!"
and just like that, the buffer between you disappeared. now you were walking side by side. your hands hung awkwardly near each other, the space very noticeable — too noticeable. your hands brushed again accidentally when your steps matched.
jay hesitated, a small pause in his movements. like he was deciding something. then, his hand reached out. his fingers wrapped gently around yours. "for balance," he said quietly, like he was explaining it to himself as much as to you. you looked up at him. he kept his gaze forward, jaw tight. but the tips of his ears were faintly red. your chest fluttered. and this time, you didn't pull away. your fingers shifted slightly in his hand instead — fitting more naturally. something in your shoulders relaxed without you realizing it.
ahead of you, seoyeon turned around when she realized you weren't immediately behind her. her eyes dropped instantly to your hands, and her entire face lit up. "there! see? not weird anymore!" she pointed out proudly. jay laughed quietly under his breath. your fingers tightened around his slightly. and as you continued walking down the path together.
seoyeon marched ahead of you both like she was leading an expedition, hopping from one crack in the pavement to another with the full seriousness of someone balancing over lava. "careful, princess!" you told her. "i know!" she shouted back. her arms stretched out like a tightrope walker, lips pursed in concentration. "if i fall, i die!"
jay chuckled softly beside you. "that's dramatic," he said. "hey, those are the rules," you spat with a quiet laugh. seoyeon leapt across a wider gap, landing with a triumphant little hop before continuing down the sidewalk.
jay walked beside you, close enough that your shoulders brushed occasionally when the path narrowed. your hand was still in his. for a while, neither of you spoke. but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. if anything, it felt careful — the both of you aware of something new between you and didn't want to move too quickly and break it.
the air carried quiet sounds of the evening. leaves rustling, a distant car passing, seoyeon humming to herself as she chased her own shadow further ahead. you watched her with a faint smile tugging at your lips. then you said it without really thinking. "well... enjoy it while it lasts."
jay glanced at you, brow lifting slightly. "hm?"
"i mean this." you gestured toward seoyeon, who was now trying to walk along the edge of the curb again like a balance beam. "the park trips. the chaos."
jay tilted his head slightly, amused. "you're acting like we're moving away tomorrow."
you laughed softly, shaking your head. "i just mean... eventually. i won't always be around to do this stuff with her."
the words were meant to be casual — an offhand comment. but the moment they left your mouth, jay stopped walking. your hand was still in his so when his steps halted, your arm tugged slightly. you turned toward him, "what?"
he was staring at you. not confused. it was something sharper than that. "what do you mean?" your smile faded a little. "oh— nothing," you said quickly. "just... you know. life." jay didn't move. the warmth of his hand around yours suddenly felt tense. "what life?" he pressed.
"i meant like... that's how life works," you replied with a small shrug. "people move. careers change. i might take opportunities somewhere else eventually."
the moment the words left your mouth, jay let go of your hand. "you're leaving?" he asked. you frowned, "i— i didn't say that."
"but you're thinking about it."
"i'm thinking about my future," you defended, confusion creeping into your voice. he dragged a hand through his hair, pacing a few steps forward before turning back toward you. "that's not the same thing, yn." you were confused. lost. you couldn't pinpoint what he meant. "jay, it's normal to have plans."
"plans that don't include us?" the words slipped out before he could stop them. "us?" you repeated slowly.
he looked away immediately, jaw tightening like he wished he could talk it back. ahead of you, seoyeon was still kicking a small rock along the pavement like it was a soccer ball, completely oblivious to whatever storm was unfolding behind her. "why are you reacting like this?" you asked in a whisper. "why does it matter so much to you?"
"you remember what i told you last night?"
your chest tightened slightly at the memory. the kitchen, the quiet house, the way his voice cracked as he spoke about standing in the hallway while seoyeon cried. "i remember," you said softly. jay nodded. "then you know why." he stepped closer, lowering his voice instinctively even though seoyeon was far enough. "do you know how long it took her to trust someone after everything with her mom?"
your stomach twisted. "jay—"
"i spent two years making sure she felt stable again. making sure she didn't think people just... disappear like that," he continued. "and now she's attached to you. more than i've seen with anyone in a long time."
you swallowed, "i care about her too."
"i know you do."
you shifted your weight. "then what's the problem?"
he looked at you like the answer should have been obvious. "the problem is that you're important not only to her." he inhaled before continuing. "you think it's easy for me? pretending i don't feel anything?" his frustration spilled just like the previous night. you stared at him. "what?"
jay let out a breath like something inside him had finally snapped loose. "do you have any idea how hard it is for me to act normal around you?" his voice was tight. "after everything i told you last night?"
"i was terrified of letting someone into my life again. everything got messy. it hurt seoyeon so much." he said. "and then you walk into our lives and suddenly everything feels different again." he gestured vaguely toward the street, the quiet neighborhood, the direction seoyeon had run. "the house feels lighter. she laughs more."
he added, "damn it, i even start looking forward to seeing you like some idiot."
"and now you're casually talking about leaving," he finished, voice dropping.
the silence between you stretched tight. you crossed your arms slightly, biting the inside of your cheek. "you think you're the only one struggling here, jay?"
he blinked.
"you think this, whatever this is, has been easy for me?" you continued. your voice wasn't loud, but it was slightly shaking now. "i've been trying to keep distance for months," you admitted. "trying to act like i don't notice the way you look at me. or how things feel when we're around each other."
"you're the one who said you didn't want anyone close again. you made it clear," you muttered. "so what exactly was i supposed to do with that?"
his expression faltered. the question hit him harder than anything else you had said. your voice lightened despite the ache building in your chest. "i care about you, jay." the admission settled into the night air between you. "I care about seoyeon too. and that's exactly why i've been careful."
his gaze dropped to the pavement. "i know. i was just scared."
your heart thudded painfully in your chest. after everything he told you last night about his marriage, about the divorce, about feeling like he failed, about everything — his reaction made sense.
seoyeon's voice suddenly floated back toward you from near the car. "are you guys coming?" she was standing near the car now, hands on her hips, impatient.
neither of you answered. jay's gaze lifted back to yours. you blinked, a tear slipping free. you wiped it quickly with the back of your hand. "coming, princess!" you forced your voice bright.
you turned and started walking toward her. but as you passed jay, he gently caught your wrist. his voice was quiet. "i don't want you to leave." the words were simple, but they carried everything he hadn't said before.
seoyeon groaned dramatically from the car. "if you guys are kissing, i'm telling grandma!" she tested. you let out a startled laugh through the leftover tears. jay rubbed the back of his neck, muttering under his breath, "unbelievable."
the next few days felt different. not dramatically different. nothing obvious enough for anyone outside the house to notice. the routines were still the same — the same breakfast table, the same afternoon cartoons, the same quiet evenings after dinner.
but the air between you and jay had shifted. it was the kind of change that lived in small things — the way conversations ended a little too early, the way both of you suddenly found something else to look at whenever the other walked into the room, the way a thin and fragile silence lingered longer than it used to.
on tuesday noon you were at the dining table beside seoyeon, leaning your elbow on the table as you helped her with her homework. or... tried to help.
she sat cross-legged on the chair, a pencil wedged between her teeth, cheeks puffed slightly as she stared down at the worksheet like it had personally insulted her. you watched her for a long moment before finally speaking. “you’re not even reading the problem,” you said gently. her eyes stayed on the paper, “i am." the words came out muffled around the pencil.
“you’re staring at it," you corrected. “that’s part of reading.” she frowned, looking up at you. you tried very hard not to smile.
across the table, jay sat with his laptop open. a spreadsheet filled the screen — rows and rows of numbers and documents layered behind it. a small bowl of grapes rested beside the laptop. normally by now he would've said something — like some sarcastic comment about seoyeon negotiating with basic math like it was a business contract. or maybe even tease you for being too patient with her.
today he didn’t. he just kept working. the quiet tapping of his keyboard blended with the soft scratching of seoyeon's pencil. you felt his presence in the room the same way you had for months. but now it made your chest tighten so easily.
your eyes stayed glued to the sheet. “so,” you said, tapping the page with the end of your pen. “if there are twelve apples in a basket and you eat four of them—”
seoyeon immediately shook her head. “i would never eat only four apples," she protested. you let out a slow breath. “okay. let's say you heroically eat six apples.”
she considered that carefully, then giggled. “better.”
“how many apples are left in the basket?”
she placed the pencil down and began counting on her fingers with intense concentration. her lips moved silently while she counted. "...six," she announced proudly. you narrowed your eyes. "princess, if you eat six out of twelve— oh." you blinked once, then twice in defeat. she pouted. “still six.”
you couldn't help it — a quiet laugh slipped out of you. "you're right. still six," you nodded solemnly which made seoyeon smile smugly.
out of the corner of your eye, you saw jay glance up from his laptop. the moment was short — barely a second — but it was enough for your stomach to twist. because the second your eyes started to lift, he looked away. and your heart sank a little.
later that evening, you stood on the back porch with your arms loosely wrapped around yourself, leaning your shoulder lightly against the wooden post. seoyeon ran across the grass, kicking a soccer ball that was a little too big. every few steps the ball bounced too far away from her and she chased it with frantic determination.
"careful!" you called half-heartedly. "i am careful!" she shouted back before kicking the ball too hard again.
through the sliding glass door behind you, you could see jay moving around the kitchen. he wiped down the counter slowly, one hand holding a dish towel while the other steadied himself against the marble.
it felt strange. just a week ago, you would’ve been standing inside with him — leaning against the counter, talking about something stupid, teasing him about the way he always looked overly serious while doing the most mundane things. now, it felt like there was an invisible line neither of you wanted to cross.
the memory of the evening at the playground had been replaying in your head on a constant loop. the quiet moment, the conversation, the words that hovered in the air between you. and your own words right before it.
i might take opportunities somewhere else eventually. you groaned quietly to yourself, pressing your fingers against your forehead. why did you say that? why did you make it sound like you were already halfway out the door?
the door suddenly shifted open behind you with a soft sound. your shoulders instinctively straightened. jay stepped outside, the cool air brushing past him as he closed the door. neither of you spoke right away. he walked over to the railing and leaned his forearms against it, his hands clasped together. his gaze drifted toward seoyeon running across the yard. “you’re gonna break something!" he called out to her. “i won’t!” she shouted back instantly before kicking the ball again — it flew sideways and nearly hit a garden pot — and jay could only sigh quietly under his breath.
he shifted slightly beside you. “you don’t have to stay out here,” he said after a moment. your brows knit together, “i know.” another pause settled between you.
god, this was painful. you used to talk so easily. now every sentence felt like stepping on unstable ground. you rubbed your arm absentmindedly, brushing your hand over your sleeve. jay noticed, “are you sure you’re not cold?”
“i said i'm fine.”
seoyeon suddenly kicked the ball too hard. it rolled straight toward the porch and bumped into the steps. she sprinted after it, slightly out of breath when she reached you. “did you see that?” she asked, pushing hair out of her face. “very impressive,” you smiled. jay nodded. “future professional.”
she beamed. then her eyes bounced between the two of you. her expression slowly changed, brows now scrunched. “why are you guys weird?” she asked. jay frowned slightly. “what do you mean weird?”
seoyeon planted a hand on her hips like a tiny detective. “you don’t talk anymore.”
you opened your mouth. nothing came out. jay shifted beside you. “that’s not true,” he said gently. “yes it is," she insisted right away, then pointed at both of you accusingly. “you used to laugh together, and now you don’t,” she added. the bluntness of it hit harder than you expected.
you crouched down in front of her. “we still laugh,” you said softly. she shook her head without hesitation. “no you don’t.” then, her voice grew smaller, “did you fight?”
your heart squeezed. “no,” you responded.
she looked unconvinced. her gaze shifted to jay. “appa?” jay hesitated for a moment, then he crouched down too, meeting her eye level. “we didn’t fight,” he said.
“then why aren’t you two smiling together anymore?” the question hung in the air. it was heavy. jay didn’t answer right away, neither did you. seoyeon looked between the two of you again, clearly waiting for a real explanation. jay rubbed the back of his neck in deep thought. “sometimes adults just… think too much,” he said.
“that’s a dumb reason.”
a chuckle escaped out of you. jay huffed out a quiet breath that might’ve been the beginning of a laugh too. seoyeon brightened immediately. “there!” she shouted suddenly, pointing. “you did it! you smiled at the same time.”
your chest tightened again. jay’s eyes lifted to yours for a brief moment. and this time neither of you looked away immediately, but the weight of everything unspoken was still there — lingering, quiet, and unresolved.
seoyeon kicked the soccer ball again. “okay,” she declared. “you’re both coming to play.” she grabbed your hand, then jay’s, and started pulling both of you toward the grass. jay sighed under his breath, but he let her drag him forward anyway.
the “soccer game” lasted longer than either of you had expected. mostly because seoyeon kept inventing new rules every five minutes. at first, it had been simple enough — kicking the ball back and forth across the yard while she ran wildly between the two of you, giggling every time she managed to steal the ball.
but at some point, the game stopped being soccer entirely. the rules had evolved into something closer to chaotic running, dramatic flopping, and occasional ball kicking. jay jogged after seoyeon as she attempted to run across the yard with the ball clutched under her arm. "hey! no hands, princess!" you yelled playfully. she stopped and gasped at herself, "oops." then she tossed the ball back down and kicked it again.
jay jogged past you with a quiet huff of laughter. "this kid is impossible," he groaned. you looked at him, "you're her dad, jay."
by the time seoyeon finally wore herself out, the sky had turned fully dark and the yard lights cast soft yellow circles across the grass. seoyeon flopped dramatically onto the ground, breathing hard. “i’m done,” she groaned, starfishing on the ground. jay nudged the soccer ball toward the porch with the tip of his shoe. “go grab some water.”
“i can’t move.” her chest heaved up and down rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. jay squinted suspiciously. “you can run ten laps,” he mentioned. seoyeon shook her head in disagreement, “no. i can run one lap ten times.”
“that’s still ten laps.”
seoyeon groaned louder but pushed herself up from the grass anyway, trudging toward the house like she had just completed a marathon. “i’m getting juice!” she shouted as she opened the sliding door. the door slid shut. and just like that, the yard fell quiet again. the sudden silence was noticeable. the distant hum of crickets filled the space where seoyeon's constant chatter had been seconds before.
you leaned your hands on your knees slightly, catching your breath. “she’s going to sleep well tonight,” you said. jay hummed. “one can hope.”
you were both watching the closed door, waiting to make sure seoyeon didn’t immediately reappear with another rule... or a snack she definitely wasn’t supposed to have. when she didn’t, jay finally stepped closer to the porch railing and rested his forearms against it. you joined him a second later.
jay rubbed the back of his neck slowly. your stomach tightened slightly — you knew that gesture. he was thinking about something. “hey,” he said quietly. you glanced over at him. “yeah?”
he didn’t look at you right away. instead, he watched the dark yard like the answer might be somewhere out there. “about what i said the other night," he started. your chest tightened immediately. of course. you tried to keep your voice steady. “which part?”
“…the part where i told you i didn’t want you to leave.”
your fingers curled lightly against the wooden railing. jay finally looked over at you. “i didn’t mean to scare you.”
you turned toward him a little more. “then why did you say it?”
he didn’t answer just then. the porch light cast soft shadows across his face. his jaw shifted slightly the way it always did when he was choosing his words carefully. “i didn’t plan to.” he rubbed his thumb across the railing absently. “for the record, i wasn’t trying to pressure you.” he said quietly. “i just…” he paused, searching for the right words. “i reacted.”
“to what?”
he finally turned his body toward you. “to the idea of you not being here.” the honesty in his voice made your stomach flip.
“like… you could wake up tomorrow and decide that a job somewhere else makes more sense,” he continued. “or that being tied to… this situation isn’t what you want long-term.” he gestured faintly toward the house — toward the life inside it, toward seoyeon.
your chest tightened. “that’s not fair.” jay looked deep into your eyes. “i know. but it matters to me.”
jay took a step closer, closing the distance enough that you could feel the warmth of his presence more clearly now. “you asked earlier why I reacted like that,” he said quietly. “this is why.”
your pulse thudded loudly in your ears. “jay…”
“i spent a long time convincing myself that i didn’t need anyone like that again,” he continued, his voice remained steady. “but then you showed up.” your heart was beating way too fast now. he carried on, “and suddenly everything I worked so hard to keep simple got complicated again.”
you let out a quiet breath. “you make it sound like that’s a bad thing.”
he shook his head slowly. “that’s the problem, yn.” he looked down for a second before lifting his gaze back to you. “it's not.”
he took another small step forward. now the space between you was barely a couple of feet. “do you know how many times i’ve almost said something to you?” he said quietly. your lips parted slightly. “what kind of something?”
his mouth twitched faintly, “exactly the kind you’re thinking.” your stomach flipped hard. his gaze dropped briefly to your hands resting against the railing, then slowly lifted back to your face. “i really tried not to. because i know that the moment i say it out loud, things will change.”
he studied you carefully. he inhaled like he was finally about to say the thing he’d been circling around for days. “yn, i—”
“appa!”
seoyeon’s voice burst through the open sliding door. the both of you jumped a little before turning toward the house. she stood in the doorway holding a bottle of juice. “i can’t open this!”
jay closed his eyes briefly, a quiet and defeated exhale escaping him. you couldn’t stop the small laugh that slipped out. the timing was almost unbelievable. seoyeon waved the carton impatiently. “hello?!”
jay rubbed his forehead. “coming, princess.”
he glanced back at you. then, seoyeon shouted again. “appaaaa!”
jay shook his head with a quiet sigh and started walking toward the door. but before stepping inside, he paused. his gaze flicked back to you once more. and even though he hadn’t finished what he was about to say… you were almost certain you already knew what it was.
that night, the kitchen smelled of garlic and sesame oil. the scent had slowly filled the apartment over the last twenty minutes, warm and savory, drifting down the hallway and curling around the living room like an invitation to come closer. the overhead light above the stove cast a soft golden glow across the countertops, reflecting faintly against the stainless steel pots and the glossy tiles behind the range.
jay stood at the stove, one hand gripping the handle of a pan while the other stirred slowly with a wooden spatula. every few seconds, the pan hissed quietly, the sound sharps but comforting in the otherwise calm kitchen.
you sat at the small dining table helping seoyeon arrange chopsticks beside the plates. the table had already been set with plates and napkins, but she had taken it upon herself to handle the chopsticks like they were the most important responsibility in the house. she approached it with the seriousness of a tiny event planner.
each pair had to be perfectly parallel. she placed one down, leaned back slightly to inspect it, then leaned forward again to adjust it by barely half a centimeter. then she frowned, then moved it again.
you rested your elbow on the table and propped your cheek against your hand, watching her reposition the exact same set for the third time. "princess," you muttered lazily, voice quiet but amused. "they were fine the first time."
"they're not," she replied stubbornly. she nudged one of them again, then the other.
you exhaled a quiet laugh through your nose. "you're very particular for someone who just spent thirty minutes making up illegal soccer rules," you murmured. "that wasn't illegal!" she protested, placing both hands on the table as she defended herself.
jay let out a quiet huff from the stove. he was still focused on cooking, shoulders relaxed while he stirred the pan again, but the corner of his mouth twitched faintly like he was fighting a smile. seoyeon noticed it. "see?" she pointed a finger toward him. "appa agrees with me."
"i didn't say anything, princess," he replied without looking up. she shrugged sassily, "you didn't have to."
you snorted softly, shaking your head.
the quiet comfort of the kitchen wrapped around the three of you after that, the argument dissolving into easy silence — the clink of dishes, the scrape of the chair leg against tile, the low hum of the range hood above the stove.
jay reached forward to turn the heat down slightly, stirring the vegetables once more before adding a splash of sauce from a small glass bowl. the pan hissed louder for a moment as the liquid hit the hot surface. the smell immediately deepened. seoyeon sniffed the air dramatically. "it smells so good," she announced. jay nodded, "that's the goal, princess."
a minute later, jay turned off the stove. the sudden quiet after the sizzling stopped made the room feel calmer somehow. "dinner's ready," he stated simply. seoyeon immediately climbed onto her chair at the table like she hadn't been the one pretending to be exhausted twenty minutes earlier after the so-called soccer match. you carried the last bowl over while jay set the pan down in the middle of the table, steam curling upward in thin ribbons.
the three of you settled into your seats. jay sat across from you. seoyeon sat beside you, swinging her legs under the chair while she picked up her chopsticks. for a few minutes, the only sounds were chopsticks tapping lightly against bowls and seoyeon happily chewing her food. then— "appa, i have something important to say."
jay glanced up. "that sentence never leads to anything good," he said. seoyeon's eyes widened, "it does!"
she then sat up straighter in her chair, clearly preparing for something dramatic. you glanced between the two of them with mild curiosity. "i have a performance next week!" she cheered. you raised both eyebrows, "really? what kind of performance?"
"dance!" her eyes sparkled with excitement. jay wiped his mouth with a napkin. "the one you mentioned yesterday with the sparkly shoes?" he cocked an eyebrow. she nodded vigorously, "yes!"
seoyeon then turned her full attention toward you. her expression suddenly softened into something hopeful. "yn?" she pouted. you blinked, "yes?"
"will you come?"
the question caught you a little off guard. your eyes flickered briefly toward jay. "i—" you hesitated for a second before answering carefully but warmly with a grin. "i would love to." her face immediately lit up. "but," you added, lifting a finger. "only if your appa says it's okay."
seoyeon turned her entire body toward jay so quickly her chair squeaked against the floor. "appa, you have to say yes. you're going to say yes. pleeeeeease."
he narrowed his eyes slightly as he studied her, leaning back in his chair slowly. "why are you negotiating like this?"
"because this is really important."
jay looked at you. you tried to seem neutral, suddenly very interested in your rice. seoyeon leaned across the table toward him. "she has to come," she practically threatened. jay frowned slightly, "why?" he questioned. seoyeon looked like the answer was obvious. "because." she uttered. jay tilted his head in mild amusement, "that's not an explanation."
she thought for a moment. then pointed at you. "because she's my person." the words landed softly but heavily in the space between you. your chest tightened a little, warmth flooding up into your throat. you stared down at your plate, blinking quickly as you felt the slightest sting behind your eyes. across you, jay went still for a mere moment.
seoyeon continued, completely unaware of the emotional bomb she had just dropped. "and everyone's parents will be there," she explained. "and some people even bring their grandparents and cousins and stuff."
jay rubbed his temple. "you'll already have me there."
she crossed her arms stubbornly. "yeah, but that's not the point." she leaned closer, lowering her voice like she was revealing a top secret mission. "i want both of you there."
your heart skipped a beat. jay stared at her. "...both of us."
seoyeon then slid out of her chair. she marched around the table and planted herself beside jay, wrapping her arms around his arm dramatically. "appa," she pleaded. jay looked down at her, "you're emotionally manipulating me."
she only squeezed tighter. "please?" she begged over and over. jay sighed quietly, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "you know she doesn't actually need my permission to attend a public school performance," he explained, glancing toward you. you shrugged lightly. "she asked you."
"appaaaaa," she sang. jay looked at her again. her eyes were wide, hopeful, completely determined. he stared at her for a long moment, then his gaze shifted toward you. something thoughtful passed through his expression. "...fine."
seoyeon gasped like it was a miracle. "really?!"
he nodded, "yes." when the words left jay's lips, she immediately launched herself into a hug around his neck. "you're the best appa ever!" she celebrated. he chuckled, patting her back, "i know."
she spun around toward you with pure excitement. "you're coming!" she jumped up and down. you laughed softly, "i guess i am."
and the next week arrived quicker than you expected. the days seemed to blur together in a strange mix of routine and anticipation. every morning started the same way — seoyeon reminding both of you about her performance like it was a national holiday. at breakfast, before school, after school, during dinner, and once while brushing her teeth with toothpaste foam still clinging to the corners of her mouth.
"you're coming, right?" she had asked for what had to be the fifth time that morning while tugging on her backpack straps. jay stood near the door holding his car keys, already half prepared to drive her to school. "yes," he said patiently. "we're coming."
seoyeon narrowed her eyes slightly, studying him like she was checking for signs of dishonesty. she looked at you next, "you too?" she interrogated. you nodded, "i said i would."
she puffed her cheeks out slightly and tilted her head up toward you, eyes wide and suspicious in the most adorable way possible. "promise?" she inquired. you nodded with a chuckle, "promise."
the sky was gray by the time you and jay arrived at the school that afternoon. clouds hung low overhead, heavy with the kind of rain that felt inevitable. the parking lot buzzed with parents arriving, umbrellas tucked under arms just in case. children ran through the front gates laughing, their voices echoing across the courtyard.
jay walked beside you toward the gymnasium, one hand shoved into the pocket of his jacket. he looked somewhat tense. not obviously, but you noticed the small things. like the way his jaw shifted slightly, the way he kept checking the time on his phone, the way his fingers tapped lightly against the side of his leg as you walked.
"you look more nervous than she does," you murmured. jay glanced at you. "i'm not nervous," he claimed but his voice was slightly shaking. you hummed quietly. "right, of course."
he sighed under his breath. "it's her first performance," he said defensively. "and she worked really hard on it. so i just want it to go well." he looked ahead toward the gym doors, gulping. your lips curved slightly. "it will."
his eyes scanned your expression. "you sound very confident," he raised one eyebrow. you squinted, "she's literally seoyeon, jay." and that seemed to satisfy him more than any detailed explanation could have.
inside, the gym was already filling with families. rows of folding chairs stretched across the floor facing a small temporary stage decorated with colorful paper stars and balloons. soft music played from speakers near the stage while teachers hurried around organizing the children.
you and jay found seats about halfway back. the seats were close enough that your shoulders brushed occasionally when either of you shifted. neither of you commented on it.
jay leaned forward slightly, resting his forearms on his knees while scanning the stage. "do you see her?" his leg bounced anxiously. you squinted toward the curtain where a cluster of small dancers stood waiting in glittery costumes. "third from the left," you spotted. he followed your gaze. seoyeon stood near the edge of the group, wearing a sparkly blue outfit and matching hair ribbon. she was bouncing lightly on her feet like she physically couldn't stand still. jay let out a quiet breath. "god, she looks tiny."
you giggled, "she is tiny."
"i know, but still," he muttered. you could see the pride written clearly across his face.
when the lights turned off and the music finally started, the chatter in the gym quieted. the children ran onto the stage. seoyeon spotted the two of you almost immediately. her eyes widened and she waved enthusiastically. jay lifted his hand in a small wave back. "focus," you whispered, slapping his hand lightly. he dropped it quickly.
the dance began. it was a chaotic mix of enthusiastic arm swings, slightly delayed steps, and occasional confusion about where everyone was supposed to stand. but seoyeon danced like she was performing in front of a stadium. she spun dramatically, clapped off-beat, and at one point she looked directly at you and jay again just to make sure you were still watching.
jay leaned closer to you just a little. "is she supposed to be that far to the left?" he scratched the top of his head. you licked your lips, "...probably?"
"she's not following the line," he mumbled. you shook your head, "it's interpretive."
he huffed quietly and answered many questions, but the widest grin ever never left his face.
when the music ended, the entire gym erupted into applause. seoyeon bowed enthusiastically with the rest of the group. then the moment the curtain started to close, she bolted off the stage. you both barely had time to react before she came sprinting across the gym floor straight toward the two of you. "appa! yn!"
jay stood up just in time to catch her, carrying her into his arms. she crashed into him at full speed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "did you see me?!" she had the widest smile you'd ever seen. "yes! you were amazing, princess." he pulled her into a tight hug and landed a small kiss on the top of her head. she immediately turned toward you next. "did you see my spin?" she beamed. you leaned to hug her, "i saw everything."
without really thinking about it, the three of you ended up wrapped together in one tangled hug. seoyeon clung to both of you proudly. for a moment, none of you moved. it felt... natural. like something that had happened a hundred times before.
a voice suddenly spoke nearby, "oh! there she is."
you turned slightly. one of the teachers walked over with a clipboard in hand. she smiled warmly at the three of you. "she did wonderfully, didn't she?" she raised her eyebrows. jay nodded instantly, "she did."
the teacher looked between the two of you. "you must be very proud," she exclaimed. "we are," you said.
she tilted her head. "are you seoyeon's parents?"
your brain froze for a second. you wanted to deny it, the words were on the tip of your tongue. but before you could answer, jay spoke first. "something like that."
the teacher smiled kindly. "well, you two make a very supportive couple," she didn't forget to mention. you instinctively glanced at jay. he didn't correct her, didn't clarify, he simply held seoyeon in his arms while looking down at her with twinkling eyes. "thank you," he responded calmly.
the gymnasium slowly began to empty after the performance ended. parents gathered their children, teachers stacked folding chairs, and the low hum of conversation filled the space again as families filtered toward the exits. the stage lights dimmed, leaving the colorful paper stars hanging above the curtain swaying slightly.
you and jay walked toward the front entrance while seoyeon bounced between the two of you, still wearing her sparkly blue costume and ribbon. the tiny dance bag hung loosely from jay's shoulder as he followed along beside you.
jay glanced down at the two of you and shook his head softly when seoyeon couldn't stop talking and asking questions to you. "we created a monster," he said. you nudged him lightly with your shoulder and corrected, "you created a star."
by the time you reached the front doors, the sky outside had darkened noticeably. the heavy gray clouds that had hovered all afternoon had finally given in. it wasn't pouring yet, but a soft drizzle had started falling across the parking lot. seoyeon pressed both hands against the glass doors and peered outside, "rain!"
"we should run to the car," jay frowned. before he could even reach into the bag for an umbrella, seoyeon had already pushed the door open and darted outside. "what— seoyeon!" you said.
she skipped straight into the drizzle, tilting her face up toward the sky while raindrops dotted her ribbon. you laughed quietly and followed her out into the cool air. "hey, hey. you're going to get soaked, princess," you called, jogging a few steps closer to her. she stretched her arms out as the light rain fell around her, "but it feels nice!"
behind you, jay was still fumbling through the bag. by the time he finally found the umbrella and stepped outside, he noticed the two of you already several steps away in the rain. he sighed then jogged toward you.
you had just brushed a small raindrop off seoyeon's cheek when footsteps splashed quickly behind you. "seriously?" jay said as he reached you, slightly out of breath. you turned just in time to see him open the umbrella over his head. "i leave for five seconds and you two start a rain festival."
he then instinctively grabbed your wrist and pulled you under the umbrella with him. the movement was quick and automatic, and suddenly, you were standing directly beneath the umbrella with him — very close.
the umbrella wasn't very large, which meant your shoulders nearly touched. rain tapped softly against the umbrella above you, the steady sound filling the quiet space.
a few stray droplets had caught in jay's hair before he opened it. one slowly slid down along his temple before disappearing into the collar of his jacket.
you noticed it. and apparently he noticed you noticing.
the world suddenly felt a little quieter. seoyeon's splashing in a nearby puddle echoed faintly somewhere behind you, but the sound felt distant. jay cleared his throat softly. "you'll catch a cold," he murmured. you looked up at him, and he was already looking at you. there was barely any distance between your faces.
jay inhaled slowly, his chest rising and falling beneath the damp fabric of his jacket. the faint warmth of his breath mixed with the cool rainy air between you. rainwater slid off the edge of the umbrella and dripped steadily onto the pavement beside your shoes.
his hand brushed lightly against yours. your heart began beating just a little faster. jay's eyes flicked downward for a brief second — just long enough for you to notice — before returning to yours. his grip tightened slightly around the umbrella handle. another inch closer and—
splash! cold water exploded across the front of your shoes. both of you jumped. seoyeon stood there beside a large puddle, staring at you proudly. "look!"
the moment shattered instantly.
seoyeon stomped again and again. jay dragged a hand down his face with a quiet groan, "princess..."
you burst out laughing. jay turned to look at you, his expression caught somewhere between exasperation and amusement. "you're encouraging her," he accused. "i'm not," you protested through your laughter.
seoyeon grabbed your hand suddenly, "come jump with me!" she grinned. not giving you a chance to object, she tugged you toward the puddle. "hey—" jay began.
too late. splash! water soaked the edge of your pants as seoyeon jumped again, giggling loudly. jay stood there for a moment watching the two of you. then he sighed quietly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "unbelievable." but instead of stopping you, he stepped closer and tilted the umbrella so it covered the both of you again. "if you get sick, i'm not explaining to the doctors that you caught penumonia because you joined a five-year-old puddle gang."
you laughed again, breathless. jay watched you for a second longer than necessary. rain dotted the sleeve of your jacket, and you hair started to curl from the moisture. and for a bried moment, he thought — you looked really good like this. he cleared his throat quickly and looked away before the thought lingered too long. "alright, car. now."
by the time you returned home, night had settled quietly. the rain from earlier had faded into a softer drizzle that tapped lightly against the windows. inside, everything felt calm again after the excitement of the performance. seoyeon had changed out of her sparkly costume and into her pajamas, though the blue ribbon still hung slightly crooked in her hair because she refused to take it off. "i'm keeping it!" she declared, and jay didn't bother to argue.
now the three of you sat around the small living room coffee table. seoyeon laid on her stomach on the floor with a box of crayons scattered around her while she worked very seriously on a sheet of paper.
jay leaned back on the couch behind her, absently scrolling through his phone while keeping one eye on whatever she was doing. you sat nearby, legs tucked beneath yourself, watching the quiet little scene unfold.
"done!" she suddenly announced as she popped up onto her knees. "look!" she held the paper up proudly. you leaned forward immediately and jay lowered his phone. the drawing was exactly what you'd expect from a five-year-old — uneven stick figures, bright crayon colors, and a large yellow sun floating in the corner.
three figures stood in the center holding hands. "that's me," she said, tapping on the smallest one in the middle that had a blue ribbon scribbled on top of its head. then she pointed to the taller one on the left, "that's appa," she said. jay smiled faintly. then she pointed to the third figure, "and that's yn."
she beamed, "it's our family picture."
you breath hitched slightly. then you smiled softly, "it's beautiful," you told her. jay nodded slowly, though his eyes lingered on the drawing longer than yours did. "yeah, it is," he murmured. seoyeon happily hung the drawing on the fridge with a magnet before running off to brush her teeth, still humming the dance music from earlier.
the moment passed — or, at least it seemed like it had. later that night, the house was dark and still. seoyeon had fallen asleep almost instantly after jay carried her to bed. the hallway light glowed faintly under her door while rain continued to fall softly outside.
you were in the kitchen, rinsing a glass when you felt someone step into the room behind you. you dried your hands and turned to see him eyeing the fridge — seoyeon's drawing. something in his expression looked tight. "don't do that." his voice was quiet, but it cut through the silence.
your forehead bunched. "do what?" you queried. jay exhaled slowly, running a hand over the back of his neck. "don't make her get used to you if you're planning to leave."
the words hit harder than you expected. you stared at him for a moment, trying to process what he had just said. "i'm not planning to leave," you assured. his jaw shifted slightly, and he started rambling. "she's a kid and she gets attached. and if you one day just decide to leave—"
"i'm not planning to leave, jay," you repeated, now with a much louder voice. a long pause followed as he looked at you with his lips parted. then your voice softened, "...unless you don't want me to stay."
he froze. for a moment, the only sound in the room was the rain hitting the windows. "why would you say that?" he asked quietly. you crossed your arms, "because you're acting like i'm temporary. but what about you?"
his expression shifted, "what about me?" he blinked. you held his gaze, "if i left tomorrow, would that really just hurt seoyeon?" silence stretched between you. then he looked away, "no."
you hadn't realized how close you had stepped until you noticed you were standing only a foot away from him now. "she already sees you as a family," he said. you nodded once, "and you?" your voice barely rose above a whisper. his shoulders rose with a slow breath. with a rougher voice, he answered, "i tried not to. but i started looking for you too."
your heart thudded painfully in your chest. "you think i want to walk away from that?" you chuckled like it was ridiculous. jay looked at you again, the tension now thick enough to touch. "you have no idea what you've become to us."
you swallowed. "then stop acting like i'm going to disappear," you added. jay stepped closer without even seeming to realize it, and something in his expression broke then. he reached for you like it was reflex. his hand wrapped around your wrist before sliding up your arm, pulling you toward him.
the kiss happened before either of you could think twice. it wasn't gentle — weeks of tension crashed together in one breathless moment. his mouth found yours with a kind of urgency that made your pulse spike. jay's other hand slid around your waist, pulling you flush against him. the kiss deepened quickly, now hungry and desperate. all the words you'd been holding back poured into it instead.
when you finally broke apart to breathe, his forehead rested against yours. the both of you breathed a little harder than before. jay's hand was still resting at the back of your neck, fingers lightly tangled in your hair like he wasn't ready to let go. "you shouldn't have said that you'd stay," he murmured quietly.
your brows knit together, "why?" you asked as you tried to catch your breath. his thumb brushed slowly along your jaw, gaze searching yours. "because now i'm going to hold you to it."
the way he said it made your stomach tighten. "good," you said softly. something in his eyes flickered at that. his hand slid down to your waist and pulled you closer again. this time the kiss started slower and much deeper — like he was taking his time learning the shape of you.
jay backed you a few steps until your hips bumped lightly against the kitchen counter. his hands settled there, gripping while your arms slid around his shoulders. he paused just long enough to look at you again. "tell me to stop."
you didn't. instead, you pulled him down into another kiss. that was all the answer he needed.
he exhaled softly against your mouth, one hand sliding from your waist to rest against the small of your back. the warmth of his palm pressed you closer against him. your fingers slid into his hair, tugging lightly. he groaned when you did. "god..." he muttered under his breath, like he couldn't quite believe it was real.
he broke the kiss once more, both of you gasping for air. his breath came in ragged puffs. "i've wanted to do that for so long," he managed to breathe out. you chuckled to yourself, earning a smile from him.
you leaned back just a little, enough to see his whole face. you brushed his hair with one hand, then moved it to his cheek. your thumb rubbed lazy circles on it, jay unconsciously leaning to the warmth of your palm. for a moment, jay just looked at you, chest rising and falling, eyes dark and unreadable. then he let out a slow breath and muttered, "are you... willing to try something real?"
your heart skipped. the words carried so much weight, so much meaning, that it felt like the air itself had grown heavier. your gaze deepened, feeling the vulnerability and honesty behind his question. "yes. i want to try. i want... this."
a slow, relieved smile spread across his face, and he exhaled quietly, as if the words themselves had been holding him hostage. "you mean it?" he asked, caressing your hip.
you nodded, pressing closer, resting your head on his chest. his arms engulfed you in a warm embrace as he placed his head on yours.
"appa?" the small, high-pitched, and all too familiar voice cut through the moment. jay's arms tightened instinctively before he slowly pulled away, turning toward the source of sound. you peeked past his shoulders to see none other than seoyeon, mimi clutched in hand, hair tousled and eyes half-lidded.
jay coughed, clearing his throat. "hey, princess... why are you awake?"
the little girl rose on her tiptoes, eyes landing on you. "yn?" she called. you straightened and plastered a bright grin on your face, "hi, seoyeonnie."
seoyeon yawned. "what are you guys doing?"
jay inhaled sharply, you could practically hear the gears in his head turning. "we, uh—" he hesitated, then scratched the back of his neck.. "appa was just grabbing something behind yn."
seoyeon stared at him for another beat, unimpressed. then she rolled her eyes and turned away. "you could just say you were hugging." she walked back inside her bedroom, closing the door behind her, not forgetting to mumble a small "good night" as she did so.
your mouth hung open right away, a small chuckle of shock leaving your lips. jay stood frozen in front of you. "did she just—" he said, turning around to face you.
you placed a palm on your mouth to stifle your laugh, only to fail right away as you burst out laughing. jay only looked at you, clearly not amused. "you cannot be laughing in a situation like this."
"i'm sorry," you nearly choked on your own words as giggles kept coming out of you.
he rolled his eyes with a groan and dropped his forehead against your shoulder. "i hate you," he murmured. you only laughed harder, knowing his words meant anything but that. "right," you teased softly, "of course you do."
you were still laughing when he let out a long sigh, his breath warm through the fabric of your shirt. "unbelievable," he mumbled. "i just confessed my feelings, almost died of embarrassment, and my daughter decides to humble me." you bit your lip, trying to compose yourself, but a grin kept tugging at the corners of your mouth, "she's too smart."
he straightened, expression now softer and less guarded. "stay."
you blinked, "tonight?"
he nodded, a little hesitant. "not for anything like that," he added quickly. "just... stay. in case she wakes up again. in case i mess up explaining things in the morning." a small pause, then, "in case i need you."
your heart warmed. "i wasn't planning to," you smiled. relief flickered across his face, followed by something quieter and deeper. he glanced at your lips for a second, and you took that as a sign to lean in, lips locking with his again. he moaned, the sound muffled.
your hand travelled down to his chest, then lower to his toned stomach. you felt him shiver under your touch. he leaned back with a small whine escaping his lips, "fuck, yn." you only managed to smirk before he crashed his mouth onto yours yet again.
this time, his hands travelled under your top, landing on your waist and gave it a small squeeze. you whimpered and gripped his hair, inching closer to his body, leaving little to no space in between the two of you. he caressed the soft skin with his thumb, making you melt more each second. he managed to slip his tongue inside your mouth, his spit now mixing with yours. and when the kiss was broken, a string of saliva connected you. you panted lightly, catching your breath. he sighed. "my room?"
you had never accepted to an invitation to bed so fastly, but you didn't (and don't) regret it. honestly, how could you when he was such a gentleman even in an intimate situation?
you laid on the bed, now bare, with jay hovering above you, clothes stripped off as well. "no condom? you sure, baby?" he reassured once more, looking at you with eyes full of care. you nodded once, "i'm so sure, jay. i'm on the pill." and jay mumbled an "okay." you split your legs apart on instinct, a silent call for him to scoot closer.
he looked down, lining up his shaft with your folds. he moved his hips, dick sliding on your slicked pussy. the pressure on your clit made you roll your eyes, "jay... please."
and without further delay, his cock slipped inside you in a painfully slow motion. it felt too good, how his cock slowly and surely filled you up inch by inch. you covered your mouth with a hand, stifling your moan. "ngh!" you muttered, back arching slightly.
jay was no better. god, the feeling of your tight pussy hugging and pulsing around him — he had never felt so much pleasure. "shit, so fuckin' tight," he groaned, voice small, careful not to wake up seoyeon next door.
bottoming out, he asked you, "can i move? do you need a moment?"
you shook your head, and jay immediately got to work. he pulled out more than half, only to slide in again with the same painful amount of force. you moaned along with him, walls now clenching harder around his shaft. "my god, jay—" you cut yourself off with a gasp when he grinded deeper. - he dropped his body on top of yours, pleasure too much to take. he whined beside your ear, "mmh, pussy's practically gripping my cock."
you wrapped your arms around his neck. "jay, more. please," you begged. he thrusted in and out of you with a faster pace then. he latched his lips onto your neck, suckling and leaving marks. "ah—!" you yelped when you felt his teeth nibble slightly on the skin under your ear.
"god, you drive me crazy, yn. you don't know," he muttered between wet kisses on your collarbone. "wanted this for so long." his hand moved up to your breasts, fondling then flicking a nipple. you whined at the feel of it.
he then propped into a slightly different position before continuing his movements. his cock brushed deeper with the new angle, making you moan louder than intended. "jay, fuck—! so deep!" you scratched his back, leaving a red line on his skin. he groaned at the sensation, "y'like that?" and you couldn't form any words, moaning as an answer instead. he chuckled, "yeah, you do, don't you?"
he straightened back up, eyes scanning your body under his. he nearly let out a sound at the sight of you — face contorted in pleasure, hair all messy, sweat glistening your skin, breasts bouncing with each thrust, pussy swallowing his cock whole. "so beautiful, yn. prettiest girl ever," he praised.
your hands fell to your sides, fingers gripping the sheets. your mouth parted, eyebrows scrunching. "jay, i—" you tried to speak, only for the air to be knocked out of you with a hard thrust. "hm? what is it, pretty?" he tilted his head.
"gonna— cum!" your pussy tightened unconsciously, making him groan. "wanna cum, baby? all around my cock?" he teased with an annoyingly attractive smirk on his face. you nodded, "mhm."
"cum for me, then."
and when you let go of the knot in your stomach, you nearly screamed from the feeling. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, body arching more than it ever had. above you, you heard jay curse, "oh, fuck— you squirted, baby, shit—" you looked down to see a liquid covering jay's abdomen. his pace started to falter, his grip on your waist also loosening now that he is closer to his climax. "ngh— gonna fill you up. you want that? want me to fill you with my babies?"
you whined in response, "please."
"shitshitshit—!" he chanted. you felt ropes of warm liquid filling you full from the inside. you looked up at jay whose head was thrown back, mouth opened with a loud moan following it, abs convulsing. he gave one last thrust, burying himself to the hilt.
he then fell beside you, breath heavy with his chest heaving up and down. you turned your head to look at him, and he did the same. a small laugh broke the tension. "come here," he murmured after a second, quieter now.
you shifted closer, resting your head against his chest like you had earlier. his time, he didn't tense. his arms came around you naturally, settling you against him like you belonged there. his fingers traced absent patterns along your arm, slow and careful, like he was memorizing the moment. "that was..." he questioned softly. you nodded against him, "crazy."
you both giggled. you looked up at him, eyes staring deep into his. he leaned down to plant a kiss on your forehead. you beamed, smiling widely. and slowly, your eyes closed and you drifted to sleep with the sound of his steady heartbeat beneath your ear.
morning came with sunlight slipping lazily through the curtains and the unmistakable sound of small footsteps racing down the hallway. you had barely stepped out of jay's room when the door across the hall flew open. "appa!" seoyeon stood there, fully awake now, hair still messy but eyes bright with energy. jay, who had just come up behind you, froze instantly. "morning, princess," he said, voice still rough with sleep.
she tilted her head, eyes bouncing between the two of you, suspiciously observant for someone her age. "hi yn," she greeted more calmly. "good morning, seoyeon," you smiled.
there was a pause. a very loud, very telling pause. "did you guys hug again?"
jay choked. you pressed your lips together, already feeling laughted bubbling up. jay turned to you, eyes wide in silent betrayal. "why is that your first question?" he demaned. seoyeon shrugged, completely unfazed. "i'm curious. it's also because you lie weird, so i'll know if you are."
you couldn't hold it anymore. you laughed, turning away as jay groaned and dragged a hand down his face. "i do not lie weird," he muttered. "you do, appa. you say too many words," she insisted. you leaned down slightly, lowering your voice as if sharing a secret, "i agree with you, seoyeon." she giggled while jay pointed at you. "stop encouraging her."
seoyeon gasped softly, "so you did hug."
"no— yes— i mean—" jay stopped, exasperated. "we're not having this conversation." jay blinked furiously in embarrassment. she crossed her arms, looking entirely unconvinced.
you reached for jay's hand then, lacing your fingers with his before he could overthink it. he stilled for a second, then glanced down, a quiet smile tugging at his lips despite everything. seoyeon notice immediately, eyes widening. "ohhh," she dragged out, pointing at your joined hands. "that's not just hugging."
jay closed his eyes, "i'm never speaking again."
and judging by the way his fingers tightened around yours, he didn't really mean that. not even a little.
i'm back and better than ever!!! (im joking i still pray every second so that evan js suddenly becomes an enhypen member again) 🤍
anw, i hv 4 wips and i am so confused on which one to continue help 😖 i have nerd!won, figure-skater!hoon, single-father!jay, idol!won.................
hi everyone, i thought i should maybe inform you all about this rather than just suddenly disappear. but i will be taking a small hiatus —just for a month.
i've been having a lot on my plate right now. and i don't wanna seem overdramatic but heeseung's leave from the group actually gave quite a big impact on me.
i've been strolling along with enhypen for god knows how long. they've become some kind of comfort place for me. so, receiving such shocking news so suddenly in a casual tuesday isn't really the best. i will, without a doubt, support both enhypen and heeseung, and i will not be removing heeseung from my writing list. but the thing is, i'm very anxious because of it and i honestly cannot focus on anything right now. i didn't even have the feel to eat because of the thought of it.
i would also like to express gratitude and love to every individual who is experiencing or feeling the same as i am. i really do hope everything is okay with heeseung, and i'm sure everything will be much better as soon as possible.
with this, i will be taking a short break from writing, just to calm myself down and get my head in the right place. i assure you i will come back with a much more active and focused version of myself. truly hope you all understand, thank you.
✘ synopsis : you knew it wasn't allowed. you knew it was wrong. do you regret it? not a single bit.
✘ wc : 1.1k+
✘ warnings (MINORS DNI) : dom!jake, sub!reader, unprotected sex, dirty talking, headlocking, a bit of tit play, jake hits reader on the thigh just once, petnames (angel, baby, yunnie)
✘ author's note : this was actually based on an ask i received. butttt i accidentally deleted it :( to whoever wrote it, i am so sorry and i hope this reaches you!
jake sim was never meant to be touched. he was your brother's friend, making him totally off limits. your brother even mentioned it once.
"don't get close to him, yn. i mean it."
but do you listen? no — of course not. you know what they say : rules are meant to be broken.
does it feel wrong? oh, yeah, totally.
do you regret it, though? hell no.
especially not when his soft lips plastered kisses all over your body.
especially not when his tongue lapped up your juices so skillfully.
especially not now, with your ass up and face down while he thrusts into you from behind.
"ngh— feels good, angel?" he groaned as his hips met yours each thrust, the movement hard enough to make the bed shake. he bit his lip, composing himself.
you moaned loudly. "fuck, yun! yes, feels so good—!" you whined out, cutting yourself off with a louder moan when you felt his cock brush deeper.
he chuckled to himself, "ssh, don't be so loud, baby."
"wouldn't want to wake your brother, right? he's sleeping next door."
your eyes shot open. not because of panic, but because the thought of it — your brother catching you and his friend doing the deed — it turned you on more than you thought it should.
you gritted your teeth, letting out a strangled sound.
"what's that? you like the thought of him catching us, don't you?" he asked, voice full of tease and heat.
"mmh! jake—" you rolled your eyes.
he then circled his elbow around your neck, headlocking you, and pulled you up, bare back now flushed against his chest as he continued to pump himself in and out. "answer me, baby," he growled.
you inhaled, hand reaching up to hold his arm. "shit— yes, i... like it," you mumbled.
your words were nearly incoherent but jake heard it anyway. he smirked, "yeah? imagine he comes in right now, seeing his sweet baby sister being fucked relentlessly by his own best friend."
the thought only made your brain melt as you cried out.
you clawed on his arm when you felt your release reaching closer. "yunnie—! i-i think i'm gonna—" you cut yourself with a gasp.
"you gonna cum?" he asked, earning a nod from you.
he then set a much faster pace, making himself groan. "cum for me, angel."
you threw your head back against him as you released around his cock, clenching around him unconsciously. jake moaned, "shit— 'm gonna cum too." and he did. you felt liquid gush inside you as jake slowed down his movements.
he let go of your neck, making you drop onto the mattress, body limp, as his cock slipped out of you.
as you steadied your breath, you heard him say. "come on, angel. one more round," it sounded more like a statement rather than a question.
but you'd say yes anyway.
he held your waist before turning you around, body now facing him. "gosh, you're so beautiful," he praised as his eyes raked over your body.
you smiled at him, "shut up, jake." you covered your face when you felt it get hot.
"are you seriously getting shy while we're doing this?" he laughed lightly, pulling your hands away. and before you could complain, he leaned down to give you a peck on the lips.
he leaned backwards enough to lay his forehead on yours. "you okay? this is the last one, promise."
he'd said this three times already. not that you're complaining, though.
you nodded and wrapped your legs around his waist. he then lined himself up with your folds before finally sliding in slowly. he took no time to bury himself to the hilt, making you both moan.
he was deeper than before due to the change of position. "yun— so fuckin' deep," you strained.
"i know, baby," he replied.
he started moving, gently and slowly at first, grinding his hips whenever it met yours.
you whined. "wan' it faster, yunnie. please."
jake smirked, satisfied. "wish granted," he said before gripping your thighs and thrusting quicker. you threw your head back in ecstasy, nearly screaming when you felt his cock brush a sensitive spot. you gripped the sheets around you, knuckled turning white.
"shit—! oh, angel, you feel so good around my cock." he looked down to see where you both met and his mouth hung open.
when he looked at the state of you — your face contorting from pleasure, tits moving along with the thrusts, the curve of your hips — jake thought you had never looked better.
"mmf—fuck, these pretty titties got me crazy, baby."
he reached out to fondle with one before flicking and squeezing a bud. you groaned and arched your back at the feeling, searching for more. jake chuckled with a deep voice, "love your noises so much."
he leaned down and captured your lips in a hot kiss. it quickly turned into a messy, sloppy make out as your spit mixed with his. and when he let go, a string of salive connected your lips.
he met his forehead with yours. "you love my big cock, don't you?"
you whined and writhed in response, but jake wasn't happy with that. he smacked the side of your thigh, making you jump and unconsciously clench around him. "use your pretty little words, angel," he spoke.
you cried, "yes! fuck, yes— i love your cock, yunnie!"
he smiled and decided to go further, "whose pussy is this baby? 's all mine, right?"
you nodded aggressively, jake was worried if your neck hurt from it. "'s yours, yun— shit, it's all yours. i'm yours—!" you blurted.
"damn right."
he straightened his back and held onto your hips. "you close, baby? wanna cum with you," he said. you shut your eyes as you felt your release nearing and nearing, "mhm, 'm so close."
jake threw his head back for a second before looking at you again, "yeah? wanna cum inside you, fill you up all over again. you want that?"
you gritted your teeth, "yes, yunnie— yes!"
jake grunted, "come on, baby. cum with me."
hearing his words, you moaned — the loudest one that night. — unable to hold it in anymore. your climax washed over you, making you arch your back in pleasure as you felt jake push in harder.
jake was none better. he groaned and groaned, giving one last thrust as his semen spilled all inside you. "shit—!" he cried out.
his body fell onto yours. you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in. his cock was still in you, you could feel it pulse as it softened. the room was hot, your and jake's breath heavy.
and when you were both calm enough, you spoke, "we're in trouble, aren't we?"
Since enhablr is getting so much negativity so im making Another post, but this one is a love letter to all the incredibly talented writers out there.
I don’t spend much my time here as i used to before—Life got busy & i don’t have any frnds here as i mostly keep to myself but i just cannot tolerate unnecessary hate. So i just wanted you guys to know—
You have been my comfort on days I didn’t know how to get through, my escape when reality felt too heavy, and the reason I fell in love with stories in the first place.
You guys have genuinely been my comfort and my inspiration to start writing over the years. I’m endlessly grateful for everything you’ve shared with us — your stories, your worlds, your hearts, your hard work.
As i said—I recently found the courage to start writing too. I wouldn’t be here without you, and I hope I can someday be even a fraction of what you’ve been for me.
Your works, every single thing you’ve ever shared on this platform feels like a piece of art. A gem. A memory I’ll hold onto for a long time. Your words don’t just make me happy; they stay with me, they comfort me, they mean more than I can put into words.
I genuinely get so excited every time you guys update. I’m so deeply grateful for you and for the love, effort, and heart you pour into everything you create. It truly means the world to us.
Thank you so much for your time, your effort, and all the hard work you put into everything you do. I’m truly grateful.
Thank you for continuing to write even in the face of hate, even when it’s hard and completely undeserved. my loves, it only shows how strong you truly are. Thank you for writing fanfics for us despite having your own lives, your own struggles, your own responsibilities. Sometimes people forget that, but you are real human beings, not puppets tied to strings.
Thank you for sharing your ideas and even a little piece of your personal life on this platform, that in itself shows the trust you’ve placed in us, and that means so much. I’m truly sorry if that trust was ever misused in any way.
Thank you for simply being you. Thank you for speaking up, for addressing the hate you’ve faced, and for standing strong in the face of it , your courage inspires more than you know.
Thank you for making us smile, giggle, and laugh after the most exhausting, stressful days. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart guys for the comfort I’ve found in each and every one of your works 🥹❤️🩹. and I love you all wholeheartedly, so fucking much.
You guys are so talented. SO. DAMN. TALENTED.
Every single blog, every story, every post you share is a masterpiece. Please don’t let negativity distract you or make you doubt yourself for a second. your writing is perfect just the way it is. You’re talented, you’re brilliant, and honestly, too good, too perfect to ever let anyone’s hate take that away from you.
Your words have the power to make people feel, to inspire, to heal, and to bring so much joy. Don’t ever forget that what you create matters, what you pour your heart into matters, and so do you. Keep writing, keep sharing, and keep shining, because the world is better for it, and so are we, your readers.
I hope you know that there are people who care about you so much more than you probably realize. And Siren… I’m going to miss you so fucking badly. I’m genuinely crying, I’M SOBBING GODDAMIT and I am not okay at all.
Guys it’s supposed to be my—Our safe place. Please don’t do this. Like really please stop. I hope enhablr becomes a platform everyone feels safe writing for again. Please please please do not do this istg this is my home. 😭😭😭
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Gonna tag all the incredibly talented authors of the fics I’ve read! Your creativity and hard work never fail to amaze me.
Please don’t feel bad if your account isn’t tagged like this is just everyone I’ve managed to find and tag so far. I’m so grateful for all of you who share your stories and bring so much joy and inspiration into our lives. Keep writing, because your words truly matter! ✨
PS — I hope you take a moment to really reflect on the impact of your actions on this community. Your words haven’t just pissed people off but they’ve fucked with their mental health.
I just saw Siren deactivated her account. Did u get what u fucking wanted? Enhablr fumbled so fucking bad. hope you fucking realize that there are real people behind these screen, actual human beings with real feelings—Just like you.
Your words aren’t just harmless noise bro they can hurt like a motherfucker and leave lasting damage. Think before you speak, because the shit you say can seriously fuck someone up.
୨ৎ synopsis : jake just couldn't reject you when you asked to switch positions one night.
୨ৎ warnings (MINORS DNI) : dom!reader, sub!jake, jake's hands are tied behind his back, edging, nipple play, mommy kink near the end, pet names (baby, jakey, good boy, reader calls jake slut once, mommy)
୨ৎ author's note : was a js hard thought i had but im actually debating w myself whether i should make a pt2 to this or not.....*smirks*
subbing wasn't something jake had ever thought of. but when you suggested the idea on a random night, how could he have said no? the thought of having you, his undeniably attractive girlfriend, controlling him, ordering him to do things, making him feel good — aroused him more than he thought it would.
jake was sat on the edge of your shared bed, clothes off, whimpering from your touch. he had never looked so pretty — hands tied behind his back, toned stomach glistening from sweat, cock flushed red, chest rising up and down.
you were sat behind him, clothed chest flushed onto his bare back.
"f—fuck. baby, please," he squirmed as you grazed his abs with your nail.
it was torture — the way you gave the lightest touches everywhere but the place he needed you most.
"please what, jakey?" you asked him seductively, making him visibly shiver. your fingers lowered right to his v line, "be clear."
he gulped and exhaled a shaky breath. " i wan' you to touch... my cock," he mumbled.
"good boy."
jake whined at the use of the nickname. he nodded repeatedly, "mhm, i—i'm your good boy." he sounded more like he was reassuring himself than talking to you.
you took a finger and dragged it along his throbbing shaft. he gasped, back arching just slightly from the sudden pleasure. "nghhh—" he grunted.
your finger circled around his tip, "mmh—! please," he cried.
you wasted no time taking a hold of his cock, moving your hand fastly without warning.
jake's mouth hung open and he let out a moan so loud, you were convinced the neighbors next door could hear. "fuck, baby!" he wriggled in your touch.
you pumped your hand faster — if that was possible — and jake felt like he was on cloud nine. he abs tensed, his toes curled, and he nearly shouted at the pace you set.
"agh! shitshitshit— so good," he whimpered.
you laughed, the whole moment becoming an entertainment to you. "you're such a slut, jakey."
he threw his head back, hips stuttering as it tried to chase more friction. "yesyes— i'm you're slut—!" he cut himself off with a moan. his breath hitched when he felt your other hand touch his chest.
your thumb moved to flick his nipple and he let out a strangled cry. you stimulated it, rubbing circles, making his whole body jerk.
"mmm—" he whined, writhing in your touch.
"you like it when i play with your nipples?" you questioned in a sweet, innocent voice. he hesitated before answering, "i like it... love it, baby."
your smirk grew wider. you planted a kiss on his neck and instinctively, he leaned his head to the side to give you easier access.
"you wanna cum, jakey?" you whispered into his hair. he shuddered at the feeling of your warm breath by his ear. his breath quickened, "fuck— yes, please!" he whined.
you chuckled lightly before letting go of his cock abruptly. he squirmed, hips bucking in effort to meet your touch again. he whined, "ngh, shit— baby, whyyy? pleasee," he cried out as his body wriggled endlessly.
"you cum when i say, jake." your voice was intimidating. "you wanna be a bad boy and go against what i say?"
he gasped and shook his head hard, "nonono— i'm your—your good boy, mommy."
the nickname came out of nowhere. you froze in your spot, blinking once. when jake didn't hear a response from you, he panicked. "shit— yn, i'm sorry. i didn't mean—"
you cut him off, "call me that again."
jake stuttered, "w—what?" his eyebrows scrunched.
"i said, call. me. that. again."
he swallowed a lump in his throat. unsure, he said, "m—mommy?"
and just like that, your hands were on him again — one hand pumping his cock, one hand fiddling his chest.
his back arched at the sudden pleasure, "fuck—!" he spat. his hips twitched, mouth shaping an 'o' as he let out one of the most pornographic moans you'd ever heard.
your hand twisted on his shaft. "mommy, fuck!"
his chest heaved up and down quicker now as his head became foggy from the rush of heat. "mmh, feels too good, mommy!" he gasped when your finger flicked his bud.
"yeah, baby? you like mommy's hands on you like this?" you hummed.
he moaned in response as he thrusted his hips upward into your hand. "ffffuck—! i wan' cum," he murmured, legs starting to shake for the unbearable pleasure he received.
"yeah? beg for it."
he bit his lip and whined. "mommy please— let me cum, please, i'm begging you. i need it!" he snapped, throwing his head back.
you smiled, appreaciating his attempt. "cum for mommy, jakey."
he moaned loudly, throwing his head back, "thank you, mommy— fuck!" his throbbing, red cock twitched in your hold before it spilled out ropes of cum all over his lower stomach and your hand.
it gave him shockwaves, making him tremble and his hips jerk forward.
you slowed your hand as his breathing started to steady. he sighed, burying his face into your neck. he was so blissed out and disheveled, it turned you on.
"you done calming yourself? 'cause we're not done yet, baby."
ᯓ pairing : best friend's brother!heeseung x f!reader
ᯓ synopsis : you never expected a simple sleepover at your best friend’s house to turn into something dangerous. heeseung — jena’s older brother, known for his effortless charm and terrible habit of flirting — was supposed to be off-limits. but stolen glances turn into lingering touches and teasing grows bolder. every visit makes it harder to pretend nothing is happening, and every almost-moment leaves you wanting more.
ᯓ wc : 11.5k
ᯓ warnings (MINORS DNI) : heeseung is around 26 here and reader is 21, smut, softdom!hee, little bit of sub!hee at the end, piv, unprotected sex (don't!!!), tit play, oral (f receiving), fingering, dirty talk, pet names (pretty, baby, seungie, hee calls reader good girl like two times...?), bigdick!hee, riding, missionary, hee is lowk vocal here....
ᯓ author's note : first smut here,, pls bare w me, i am not good :c
the hallway was loud after class, but you and jena had already slipped into your own little bubble — walking side by side, sharing a bag of chips, trying to decide where to spend tomorrow's sleepover.
"your place?" jena offered, kicking a pebble across the pavement. you shook your head, "my room's a mess... and i don't feel like cleaning," you admitted. "same," she sighed dramatically. "i haven't done laundry in, like, a week." you both paused at the entrance steps, staring at each other with the same defeated expression before you burst out laughing.
"so where do we even go, then?" you asked. "hm..." jena tapped her chin, "we could go to a 24 hour cafe and pull an all-nighter."
you wrinkled your nose. "uh— no. i just wanna curl up somewhere comfy."
"hotel?" she inquired.
you responded, "we are literally broke."
jena looked down before replying, "true."
and there was a moment of silence, then jena snapped her fingers. "okay, then we'll do it at my place," she announced. "it's okay, i'll beat my laziness and tidy my room. plus, my fridge is full, and we can be loud without anyone yelling at us because my parents are on a business trip."
"perfect, i'll bring snacks," you grinned.
you bumped shoulders with her as you headed toward the bus stop, already imagining the pile of blankets, the stupid romcoms, and the late-night gossips.
at least, that was until jena added, almost too casually, "oh, by the way... my brother's home."
you turned your head to look at her, "your brother? the one everybody talks about?"
she blinked furiously, "uh, well— yeah, him."
you'd heard of him, of course. everyone had.
lee heeseung.
a campus legend without even trying to be. the tall, effortlessly attractive engineering alumni who people pointed out from afar but never approached.
jena once showed you a candid photo of him grabbing coffee, and even in the blurry shot, he looked unfairly good — messy golden brown hair, long fingers wrapped around a cup, and that stupidly sharp jawline.
apparently, he kept to himself, didn't go out of his way to talk to anyone, and yet every time he showed up on campus to pick jena up, people whispered like he was some celebrity.
you'd never met him. he was just a myth contained inside jena's stories.
you opened your mouth to ask something, but jena cut in immediately, holding up a finger. "and before you say anything, stay away from him," she stated firmly.
you squinted, "what?"
"i'm serious," she stopped walking, turning to face you with the most dramatic older-sister energy ever. "he's annoying, and he's a flirt when he's bored. and you—" she poked your arm, "—are off limits."
you chuckled. "off limits? why? we haven't even met."
"exactly, and i'd like to keep it that way. i know my brother. he sees someone cute or easy to approach, and he starts... teasing," she rolled her eyes.
"teasing?" you frowned.
"yeah. like, annoying-you-into-liking-him teasing. it's disgusting," she shivered. you shook your head, laughing again. "jena, relax. i'm not gonna fall for your brother."
"good," she huffed, "and he better not fall for you."
that same day, at the lee house, jena pushed open the front door with her hip. the house was quiet except for the soft hum of music coming from the living room.
heeseung was there, sprawled on the couch in a loose white tee and grey sweats. his hair a little messy from a nap and his eyes were glued to his phone.
he didn't even look up when she walked in.
"hey," she greeted, dropping her stuff on the floor. "i have news, but don't get too comfy," she added. heeseung hummed without interest. "what, you finally decided to move out?"
"i wish."
she kicked his foot, and only then did he look up, one brow raised lazily. "what is it?"
jena crossed her arms dramatically, "i'm having a sleepover tonight," she declared. heeseung blinked. "okay? you do that all the time."
"yeah, but it's at our place this time."
he put his phone down for that, eyes narrowing slightly like he was already suspicious of where this conversation was going. "who's coming?"
"yn."
the famous yn.
the best friend jena talked about literally every week. the girl who showed up in photos on jena's phone. the one with the bright smile, soft eyes, and pretty laugh he always heard stories about but never in person.
heeseung sat up slowly, stretching an arm over the back of the couch.
"oh," he responded, pretending to be casual, "choi yn?"
"yeah. why'd you say it like that?" jena's eyebrows scrunched together. "like what?" heeseung frowned back.
"like you recognized her."
he shrugged, "you talk about her a lot. and i've seen pics."
jena paused, squinting at him, "don't."
he was taken aback, "don't what?"
she pointed a finger at him, threating him. "don't mess with her. she's my best friend and she is off-limits. she's immune to your bullshit."
"why are you acting like i'm some kind of menace?"
"you are," she deadpanned. he lifted his hands in surrender, "i'm not gonna do anything."
"promise?"
he nodded, "promise."
jena narrowed her eyes even more. "you know how you get when someone cute comes over."
"i don't 'get' any type of way," he said, rolling his eyes. "i'm not a dog."
"yes, you are, heeseung," she snapped. "and yn is adorable, so stay. away."
heeseung's jaw tightened a little — barely noticable, but enough for jena to crack. her eyes widened, "oh my god. you think she's cute, don't you?"
he raised two hands in defense, "i didn't say that."
"you didn't have to."
heeseung sighed deeply, rubbing his face. "look, it's just..." his sentence dragged as he looked at jena.
"one night," jena answered. he inhaled sharply before continuing, "exactly! one night. i'll be normal. i'n not gonna tease her or whatever."
jena narrowed her eyes one last time, like she was scanning for the lies. "good, i'm trusting you," she said. he nodded, but as she walked away, he finally let his thoughts wander. to the girl in jena's photos, the one who apparently was going to be here tomorrow.
and for the first time in a while, he felt a tiny spark of curiosity. nothing dangerous. just enough to make him wonder :
"what's she like in person?"
the evening came faster than expected, but you were ready nonetheless.
your backpack felt way too heavy for a simple sleepover — stuffed with snacks, pajamas, and the blanket you refused to share.
by the time you reached jena’s front door, the sun was already starting to dip, painting the house warm and soft. you knocked once, and before you could lift your hand again, the door swung open.
“finally,” jena said, grabbing your wrist and tugging you inside. “i’ve been waiting forever. i already set up the living room, snacks, blankets, everything.”
“you act like we’re preparing for war,” you laughed, kicking your shoes off.
“a sleepover is war,” she argued. “against boredom.”
you rolled your eyes, already feeling that warm comfort settle in your chest. you loved being there — the smell of laundry softener lingering in the hallway, the messy pile of shoes, the faint hum of the fridge.
you set your bag down just as a soft door clicked open deeper inside the hallway, followed by slow, heavy footsteps.
you turned, and whatever you were planning to say disappeared.
heeseung stepped out of his room like he hadn’t fully decided to be awake yet. his hair was sticking up in every direction, shirt too big, and his sweatpants hung low enough to make your breath catch for a second. he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, blinking himself into focus.
he blinked at you once, then twice.
and suddenly, he was wide awake.
he stared. not in surprise, more like he was trying to understand why someone like you was standing in his house looking the way you did. his eyes trailed over you slowly, like he forgot to hide it.
you stood perfectly still.
jena muttered something like, “oh, come on,” under her breath.
heeseung pushed off the doorframe, straightening slightly. the sleepiness faded, replaced by something sharper. he walked closer, his steps unhurried, gaze never leaving yours.
“you must be yn,” he said quietly, voice rough with sleep. “i’ve heard a lot about you.”
your pulse jumped.
you nodded, hoping your face wasn’t betraying you. “yeah... that’s me.”
he smiled. it was small, lopsided, and he looked too confident for someone who clearly woke up three minutes ago. “do you know my sister never shuts up about you?” he asked, tilting his head a little.
jena slapped his arm so fast it echoed, “heeseung. don’t start.”
“i’m not starting anything. i’m just saying hi,” he protested, though he didn’t take his eyes off you. not even once.
jena shot him a glare sharp enough to cut glass. “don’t mess with her,” she said firmly. “i mean it.”
you were definitely blushing. you could feel it spreading across your cheeks, your ears, your neck. and of course, heeseung noticed.
heeseung lifted both hands in surrender, “i won’t,” he promised, even though the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips said otherwise.
“i’ll be good.”
jena grabbed your wrist again and pulled you toward the living room, muttering complaints the entire way.
the rest of the sleepover settled into that easy rhythm — snacks everywhere, a movie paused at the first minute because neither you nor jena could agree on what to watch, and the warm atmosphere of the house.
you were in the kitchen, pouring drinks, when you heard the slow footsteps approaching. you didn't need to turn to know who it was.
his presence felt different, like the air shifted whenever he walked in.
you kept your attention on the cups, pretending not to notice him leaning against the counter behind you. at least not until he moved.
the touch was small, barely anything, but enough to make you freeze. he brushed behind you as he reached for the fridge, his hand grazing the small of your back, feather-light. maybe accidental, maybe not.
his voice came right after, "excuse me."
you swallowed, "you could've gotten to the fridge without passing me."
"yeah," he said, opening the fridge door, the cold light spilling across his face. "but i wanted to get past you, so..."
you shot him a look and he just smiled. you stepped aside quickly, hoping he didn't notice the warmth creeping up your neck (he definitely noticed).
a few minutes later, something similar happened again.
this time, you were reaching for a bowl on the kitchen shelf, stretching on your toes. you almost got it. your fingertips brushed the rim of the bowl, but you lost your focus when a hand rested lightly on your hip.
not pulling, not holding. just settling there.
"careful," he murmured behind you.
before you could turn around, his other hand reached over your shoulder, long fingers effortlessly plucking the bowl from the shelf you were struggling with.
the closeness made your breath hitch — his chest brushing your back, his chin almost dipping toward your neck. he handed you the bowl, eyes innocent but mouth curved into that stupid, slow smirk.
"you look like you needed help," he said softly. you swallowed, "thanks."
"anything for you," he smiled, letting his hand slide away from your hip much slower than necessary.
your heart was doing somersaults, and he looked far too pleased with himself. you walked back toward the living room, trying to act unaffected. but from behind you, you heard him chuckle once under his breath. the kind that said he knew exactly what he was doing to you.
the movie had finally started. well, it played in the background while you and jena kept pausing it every five minutes. she eventually got up with a stretch. "i'm gonna shower real quick," she announced. "don't eat all the snacks without me."
"no promises," you joked.
she rolled her eyes and tapped your forehead before dissapearing down the hall.
once again, you heard those quiet footsteps somewhere behind the couch, that same lazy pace he always walked with, like nothing ever rushed. then, he appeared, towering over you.
"this seat taken?" he asked, pretending innocence terribly.
you squinted your eyes at him, "you have your own room."
before you could argue more, he sat down. close. closer than anyone needed to be on a whole empty couch.
heeseung leaned back, stretching an arm across the backrest behind you. he wasn't touching, but it was close enough that you could feel a tingle.
"yeah," he replied, tilting his head, "but i like it better here."
your breath caught. his eyes flicked down, catching your reaction before you could hide it. his mouth twitched like he had to stop himself from smiling too wide.
you turned your attention to the movie, trying to act unbothered, but heeseung didn't make that easy.
every few seconds, he shifted, just a little, though. just enough for his knee to bump yours, for his fingers to brush your arm whenever he reached for popcorn, for his thigh to press against yours like it belonged.
and every time you reacted, even the smallest ones, he noticed.
you felt his gaze, heavy and amused, watching you more than the screen.
finally, he leaned in a little closer, voice barely above a whisper. "you're easy to read, you know," he teased. "no, i'm not," you stated, eyes still on the screen
he let out a soft, warm laugh, "then stop looking so cute every time i move."
you froze. he didn't.
he just kept watching you, chin propped on his hand, like you were more entertaining than the movie playing in the background.
the bathroom door finally opened, steam drifting into the hall. jena stepped out, towel around her neck, and immediately narrowed her eyes when she saw him. "heeseung. what are you doing here?"
he shrugged, "sitting," he said smoothly.
she gave a tight smile, "on the couch. next to my friend," she shot a glare towards her brother. "i just wanna join," he replied, completely unfazed.
jena stared at him for a long, suspicious moment, then sighed. "fine, whatever. but stop bothering her."
"i'm not," he said, though the smirk on his lips said the opposite.
jena dropped onto the other side of you, grabbing a blanket and draping it over your legs.
you truly offered your best to focus on the screen again. but heeseung, he shifted closer once more, just enough for his knee to press into yours again. and when he felt you tense for half a second, he didn't comment. he just smiled to himself like he'd found a new favorite way to entertain himself.
the night crept in quietly, and jena didn't make it past the second movie. she barely lasted then minutes before her head dropped onto your shoulder.
"i'm... awake," she mumbled, already asleep.
you and heeseung exhanged a look, him amused and you stifling a laugh. eventually, you nudged her up and helped her to her room. she collapsed drmatically onto the bed, mumbling incoherent threats about snoring.
you tucked the blanket around her and finally stepped back, exhaling quietly.
heeseung didn't join you. he disappeared somewhere down the hall as soon as you closed jena's door. and you told yourself you were relieved by that.
you needed distance. your heart needed distance.
but lying there next to jena, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, house too warm, the blankets too heavy, your brain refusing to shut up — sleep didn't come.
after minutes of tossing around, you sat up carefully, not trying to wake her. you slipped out of the room, padding toward the kitchen for milk while keeping your steps light.
but when you turned the corner, he was already there.
heeseung leaned against the counter beside the sink, lit only by the small under-cabinet light that cast a warm, gold glow across his face. his hair was slightly messy again, his hoodie handing loose on his frame.
he looked up the second you appeared, eyes catching yours like he'd been waiting without admitting it.
for a moment, neither of you spoke.
"i didn't know you were still awake," you started the conversation.
"couldn't sleep," he murmured.
you nodded and glanced toward the fridge, trying to act normal. "me too."
he nodded once, slow, like he understood exactly why you couldn't.
you walked toward the fridge, your fingers brushing the island lightly to avoid making noise. the quiet made everything feel sharper — your breathing, the distance between you, the weight of his gaze you could feel even as you looked away.
the fridge whirred softly as you opened it, cool light spilling out onto the dimly lit area.
when you grabbed a juice box and closed it, he was still looking at you. not teasing, not smirking, just watching.
you cleared your throat, gripping the box a little too lightly. "i'm just gonna— go back after this."
he tilted his head, voice dropping to a whisper that wrapped around you like a warm breath.
"you look cute when you're tired."
your heart stuttered. your fingers tightened around the small box. you looked away instantly, maybe a bit too fast, as heat crept up your neck. "don't say stuff like that."
his lips curved into a knowing smirk, "why not?"
and gosh, you needed a second to breathe. so you stepped past him, your heart thudding loud in your chest, the juice box cold in your hand as you walked away.
he moved, just a slow push off the counter, hands in his hoodie pockets, steps soft on the floor as he followed you out of the kitchen. "going back already?" he asked quietly.
you stopped in your tracks, not daring to turn around. "i said i would, didn't i?"
the house felt even quieter out here. the only light came from the kitchen, warm and low, spilling just enough to outline his figure as he stepped closer.
he moved, now in front of you, yet you still didn't look at him.
"you didn't have to run away," he said.
you breathed in too sharply, "i wasn't running."
"right, you were just walking really fast for someone who wasn't."
his voice dipped into something gentle. the kind of teasing that didn't poke, just brushed softly over your nerves, warm enough to make you feel it everywhere.
you finally glanced up at him.
big mistake.
he was looking down at you with that same quiet focus from the kitchen. he wasn't smirking, wasn't smiling, but studying you like you were something he wasn't expecting to be this drawn to.
he stepped a little closer, still slow, still giving you room to move away if you wanted. but you didn't.
his gaze slipped down to your lips for half a second before lifting again.
"come here," he whispered.
you didn't move, but your body leaned in the tiniest bit, like gravity had opinions of its own. and maybe that was all he needed.
because his hand lifted slowly, fingers burshing lightly along your cheek before drifting to your hair. he hesitated for a breath, giving you a chance to pull away.
but you didn't, so he kept going.
his fingers slid a strand of hair from your face and tucked it gently behind your ear, his touch barely-there, warm anough to melt something in your chest.
you froze completely.
and that was when his mouth curved — soft first, then sharper, settling into a full, knowing smirk. "there it is."
"what?" you breathed, barely able to get the word out.
his eyes softened, but the smirk stayed. "that little reaction you keep trying to hide."
you wanted to say something back, something smart and confident, but nothing came out. your throat was too tight, your heartbeat too loud, your skin tingling where his fingers had been.
he stepped back half a step, giving you space again, hands sliding back into his pockets as if he hadn't just short-circuited you on purpose. "you should get some sleep."
and then, like he hadn't just ruined your entire nervous system, he walked away, leaving you alone and speechless in the dark hallway.
you barely got any sleep that night. when you entered the room and hopped back on the bed, you couldn't bring yourself to feel comfortable or cozy. you finished your juice in five minutes, staring blank into the wall, thoughts filling your head.
"what the fuck just happened?" you whispered to yourself.
when morning came, you sat up on the bed.
the room was cold, the curtains were thin enough for the sunlight to seep through in soft stripes. jena was still curled up beside you, snoring a little. you blinked slowly, still half-asleep, and the first thing in your mind wasn't the brightness or the aching stretch in your back.
it was heeseung.
the kitchen last night, his voice low, his fingers brushing your hair, and the way he looked at you like he already knew you better than he should.
your heart did that annoying little kick again.
you slipped out of bed carefully, tiptoeing so you wouldn't wake jena, smoothing down your shirt as you left the room. you walked down the hallway, rubbing your eyes.
as soon as you stepped into the living room, you heard a faint clatter of something metal, the sound of a pan being moved, the fridge opening and closing.
of course he was awake.
you took a step into the kitchen and there he was, standing at the stove with his back to you. his hair was still messy from just waking up, sleeves pushed up in a way that was unfair for so early in the day. the morning light hit him in patches, outlining his shoulders, his jaw, the slope of his neck.
he glanced over his shoulder the second he sensed movement.
"good morning," he greeted.
you tensed for a beat, "morning."
he smiled, slow and small, the kind that makes your stomach flip because it means he's really looking at you. "jena's still asleep?"
you frowned, "you're really asking that?"
he let out a tiny laugh under his breath and turned back to the stove, flipping something in the pan with a practiced ease.
and then, he looked over at you again. he observed you — the way you rubbed your arm because you were cold, the way you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, the way your hair was tousled.
you felt your face warm instantly and tried to pretend you were just looking around the kitchen, anywhere but at him, but he didn't stop. he didn't even pretend to.
he leaned one elbow on the counter, still holding the spatula loosely in his hand.
"why are you looking at me like that?" you whispered, unable to keep the shyness out of your voice.
"just checking if your awake."
and he didn't say another word. he just kept watching you every now and then like you were the most interesting part of the morning.
suddenly, like a miracle, jena entered the kitchen with her hair sticking out in every direction, squinting like the lights offeneded her. "morning," she mumbled.
you let out a tiny breath of relief, like her presence grounded you a bit. but heeseung? his attention was still on you, but it just shifted in a slower, more deliberate way now that jena was here.
"you're up early," she said to him suspiciously as she grabbed a cup of water.
he raised his eyebrows, "i couldn't sleep."
your eyes flicked to him. liar. he slept fine. you knew that because you could hear his loud snoring through half the night. he caught your reaction, the tiny twitch at the corner of your mouth, and his lips curved upward just barely.
he slid a pancake onto a plate, turned off the stove, and without missing a beat, he handed the plate directly to you.
not to his sister. not on the table.
you.
"eat before it gets cold."
jena blinked between the two of you like she walked in on something, then frowned, "why are you guys being weird?"
you almost choked on air. "we're not," you insisted a little too quickly.
you sat and tried to focus on your food, ignoring the way heeseung sat across from you, elbows resting casually on the table — and also how his eyes kept lifting every few seconds to look at your expressions, your movements, your everything.
and then, he started. not the obvious flirting from last night, but something softer.
"did you sleep okay?" he asked you, tone light enough that jena wouldn't notice anything. you nodded slowly, "yeah."
"you always wake up this early?" his voice dipped just a fraction, gentle and curious like he was storing the information. you sighed before answering, "sometimes..."
"hm," he leaned back slightly, looking at you in that innocent way he only used when someone else was in the room —totally different from the way he looked at you earlier.
and then, a final, subtle question slipped out. "what do you usually eat for breakfast?" it was simple, guiltfree even. but his eyes told a different story, almost like he wanted to know more, wanted to know you, piece by piece.
you opened your mouth to answer, but the sound of jena clearing her throat cut between you.
"seriously. what the fuck is happening right now?"
you tensed, but heeseung just took another bite of his food like what jena had just asked was nothing. "we're literally just talking," he answered.
jena's suspicion didn't go away. if anything, it sharpened as she chewed on her food, eyes bouncing between the two of you like she was trying to solve some puzzle.
but then, her phone buzzed. she glanced at the screen, groaned, and stood up from the table.
"ugh, mom's calling. i'll be right back."
you nodded while the man in front of you just hummed. you didn't realize how tense you were until jena walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, her voice fading away.
you felt it immediately. the shift, the awareness, the silence that wasn't really silent.
heeseung let out a slow breath like he'd been waiting for that exact moment. his eyes lifted to you, "she's always so dramatic," he complained.
you tried to laugh, but it came out soft and nervous. "she's not dramatic."
he raised a brow, "really? because she acts like i'm a criminal for talking to you," he rolled his eyes. you fiddled with your fork, "maybe because you're a flirt."
he smiled teasingly. "only when i want to be."
you didn't breathe for a second. he let the words sit there, let you process them, let the warmth rise in your cheeks again.
you looked down at your plate, not able to hold his gaze any longer, but he wasn't having it. not when he had you cornered in the sweetest, quietest way possible.
his foot nudged yours under the table. you glanced at him, eyes wide, and he smiled. it was genuine.
"you're cute when you're all flustered like this."
your fingers tightened around your fork, "stop—"
"why?" he cut you off, tilting his head, eyes warm. "you don't like it?"
you opened your mouth to respond — you didn't even know what you were about to say — but he leaned forward a little, resting his chin on his hand, staring at you like you were the only thing in the room worth paying attention to.
"i'm just being honest. you don't want honesty?" he added.
your heart pounded, and right when the moment grew warm enough to melt you, jena's footsteps echoed toward the kitchen.
heeseung didn't look away. you did.
he just leaned back casually, picking up his fork like nothing happened at all.
but when jena reentered the kitchen, rambling about their mom, he flashed you the tiniest smile. like the two of you were sharing a secret she almost walked in on.
the rest of the day moved in a blur, and suddenly, it was already afternoon.
you and jena were stuffing blankets back into her closet, laughing at how the room somehow looked messier after cleaning. she talked nonstop — about school, about next weekend, about a new café she wanted to try.
you nodded along, but the whole time, you felt him.
heeseung didn’t make himself obvious. he never did. he just appeared in the edges of things, like walking down the hallway, opening the fridge, or passing by the doorway. he was just always in your line of vision for just long enough to make your heart hitch.
by the time you had your bag zipped and slung over your shoulder, the sun was dipping, warm and golden through the windows. “come here again next week! i promise i’ll stay up for the movie marathon next time,” she beamed in excitement.
you barely got the chance to respond because the moment she stepped back, you sensed someone else behind you. you turned, and there he was, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. jena didn’t even notice him for she was rummaging for her jacket.
heeseung’s eyes flicked down to your bag, then back up to you. “you’re heading out already?” he asked, voice low in a way that felt like it filled the entire hallway.
you gulped, “yeah. um… i’ve got an early morning tomorrow.”
and just for a mere second, you saw a tiny, little pout show up on his lips. “shame,” he said softly, “thought you’d stick around a little longer.”
your cheeks warmed immediately. jena cut in while putting on her jacket. “don’t bother her, hee. she has a life,” she muttered. heeseung didn’t look away from you when he replied, “i’m not bothering her. right, yn?”
you didn’t know what to say.
jena sighed dramatically and pulled open the front door. “okay, let’s go before he starts being weird.”
you stepped into your shoes, and jena headed down the steps first while talking about some assignment you both had to finish.
and then you felt it. he’d followed you to the doorway.
“hey,” he said quietly. you turned, heart tight. he stood much closer now. close enough that you could see the faint sleep-crease still pressed into his cheek.
“thanks for… hanging around the house,” he said, scratching lightly behind his ear. “it was… nice.”
it wasn’t only what he said. it was also how he said it — soft, careful, and honest in a way that made your stomach twist.
you nodded once. “yeah. it was,” you gave him a smile. he huffed a little laugh, eyes dropping to the floor then lifting back to you. “maybe next time i’ll actually see you more.”
before you could even process that, jena called from the bottom of the steps. “yn! let’s go!”
you turned to leave, but heeseung moved one step closer, lowering his voice just for you.
“bye, yn.”
you swallowed, whispering, “bye, heeseung,” your voice barely audible, but enough for him to smile like he heard it perfectly.
you followed jena down the stairs, trying to keep your breathing normal. but halfway down, you glanced back. he was still standing in the doorway, one hand in his pocket, the other resting against the frame, watching only you.
and his eyes stayed on you, all the way until you turned the corner.
you started coming to the lee house more often after that weekend. partly because jena kept dragging you over for study sessions and movie nights, but also because something about that house pulles you in.
every time you stepped onto the porch, your stomach did that little flip, the one you pretend not to acknowledge. and somehow, every single time you arrived, heeseung was already there, present in a way that felt too intentional to be a coincidence.
the first afternoon you showed up again, jena shouted from the kitchen, "oh, hey! you're early," while rummaging for snacks. you slipped off your shoes quietly, smoothing your hair, trying to act normal.
and then the one and only, heeseung, appeared.
he didn't say anything at first. he just leaned against his doorframe with that stupid half-amused expression he always wore around you now, arms crossed like he'd been expecting this exact moment.
"back again?" he asked, teasing curling around every syllable.
you blinked, trying to your steady your breathing, "jena invited me."
"mm," he hummed, slow like he didn't believe that was the whole reason. then, he eyed you before adding, "you nervous?"
you froze for half a second — just long enough for him to catch it. his smile deepened, lazy and knowing.
"don't worry. i'll be good." he very much would not be.
the next visit wasn't much different.
you walked in with jena, laughing about something trivial. jena went to her room to grab something when you heard thumps coming your way. heeseung appeared again, hair damp form a shower, tank top hugging his figure.
"oh," he said, eyes dragging over you for a beat too long. "hey, pretty."
your eyes widened slightly, "huh?"
he shrugged like it was nothing, wiping at his wet hair, "i said, hey, pretty."
your face went warm immediately, and saw it. of course he saw it, his grin grew full of satisfaction, like he said it just to watch you unravel. this time though, you didn't fully shy away. you nudged him slightly as you passed, muttering, "you look like you just woke up."
his reaction was instant. his eyebrows lifted, smile spreaded, and a spark lit behind his eyes. "oh? she teases back now, huh?"
the teasing only got worse — or better. it depends.
the next time you came over, jena ran upstairs to grab something she forgot, leaving you in the living room alone. you were scrolling on your phone when you felt a presence behind you.
"you really don't get tired of coming here, do you?"
you didn't flinch this time. you didn't step back. you just turned your head slightly, meeting his eyes over your shoulder. "maybe i like the company," you said, soft and careful, but bold enough to make his eyebrows rise.
"jena's company?" he took a step closer.
you hummed, pretending to think, then let your eyes drop to the exposed skin at his collarbone before looking back up.
"hm... sometimes."
his breath caught. actually caught. and the smile he gave you wasn't the usual lazy smirk. it was something darker, warmer. something that showed how he hadn't expected you to push back like that.
"careful," he leaned in closer, mouth close to your ear now. "you're starting to sound like you're flirting, pretty."
you tilted your head, letting your hair fall to one side — and god, the way he looked at your neck made heat crawl up your spine. "maybe i am," you whispered back.
he inhaled slow, like he had to steady himself, and you felt his fingers lightly graze your shoulder.
"don't start something you can't finish."
and for some reason, you knew he wanted you to start it.
later that day, jena forced you and heeseung into the living room to pick a movie. she sat on the floor, legs spread out, scrolling through titles. you and heeseung ended up on the couch behind her. no, not touching, but the two of you were close enough that you could feel the heat of him.
he leaned back, spreading his arm over the back of the couch. "you're being quiet," he said softly, eyes lowering to your lips for a split second.
you didn't look back at him. "maybe i behave when you're around."
he scoffed out a laugh, leaning forward. "pretty, you behave the least when i'm around."
you nudged his thigh with you knee without even thinking, just a little, just enough for him to feel it. he froze, then exhaled a quiet curse under his breath. "fuck, you're gonna kill me."
the teasing should've stopped there, but it didn't. because for the first time since all of this started, you didn't want it to stop even the tiniest bit.
this time, jena had gone to her room again, said she was gonna go look for her charger, leaving you and heeseung alone in the living room with the abandoned movie credits on the screen.
heeseung sat back on the couch, pretending to scroll on his phone, but he wasn't truly paying attention. he kept glancing up at you, admiring you.
you reached to pick up a blanket jena had handed you earlier. you shifted from your position and the sight you created nearly made heeseung lose his mind.
your hair fell over your shoulder, and your shirt slipped just a little off the shoulder. and his eyes dragged up your arm, your neck, your profile, slowly like he was afraid to blink and miss something.
"so, you always stare that much or is it just for me?" you asked.
his phone stopped moving completely. he blinked once, "i wasn't—"
you cut him off. "it's fine," you mumbled, eyes on the tv instead of him. "you're not very subtle."
he inhaled sharply, all the air suddenly punched out of his lungs. "what are you doing?" his voice lowered.
you turned your head just slightly, meeting his eyes for only a second before looking away again. "nothing," you chuckled. "just noticing things."
his smile cracked. "you're really doing this to me?" he whispered.
you hummed and stretched your leg, the movement making your knee slide against his again. "why? is it working?" your eyes met his this time.
he set his phone down without breaking eye contact. you felt the air shift — warm. charged, pulled tight between you. "you have no idea, pretty," he breathed.
you bit back a smile, leaning back like you were perfectly calm depsite the hear between you.
and then you teased him one final time. slowly and knowingly, you reached out and brushed a crumb off his shirt with your fingers, letting them stay just a second too long on his chest before pulling back. "there, thought i'd help."
he actually had to close his eyes for a moment, composing himself. he took a slow breath, frocing it out through his nose. "you know, if you keep doing stuff like that... i'm not gonna able to play nice anymore."
you cocked an eyebrow, "maybe i don't want you to."
his jaw clenched. and right when he was about to say something back—
"hey! i found it!" you heard jena yell from a distance.
heeseung exhaled, leaning back and running a hand over his face. he looked at you like you were about to ruin his entire life.
but deep inside, he loved every second of it.
the week after, you and jena planned yet another sleepover. where? the lee house, of course.
that evening, the sun was already setting when you walked up the familiar path to the house, your tote bag bouncing against your hip. you didn't think twice as you punched in the gate code jena gave you a few weeks ago.
you didn't text to confirm, didn't worry about timing. you had come over dozens of times lately and jena always swung the door open with some chaotic greeting. and today felt no different.
but when you stepped inside, the house was quiet. "jena?" you called out softly.
no answer.
you stepped further in, and a voice sounded from the hallway. "she's not home."
heeseung stood there, leaning against the wall with a lazy tilt plastered on his face. his eyes were already fixed on you as if you were the exact thing he wanted to see.
"extended dance practice," he pushed off the railing and walked down the last step, "she texted me."
you frowned, "she didn't text me."
"yeah," he said, "figured."
there was a pause before he continued, "you can wait here if you want—" he cut himself off. then, almost too casually, he said, "actually... i needed help with something."
you raised a brow, "with what?"
"come with me, pretty," he replied without answering, already heading toward his room. you hesitated for a second, but you followed anyway.
the air grew warmer the closer you got to his room. he pushed the door open and stepped inside, leaving it half-open behind him for you. his room smelled like him — clean laundry, faint cologne, something warm and boyish that settled too easily in your chest. the lighting was soft, the curtains half-drawn, the sunset bleeding inside.
he motioned toward his desk. "was trying to fix something with my speaker, but it keeps glitching. maybe you're good luck," he said.
you stared at him, squinting your eyes. "you should just call a technician, 'cause i cannot do this."
he turned to you, leaning one hand on the dask. "i don't want a technician, though," he said, gaze fixed on you. you looked at him, confused.
he continued, "i want you."
your breath caught. your fingers actually curled against your sides, grounding yourself.
you stepped closer intentionally and he noticed instantly. then, the room felt too warm, too small. "so what's really wrong with the speaker?" you questioned, trying to focus on the object instead of the way he was watching you.
he stepped closer and whispered, "nothing."
he let the silence settle for a beat, then leaned in just a little more.
"you know you're driving me crazy, right, pretty?"
your chest rose with a small breath you couldn't swallow and your heart thudded so loud you swore he could've heard it. "i know," you answered.
the room went still.
heeseung's eyes dropped to your lips and stayed there like he'd been holding himself back for god knows how long. he leaned in a fraction, enough for you to feel the warmth of him and make your breath stutter.
the air between you felt thin and fragile. his fingers twitched at his side, fighting every instinct telling him to close the distance.
you whispered, barely audible, "heeseung..."
he leaned in again, slowly and carefully, wanting to savor the moment before he gave in, his nose brushed yours, just the lightest nudge. you felt his hand lift, hesitating in the air like he was deciding whether to cup your jaw or hold your waist.
but then, a sharp, mettalic clang echoed from outside.
the gates.
heeseung froze, and you too.
the moment snapped like overstretched rubber. "shit," he breathed, stepping back a tiny inch.
your hands had subconsciously curled into his shirt. you didn't realize until he gently eased them off with a soft, shaky laugh — the kind of laugh someone lets out when they're both frustrated and trying not to look too affected.
"she got here faster than i expected," he dragged a hand through his hair.
"i— we should—" you stammered, heat still blooming across your neck.
"yeah," he gulped. "yeah, we should go."
but neither of you moved. not immediately. the room was still thick with what almost happened. he finally forced himself to step away, grabbing a hoodie off his chair and tossing it on like it would somehow conceal the fact he looked breathless.
"act normal," he said, voice low.
"normal," you repeated, "right."
he gave you a glance. he held it a beat too long, biting down a smile he absolutely didn't want you to see.
then, he nodded toward the door, "come on."
you followed him, both of you silently trying to erase the tension from your bodies, smoothing your expressions, straightening your clothes. but every step felt charged, like you could still feel the ghost of ihs breath brushing your lips.
as you stepped outside onto the porch, the gates rattled again.
heeseung nudged your shoulder subtly, a tiny push to remind you to keep it together.
you forced a smile just as jena spotted you. "oh, yn! you're here already."
"yeah. thought practice would end as usual," you said, voice maybe too normal.
"nope," jena laughed. "we got extended today. heeseung told you, right?" she nodded. you opened your mouth, but before you could answer, heeseung spoke, "yeah, she just got here. i told her like— two minutes ago."
you glanced at him. he didn't look at you. but his hand brushed yours for half a second — a touch so subtle that jena didn't notice, but enough to send your heart spiraling.
soon, the three of you sat in the living room like always, but everything felt different. you could feel his gaze the entire time and made your skin prickle.
whenever jena spoke, you nodded along, but every few seconds, you caught heeseung watching you from across the couch. his knee bounced slightly, his thumb dragging slow circled on his own palm.
but slowly and surely, you could feel his self control lessen.
that midnight, the house was silent. again, you laid awake in jena's room for almost an hour, eyes wide open in the dark, replaying the moment over and over again — the way he looked at you, the way you leaned in without thinking, the way your lips hovered so close, your breath mingled with his.
it was impossible to sleep after that.
so you slipped out of bed, careful not to wake jena, and tip-toed outside toward the kitchen hoping a glass of water would calm your heartbeat.
yet the moment you stepped inside, you saw him leaning against the counter, hair messy like he ran his hands through it. he looked up at the sound of your footsteps, and the faintest smile pulled at the corner of his mouth.
none of you dared to speak first. there was just a thick, charged silence.
his gaze followed you as you walked to the sink, as you reached for a glass, as you tried not to shake.
finally, he broke the silence, "couldn't sleep again?"
you didn't look at him, "not really."
there was a pause, a long one, and then he hummed like he already knew why. you could feel his eyes, your fingers tightening around the glass.
"you keep thinking about it?"
you gulped and placed your glass down., "thinking about what?"
his quiet laugh came from right behind you. "don't do that, pretty. you know exactly what i'm talking about."
you turned to face him, heart doing that stupid jump it always did around him. he was closer than you thought. his chest almost brushed yours.
"it was nothing," you said, even though the both of you knew it was the biggest like you had ever told.
he tilted his head, seeing straight through the act. "you sure?" he asked. he stepped in the tiniest bit, but it pulled the air right out of your lungs. "cause it didn't feel like nothing."
you were nervous, crazy nervous. and the first thing you could let out your mouth was, "you leaned in first."
that made his smirk change, "but you did too. so we both wanted it."
you didn't deny it, you couldn't.
he moved then, carefully like he didn't want to spook you. his hands lifted, brushing your hip before landing on the counter behind you.
"i'd make you tell me to stop," he murmured, eyes on your lips.
he added, "but i don't think you want me to, pretty."
your heartbeat felt loud in the quiet kitchen. you didn't push him away, didn't say stop. and he understood.
he dipped his head slowly, giving you every second to move or pull back, but you didn't. his nose brushed yours and you felt his smile when you inhaled sharply.
impatient, you spent no time closing the gap between you two. his lips finally connected with yours. he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you flush into him. his lips danced with yours slowly, softly, passionately, and it made your mind spiral.
you pulled away to catch your breath, and he looked at you with a smile, a genuine one.
"i've wanted to do that since the moment i met you," he confessed.
you chuckled, "me too."
you leaned in, meeting your lips with his again. you grasped his shoulders, moaning into the kiss. hearing the sound you made, heeseung groaned and deepened the kiss. it soon became hotter and rougher, full of need.
his tongue traced your bottom lip, asking for access. without thinking twice, you opened your mouth just the slightest bit, and he spent no time shoving his tongue inside your mouth. the kiss became messier, your spit and his mixing.
his palms moved to the back of your thigh. you took in the signal, jumping into his arms. heeseung picked you up like you weighed nothing.
eventually, his legs moved without letting go. he brought the two of you to his room, shutting the door once inside. he placed you on the bed gently, breaking the kiss.
his lips moved to your jaw, then your neck. he planted soft kisses on them, then sucked on the skin and you hissed at the feeling.
he looked up at you, eyes pleading. his hands were on the rim of your tshirt, "may i?" he asked for permission. you couldn't form words, too caught up in the moment. you nodded and he took your tshirt off gently, throwing them carelessly.
and you swore you saw his eyes light up when he figured you didn't wear anything underneath it.
easy access.
he licked his lips before sticking his tongue out and flicked it on one of your buds. you squirmed, "fuck, heeseung—" you cut yourself off with a gasp when he sucked on it.
he let go of it with a pop and he chuckled to himself. "you like that, pretty?" he asked. but before you could even respond, he moved to the other, suckling on it. you moaned at the feeling of his warm mouth around your nipple.
"such perfect tits, baby," he praised as he landed pecks all over your breasts. he fondled them and nibbled on your soft skin, groaning, "could play with them all night."
you felt his calloused fingers run over the rim of your pajama shorts. he slipped his hand inside. and when he left a feather-light touch on your panties, your breath got caught in your throat.
"but your pussy's so wet, it's practically begging for me."
you visibly shivered at his words. "heeseung— please," you cried. his smirk widened, "please what baby? i need you to be specific," he mumbled as he peppered kisses on your stomach. you groaned, acknowledging the fact that he was teasing you.
"please. touch me."
he planted one last kiss right above the waistband of your shorts, "good girl."
he slid them off you, leaving you in your underwear. he spread your legs apart, enough for him to slide his figure between them. "you're soaking through, pretty."
he circled his thumb around your the wet patch, making you throb more underneath his touch. soon after what felt like hours to you, he finally took your underwear off.
"your cunt's so fucking pretty," he complimented, eyes looking at it in awe. he was face to face with it, close enough that you could feel his hot breath fanning over it. without any hesitation, he licked one a long stripe. you arched your back, hand reaching to grip his hair. not pull, not push, just to get a hold.
"so sweet," he murmured, before enveloping your pussy with his mouth.
and god, were you on cloud nine.
you'd never felt a mouth so skilled, he made you see stars. his tongue was lapping you up so messily, his lips now covered in both your slick and his spit.
you tugged on his hair, making him let out a groan, and the sound only made you reel more. "feels so fucking good, seungie!" you whimpered at the feel of his mouth.
he grunted, pulling you closer by the thighs, but also burying his face more deeper. "can't get enough of this pussy, fuck—" his voice was mumbled as he continued to swallow your juices.
you bit your lip to quiet yourself when you remembered jena, your best friend, his sister, wasn't far away.
"don't hide your pretty moans, baby, please," he begged, looking up at you with his doe eyes. you moaned at the sight, satisfying him. as he continued his penetration on you, you quivered and shuddered.
it was rather difficult for heeseung as well. his cock was throbbing, only grazing the material of his sweatpants every now and then. craving pleasure, he started grinding into nothing — into the air. it was little, but he was aching and anything would help.
i mean, you were so good for him, all naked and sprawled on his bed. how could he resist?
soon enough, you could feel a familiar knot in your stomach. "shiitt— i'm so close," you said, legs starting to twitch in his hold.
you started to shake, pleasure now unbearable. but heeseung, he only made it worse (better).
he let go of one of your plush thighs, two fingers slamming inside you in one swift movement as he sucked on your clit.
your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you received immense pleasure. his fingers curled inside you, hitting a spot you didn't even know exist. everything he did — the feel of his warm mouth engulfing your cunt, his digits shoving in and out, his other hand holding you open for him — it was too much.
but at the same time, it was too good.
your pulse quickened as you felt the need to release, "fuck—! i'm gonna cum— please let me cum," you cried, hips now grinding against his face.
"mmh, shit— cum on my face, baby. please, i need it—"
you cut him off with the most pornographic moan he'd ever heard. you arched your back and pulled his hair as you climaxed. your hips jerked whilst heeseung's hold on you tightened.
he lapped up all your juices, swallowing and not wasting a drop. "taste so good, pretty. best pussy ever," he smirked, standing back up, fingers leaving your cunt. he looked disheveled — his chin was glistening, eyes shining with need, hair messy.
you were too blissed out to respond to him. your breath was heavy, chest rising up and down from the extreme shockwaves you felt.
heeseung bent down to capture his lips with yours again, and you could taste yourself in his mouth.
you pulled away from his mouth, "i wanna make you feel good, too, seung," you mumbled, words unclear but he heard it all. he chuckled at your state. "you can do that next time, pretty, i wanna focus on you tonight."
you nodded at his words, making his smile widen. "do you have a condom, baby?" he asked, suddenly remembering. you stirred, "i'm on the pill," you reassured which made his eyes shine. he quickly straightened and took off his top, along with his other garments. you nearly drooled at the sight — his abs were toned, and his cock was thick, long, and flushed at the tip.
he caught you staring, "like what you see?" he laughed lightly. you blinked, pulling you out of your thoughts. you breathed, "i—i don't think it'll fit..." you bit your lip.
"i'll make it fit."
his firm voice made you gulp. he caressed your hip, "i want you to ride me, baby. can you do that?" he asked for consent.
you were unsure of yourself, but you imagined him under you, and you answered, "mhm."
without further ado, he sat beside you and pulled you to sit atop him. you lined him up against your entrance, still hesitant. heeseung noticed, "you okay, pretty?" he held onto your waist, massaging it. "'m a bit scared," you mumbled.
"you can do it, just take it slowly, mkay?" his voice was gentle. you nodded at his words.
you started sinking down on him. the stretch was intense, making you whimper. "mm, fuck—" you whispered as he split you open.
he hissed at the feeling of your hole enveloping him, even though it was barely halfway. you continued to take him in, his cock going deeper than you thought it'd be.
when he was finally buried to the hilt, you moaned along with him. you could feel him in your stomach, twitching. "so tight, pretty—fuck," he voice was strained.
you took a moment to breath before starting to grind slowly. and almost immediately, heeseung's grip on your waist tightened. your breath hitched at the depth of his cock. "eungh— so deep—!" you sped up your movements.
heeseung threw his head back onto the headboard, starting to pant. he then lifted his hands off your waist and grasped your tits. he launched forward and stimulated your breasts, kneading and suckling on them. you gasped and clenched around him, making him let go of your tits with a loud moan.
"do that again," he ordered.
and just like he told you, you tightened around him again, earning a groan from him, "good fucking girl." you bit your bottom lip at the look at him — messy and full of pleasure under you.
just how you imagined.
you started bouncing on him, hands on his chest to keep balance. heeseung clenched his teeth at the feeling of your tight cunt around his length. he started to buck upwards himself, searching for further pleasure.
his room began feeling hotter from the heat of both your bodies. you held onto his shoulders for support. "shit—" heeseung cut himself off with a gasp.
you swallowed a lump in your throat, thighs now aching. your movements slowed, "my legs hurt, seungie," you whined at the pain. heeseung pouted, making eye contact with you, "aw, is my pretty girl tired?" he questioned. you nodded and he continued, "let me do the work for you, then."
without letting go and sliding out of you, he flipped you over. you laid on your back now as he hovered above you, splitting your legs open.
he thrusted in and out of you in a slow pace at first, "feels better, baby?" he cocked an eyebrow. "so much better," you moaned, and heeseung took that as a sign that he could go faster.
he started to move quicker, making you whimper uncontrollably. "seungie— so big!" you said, making him smirk at the boost of confidence.
"i know, baby. i can see my cock right here," he placed a hand on your stomach. you looked down to see the outline of his cock right under your belly button, which made you dizzy.
he continued to pound himself into you, the angle resulting in him being deeper than before. you nearly shouted as his tip hit your crevix. you pulled him down by the back of his neck, and pressed a kiss against his lips.
he kissed you back, sliding his tongue inside your mouth with ease. this time, the kiss was filthier. the two of you let go, a string of saliva connecting your lips.
"ngh— faster, please," you moaned out, making heeseung raise an eyebrow. "you sure, baby?" he questioned in concern. "please," you whined desperately, glancing up at him with the most pleading eyes he's ever seen.
"fuck, you're gonna be the death of me."
he propped himself up and pulled you closer by your thighs. he held them open and started to drive himself into you relentlessly. you bit your lip to compress your sounds, but they ended up falling out anyway. "you make the prettiest sounds ever, baby," he whispered.
"heeseung—" you gasped, jerking under him. "feels too good!"
"yeah? such a good girl taking my big cock," he said. his head was thrown back and his abs tensed every time he pushed into you. he looked tousled, yet so attractive.
heeseung scrunched his eyebrows as he let out a groan, "'m close, pretty. you there with me?" he said, out of breath. you couldn't form words, "mhm," you mumbled.
the room was hot, the sounds of your skin slapping onto his covering it. "gonna cum, seungie—!" you ragged, fingers grasping onto the sheets beside you for dear life.
"shit, cum for me, pretty. cum all over my cock," his dirty words sent you over the edge. you arched your back and let out a loud moan as you came. heeseung continued sliding in and out of you, reaching his own orgasm.
"mm... fuck, i'm gonna cum— can i cum inside you, pretty? shit! pleasepleaseplease," he started whimpering, and you decided to play with him.
"you wanna shoot your load in me, seungie?" your voice was seductive, practically asking him for it. he nodded quickly as his legs started to shake, "yeah, fuck— wanna fill you up."
you didn't answer, and it only made him less patient. "shit—" he took a long breath, "ngh! please, baby, pleaaaaseee!" he bit his bottom lip.
"go ahead, baby," you allowed him.
when he felt you clench around his shaft, he lost it. he groaned, "thankyouthankyouthankyou— yn, fuuckkk!" as he shot his load inside you with one last thrust. you sighed when you felt his cock twitch and released its liquid, filling your insides. both your chests were heaving after the release.
he limped, let go of your thighs, and landed on top of you. your pulled him in and hugged him. "thank you, seungie," you said. he gave a nod and circled his arms around your waist, returning the hug.
after composing himself, heeseung propped himself up on his hands, body hovering yours. you looked at your body and whined, "so sticky."
he blinked, "oh— let me clean you up, pretty." he stood and walked over to a cabinet, grabbing a towel. he cleaned your body from sweat, wiped your cunt, and landed a kiss on your cheek. he put on his clothes and grabbed extra for you to use, putting them on you.
you'd never felt so much care from a man.
afterwards, he laid beside you, engulfing you in a hug. you were tucked against him, your head resting on his chest, his arm curved securely around your waist. his heartbeat was steady beneath your ear.
for a while, neither of you said anything.
his thumb traced absent, lazy circles along your arm. his breathing gradually evened out, deep and steady, and you matched it without realizing.
"hey," he murmured eventually, voice softer than you'd ever heard it. you shifted just enough to look up at him. his eyes were half-lidded, watching you like he was making sure you were real.
"are you okay?" he asked.
you nodded, the smallest smile tugging at your lips. "yeah, i am. are you?"
he let out a short breath that sounded like a laugh, but wasn't quite one. "yeah, just... didn't expect tonight to end like this," he said. you hummed, nestling closer to him, "me neither."
his arm tightened around you a little, protective without trying. "not in a bad way, though," he added quickly. "just thought i'd spend another night messing with you."
that made your chest ache.
you traced a slow line along his collarboone, not seductive, but thoughtful. "well, you weren't very good at pretending," you joked. he smiled at that, eyes dropping to your face, "yeah, neither were you."
another quiet stretch passed. he shifted slightly, propping himself up just enough to look at you properly. his expression changed.
"yn," the way he said your name made your breath get caught in your throat. "can i say something?" and you nodded, signalling him to go ahead.
he swallowed, thumb stilling on your arm like he was gathering courage. "i've liked you since the first time you walked into this house." he let out a quiet breath, "and yeah, i flirted, and teased, and pushed. but it wasn't just because it was fun."
your heart started pounding again, slower but deeper.
"i kept thinking i'd get over it," he continued. "that it'd pass. that you were just jena's best friend. off limits, like she said," his jaw tightened brifely, then softened. "but every time you came over, it got worse. the way you looked at me, the way you started teasing back. i couldn't stop thinking about you."
you felt heat behind your eyes, unexpected and overwhelming.
he brushed his forehead against yours. "i don't know what this would turn into. but i know i don't want to pretend anymore. i like you. a lot," he admitted quietly.
you lifted your head just enough to meet his eyes, your hand resting over his chest where his heart beat steady and sure.
"i've liked you too," you said softly. "i just didn't think you'd feel the same."
his smile was small but genuine, relief washing over his face like something finally unclenched. "yeah?"
you nodded lightly, "yeah."
he then pulled you back into him, tighter this time, like he was afraid you might slip away if he didn't hold on. you fit against him easily, naturally, like the teasing and tension had been leading here all along.
"guess we're in trouble," he mumbled into your hair.
you chuckled, closing your eyes. "maybe."
that night, you and heeseung fell asleep without meaning to.
sometime after the room went quiet and the adrenaline finally drained from your body, your eyes started feeling heavy. he murmured something half-asleep that you couldn't quite catch, and pressed a lazy kiss into your hair before drifting off too.
by the time the morning crept in through the curtains, the two of you were tangled together.
you smiled before you could stop yourself.
and then, the door creaked open.
"oh."
you froze. your eyes turned just in time to see jena standing in the doorway, still half-asleep, hair a mess, wearing one of her oversized hoodied. her gaze dropped from your face, to the arm around you, and to the very obvious way you were curled into her brother.
your body went cold. "jena—" you whispered, scrambling slightly, trying to sit up.
heeseung didn't let go. if anything, his arm tightened around your waist, anchoring you against him. he lifted his head lazily from the pillow, blinking once before looking at his sister.
"morning," he mumbled calmly.
you stared at him like he lost his mind. jena, on the other hand, corssed her arms and sighed, completely unimpressed. "i knew it, you two couldn't behave for one more night," she said flatly.
your face burned, "it's not—"
heeseung shifted beside you, chin resting on your shoulder now, voice low and reassuring. "relax, pretty. she's not surprised."
jena shot him a look, "don't act smug. i warned you."
then, her gaze softened slightly as it moved back to you. "i... wanted to see if you're okay," she gave a little smile. you nodded, "yeah. i um— i didn't expect—"
"me neither," she cut in, then huffed. "but honestly? i saw this coming from a mile away."
she stepped into the room, "just don't let him mess around with you, okay? he's insufferable."
before you could respond, heeseung spoke up, tone firm but calm. "i'm not playing, jen," he confessed. that got her attention. jena looked at him properly now, eyebrows lifting, "oh?"
he tightened his hold on you slightly, thumb brushing slow, grounding circled into your side. "i like yn. genuinely."
there was a beat of silence.
then, jena rolled her eyes, "gross." she turned toward the door, "whatever, i'm gonna go make coffee and pretend i didn't see any of this. don't be loud," and the door closed behind her.
you let out the breath you'd been holding, collapsing back against him. "i thought i was gonna pass out," you sighed. he laughed softly, the sound vibrating against your back, "you did great."
you turned in his arms to face him, eyes still wide. "you were way too calm about that," you rolled your eyes. he shrugged, smiling you in that soft, unguarded way he only used now. "why wouldn't i be?"
he brushed his thumb along you cheek. "can i ask you someting?" he murmured. "mhm," you hummed.
"can i do this properly now?" he asked. "like— actually call you mine? take you on dates and stuff, not playing around at my house."
your heart swelled, warmth blooming in your chest.
"yeah," you answered. "i want that."
his smile was immediate — bright and relieved. he leaned in and kissed you slowly, tender and unhurried, like you had all the time in the world. it wasn't heated or rushed. it was lips fitting together easily, a promise that anything else.
"i heard that!" jena shouted from the living room.
you both let go and burst into laughter, forehead dropping against his as he groaned dramatically. "she's never going to let us live this down," you said. he kissed your cheek, smile still wider than ever.
