Keni

Love Begins
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ellievsbear
Interview Vampire Daily
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izzy's playlists!
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@wonderlandhorror
193lbs. I just keep getting fatter and I'm completely lost. It seems like no matter what I do, unless I stick to, like, 500 calories, I gain weight. I can't be "healthy" and I just want to be able to look at myself without feeling absolute disgust. I've been doing so badly recently and every time I think about my appearance, I want to kill myself. I'm not worth being alive if I'm this much of a burden to everyone around me.
I hate my job so much, I want to quit but this COVID bullshit means no one wants to hire right now. I'm completely lost and ready to die.
Getting weighed at the doctor's is fun.
"You're 187"
"Bitch that's 4lbs of winter clothes"
And I binged for 2 days and am back to where I started. Fat ugly nasty fucking waste of air. I'm disgusting and not worth being alive.
Replacing food with liquid. Have to do it. Need to lose weight. I'm at 187, it's scary how close that is to 200.
And it fucking sucks that I can't get started. I just fucking eat constantly like a fatass
184.8 from 184.2
Probably water again, didn't eat as much as the other day but need to stop eating in general. I'll lose my nasty double chin and fat ass faster without food than I will with this "moderate eating" bullshit
Where are all the thinspo blogs that are still active in February 2020?
Reblog/like if you match 2 or more of the following and I'll follow you 🌸
- over 18
- pro recovery
- post thinspo
- post ed memes
- post weightloss tips
- have an ed
- want to make friends
Very active~🌸🍃💖✨
List of Reasons To Stick Around
New music may be released in a few months that you’ll fall in love with
There might be perfect weather tomorrow
You might pick up some rubbish from the beach one day that would have killed a creature
Solar eclipses are pretty cool, you could see one
If you stick around long enough you might adopt an animal in the future and that animal needs you to be there for that
You might stumble across a talent or interest you don’t even know about yet
The plants like it when you water them
You never know, this could be your worst night ever so you just have to pull through this one
Is there life on other planets? You wanna know? Stick around to increase your chance of finding out
Ever seen your favourite painting? Maybe you will one day, accidentally even, like street art you never expected to love
You might eat really nice food next week and have that comfortable full feeling
That perfect outfit feeling could be coming up soon
You could have clear skin in like 3 months time it happens
Has a cute bird ever landed on you? No? Stick around for that blessed moment
You know what even simple things like you could reblog a suicide helpline next year that saves a follower and you need to be here to play your part in that
Stay around long enough and your painful present will become your personal past that prepares you for that future you’re struggling to remember right now
I like staying to prove the petty little voice in my head wrong,, like bitch you thought you could make me take us both out??? If I gotta put up with you, you’re stuck with me I ain’t going anywhere
Literally be stubborn with that voice, outlast it cause you deserve to have space in your mind more than that negative little shit that hasn’t done anything good for you
Also ever swam in a lake and felt like a woodland creature? Try it try it try it (but be careful not every lake is safe to swim in)
New memes
You might miss the perfect moment to quote a vine
That new haircut that gets you feeling yourself when you see it in the mirror for a few days after
Feel free to add things to this list
Somehow lost weight after yesterday having 1600+ calories. Stunned and surprised. Let's not ruin it today, fatass!
I wish i had any self control. I feel myself getting food and eating it and then I hate myself and regret it. I don't feel like I can stop when I get into that mode. So here I am, 900 calories already today, my nasty ass double chin hanging out, and I'm going to jump off a bridge.
Guess which fat cunt ate too many snacks yesterday and is up a pound? It's probably all retained water but I still hate myself.