Nikolai

Hello it'sa me let'sa cooka the pizza yipee

[karlmarxverstappen]

he's incredibly self-aware. amazing.

[oscah-deactivated20240906]

RB seb

reblog if you agree

[sandersstudies]

Me: Okay guys remember that it’s important in improv to establish your characters at the beginning of the scene.

Students: ok

Student 1: Hello. I am the president of the United States.

Student 2: Hello madame president. I’m William Shakespeare and I’m here to assassinate you.

[haroldjaffe]

This is the best opening to a scene I've ever heard of

[sandersstudies]

Here’s how the scene actually went as nearly as I can remember.

Student 1: I’m the president of the United States. How can I help you?

Student 2: I’d like to make a complaint about the Vice President.

Student 1: Okay let me just get out my chalkboard where I tally complaints about the Vice President. Let’s see, that makes five… hundred! What’s your complaint?

Student 2: Well you see, I’m here to assassinate you, but I don’t think that guy should take over when you’re dead.

Student 1: Okay let me make some calls. Beep boop beep boop beep beep beep. Hello? I’m here with— What’s your name?

Student 2: I’m William Shakespeare.

Student 1: I’m here with William Shakespeare and he convinced me we need to replace the Vice President. When? Let me ask. — When were you planning to assassinate me?

Student 2: I mean I was thinking like, as soon as I was done talking to you.

Student 1: Okay sounds good. Yes we need to replace him right now, one moment. Beep beep boop beep. Hello? You’re fired. Bye. Ring, ring. Oh, it’s my assistant again. Hello? What’s that? Oh, they want to know if you’re the same William Shakespeare who wrote Romeo and Juliet.

Student 2: Yes, that’s me.

Student 1: What’s that? He’s been dead for four hundred years? Okay thank you goodbye. Sorry they said you’ve been dead for four hundred years so you can’t assassinate me.

[scuderlia]

this is me btw. if u even care.

[5ainz]

sainz storms singapore '23

[leclercskiesahead]

Excuse me?! This view of this moment???

[babssionate]

F O U R T E E N Y E A R S ❤️

Fourteen years ago today, on a soaked Monza track, a rookie from Germany set out to write history and became the youngest driver to win a grand prix.

Everyone was rattled, how did this boy (Sebastian with only 19 championship points to his name) manage to put that car (the Toro Rosso with Minardi DNA) on pole position?

Little did they know that come lights out on Sunday, the young rookie would dominate the field with a 12 second gap to Heikki Kovaleinen and Robert Kubica.

[pinklovehearts]

I love google suggested questions

[melonisopod]

[confused27-4-deactivated2025111]

[liz-has-no-life]

my friend @woomanicguy is a military genius

[officialgleamstar]

character playlists always should have the following:

song that is pretty accurate to the character’s story

song that doesn’t fit the character at all but i was thinking about them while listening to it on loop

song that has one or two lines accurate to the character’s story

song that just kind of is the character’s vibe

song that i desperately wish they would listen to because i personally like it

song that fits the character so well that it’s scary

unsure why this song is in the playlist but it’s so ingrained in my mind as 'part of the playlist' that it would feel weird to remove it

[woomanicguy]

Giggling and kicking my feet while watching a bald man with a bar code on the back of his head run around wearing a suit and a cherry red tie.

[pukicho]

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh

[pukicho]

I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff

no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that

Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

[pukicho]

Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?

doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them

[pukicho]

You will die in 7 days

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right

Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I

[kolbye]

You could if you weren’t a fucking coward

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[raevenlywrites]

Art by coolfrogdude together at last

[bisexualshakespeare]

[ID: a comic illustrating the above thread as if it was happening in a theater. The users are mostly shaped like their icons, pukicho is a pikachu and hokuto-ju-no-ken is a gengar. The last panel is gengar looks back where a speech bubble comes out of the crowd to say, “you could if you weren’t a fucking coward.” /end]

[azzy-the-christian-furry-deacti]

I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this post

[beardedmrbean]

Magic of tumblr,

[athelind]

I am morally obligated to add the YouTube video whenever this thread crosses my dash

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

I’ve seen this thread more than a few times. But this is the first time I’ve seen this video. So thank you for your service.

[f1girlygirl]

Three of the five stages of grief

[tojisloft]

he's so babygirl (is actually 50 or can kill you w/o blinking)

[pwawr]

girls be like “he’s my baby” and it’s literally a grown man that’s committed several felonies

[countingstars-17]

choose your fighter