Lou

23 she/her, bisexual

[gamgee]

you dont even need to cut the tops off strawberries you can just eat the whole thing theyre like kiwis you can just eat all of it

[cinged-deactivated20180706]

[uncasts]

[normal-horoscopes]

Literally nothing makes me happier than the idea of hunting Elon Musk for sport. I am completely serious. The thought actively brings joy to my day.

[normal-horoscopes]

I'd even give him a backpack of food, maybe a day's worth. I'd even leave all his little gadgets on him. You'd only get connection with satellite anyway. He's got to feel confident or it's no fun.

[iamaperture]

Would you toy with him a bunch, or just go straight-in for the kill?

[normal-horoscopes]

Oh you absolutely draw it out are you kidding? You let the initial confidence erode into loneliness as the food and batteries run low, and helplessness when they run out, then fear when he realizes I gave him a canteen but no water. Am I trying to prolong the hunt? Or is it a trap to draw him out towards the rivers? The answer is both.

I’d let him get clever. Maybe he can start a fire with the electronics, maybe he read that he can brew the pine needles into tea for some extra calories. Maybe hes one of those guys that carries a multitool he never uses. Maybe he whittles a branch into a crude spear and manages to catch a salmon. Maybe he learns how many little bones they have.

More likely he goes hungry. That’s when you start fucking with him. You sneak into his camp at night. You leave him protein bars. Good ones. You make him feel watched. You make him feel desperate.

You wait for the full moon. Then you break out the horns and dogs and you learn how fast he can really run.

[lowtiermemer]

You seriously need to see a therapist

[uncle-beanbag]

I kinda wish the tables would turn on people like op

[azzy-the-christian-furry-deacti]

My gut says OP’s response to “what did Elon do to you?” is “he became wealthy and I’m envious and would rather him be dead”

[normal-horoscopes]

It's actually the congolese child slave labor and the illegal apartheid emerald mines and the assisting overthrowing the democratically elected government of Bolivia for lithium but go off king

[rubaayi]

do you wish you were seeing somebody

a therapist 

[partnersinplaid]

Happy New Year from the USA, ladies and theys 😘😘😘

[loulawoolf]

Cheers to my hot as hell girlfriend 🤍😍

[troublingconcerns]

Bingus love

[thyrell]

no one fucking appreciates the work i do

[wizardjpeg]

and btw the seas are fully dried up

[loveamongthesailors]

cant take a bus to the beach to fact check this one right now but reblogging to spread the word just in case

[optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv]

how would the bus driver know when to stop

[whitepeopletwitter]

[chromolume]

with my school teachers it was like “omg they’re so cool i wanna be their friend!” but with university lecturers it’s like “they’re endearing and i love them like cats but are they okay because i think they know too much about 18th century german literature to survive in the world”

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

what, you can’t know who friedrich schiller is and also change a tire?

[chromolume]

literally no

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

this would have worked better if I personally knew how to change a tire

[joshpeck]

obsessed with this anecdote about beyoncé from florence whelch years ago

[woozyyoutth]

hi! i'm sorry, u don't know me, i just feel like you're giving yourself a hard time right now, and i wanted to say you are loved, and someone cares, and you will feel better.

Thank you! big love xx

[pointnclick]

yes, the text is glow in the dark

[ampervadasz]

[drdaanvondutch]

[portaltwo-deactivated20190224]

[internet]

[abdulraveman]

[yassmines]

im losing my mind….shes jus a lil baby…

[sickbrokenangel]

[sickbrokenangel]

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING RESPONSE IVE EVER GOTTEN ON ANY OF MY POSTS EVER