I Want to Know Who I Am

This is a collection of poems that has been constructed by my brain cells. A lot of them have to do with people I care deeply for because this is what takes up a majority of my thoughts; however, there are some poems that diverge from this common topic. I'd like to apologize for all of the pathetic words I write to people I have become infatuated by. Also, please know I am trying to work on writing on other topics too, but this means I need to change my thoughts and this is hard to do. So for the time being this is what I have to say because I like to revolve my poetry around whatever I'm thinking a lot that day. I hope you have a very nice day. You are so beautiful.

[wordless-flight]

How strange it is to be such a paradox-

so happy yet sad,

loving life yet suicidal.

But then I remember our world is a paradox-

of disgusting hatred and evil,

yet beauty and pure love

[wordless-flight]

March 6th, 2015

I don't belong to you.

I am not yours-

you do not have me. 

I thought you were mine

but I was simply set on an infatuation high.

You never loved me.

And I never loved you-

even though I wanted to.

I am not one to be held by you

I hold myself

[wordless-flight]

February 21st, 2015

Stale bread

Bitter coffee 

Leaving such a taste. 

A feeling so similar 

 to the ending of our entwinement.

 I will miss how it was- 

the idea of fresh bread

and a steaming hot cup of coffee... 

But I could never miss what it turned out to be.

[wordless-flight]

November 12, 2014

There's so many things  I want to do with you.

I'm scared; there's not enough time. 

tick-

tock-

[wordless-flight]

November 6th, 2014

Before I was yours and before you were mine,  I was my own and you had your own mind.  Brown eyes- irresistible and divine. One dimensional. A golden twinkle.

Now- Brown eyes- irresistible and divine. Infinite dimensions. I can smell the freshness of your car- it smells like an ice rink I go to sometimes. I can see forests going on forever because I know you love to camp.  I can feel the softness of your earlobes and your hands intertwining with mine, before running down my body as though you are blind and I am braille. I can hear your laughter and your humming. I can feel your presence and the wave of calmness that always comes after I see you. I can see and feel you looking at me with the  golden eyes you have and I know- Nothing about you could ever be one-dimensional. 

[wordless-flight]

October 21st 2014

Days pass by you're there. I want you more- I am selfish. I never really believed people could be homes until I met you.

[wordless-flight]

October 16th, 2014

Even when it is my own relationship,

I cannot say what I think

or feel.

This isn't a relationship.

This is you romanticizing me 

and thinking that I'm your girlfriend. 

I don't belong to you. 

I belong to myself. 

Do you even know?

[wordless-flight]

October 5th

All day- up up up. I should have known it would end with me and a sharp along with an empty soul.

[wordless-flight]

September 24

Isn't it funny how we think we need someone else to fix us? Having someone who loves you will not fix you, but they may just help you fix yourself- or make you realize you were never broken in the first place- but instead a human being.

[wordless-flight]

September 17th 2014

Why is it that I can say I love cereals

animals

books

nature

and even the weather,

but I cannot say that I love you?

If I told you I loved the universe,

would you understand that I love you too?

I believe you would-

that's what scares me. 

[wordless-flight]

September 14, 2014

So many smiles and opening doors-

for me?

How odd. 

Unreciprocated feelings

are everywhere. 

Everywhere except you. 

I only want you.

Please want me too. 

[wordless-flight]

September 12th, 2014

You Make Me Feel Alive 

I just want to talk to you. 

Wrap my arms around you

and call you mine. 

You be mine,

and I'll be yours. 

I've never been anyone's,

but I'd like to be yours. 

Please let me be yours. 

I'm falling so hard for you.

[wordless-flight]

September 11th, 2014

I never really realized what home was

until I looked into your eyes

and saw into you for the first time. 

Because even just your presence

makes me feel at ease. 

[wordless-flight]

September 10th, 2014

I used to measure my time

in test days,

dance classes, 

and how many days were left until the weekend.

I've found that lately

none of these methods work.

None.

Instead I measure the days and weeks,

by whenever I have a conversation

with you.

You're my favorite part of the day. 

[wordless-flight]

September 10th, 2014

you apologize.the words flood out faster than the waterfall Catherine and Henry created. but if only you knew I was not looking at you out of annoyance. I am simply transfixed by you and how your words come out.

[wordless-flight]

August 30, 2014

Out of all the bad in this world, why do so many people choose to reject and punish others for loving someone?

[wordless-flight]

May 20th, 2014

Believe it or not-

none of us have really changed.

But I guess 

none of you would realize that 

because none of you talk 

 to each other anymore.