don't touch me

👭/♏/🐀

[inch--worm]

Me: Really wants a romantic relationship

Me: Never develops strong feelings for anyone

Me: 

[foulserpent]

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

[sneeking]

..go on…….

[foulserpent]

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

[brightereyes]

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

[foulserpent]

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

[brightereyes]

i say nothing

[foulserpent]

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

[brightereyes]

Thanks

[foulserpent]

youre welcome

[justneckbeardthings]

🤔

[shybat-deactivated20190807]

*romantically calls you dude*

[wolffenstien]

*platonically calls you babe*

[grawly]

who is putting these weird fucking clickbait ads on tumblr anyway

[qwopflop]

the answer may shock you

[witchbum]

i’d like to formally call myself out on being such a needy and emotionally confusing person

[unaffect-deactivated20180812]

good morning but at what cost

[lindsaylohoean-deactivated20160]

how many calories do u burn by sliding down a wall crying

[gay-white-bread]

I'm gay and my glasses are dirty

reblog if you’re gay and your glasses are dirty

[77ft-deactivated20241119]

so i got my teeth whitened today

[redandfranticfeelings]

i arrive at doofenshmirtz evil incorporated

perry the platypus: trapped

backstory: told

inator: out

[the-poetic-mathematician]

I AM FORCIBLY ESCORTED FROM THE TRI-STATE AREA

[selierynn]

[weavemama]

WE ONLY HAVE ONE WEEK TO APPRECIATE THESE DATES 

[aclassilieutenant]

And once again Americans get all the fun

[deathrecords-deactivated2016070]

[darklids]

Im into the illness

[gligar]

she’s down with the sickness

[unflatteringcatselfies]

the two stages of jasper’s vet trip

[markv5]

Подстава

[a-cat]

this is not a helpful translation, google.

[a-cat]

oh