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[wordsandi]

I always wanted to leave this way,

On a rainy day with me and they,

Smiles filling the room, warmth and content

Hand in hand with the boys before I ascent,

The passing is smooth, tripping over them not,

Burdening them with rituals for I ran out my slot!!

He was seven when the little asked me,

“Heaven or hell”? his face lit up with impish glee!

Heaven is where I always wanted to be,

For He will be waiting for me, up my family tree!

The doors of the heaven are open,

I see him standing there frozen,

He has the eyes of the Big, sharp hazel eye,

But not his smile, to my surprise!

My marathon of motherhood ends here,

It doesn’t hurt anymore, He is near,

The guilt of losing him suddenly disappear!

Alive in afterlife, I embrace him, I identify my soul!

I declare” Finally my purpose is met, and I am here to rest”,

He whispers “I promise, I will never leave my Nest!”

[wordsandi]

Me, never this weight conscious,

post-delivery complications made me pompous.

Sleep deprived clubbed with stiffness in spine,

To carry my weight, my entire body would whine.

Was not into any sports from school days,

Unmindful of the benefits which fitness pays,

When doctor counselled to start a lifestyle modification,

Only then I realised its signification.

Started monitoring calories intake,

Only steamed veggies and baked pulses for lunchbreak.

Mid breaks substituted with fresh fruit,

80% diet and 20 % workout, that’s the winning route.

10k steps I covered every day,

Stairs over lifts, knowing it comes long way.

For the magnus efforts, the results were slow,

Enrolled in a gym, wanting transformation to show.

Falling for the marketing tactics and offers,

PT, and protein powders, paying more dollars.

Requiring discipline and determination immense,

The regime my trainer provided was intense.

With 2 months of my personal training,

Visible results, I started showing.

Reluctant to extend PT after the tenure expired,

treatment I received made me perspired.

Sudden restricted equipment access,

My workout doubts they instantly repress.

Extreme indifference and lack of guidance,

  Thus, got clear motive of their pretence.

The reality hit me very hard,

Fitness industry utterly scarred.

Now due to pandemic and lockdown,

Around 7 odd kgs I got to low down.

This time, I enrol for regular membership,

Lessons learnt, after the previous hardship.

[wordsandi]

I know you are busy reading,

I have got a doubt, you mind hearing.

The book which I completed just now,

Is all about Lord Rama breaking the bow.

It is not that I dislike God,

At times to believe, I find it really hard.

You know I always add a prayer before I sleep,

Will he punish me for the doubts I keep?

My sweetie! There is nothing wrong to query,

You know I am always around, then this worry!

There is no wrong in having a doubt,

Never hesitate to give me a shout.

Just like you, I had had my own qualms.

Agree it is not easy to trust HIS forms.

There are plenty of stories on Almighty,

Like you, I have also questioned his novelty.

In one fable, he takes a form of gladiator,

Numerous tales, portraying as mediator and peacemaker.

At times he is dark, sometimes leaves a blue foot Mark.

Goddess you see, pretty and pinkish she looks,

Durga and Kali, around demon’s bloody brooks.

Agree, it is tough to believe something without seeing,

But Sweetie! Divinity is experienced by our feeling.

Nine long months you sat in darkness, inside my tummy!

How truly you believed, I will be taken care by this mommy!

[wordsandi]

Cometh every single December,

Plenty of cyclone’s names to remember.

This year’s entrant “Mandous”,

Hoping it doesn’t play worse.

Chennai, the city I’m currently residing,

Off late gets hefty downpouring.

North east monsoon used to fetch us good rains,

Climate changes, global warming, and risky urbanisation, ruining our plains.

Sewage and drainage, my city’s eternal worry,

Yet, we fantasize lake view apartments strangely.

Our summers lasting very longer,

scarcity of water continuously growing stronger.

Despite the trouble our pouring season brings,

We look forward for this, like a bird with new wings.

As the first drop of rain befalls,

We await to embrace it with standard protocols.

Warm tea and pastries, deep fried comforting savouries,

Cosiness and cuddles, mesmerising musical bliss reverberating balconies.

The moist in the air, leaves with fresh green wear,

Chill breezy travels, with colourful umbrellas our roads flare.

With the everlasting rhythm of water ripples,

We sign off every year, blissfully our Christmas jingles.

[wordsandi]

Last few months extremely taxing,

Mind and brain non-stop boxing.

unable to focus, fatigued like locust,

sanity and peace no longer robust.

With appetite taken a halt,

Laziness ruling me default.

 no clarity of thought,

fun missing from plot.

Daily routines mixed up,

Sleep wake cycle messed up.

no enthusiasm to work,

 blindly shunning my network.

Entire day tucked to bed,

Spirit and vibe long dead.

As days pass by, the agony widens.

With every passing minute, silence heightens.

I feel vast anguish for no reasons,

Grave darkness as night deepens.

Last few months extremely taxing,

Mind and brain non-stop boxing.

Is it right to call this feeling Stress?

When I’m Ignorant of what caused this distress.

[wordsandi]

Husband gifted my first ever bike,

Guess planned surprise for my job hike.

Ardent fan of scotty brand from school days,

The durability and mileage heard it outplays.

He had thoughtfully booked one in yellow,

Winning my heart, acing it every time, this fellow.

Along with the bike, the key chain he had carefully chosen,

Captioned,” I love my Mom” when my offspring passed it, I stood frozen!

I believe I thrive on little things,

Through Breezy bikes rides I feel flying with wings!

If I had to choose my spirit vehicle,

Obviously, bike! for its generic like a particle.

When it hasn’t been my day,

One short ride enough to keep worries at bay.

Last time I rode a bike, had knocked out an old lady to lamp post.

More than two decades, past visuals, haunting me like a ghost.

Rationally, high time to get rid of this phobia,

With changing times there is no room for this nostalgia.

With growing kid and demanding elders at home,

For any emergencies, need not depend on others to roam.

Of course! I totally get driving is highly liberating,

You get a sense of freedom, which this act validating.

With my stuttering clasp on directions, riding again seems tough.

You only live once, things like this make it worth stuff.

[wordsandi]

I picked the little from his school van,

His Trademark smile missing, as I scan.

Passing me his bag, he walked home fretting,

Must be bad day at school, as I see his tears rolling.

He runs and breaks open our house gate,

Petty fight with classmate, is what I speculate.

He pounces on the sofa, drops his school bag,

Why is he missing his usual brag?

I inspect his lunch box, plenty of food leftover,

Snacks and water bottle not emptied moreover.

I turn towards him, demanding an explanation,

He cuddles me tight, finally ready for a conversation.

“You know what happened today at school?

There was a duel and Freddy called me fool.

Remember what you have always said,

We can’t use a bad word if we turn red.

Every time I questioned you,” what are the right terms to express one’s rage?”

Your constant answer “There are no bad words available for your age.”

Today I learned you have cheated me all long,

For a 3rd grader, acceptable bad word -Fool, using it is not all wrong.

[wordsandi]

I dread to check mails every fortnight.

Credit cards statements, my worst fright.

I open the mail with loads of anxiety,

If only I could practice frugality.

Bill amount due- it says, 30 thousand odds,

Savings for this month, surely not on cards.

Meticulously checking for expenditure’s break down,

Yet another month evincing, I’m a spendthrift clown.

Black Friday offers, end of season sale and huge discounts,

I always fall for these publicity hounds.

Under graduation in accounts, Post-graduation in finance,

Irony got me now, Money management my failing stance.

Despite enormous content consumption on savings and tax’s,

My credit card spending totally wrecks.

For investing in shares, I take months to analyze,

Impulsive buying, I constantly fantasize.

Swapped several banks for saving on home loan rates,

But comfortably opts for smart EMI which credit card dictates!

Penny wise and pound foolish,

My equation with credit card is one rubbish.

This selective intelligence with money I exhibit,

May seem legit, for sure I’m not going to benefit.

In the game of money, saving’s not a clever opening gambit,

Right way to win forever, is to fix your bad spending habit!

[wordsandi]

My grand mother turns 86 this year,

With every passing day she is losing her gear.

Succumbed to spine disc prolapse,

Bedridden for years, lead to her moral lapse.

With fading senses and wrinkly skin,

She constantly earns for her kin.

Eyes losing its spark, Shoulder’s bend like an arc,

Trembling hands and drooling lips, her memories skips, without walker she slips!

Circa 2014, she was up and running,

Caring and pampering my offspring.

Effortlessly she managed our chaotic household,

Constantly delivering beyond her threshold.

Voracious reader of Tamil novels and journals,

Authority she exhibited alike Army Kernels.

Witty and sensible, friendly, and frugal,

information she carried, like Wikipedia and google.

Abandoned by her husband with 3 demanding kids,

Sailed all alone by herself through sheer grits.

Sheltered by her siblings and relatives,

Minimalistic spending her life’s objectives.

Empathetic and hardworking,

Ruthless yet accommodating.

Highly devotional, rationally emotional,

Quirky one-liners, her sarcasm phenomenal.

 

With stay away dad and working mom,

She, the CCTV camera in our dorm.

Me and my sister always on her radar,

One little mess, we will burn like a cigar.

She engulfed us with her cuisine, stressing discipline and hygiene.

“Intelligent and independent”, she says, only they take predominance.

Exhausted with life, my grandmother turns 86 this year,

she constantly questions when will death be near?

With worsening health and weakening soul,

She feels 86 is right digit to end the roll.

[wordsandi]

It’s a Sunday so my home’s quiet,

Unlike the other day’s sans riot.

My lad is fast asleep,

His dad diligently into weekly upkeep.

I lay in our bed scrolling my phone,

laziness getting into my every bone.

Few minutes of mindless scrolling,

Eyes tired of constant staring,

Setting mobile in silent mode,

I shut my eyes like a toad.

Silence disturbed by a sudden notification,

This new friend request, one fine exhilaration.

This is my senior from school days,

More than a decade, we have parted ways.

Deviously I scanned his profile image,

His signature smile, still fresh as beverage.

He is squeezing his boy tight,

next to him his wife shines bright.

He presently works in an MNC,

It’s been years he migrated to NYC.

There is a picture of his mom and dad,

Like one perfect family posing for an ad.

His was the charmer of his batch,

His aptitude bet no one can match.

Gentle, outspoken, and extremely honest,

Of all the senior’s he is the warmest.

For many of my friends he is their first crush,

when he crosses them, they hush, and blush.

He was my librarian’s pet, Me, her constant fret.

She once punished me for tearing a book,

He helped me getting off the hook.

From then on, we smile and greet,

Until one day everything was sweet and neat.

We had all started for my birthday treat,

With bunch of roses, he proposed me in street.

Sobbing and crying, I ran out of the thatch,

Indeed, we had hit a rough patch.

That's, my senior from school days,

More than a decade, we have parted ways.

Now I gladly accept the invite,

Connecting with him would be delight!

[wordsandi]

Nature’s bliss

On a balmy evening, I set for a travel

Just to unleash from routine and unravel.

Realized I the necessity for a time-off,

Bored of monotonous in dire need of some laugh.

Sudden shift in mindset to enjoy usual little things,

Wish I am a free bird to flock my wings.

The sun rises and sets everyday but that day’s so beautiful

Subliming in the nature's wonder felt so blissful.

Travelled along with me monstrous clouds, clear and dark

Setting up for a heavy downpour to leave its mark.

Few little raindrops I spotted on my windscreen,

Fears of my future vanished along with my doubtful mind screen.

Moments later in the sky I saw "the third crescent 🌙"

In the dark night shining like a pretty pheasant.

Far away could I notice the light of dawn,

For the night is over and I felt like a new-born fawn.

Now I ascended the lush green hill

Elevated spirits and beliefs proclaim, "I will”.

Halted mid-way for some little refreshment

The chill breeze's kisses rendered fulfilment.

Faded away all my doubts along with the gentle winds

Stronger I became, less heavy the world's binds.

Over the lawn, I jumped and hopped like a child

Returned home with a heart transformed so mild.

In need of help, let it come from the mother Nature

Aren't we small & one amongst many creatures??

[wordsandi]

It starts this Friday after sunset,

Been looking forward for this contest.

People from various state participate,

20 lakh of cash prize is what news headline anticipate.

Media charged to cover this sensation,

Never in India there had been a fight for procrastination.

I was ranked 5th in the top ten,

Amongst the best contestants of sluggish men.

we are asked to present series of anthology,

snippets highlighting our history of lethargy.

Each player gets an hour to present his case,

With examples and stories to substantiate his base.

Tremendous pressure turned me pinner,

The audience poll will decide the winner.

This is my forte, I surely have it in my bones,

That’s how I earned my title “Lazybones”.

I swear on bible, I am born idle.

Even after countless attempts, I did not twiddle.

When my fellow friends played in pair,

I hardly moved an inch from chair.

When my class teacher alleged “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy”,

I confronted her upfront, “this is insane! I neither like to work, nor love to play,

whatever you are preaching is pure foul play!”

The class went silent, our teacher turned violent,

Like always I exhibited indolent.

I partook this contest to refute laziness is an issue,

Only few souls like us experience this virtue.

Being lazy, many calls it a dangerous disease,

I’m born with it, there is nothing to tease.

My body, My mind, and My choice,

High time to show, sloth bear also rejoices!

 

Claps and whistles filled the air,

Acknowledging the game, I played fair!

Suddenly everyone went crazy,

Ready to root for this Lazy!

I won the title hands down,

From now on I’m no more a clown!

Media quizzing, “With the cash prize are you going bullish or bearish?”

Swiftly responding, “I forever will stay put sluggish

[wordsandi]

Mirror Rage

Hey you! Mirror, Mirror on the wall,

High time, Tell me, you my true pal?

Yesterday when I wore new blue solid dress,

You divulged me like a damsel in distress!

Pretty pastel saree, the one I bought from mall boutique,

The minute I draped it; how dare you concaved my Physique?

The other day when I tried Levi’s mid waist denim,

You disclosed me like a fashion victim!

Hey you! Mirror, Mirror on the wall,

High time, Tell me, you my true pal?

Remember Last Sunday, I stood before you for few extra minutes,

Tans, wrinkles, blisters, and pimples, how politely you pulled off my limits!

Receding hair lines, expanding jaw lines,

Scary blackheads, teeth that needs floss,

Are you my true friend when you constantly magnify my flaws?

Hey, you! sweetie, sweetie, now please stop this bawl.

Get this clear, these fault games won’t make me small!

You, my master – I’m your eternal slave!

Remember you made me from liquid sand wave.

My life is bit of a riddle, unlike your ego I am highly brittle!

Created with a purpose to reflect the object,

Perfect and correct are out of my subject.

I only show what is been shown,

Sweetie, you can’t blame me for being own!

Hey, you! sweetie, I’m mirror, mirror on your wall.

I will only be me, no matter whatever name you call!

[wordsandi]

The old school Vs New cool

On a random Tuesday, a colleague of mine pulled me into this big interrogation,

You know, off late it got me thinking,” how could you decide

to spend rest of your life with one partner and call this union a fascination?

At some point won’t you feel stagnation and stay put for mere obligation?

Don’t you think with these changing times, your concept of marriage is more outdated?

Me being the new zen, I prefer the concept of live in, that’s more sophisticated

Reason being, I have the liberty to call it off when it becomes too suffocated!”

Lousy afternoon shaken off by this Gen Z vs Millennials views,

my thoughts wandering lose,

I ponder on what words to choose,

How do I tell him about my school of marriage?

He for one feels mine is certainly a hostage.

How can I explain him my way of love?

If I do, wont he feel it a hefty shove?

Bro! “your generation thriving on choices,

Not used to tolerate little noises!

For your gen everything is seen in prism of relevance,

Why can’t I have it all? your constant resonance!

You search logic in magic, cherish comfort and there is no room for compromise,

your happiness and aspirations, you want entire world to prioritize!

Unlike yours, my generation thrived on acceptance,

which resulted in less turbulence as a result longer maintenance

We are tuned to believe it at first

to have robust faith that it will for sure work,

through this way we counted our blessings,

and build healthy relationship out of weddings!

We fantasized magic, celebrated little act of emotions,

It was us above me, the formula which solved all the commotions!

But everything happened in a decade completely different than yours,

May be that’s why the love of my time, in your eyes it kind of blurs!

“The old school” you always call me, Bro! that’s how we exist,

Our love and our marriages this way we will persist!

[wordsandi]

Along with Appa from native, arrived a box of my fav salt and butter cookie,

The bundle, the label, and the texture of it, made me a little Festie!

The crisp and warmth of devouring it, transported me to childhood

Being lively, silly, and carefree were my kinhood!

Naïve, naughty, sharing and caring me back then,

Used to spend those days, chirpy like wren!

Never cared for other’s opinion and no concept of prejudice,

Not into people pleasing business and no pressure to be wise😊!

The little things which gave immense happiness then,

Sudden drizzle, clear blue skies, scorching sun & torrential rain,

However, the seasons changed, nothing brought a strain.

And now, tiny strands of sweat, rapid change in air,

Brings sea change in temper, as we flare and glare!

Why do we always crave for the kid in us?

May be as we grow, we turn out to be worse?

Just like me, do you also feel growing up is a curse?

I somehow sense, we are constantly engrossed in filling the purse!

Does content and childhood, goes hand in hand?

Lesser wants and larger smiles, oh! Now I understand! 😊

Why anguish and adulthood embrace each other?

Coz, Infinite wants and unrealistic needs, Misery my brother!

[wordsandi]

There is lot of anxiety around us these days,

World war 3 it is, all the headline says!

So much of distress, seeing the visuals,

Humanity and peace, we understand are just rituals!

People fleeting from homeland, civilians holding guns,

Kids partying their war going fathers, worried mothers as world nations shun!

Surprisingly, the narrative has not changed from the nasty war histories,

Border issues, territorial fights, dictatorship, and aggression,

Army invasion, nuclear threats steaming from destructive strategies!

How did we land in 20th century with this primitive mindset?

All our advances in inventions and technologies, now offset!

Countries claiming to have created more doctors, engineers, astronauts and highly skilled individual!

Irony got us thinking,” Did we create more humane in actual?”.

War is, was and never will be a right action,

For we have seen before its reaction!

“Time is a great teacher, it will keep repeating, till we learn the lesson right”.

This should be the answer for people who quote history repeats for the plight!

Let’s refrain from doing same mistakes again,

As, we don’t want our kids to complain,

From our ancestors “There was nothing to retain!”

[wordsandi]

Yesterday At 8 pm night,

He ran to me with a fright,

tears flowing and words wobbling,

My little bird, was all trembling ☹

Mom,” Please, I don’t want to die

even if I am old and dry,

I desperately wish, I don’t want to pass by!

I pulled him closer, wrapping him with mamma hugs,

Gently spelled “care to talk about what hurts?”

“I saw what happens to people when they die,

Made me ponder, is God such a bad Guy?

Dark and buried inside the spooky casket,

Maggots feasting on skin like breadbasket

If this how we all will be gone,

At first place why are we all born?

I want to be immortal; I want to be eternal,

what does it take for one to not have their funeral?

My heart skipped a beat,

to answer him was no mean feat,

They say there is no manual for motherhood,

Stranded here I am, like a log of driftwood ☹

I am not going to unleash the harsh reality of life,

Already he feels being stabbed by death knife!

This mommy is going to prefer a comforting lie,

Fiction works well with my cutie pie😊

mythos and belief, stocked in my armour,

I affirm “God is your father, and he can’t be one harmer,

He has said “Ask and It shall be given & seek you shall find it”

You know my sweetie; I did ask him once and he did give me the best:0

And now he had a glee in his eye, frowns disappearing and words pressing,

Before he could ask, I declare “You are my BEST BLESSING”

Holding his hands, I add a small prayer for the little’s eternity,

He sprints to correct “Not only for me, but pray for all,

I don’t want anyone in the world to die,

even if they are old and dry”.