little words whispered to nobody

i write things to feel a little less alone

[wordsofbeing]

- “lies i tell myself”

[wordsofbeing]

you send me a message at 3 am and i wonder if i should tell you that none of these words mean anything at least not any of the things you might think they mean. with each letter you send me a bit of your heart,  throwing each swell and beat and expansion of that vital organ into your sentences.

i can’t afford to be so careless with mine. it was bruised far before you and it’s not your fault. you sound too much like them and i don’t know how to turn that sound into something soothing when i’ve been conditioned to be scared.

please, don’t open your heart to me because you have no walls up, no guard to keep you safe and i am nothing but  walls.

i don’t want to leave you in the cold, but i can only let you in far enough to show you back out.

- b. e.

[wordsofbeing]

the universe brings you people sometimes. not to live in your life for years but to give you a smile when you need it most to make the best cup of coffee you ever had to share an umbrella with you in the rain.

the universe sends you soulmates but it sends you these people too split second soulmates when you need it most.

- b. e.

[wordsofbeing]

sometimes this city makes me feel small and not small in the way that you stare up at the stars and you feel so suddenly insignificant in the vastness of space and all the weight lifts because these problems are tiny things, and you find safety in the endless and caring universe.

it’s the kind of small where it’s all too overwhelming and you don’t see a single familiar face, everything is new new new and you just want one thing to be yours. just one thing. the buildings are too big and the noises are all too loud and it all feels so close. and yet so far.