Fucking Gen Z Man

I am a behavior manager at a day treatment center for teens. The kids I work with are the funniest people I have ever met. This is some of the shit I hear.(For privacy reasons I will not share where I work and no real names will ever be used)

[working-with-teens]

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it it’s probably shit.

[working-with-teens]

*while on a hike*

D: *trips* why has Mother Nature forsaken me.

[working-with-teens]

While playing four square:

E: I just wanna let you know, that no matter what happens this round it’s nothing personal

J: yeah sure

E: *immediately gets out* NOW ITS PERSONAL!!!

[working-with-teens]

J *holding out a runic cube to D*

D: nah man I hurt my wrist, my PHALANGES MAN!

[working-with-teens]

Staff: yeah have you heard the theory where all of the characters in Winnie the Pooh represent a mental illness?

D: yeah me and Eyore are like this 🤞

[working-with-teens]

E: when your asked to go get a stick

D: and you get the skinny one cuz you’re NAIVE

[whatever-i-am]

I want to make something ABUNDANTLY CLEAR:

Women in the United States of America have lost their freedom. The supposed “land of the free” is going to let women and girls, CHILDREN, die because a clump of cells begins to multiply. Make no mistake, abortion WILL still be happening, it will just happen with unsanitary coat hangers and falling down the stairs. I cannot express the FUCKING RAGE I feel right now. If you aren’t angry about Roe v. Wade being overturned:

UNFOLLOW ME NOW.

[working-with-teens]

Staff: how many times do we prompt our peers?

E: whenever they’re being little shits.

Staff: no.

[working-with-teens]

Me: you seem so happy today!

E: LIFE IS JUST GREAT 😁

Me: good, I’m so glad!

E: that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told in my life.

[working-with-teens]

T: hey Mrs. T you are the only thing holding my life together at this point want to come back and hold it some more?

[working-with-teens]

I: you know, sometimes I think you’re sexually attracted to gummy bears

J: no I’m sexually attracted to cars.

[working-with-teens]

J: what’s 69+420?

Me: *without thinking* a good day. …….SHIT WAIT NO.

[working-with-teens]

J: I hate milk

Me: fair, but why?

J: cuz I drank the chocolate milk and my stomach immediately said, “you are now a menace to society”

[working-with-teens]

A: I am the voice in the back of your head telling you to do bad things.

[working-with-teens]

Today the children woke up and chose chaos.

They literally used an entire roll of tape.

Me: MY TAPE IS ALL GONE

L: lol no it’s not; it’s right here *gestures to the web*

[working-with-teens]

D: *talking to another teacher* no I can’t work on that assignment today or else I won’t have anything to do tomorrow.

Me: oh no don’t worry you have plenty of missing assignments to work on! 😁

D: *whispering to me* shut the fuck up!

[working-with-teens]

E: we are allowed to swear at my house because we all FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER