sighhhh

vent blog

[worry-worm]

this blog was purely created for venting and talking about other personal things i don’t want people close to me to know

prolly gonna be cringe

[worry-worm]

brain cant choose wether to be repulsed by or crave physical affection

[lotussart]

do you understand my vision

[worry-worm]

i will never be truly me.

[worry-worm]

I just want to SLEEP but even if I close my eyes it’s still too bright and I’m gonna blame the static for that

[worry-worm]

i don’t even know what i’m doing anymore. idk why. but the universe was like “happy transgender, here’s all the euphoria you will ever experience in your life, that’ll be enough for the next couple of months!” and after that it’s just. pain. i don’t want to exist 

[worry-worm]

will we be strangers in five years from now? will you only be a wonderful memory?

[worry-worm]

looking at all the tall boys in suits here, i feel a sort of sadness knowing i will never be like that. that even if i tried it wouldn’t be the same.

i focus on that sadness. i want it to envelope me. at least for a little. make it spin a cocoon of melancholy around my wretched body.

[worry-worm]

i don’t understand why but sometimes i just stop caring about the people in my life for a day or two and it really bothers me, because i love my friends so much but sometimes i just get sick of them for no reason?? it’s not burn out i think because im not really doing anything that would get me burnt out

[worry-worm]

i’m kind of proud of myself for never really telling anyone about The Dread but oh boy do i want to do just that sometimes 

because i do want my best friend to really know me, because i want our friendship to be sincere and completely honest bcs i love them, but at the same time i feel like he’ll see me differently when i tell them

[worry-worm]

sometimes i need to strangle myseld because what am i even doing in life. like in general why am i so stupid

[worry-worm]

I find it crazy how some people believe that non binary (and other identities under the umbrella) can’t experience dysphoria because my experience is like. Does euphoria even exist. Is it real.

[worry-worm]

will my allo friends see me as an innocent child forever?

[worry-worm]

i dont feel very hopeful for our future

[worry-worm]

sleep deprivation and visual snow is not a great combo why is the world actually spinning

[worry-worm]

i really miss caring about my friends and family. i miss obsessing over some show or character so i could distract myself for a month or two. idk why it doesn’t happen anymore. i feel like im suffocating but im completely calm at the same time

[worry-worm]

i hate when i vent to my friends and they are nice to me because why why why