Clint Barton

*Clint Barton/Hawkeye AU!MCU & Comic Book Semi-Selective Roleplay* TRACKING: worst-mistakes I WILL NOT RP WITH YOU IF YOU HAVE NOT READ MY RULES.

[hottesthatter2211]

The Mask || Clint Barton [SPOILERS] It holds me down, but made me a man that says fuck all those rules.

[worst-mistakes]

//Blehhh. I am too sleepy to do anymore responses. 

[memestockpile]

good morning / good night sentence starters. feel free to change pronouns / descriptors as you see fit. put two sentences together if needed be. some of these are interchangeable. 

good morning.

‘ i’ll make breakfast. ‘

‘ i made you breakfast. ‘

‘ we should make a big breakfast. ‘

‘ did you sleep good? ‘

‘ good morning, sleepyhead. ‘

‘ i slept so good last night. ‘

‘ i didn’t sleep at all. ‘

‘ you’re up early. ‘

‘ you sure slept in late. ‘

‘ you have a little crust around your eye. ‘

‘ you look like hell. ‘

‘ here’s your breakfast. ‘

‘ what do you want for breakfast? ‘

‘ your favorite cartoon is on. ‘

‘ oh, i used to watch this all the time as a kid on saturday mornings. ‘

‘ your morning cleaning music woke up me. ‘

‘ i would’ve slept in later. ‘

‘ someone’s grouchy. ‘

‘ i haven’t had my coffee yet. ‘

‘ up and at ‘em! ‘

‘ hey. you awake? ‘

‘ good morning, sunshine. ‘

‘ morning, sweetie. ‘

good night.

‘ i’m going to bed. ‘

‘ go to bed. ‘

‘ back to bed. ‘

‘ let’s get you in bed. ‘

‘ you’ll feel better in the morning. ‘

‘ let’s take some medicine then send you to bed, okay? ‘

‘ i’ll be home in time to tuck you in. ‘

‘ up you go. ‘

‘ shhh. shh. sh. ‘

‘ time for bed. ‘

‘ can you tuck me in? ‘

‘ will you come in before you leave for work and check on me? ‘

‘ alright, sleepyhead, i think it’s time for bed. ‘

‘ you should be in bed. ‘

‘ can i stay up later? ‘

‘ bedtime. ‘

‘ it’s past your bedtime. ‘

‘ what are you still doing up? ‘

‘ this bed is comfy. ‘

‘ let me carry you. ‘

‘ do you want me to tuck you in? ‘ 

‘ can you tell me a story? ‘

‘ once upon a time … ‘

‘ when’s the last time you slept? ‘

‘ of course i can do that, honey. ‘

‘ i love you. ‘

‘ what helps you go to sleep? ‘

‘ i had a bad dream. ‘

‘ can i sleep with you? ‘

‘ i don’t think you’ve been getting enough sleep. ‘

‘ i’m expecting you to go to bed earlier. we have a big day tomorrow. ‘

‘ you had a long hard day, didn’t you? ‘

‘ you keep yawning. i’ll take it from here. ‘

‘ you, bed. now. ‘

‘ i can’t ever go to sleep on time. ‘

‘ goodnight, baby. i’ll see you in the morning. ‘

‘ go to sleep. i’ll put you to bed. ‘

‘ where’s my goodnight kiss? ‘

[worst-mistakes]

*goes to order food* *puts the wrong address down* Fuck.

[worst-mistakes]

//Ughhh school is a bitch. BUT I LIVE

[worst-mistakes]

@notthatkindofdoctorbanner

“It didn’t?” Bruce asked, glancing over at Clint. “Huh.. I might have forget to set it last night..”

Clint gives the man a look of horror, “How do you fix it?” He questions, pushing a mug towards Bruce. “I don’t know how to work Stark’s coffee pot.”

[notthatkindofdoctorbanner]

Bruce chuckled a bit and shrugged. “You can always take a power nap while this brews.” He suggested, listening to the machine spit into life. “And I can tell FRIDAY not to ignore you, ya know.”

[worst-mistakes]

“Then I won’t wake up in time and it will get cold.” Clint pouts, “Cold coffee is the worst.” He rubs his eyes as he waits for the machine to brew, “It’s fine-- I probably would mess something up anyways. Tony one time told me that I could break any electronic without even trying.”

[blackwatch-cowboy]

worst-mistakes‌:

im-a-starlord‌:

“He would have to catch me first.” Clint grins from ear to ear, “Tastes like shit, but it gets you drunk pretty quick.” He motions for the man to follow, “Normally I would just use a fork or something to open it, but lately Tony has been leaving it unlocked– pretty sure he stopped trying after the third time.” 

Clint could tell they were getting into uncomfortable territory at Peter’s words; tilting his head slightly. “Well, could be worse. Kinda reminds me of Michael Jackson’s coat, it being red and all.” He motions up and down; wondering how to go forward. “Must of been a pretty awesome dude then– can’t say I relate. My dad didn’t do much form me except mess with my hearing.” He motions to his hearing aid. “A coat doesn’t sound bad in comparison– What he do anyways?”

    “Dude you gotta teach me the fork trick. Might come in handy later.” Peter gave a small grin a that as he followed the other around the corner and down the hall, shoving his hands in his  pockets as he did and possibly regretting  mentioning clothes in the first place. He coughed awkwardly, his gaze briefly looking to the object in the  agents ear before darting his gaze away. “Er, yikes man. M’guessin’ I don’t wanna know huh?” Quill muttered with a shake of his head.

“And oh! Uh, my dad was a blue space pirate dude. Had a cool ass magical arrow thingy that flew around and killed people with just a whistle. Pretty sure you especially would’ve thought it was badass. I keep runnin’ into people with an arrow fetish.” Peter teased if only to lighten the mood once gain.

[worst-mistakes]

“If you think the fork trick is impressive, I don’t know if I should tell you about what Tasha can do.” Clint chuckles softly, pushing the doors open to Stark’s kitchen. He quickly makes his way over towards the liquor cabinet.

“It isn’t a very long story,” Clint shrugs, “My dad didn’t like me being mouth and decided to try and knock some sense into me.” He had long since accepted it after all-- his hearing had been finicky since he was young after all. “Your dad sounds way cooler.”

Clint begins to mess with the cabinet as he listens, pulling out a large bottle of vodka. “Now that sounds awesome-- did he have good aim with it? Did he have to shoot it or just like-- let go? What type of arrow is it?” Clint had more questions than he expected about the weapon. He begins to hand the bottle over to the other man with a grin.

[worst-mistakes]

Clint hadn’t been expecting the kid to show up, let alone acknowledge him. They never really spoke, even after Stark’s untimely death. Blinking a few times, it takes Clint a second to realize what the Peter was saying. 

“Clint is fine.” He shook his head, the idea of being called a sir rubbed him the wrong way. “What are you doing up? Don’t you have school or something?” Not that Clint would blame him if he skipped-- it wasn’t like he actually went to school at all.

[worst-mistakes]

“Coffee cures me of everything-- need to sleep, coffee; need to stay away, coffee; need to go beat up a bad guy, coffee.” Clint offers up a grin at his words, taking another sip-- a bit upset by how cold it had gotten, at least it was almost out. He shrugs not wanting anyone to mess around with his head even now. “Nah, I got it.” He waved off her offer.

His shoulders sag as he leans back in his seat, closing his eyes as if that would cure him of the insomnia he was suffering. “Pancakes wouldn’t be too bad.” He murmurs under his breath-- hopefully he would be able to actually eat something this time. He mostly was surviving off coffee at this point; still the man didn’t want to worry her. “Sure-- let’s have some pancakes, maybe some strawberries on the side? I used to do that all the time.”

[worst-mistakes]

//Alright. It is night night time for me. I need sleep.

[orenotsumi-deactivated20200204]

🕷💕⚔️

[worst-mistakes]

“That is mister deadly archer assassin dude.” Clint can’t keep a smirk off his face as he debates on the offer, “Alright-- the last time I was asked on a date it ended with me naked jumping through a window while I was getting shot it. It can’t get any worse than that can it?”

“I feel like I am more of an Ethan Hunt than a James Bond. Take me to your ship, Han Solo.”

[worst-mistakes]

“I’ll leave that up to you to decipher. Assassin's are at their best in their ambiguity.”’

Clint rubs the back of his head as he laughs, “You probably will get a car before I would-- last car I had was washed away in a flood. Before that, I had a bunch of mafia members tear apart my car.” Clint pauses, “Did I tell you that time that I managed to piss of Magneto? Man-- that was such a good car too. He crushed it into a ball-- it wasn’t like I meant to offend him.”

[worst-mistakes]

“Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.”

cheesy pick up lines.

“Sounds messy. Try not to get blood on the floor while you do it.”

[worst-mistakes]

//I just passed 1000 followers and I have no idea what the fuck you all are doing here.

[vaememes]

cheesy pick up lines.

“You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.” “Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night.” “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!” “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.” “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.” “I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?” “I bet you play soccer, because you’re a keeper.” “Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.” “I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.” “Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.” “Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.” “Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.” “I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.” “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?” “If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?” “You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.” “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?” “Are you Google? Because I’ve just found what I’ve been searching for.” “There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are now 100% off!” “Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal you’re heart, and you’ll steal mine.” “I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!” “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?” “I think there’s something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.” “If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.” “Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?” “Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.”

[worst-mistakes]

Clint lets out a laugh at the other’s words-- it had been awhile since someone sassed him back. “Well maybe you should get complimented more. Your space pirate ways are pretty sexy.”

“Oh? Are you saying that we make a good pair over-all?” Clint chuckles softly, eyes glimmering with humor. “I was just assuming it was a sex thing, but if you are askin’ me on a date, things might change.”