“There is a difference between taking the time you need to forgive someone who has wronged you and is making the necessary changes in their behavior to make amends with you, versus prolonging punishment either out of spite or to avoid uncomfortable conversations during reconciliation between both of you. One creates opportunity for growth and healing while the other makes the situation more difficult, avoids conflict, and causes unnecessary harm and suffering. One comes from genuine care for the other person while also respecting your own feelings and healing process, while the other comes from anger, fear, and resentment towards someone who made a mistake, but still cares about you enough to try and make amends for their actions. Someone who cares more about you and the relationship between you both that they are willing to hold themselves accountable and do the work to rebuild trust with you is not someone who who is trying to hurt you intentionally or abuse your healing process. You can recognize the difference by how they are choosing to listen, learn, and change their behavior versus someone who chooses to repeat the same behavior and make excuses for it. Forgive those who care enough to do better for you. Keeping an open mind and heart while being open to restorative communication is the key to true healing and a cornerstone of creating and maintaining healthy relationships. It is the difference between being a peacemaker or a grudge holder.” -JD
