🌳 and intimacy explorations under the cut. mind the tags!
guy who doesn't think qifrey would be this intimate but wants to explore it anyways because plant-gore is fun. rooting for that tree (but only for this instance. i want them to be happy canonically ;u;)
i remember having more thoughts on this last night but I just woke up and have some work to do so mayhaps I will update this blurb sometime later (or not--thank god for readmores)
anyways hope the art is still interesting :)
What's it like for Qifrey to feel the Silverwood curse?
We first learn about him when he tells Coco. He explains that "secrets are a heavy burden, and nothing brings more relief than letting them go"
But he didn't always know what he was. Yet he could feel something was wrong. Something different twisted inside him. If we focus on his experiences and facial expressions as he learns about it, we can learn a lot.
Here's the first time. He was drowning. Literally, obviously, but also metaphorically. He's got no friends, no memories, nothing. Olruggio saves him. Olruggio holds him tight. He lets out a sigh. He feels safe. And there's the tree.
This next one I broke up into a few key points. I see people dwell on the hand reaching memory flashback, and they interpret this as a wholly terrifying experience, but I disagree.
Beldaruit is playful, kind, and praising Qifrey. There's no tree motif of telltale krrrk sound, but Qifrey says it happened again. He recognizes the feeling.
And then he smiles. He brings his hand up to where beldaruit touched him, and he smiles. He says it wasn't upsetting AT ALL.
Next, he tries to describe it to Olruggio. When people are nice to him, it makes him feel uncomfortable. There's the tree in the background but he doesn't look scared.
And here, no one is touching him, praising him, etc. Olruggio is there, but mostly just listening. This is Qifrey. Saying he's never even thought about the future. Thinking he never thought he'd get the chance to consider what comes next. He could settle down, in a place like this, under the stars, with Olruggio by his side. And there's the feeling.
This one is abstract, because we are between flashbacks here. Qifrey is remembering Olruggio, the only person who doesn't care about his past, who sees him for who he is now. Olruggio, bright eyes and smiling, promising to always be his best friend. He is narrating how he got too entangled with Olruggio. He views Olruggio as the best thing in his life, and with the benefit of hindsight, he views himself as the worst thing for Olruggio.
We see Qifrey's outstretched hand, covered in tree growth. I believe this to be metaphorically. Because it's adult Qifrey's hand, but when we fully transition back to the present day, he has his hand clenched on his lap. No tree growth that we can see. He wants to reach out to Olruggio. Olruggio is sleeping beside him, but Qifrey has to keep him so far away.
The memory has affected him. It creeps through his body, emerging from his scars and threatening to take over. He has to take action. He tries one of his coping skills, physical discomfort. He wades into the cold lake, letting the water he hates surround him.
And then he moves on to mental anguish. It isn't enough to feel uncomfortable. He tortures himself to recall what happened that day. At the tower. The day he found out who he was. The day he ruined Olruggio's life.
Hey so I know we All Know This but I will NEVER be over a character being feverish and delirious and making No sense. I will never be over a glittery-eyed, shivering, distressed character weakly gripping another's arm and asking them questions they don't know the answer to, and probably don't mean anything at all. I will never be over characters calling out for people either long gone or right next to them, but unrecognizable in their delirium. I will never be over a character crying in frustration and fear over something in their head they can't explain to whoever is helping them, and all they can do in return is stroke their hair and shush them gently.
Note: The Red John case is extremely traumatic for Jane, which is why you’ll see it noted when he’s dealing with it.
S1E1- trips down the stairs, exhausted
S1E3- punched in the face, bloody nose
S1E7- emotional
S1E8- punched in the face
S1E9- out of breath
S1E10- talking about and flashbacks to time in mental hospital
S1E16- thrown by explosion, blinded, concussion, passes out, startled by loud noises, threatened at gunpoint, thrown around in minor car crashes, shot at
S1E18- at gunpoint, manhandled, almost pushed off building, begging
S1E23- emotional about Red John case, at gunpoint, expressing suicidal sentiments
S2E2- knife to throat
S2E6- handcuffed, arrested, in jail
S2E8- Red John case trauma, punched and hits head off wall
S2E10- hit in the head by a baseball, unconscious, dizzy, passes out again, falls over
S2E12- manhandled, thrown into a van, abducted, blindfolded, cuffed to a chair
S2E14- at gunpoint
S2E16- punched in the nose
S2E19- locked in a storage unit, arrested
S2E20- slapped in the face
S2E23- upset about Red John case, knocked out with blow to the head, abducted, bound to chair, confronted by Red John
S3E2- arrested, cuffed, slapped in the face, fake shot, emotional
S3E6- slapped in the face
S3E7- near explosion, cut on hand
S3E7- punched in the face
S3E8- kidnapped, at gunpoint, cuffed to pipe, scared, shot at, shocked repeatedly by cattle prod
S3E10- given excessive alcohol and low-grade electric shocks, bound to chair, helped to walk
S3E13- hostage in a bank robbery, at gunpoint
S3E15- held in chokehold, pain in ear from gunshot
S3E16- knocked to the ground, shotgun taped to neck, minor car accident
S3E17- slammed into a wall
S3E24- emotional
S4E1- in jail
S4E3- fake psychic reading, falls to floor
S4E4- shot at
S4E8- pushed into a wall, abducted, at gunpoint
S4E10- grabbed, drowned, CPR, defibrillated, coughing up water, in hospital, amnesia
S4E17- punched in the face
S4E19- punched in the face
S4E23- upset about Red John case, drunk, hungover, uncharacteristically violent behaviour
S4E24- excessive drinking, chased, beaten up, tased, arrested, black eye, beaten again, finger almost cut off, thrown to ground
S7E10- self-sacrifice, held hostage, at gunpoint, emotional
S7E11- arrested
S7E12- in a car crash, cut on head, abducted, bag over his head, cuffed and chained to table, faking psychic reading, near an explosion, coughing, helped to walk
gummygunk
prguitarman
gracieabrams
pixelskylines
discoholicmusic
yousharknotpass
areudirty
gamechangershow
