oof

alexis | 28 | michigan | she/her

[hisvulcanboyfriend]

we can be creatures together. if you want.

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[artemistheferal]

What is so addicting about Dr. John Carter to me is that we get a goofy, silly, charming, intelligent, haunted, compassionate, complicated, fun, baby-girl boyfriend character rolled into one absolutely drop dead gorgeous person. I am completely mesmerized by him. He’s so enchanting, I can’t even breathe.

[starcomct]

ER/John Carter text posts p9

[matthewrhys]

The fact that we've saved as many people as we have is a fucking miracle.

[randomthotshit]

Give this man an Emmy already

[omtai]

coming out of my cage and i been doing just bad. going back in my cage because i like my cage

[detailspecialist]

father!

THE PITT (2025-)

[lianedegrenade]

dogs are like i will lay down and huff sadly while staring balefully at you until you feel guilty and give me food. cats are like hey mom oh nice cereal don’t mind if i do! with their little criminal faces already in your fucking bowl

[funnytwittertweets]

[spikievstheuniverse]

1 year after Cas’s confession Dean is still a little clingy

[shiftythrifting]

[gallusrostromegalus]

For those of you that are wondering, please have one of the fiest pieces of radio comedy ever:

[jaynavajasso]

the first time i watched this i laughed so hard i nearly puked

[orwellsunderpants]

THIRD BASE

[lordkevington-deactivated-deact]

Since I was 8 and found out about this for the first time my family has always followed up on someone saying “I don’t know,” with shouting “THIRD BASE”

[j-sprrr]

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

That animatronic video is great for people who may not be as familiar with the game of baseball, too. The different positions, and such.

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

for those who dont really understand:

-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out

-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores

-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you "cannot retreat to home base" meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine

-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw

-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE

what a fucking sport yall

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

i also need everyone to know the Cubs won this game 2-1 making this the game winning run

[dailyflicks]

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS (2003) dir. Donald Petrie

[brainstatic]

Jurassic World did the Avatar thing where it made a gajillion dollars and left no cultural footprint whatsoever. Name your favorite Jurassic World character. What was your favorite line. It evaporated despite everyone seeing it.

[emptyjunior]

WRONG fav character was the extra that ran away from the pterodactyls with two margheritas in hand

[ssskeletonsoffun]

[thatsoneforamerica]

Gotta do everything myself around here

[otterology]

So, I went into this guy’s Wikipedia page, because he looked familiar. And there’s this big “Controversies” section, so I was preparing myself to read that even the margaritas/pterodactyls guy has sexually assaulted someone. But it turns out that he hasn’t. However, he:

- Has been sued for copyright infringement for a ‘blasphemous’ musical rendition of a monologue from the 1950s

- He was on a plane with U2′s Bono and his family, and the plane was shot by the Jamaican police, who believed they were smuggling marijuana. He wrote a song about the incident.

- He’s actually a singer, and his better known song in called MARGARITAVILLE. He also owns the Margaritaville Cafe restaurant chain. And has licensed Margaritaville Tequila, Margaritaville Footwear, and a Margaritaville Foods. He owns the Margaritaville Casino, has released a “Margaritaville Online” game, and he wrote and starred in a musical called “Escape to Margaritaville”

- He also wrote a song called “Math Suks”, which was condemned by the US National Council of Teachers of Mathematics for its alleged negative effect on children’s education. 

- He was thrown out of a basketball game he was watching for using blasphemous language in front of kids.

- And he was detained by French customs for allegedly carrying over 100 pills of ecstasy. Although he was released after paying a fine, and, according to him, the pills were a B-vitamin supplement.

So, yeah, that was refreshing controversies section-wise, but now I don’t know what to do with all that information.

[backyardbob01]

Maybe its my age, but i’m a little concerned that the fact he is a singer and wrote Margaritaville wasn’t prior knowledge and is considered a controversy

[steelblaidd]

☝️

Beach, booze, Buffett.

[alexseanchai]

Jimmy Buffett plays the margarita guy in Jurassic World because his most famous song is “Margaritaville” and this is therefore hilarious, I thought

[kvothe-kingkiller]

absolutely obsessed with jimmy buffett being called “this guy”

[officiallordvetinari]

Love the suggestion that the song and brand Margarativille are mentioned in passing on the Wikipedia page for uncredited Jurassic World extra Jimmy Buffett

[theswordwizard]

reading the first half of the comments like

[swirlypinkswirl]

My thoughts exactly!

[ramilicious]

This is such a special night for me, both my siblings are here and I am so proud of them.

Rami Malek hosting SNL, October 16, 2021

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[mrmeriwether]

I don't know that I've ever seen someone make the Aardman Grimace in real life.

Truly a masterclass in harrowingly strained enthusiasm!

[mattefier-deactivated20221118]

[disney-rapunzel-merida-vanellope]

[makeawishitsadream]

This is one of the best running gags in cinematic history