you are a quizzard, harry
description: you are invited to a sidemen pub quiz
pairing: harry lewis (w2s) x fem!reader
ib: this by @girlwnomoney
"ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another sidemen pub quiz!" simon says to the camera, "today we have bought in some new participants - our beautiful wives." the room erupts in applause. "okay let's introduce our teams for today."
"we have went for 'sherlock homies'" josh says, his team being him, freya and chris. the room giggles a little.
ethan, faith and freezy are next, "we are called 'www' because we are white, white and white" ethan says, laughing.
harry, you and arthur are the next team, "we are named 'the quizzards of oz.'" harry says, making everyone laugh.
"we are called 'simon's lovers'" jj says, his team being him, talia and deji, to which simon says, "i understand jj and deji but how is talia fitting into that category." and earns a glare from talia.
"we are called the 'winning team' because we are gonna win this thing." tobi says, his team has him, becky and george.
"ok, so i think 'the quizzards of oz' is the best name and hence your gets the first point of the game, and also you get to make the first rule." simon says and your team cheer while the others groan.
"so the first rule is that whenever arthur raises his hand everyone must follow suit or else they'll have to drink." harry announces.
"great let's get started with the first round! i will ask you six questions on geography and you will have 10 seconds to write down your answer for each question." simon says and starts saying the questions, " 1) name two countries that has the letter 'x' in it. 2) how tall is the mount everest, closest answer wins. 3) what is the tallest mountain in africa. 4) what is the capital of laos. 5) what rocks are made due to the cooling of lava. 6) what is the only ocean named after a country."
when the first question is announced and you answer immediately, "mexico and luxemberg." you keep your voice low so that others don't hear.
"yes! you genius." harry exclaims, kissing your cheek.
"i feel like i am third wheeling already." arthur says, rolling his eyes fondly, causing you to blush.
"mount everest is approximately 29000 feet tall. mount kilimanjaro is the tallest mountain in africa. vientiane is the capital of laos. igneous rocks are made of lava, and indian ocean is the only ocean named after a country." you answer quickly, both harry and arthur stare at you like you have grown 10 heads. "what?" you question, your eyebrows knitting together.
"you are so smart." arthur says, his voice filled with surprise.
"i am so turned on right now." harry says, seriously, not even trying to joke.
"harry!" you exclaim, making both him and arthur laugh.
"that was really impressive, y/n." arthur comments.
"nah, it wasn't all that." you say, brushing off the compliment.
"darling, you literally might have cooked josh zerkaa." harry says, giving josh a cheeky grinning which results in a confused look from josh.
your team won the first round, with six points, ethan's team came last and they made a rule that everybody must drink from their left hand else they will have to drink.
"next round is a bonus round, a member from each team will have to come up on the stage." everyone sends one member, arthur decides to go from your team with chris, frezzy, deji and tobi. "okay, so this round, everyone will have to do keepie ups for a minute, the person who does the most in a minute will get a point." chris wins the round and his team gets a point.
"y/n!" ethan screams your name, making you slip the drink in your hand. "right hand drinking!" he exclaims. "that's a shot, simon!!!"
"unfortunately, that's a shot for you, y/n." simon tells you and you groan.
"i don't want to do it." you say to harry and give him a little pout, harry sighs and takes a shot on behalf of you.
"hey! harry that's not allowed." ethan says, "you can't do a shot for her."
"why not, mate?" harry asks, already downing your shot.
"simon, that isn't allow." ethan complains.
"if he wants to do a shot on behalf of her, he totally can." simon says, shrugging his shoulder, at which ethan screams 'simp' to harry.
"so does that mean you would do a shot for me too?" arthur says, teasingly.
"are you just as pretty, smart and wonderful as her? no, you aren't, so i am not doing a shot for you." harry tells him, making arthur gasp dramatically.
"okay, our next round is english round, i will ask you guys six questions and you will have 10 seconds for each of them." simon says and then read out the question, "1. name three shakespeare plays. 2. who wrote 'pride and prejudice'. 3. what is the only english word ending with 'mt'. 4. what word phonetically imitates, resembles, or suggests a sound that it refers to. 5. what punctuation is used to indicate ownership or belonging. 6. how many lines are in a sonnet."
"what the hell are these questions?" arthur says from beside you.
"yeah, baby, this is your field." harry tells you.
"ok fine." you start, "romeo and juliet, macbeth, and merchant of venice are three shakespeare plays. obviously, jane austen wrote pride and prejudice."
"obviously." both arthur and harry say, sarcastically, making you laugh.
"dreamt is the only english word that ends with mt. onomatopoeia is the word that imitates sounds. apostrophe is used to indicate belonging, and a sonnet has 14 lines." you tell them, both of them grinning really hard, arthur because he knows you guys are going to win and harry because he is incredibly proud of you.
"yoooo mrs. wroetoshaw, you gotta help us with this." ethan says from across the room.
"nah, mate, she ain't helping." harry says, "figure it out yourself."
"come on, bog, share her with us." ethan teases.
"fuck off, mate, i am not sharing." harry says and pulls your chair closer to him, making you giggle.
your team wins again and simon calls up one member from each team to compete in a challenge, harry, ethan, josh, jj and george. "okay so this is going to be golf challenge. each person will get one try to shoot the ball as far as they could, the furtherest wins."
everyone but harry groans, "simon, harry's going to win this, mate." ethan says.
"you don't know that. you might win." simon says, smiling to himself.
"what do you mean?!" ethan exclaims. "look at these strong arms and this huge biceps, mate." he says, squeezing harry's arms, making the room laugh.
as ethan predicted, harry wins easily with a difference of 100 yards between him and josh, who came second. your team scores 3 points that round. "okay, so jj's team is last currently." simon says, laughing at jj, deji and talia.
"that's because the two of them won't listen to me!" talia says, annoyed by jj and deji, "i got all the answers correct but jj won't put them down correctly."
the room laughs, "well, your team sucks." simon says, laughing at her. "but since you are last, you get to make one rule."
"our rule is if you call anyone in the this room by their most popular name then you do a shot." jj says.
"what do you mean by 'most popular name'?" simon asks for clarification.
"like you can't call me jj or ksi." jj clears up and the room agrees.
"okay so next round is a price round. i will show you guys a number of items and you will have to write down it's price the closest price in the room wins a point and the item." simon explains. "okay so the first item is a cheese grater." simon holds up a cheese grater.
"oh that's 45 pounds easily." harry says, making you and arthur gasp.
"45 pounds?!" you exclaim, "haz, you have lost your mind."
"what?" harry says, confused.
"simon." josh announces from he seat. "she just called him by his name." he says point towards you and harry.
"no, i did not." you say in defensive tone. "i called him 'haz' no one calls him 'haz'."
"to be fair, nobody calls him haz but her." simon agrees with you.
"yeah, josh, you fucking snitch." harry sass.
"you called him by his name." the room almost exclaims together. your team face plam and harry is forced to take a shot.
you put down 7 pounds for the cheese grater and simon shows the next item, "okay now we have an iphone 17 air." your team put down 800 pounds for it, the next four items are - an orange, a brikin bag, a piece of italian bach's hair, and a bottle of vodka. josh's team wins that round and yours come second.
"okay, so the people who hasn't participated in a bonus challenge will have to come up now." simon announces, you and the rest of the girls make your way up. "okay so this is a three round blindfold challenge. two people will be eliminated in the first round, then one will be eliminated in the second, and the person who wins the last round will win 3 points for their team." simon explains.
for the first round you were tasked to pour 300ml of orange juice in a glass. becky and faith are the first ones to be eliminated with both of them overfilling their glasses. the next round, you are supposed the make a sandwich blindfolded. freya is the one that is eliminated this round since she missed a few ingredients.
"okay, so for our final round, talia and y/n will have to decorate a cake blindfolded." simon announces, making you and talia groan. "the teams which are eliminated will decide the winner for this round." you try your hardest to make the cake look pretty but that was proven to be difficult since you are not able to look at the cake. luckily, talia didn't do too great either. "well done both of you, these cakes are very well decorated." simon says saractically. "okay, guys you need to vote now, write your answers on the whiteboard and reveal it together."
"okay, before you all start voting." jj interrupts, "be very logically about this, y/n's team is already leading, if they win this one too they will win easily."
"hey, hey, hey, you cannot manipulate the jury like that." harry says, sounding offended. "and my wife worked really hard on that cake, she deserves to win."
"well, so did talia." jj argues.
"nah, not as much as y/n." harry says, making the room laugh. the room votes for talia's cake to win but you still get one point for second position. "fuck you lot, she worked really hard on that." harry says, offend on your behalf.
"it's okay, haz." you say, chuckling.
"no, these ungrateful bastards don't appreciate you enough." he says, still frowning, making you laugh harder.
"okay, before we wind up and i announce the scores, one person from each team had a secret challenge, let's find out if they completed it." simon says, pointing to deji to start.
"i had to defeat three people in rock paper scissors, and i did finish it." deji says, and earns a point for this team.
"i had to go up to three people and tell them today's temperature." josh says, and earns a point.
"i had to take a shot with a person from each team and i did it with all the girls." becky says and earns her team a point.
"okay so mine was to criticise one thing about the female member in each team, but i wasn't able to complete it since i am too scared of bog fighting me for insulting his missus." frezzy says, making the room laugh.
"i had to kiss a person three times and i kissed y/n three times." harry says, proudly.
"pretty sure it was more than three times but i will let you have it." simon teases him, "okay so our winners today with 21 points is 'the quizzards of oz'! you guys each win a grand!" simon announces making you guys cheer. "with that we wrap up the video, thank you so much for watching, see you lot next time, bye!"