Best Boy

"Sweetie. Pumpkin. I promise I'm being extremely literal. What you're doing is work, you deserve a reward." Swerved into annoyance for part of that, but they smiled again by the end.

And yes, they knew he wanted the hellhound, but if he wasn't going to be completely honest about it, they were going to dangle it over his head a little.

"Requests? Ooh...curly hair, pretty voice, if you can swing it. But don't worry, I'm not feeling picky." They have more desires than that, sure, but they weren't feeling like sharing those fun facts about their personality so easily. Not when Miles was continuously emphasizing distance between them. Annoying. Made them want to squeeze him.

Miles really wanted to argue that there was a difference between doing work and working for someone BUT he was a good boy and did want to worm his way back into the Sin's good graces, so, he would hold his tongue. "Of course, sorry."

He would give a brief pause at the request, unsure it was his own ego that made him think Envy wanted someone somewhat similar to Miles, or, if that was actually what the Sin was vaguely asking for. Either way, "I'll try to get you what you want, but I can't promise."

Gave a slight wave before he was off again, gone for almost twice as long, before stumbling back once again, awkwardly carrying the unconscious body of a blond, curly hair twink, and both equally looking a little worse for wear. Busted lips, mussed up hair, what looked like the beginnings of a gnarly black eye, dried blood from a nosebleed... Neither of them looked great.

"I think two people might be my limit today." Huffed as he unceremoniously dumped blondie on the floor.

Envy knows an act when they see one, but they wouldn't call him out. "Oh, definitely. Their care is much like a regular dog, but not just anyone in Hell gets access to hellhounds. Certainly not mortals like yourself...but if you work for me, you should be the Envy of the neighborhood, shouldn't you?"

They waved it off again, resting their chin in their hand. "But if that's not what you want...well, why don't you think it over while you get me another soul or two?"

He would tut, not quite liking the wording Envy chose there. "I'm already 'working' for someone, so I can't technically work for you, but I can do you some favours, maybe do some... contract work, so to speak." He would shrug, was happy to do whatever for the Sin, but couldn't label it like that, lest Tzed get jealous or something.

"Mhh." He had already all but said yes to the hellhound! But, find, he wouldn't nitpick or look a possible gift horse in the mouth. "I think I can manage another one for you. Got any requests?"

Listen, don’t tell Miles, but he can have sex for free. Anyways, they figured he might like something he can’t get from anyone else. “Oh, you mean you don’t like dogs anymore? That’s a shame.”

Envy sat back down, because they were STILL feeling pretty terrible, one soul does not a healing from Lucifer’s hammer make! But they weren’t one to rush a guy.

“I have a spare hellhound looking for a new master, but if that’s not your style, I suppose I can figure something else out. Plain cash seems a bit…” they made a face, then shrugged. “But if there’s nothing else you’re excited by, I guess that’ll have to do.”

"Dogs are fine, I guess, but..." He had already had this conversation with Lark! Pets shouldn't have pets, even if it would be sorta cool or nice to have one, Miles couldn't.

He would perk up at the mention of a hellhound though, but, would clear his throat and try to tone it down. Didn't want to seem too keen, so, he would school himself and loft a shoulder. "A hellhound is a little different from just a regular dog, y'know. And that's not really something money can buy..."

A hellhound?? Those things were sturdy! A status symbol! He wanted that!!!

"Anything?" Envy got to their feet, briefly swaying unsteadily, before they regained their balance and moved closer. Then circled around him, squinting and looking real hard at him, like they were searching for something. Quickly plucked a hair from his head, and put it in their mouth, tapping their chin thoughtfully.

"...You want a dog?" Lark wanted to get him a dog. Now Envy will offer to get him a dog and undermine that. You want a dog?

He would shrug in response. He didn't really have the highest of expectations. Money or some sort of generic Cool And Expensive material goods. Maybe sex. Envy could shapeshift after all, and he wasn't above asking for Henry Cavill dressed as Geralt...

Got a bit distracted for a moment there, blinking once he realised Envy was circling him, then, wincing as a single hair was snagged, "Hey-!" Huffed and scrunched his face up when they ate the hair. Gross.

Then, stared. Hard. Brows furrowed deeply as his mouth hung slightly open. "A dog? Why the fuck would I want a dog?" Why did people keep trying to give him dogs??

Envy has a real toxic valuing of poker faces. You should be good at it so it's more prestigious when they cause you to break it. Actually, just make the faces they want you to make. They're not a control freak, everything they desire is perfectly reasonable.

Miles' flinching was cute. So jumpy. Poor baby. They weren't going to push him too hard though, had to be a little respectful if they wanted to get and keep somebody under their thumb. Envy sat cross-legged, back straight for the moment, be just a touch more formal, so Miles wouldn't feel like he was truly being used too casually. Have a little dignity, as well.

"Well, what do you want? Or do I have to guess?" Envy brushed a hand through their hair, and finding it a mess, shapeshifted slowly until it was back into carefully maintained curls. There we go. "You're doing me a real favor, Miles. I'd hardly ask you to work this hard for free."

He would actually roll his eyes when asked that. He shouldn't have been too surprised; Infernal folk were better at providing what was asked of them, rather than coming up with something on their own. Miles would draw in a breath that would make his cheeks puff up before he exhaled between only slightly parted lips.

"I don't know. Anything's fine, I guess." He knew, in that latter half, that Envy was trying to butter him up. Miles didn't mind too much, but he did have the feeling that being asked for favours might become commonplace with the Sin.

You should always be concerned about what Envy considers fun; it's rarely anything good. But hey, maybe you'll be surprised this go around!

"You need to learn to control your face, sweetie." When he scrunched at them. But they didn't bother to get up and really give him trouble about it. Just rolled their eyes and waved him off when he said sit tight. Yeah, yeah. Let them wallow now.

When he finally arrived back, they were flat on their back on the floor, just being a puddle. Literally being a puddle. They reformed and picked their head up to grin at him. "Oh, you work fast, sweetie! Let me take that off your hands."

With a burst of speed unlike their previous lethargic puddling, Envy took hold of the offering, and teleported him away, leaving Miles alone. It was a good ten minutes or so before they returned, looking a lot more solid and fairly pleased. Still, they sat back down right where they were before. "Could I trouble you for another?"

Listen... He had a better poker face than his goodie-two-shoes double. Which wasn't saying a lot, but it wasn't that bad! So, he would merely huff in response before trying to smooth his expression out.

If Envy was literally one rung lower on the status ladder, Miles would have told them to fuck off and get their own souls. Well, maybe two or three rungs...

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great, I-" Before he could finish (but not before he flinched at the sudden movement), and before the poor, unlucky, drunken son of a bitch he had brought with him could even stumble over the words 'who's your friend?' the two were both gone. Miles would blink at the now empty space around him before his shoulders slumped with a huff.

The only reason he stuck around was because Envy had said they were after more souls, and, it wasn't like Miles was busy right now...

That said, he would flinch again at Envy's return before watching them with idle interest for a moment, "What's actually in this for me again? Don't get me wrong or anything, I'll do it, I just wanna know if I'm getting anything outta this."

“Aww, don’t look so disappointed. We can have a little fun after.” Miles should thank them for being a tease; right now they’re at risk of getting carried away if they were to get spicy with him.

Envy sighed and rubbed their head, which moved under their touch like putty. Fuck, what they wouldn’t give for a proper full-body massage right now. Or just to drop to the ground and be plants. Rot away and grow back. Slow way to solve their problem.

No, no. They need to refuel properly. “Oh, however many you find reasonable for a day’s work. You know your limits better than I do, sweetie. But hopefully that’ll change before long.” Envy squeezed Miles’ shoulders before releasing him, dropping to the ground to sit in a ragdoll heap. Too fucking tired to make that any sexier than the implication. That’s why souls first.

He did appreciate the promise of fun later. That said, he still didn't know Envy all that well and was a little concerned by what they might consider 'fun'. Oh well, at least it would probably be entertaining and kill some time.

As Envy rubbed at their head, Miles' face scrunched up as he noticed how pliable their form was. Ew. Gross. Didn't voice that, wouldn't, so, would merely nod. "Eh, I can probably get you two, maybe three..."

Blinked as they just flopped to the floor. Wow. They sure were having A Time. It sort of made him uncomfortable, Infernal folk didn't typically show themselves being so... sluggish, outside of the Sloth aligned ones.

"Right, you uh. Sit tight. I'll be back soonish."

He slipped away for about two or so hours before returning with a very drunk, very jock-looking twenty-something, hanging off him, pawing at the Miles' clothes and mouth latched to his neck. Miles seemed less than thrilled about the entire situation.

"You wanna take it from here, or...?"

This is intimidating to you?? They love it. So great. They're basically at 1HP right now and it's making them SCARIER. Excellent. It'd be embarrassing if he caught on that they were falling apart at the seams right now.

Envy continued to grin and started running fingers through Miles' hair. So pretty, so handsome. "Oooh....decisions decisions...Actually, why not both?" Envy gripped his hair and pulled his head back, squinting at his neck.

They COULD just eat him, in theory. Wouldn't really get them much, literally eating a man isn't typically their hottest ticket to regaining power and regenerating themself. But like, it'd do a little something. But also, he's so prettyyyy, that'd be such a shame! Can't eat this one.

"I'm in a little bit of a bind." They released his hair and gently touched it up, making sure they didn't ruin his curls. "I need some souls. Can you bring me some souls? Is that something you do? Knock them out, drag them here...and I'll make the body go away. Eaaasy."

Not their best english, probably sounded a bit drunk, but like...listen, their head hurts something terrible. "I COULD just use yours, but...that'd be such a waste. I'm sure you can find me something a little more expendable, right?"

#envyisthepoison #((miles out here responding like envy was asking for a cup of sugar lmao

He really was a sucker for any and all attention, and a hand in his hair? Stop it, he'll melt! Though, when his hair was yanked, he would let out a little grunt, lips curling up wolfishly. You think the pet of a Fallen wasn't used to both? "Oh, you want my speciality, huh?"

Once the grip on his hair was released, he would pout a little, grumbling as Envy smoothed over the slight disarray they had caused, "Tease..." then blinked, slumping slightly. This was now the second Sin that had asked this of him. "Oh, that's it? I mean, sure, I can do that. How many are ya thinking?"

Assumed they were drunk but wasn't going to judge them for that, and snorted, "You could use mine, but do you really want to break the favourite toy of a Fallen? That'll just be a pain in the ass for everyone afterwards. That's not worth the hassle."

@wrathfulpup from x

"He-e-eyy sweetie," Envy slinked closer to Miles with an uneven, sluggish gait. They were human enough, from a distance...but the closer they got, the more clearly Wrong their appearance was. Their eyes were mismatched and misaligned, facial features almost appearing to melt off to one side. Additionally, their features slowly and unevenly morphed to match Miles' face as they approached him, but didn't quite hit the mark. It was only a subconscious mimicry, taking over less than half their face as they put a hand on his shoulder and leaned heavily into it.

"There you are...back from the dog house, how nice..." Good, good. It would have been problematic if they had to turn him human again themself.

"I'm soooooo sorry about that, I should really treat you nicer..." Envy put their arm the whole way around Miles' shoulders as they very nearly keeled over, using him to hold themself up. Still, they put a hand on his cheek, smiling with a mouth full of very inhuman fanglike teeth. "Look at you, so pretty..."

Miles would put on his most charming smile, like butter wouldn't melt, as Envy came towards him fully expecting to be antagonised or turned into something else. Though, as they drew closer, the smile would waiver. What was this? An intimidation tactic? It was sort of working.

"Yeah, yeah..." That was still a sore spot for him, but he wasn't about to pick a fight over something which was so trivial in the grand scheme of things.

He wasn't fussed about the invasion of personal space but would cock an eyebrow at the compliment. It was appreciated, as was the hand to his cheek, but regardless, he would snort, "I offer two services, fucking and fighting; which one are you after?"

CLEARLY, that's what this was about.