Garden of one @ssunspoiled - Tumblr Blog

I sat with a crying second grader today. (The age range is outside my wheelhouse but I was the most convenient adult.) He was crying, the other adults said, because his brother took a phone he was playing on. “Phone addicted,” everybody said. “If he would get up and play games with the other kids he wouldn’t be crying.”

He told me everyone lets his brother take things from him because his brother is younger, and doesn’t know better. He told me he doesn’t want to play because he’s tired, he has too many extracurriculars this summer and can’t get good sleep because “everyone in my camper is so loud when I’m trying to sleep.” He’s exhausted and only eight. His mom’s an acquaintance and told me she and the kid’s father are going through a separation — mom and four kids left the house to stay in a camper.

But people will seriously not listen to kids crying over seemingly minor things because on the surface it looks like a tantrum. If kids are given the space to articulate themselves they often will.

sandersstudies

I’ve found that if a child is capable of having a conversation (that is, old enough to speak and express themselves, not injured or upset so badly that they literally cannot stop crying, and not behaving violently), then 90% of the time their reason for being upset is legitimate, or at least understandable.

sharpasanaro

Please remember that this also applies to teenagers and preteens, they might be acting like a knowitall who doesn’t give a shit, or a first class jerk, but chances are fair they feel like shit for one reason or another and adults just chalk it up to teenage angst instead

subjectivecarnality

💖💖💖

ssunspoiled

There isnt any thing like it. Is there ✨

subjectivecarnality

what, physically feeling your vines tucked against my heart, wrapping around my spine, sliding under my skin until they're indistinguishable from my own sinew? or feeling the part of me inside you, the way you lean into the light and drink from me, the ways we can feel each other's thoughts (sometimes before we even recognize them in ourselves)? or the relief and joy it is to know that we will never have to be apart from each other even at a distance? how it feels like I'd been walking around in the dark before, perfectly capable of navigating it through touch alone, and then you came along and lit up my world with your brilliance, showed me not just what always existed in front of me that i'd been too blinded to notice, but also the possibilities I would not have considered?

No, I don't think there is anything like it 💖

#save #poetry #poetry..

sunsetcanopy

watching tolya and belle and eating popcorn about it

#save

Grief sits iin you as you work.fills the space the air used to be

It changes the thickness of it.

But tomine, you will always have some where to pour your grief. Even if it doesnt lessen the weight of it, i will be iin that place, shared. With you

ssunspoiled

So many so desperately hoping for where they ccan set the weight of responsibility down, with out compromising their quiet wants met

subjectivecarnality

I was going to point out the aspect of being known as a large part of it, but that does fall under wants and needs being met non? I think when someone is obsessed without knowing what those wants are, and therefore not really who the target of their obsession is even, it feels...hollow, sometimes. A fetish (sometimes) and an unfilled need on that side of things, too, but prone to being fueled and vindicated by denial rather than put off by it. I think it gets lost in the conversations here where our preferences lean toward risky at best, but someone who is self-proclaimed obsessed without knowing or caring about the actual wants and needs of the object of their obsession? That's incredibly dangerous and off-putting, yes

It's better all around anyway when the obsession is mutual and the wants and needs are being met on all sides because you can't imagine not wanting to give your love everything ✨️ Unfortunately that requires the work of actually getting to know someone with intention and letting them get to know you just as intentionally (the horror)

ssunspoiled

You are so astute in this, allways thinking on things, taking them in. The pain of obsessing for one who does not want you, aggainst the pain of to be idealized by one obsessing over only aan idea of you and then too against the pain of having feelings aimed by one you cannot reciprocate to.

#the feeling is sweet in between even pain though.even when it #isnt returned. that.That I think is oneof the sharpest pieces of it all

villainwithacrush

WHAT is even the point of mind controlling a hero if it doesn't feel good. if you can't make them like it. if they don't learn to want it.

villainwithacrush

like why even bother corrupting a hero if it's only temporary. at the very least when they ARE 'freed' by their teammates there should be a lingering sense of loss that culminates over time into them realizing they MISSED being at your command so they end up tracking you down, not to stop you but to beg you to enthrall them again so they can turn their brain off in a way that was blissful to them. just saying.