Game of the year
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Not today Justin
Xuebing Du
taylor price

Janaina Medeiros
will byers stan first human second

★
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
macklin celebrini has autism

pixel skylines
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
cherry valley forever
One Nice Bug Per Day

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies
Sade Olutola

JBB: An Artblog!

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@wreckingballofaggravation
Game of the year
Fuck ITU Online: There is No Such Thing as a Groupon Education
If you haven't heard of IT University Online (ITU), I can't blame you. There are thousands of training programs available online covering everything from cooking to video game design to fellatio, but ITU focuses on IT and other aspects of the field, such as how to use Twitter, save Microsoft Word documents, and so forth.
I wasn't looking for an online degree, but I was looking for the opportunity to expand my knowledge in the IT field - so when they showed up on Groupon, offering a $3000 savings bundle for only $99, I figured I'd be crazy not to jump on that deal. However, ITU has gone up and beyond their call of duty to lower my already low exceptions of them.
You'd Learn More From YouTube Tutorials: The sad truth of the matter is that not a single video offered through their program contains any useful amount of information. Not only that, but anything they mention that you need to know, they never go into detail about! You'd save yourself money, time, and the aggregation just by Googling or YouTube searching various IT keywords.
I shit you not, here is a painstakingly real example of the flow of most "informative" videos from these so-called professional instructors:
Hello. My Name is...
We are going to talk about this, but we will talk about this other thing, too, but at a later date.
Here's a personal antidote to make me seem relatable and not dead inside.
What was I talking about again?
Oh, to become certified, you need to know this, this, and this - but I'll never tell you about them.
In the next video, I'll further teach you more about my monotone voice.
Honestly, ITU's motto should be: "For $3000, we'll vaguely hint at things you might need to know to become certified, but we'll be damned if we ever teach you a thing!"
100% Refund Guaranteed (But You'll Die of Old Age Before You Get It): The first time I checked out some of ITU's (broken) social features, I noticed someone demanding a refund. That should have been a red flag, but I chalked it off as a rare occurrence. Then I noticed the guy again, and again, and again - all on different dates, sometimes weeks apart - still demanding his refund. Every time a staff member told him to use their customer support email to discussion the claim.
When I came to my senses and realized that ITU wasn't worth a dollar, let alone one hundred dollars, I emailed their customer support email, but after a week with no response, I had to send them another. I've worked IT before, I know how easy it is to get backed up and I didn't really expect an immediate response to begin with - but after a week, it's universally known that you won't ever receive a response. Most of the time, the second email will be responded to with an apology and finally set things in motion. Well, not this time. That second email was never responded to either.
That meant it’s time to use the phone and call their headquarters in New York. After calling, I almost instantly got ahold of someone who listened to my claim. She asked for my email address and sent me a form to fill out, which I completed and sent back while I was still on the phone with her. While waiting on it to arrive, she said that upon arrival the refund check would be sent out in a couple of days. This leads me directly into my next point.
ITU Is Not Afraid To Lie To You: I didn’t get my refund check within a couple days, or even a couple weeks. No, at the time of this post, going on nearly two months later, I still haven’t received it. After another two weeks of waiting, I called again. I vividly remember our exchange:
“Well, when we say a couple of days… it’s really a couple of weeks.”
“So you lied to me?”
“No.”
“Saying a couple days instead of a couple of weeks is the very textbook definition of a lie.”
“Well, you must have been confused. It’s ready to be sent out this week.”
Flash forward two more weeks. I once more gave them the benefit of the doubt, assuming the holiday could have delayed the shipment, but after two more weeks, it’s clear they lied again.
Today I called ITU, again. I was told that it’s, once more, ready to be shipped out within a couple of days. Once shipped, I should, in theory, receive it in up to 10 days. I know for a fact it doesn’t take 10 days (or even 5) for a letter sent from New York to arrive in Missouri - so I'm expecting another lie followed by a trip to small claims court.
Cartoons Parodying Teenage Youth Treat Customers With More Respect: I don’t give a shit about how bad your day is, I don’t care how much of a struggle life is for you, but I don’t even want you to give me any special treatment. All I want is the solution to whatever problem I’m having. Although, would it be too much to ask for customer service representatives that actually apologize for their fuck-ups?
Despite this near two month endeavor that shouldn’t have even taken longer than a week in the first place, I haven’t received a single apology. In most cases, I don’t care. When a burger looks like it was shit directly onto the bun by the fry cook, I make a mental note of it and carry on my way. All of life’s daily exchanges should be about results and nothing more, as far as I’m concerned.
However, when someone fucks up, I notice when they apologize or not. Like I said, I don’t usually care because in most cases the apology is over something too trivial to even bother with in the first place - but it’s mandatory for maintaining a positive public image. This is just another aspect of ITU that show they only care about legally scamming people out of money.
TL;DR: Don't fall for these Groupon-featured educational "scams." They are the online equivalent of ITT Tech and only exist to fuck you over. Oh, and even at full price, the program doesn't include the official exam. That'll be another $200-300 dollars per test attempt and a lovely drive out to a testing center. How's that for getting the shaft?
My life has effectively turned into the byproduct of a thousand self help books full of advice I've spent 25 years ignoring.
Check (Out) Your Privilege
Loser World of Warcraft Player Hits Level 90 Without Leaving Starting Zone Because He Has No Life
A World of Warcraft player hit the level cap without ever leaving the Pandaren starting zone and choosing a faction allegiance - just by collecting herbs. According to the in-game calculation system, this act took more than 170 real life days.
Naturally, because it's the Internet, several people have called him a plethora of tropes from an 80s movie with "nerd" in the title. However, none of these half-wits acknowledge the fact that it's possible to keep the game running while you do other daily tasks - like work, cooking non-Kraft dinners, and spending time with loved/hated ones. For fuck's sake, I leave Cookie Clicker running at all times whenever I'm at my computer. Does that mean I'm addicted or have some sort of disconnect from reality? Well, if you put aside the fact I actually get enjoyment out of Cookie Clicker, the answer is no.
Whenever a video is loading, I bet you have swapped tabs or windows to check your messages or play some Farmville. When waiting on your date to return from the can, I'm sure you made the time to rally some troops in Clash of Clans.
You all are guilty of such behavior. The only difference is he's getting recognition for it.
Hashtag Yes All Cats #yesallwomen #cats #yesallcats
This is not a paid product endorsement by PepsiCo, but I would totally allow them to buy me out in a heartbeat.
No one knows the struggle of being a cat.
The Past
We can choose to aspire greener pastures, inspired by the passions of yesteryear.
Instead of choosing to give up, to let it control us, to become fragmented beings.
We can choose to forget, to block our deepest desires, to be sheltered from pain.
We can choose to move forth, to a place unlike any other.
The power of choice is within us. But instead, we choose to ignore it.
[Photo Credit: Jason E. Powell]
Ghosts That Linger
Lingering ghosts, memories and experiences we cannot forget. They surround us at every aching second. They make us who we are.
Forgotten Ghosts
That sheet of corrugated cardboard served its purpose well. It was all but a means to prevent me from infecting the world through my delusions of artistry. It was only when I finished my project that I saw it for what it really was: A lingering reminder that we cannot prevent the marks we make on the world, no matter how hard we try.
Youtube Comments
It's like the entire Youtube community is a collective 10-year-old that just discovered The Marshall Mathers LP.
The Threat of Innocence
The Legacy of Goku wasn’t the best video game in the world, but at the age of 14, it seemed like the only game I had to have in my life. I was head first into everything Dragon Ball Z and the thought of a DBZ video game with role-playing elements excited me in a way no other game could.
Mario? No. I already had all of those. Sonic? They were just remakes of the games from the Sega Genesis. Most of the other titles in stock were sports games, and you don’t want to get me started on why I wouldn’t soil my GameBoy Advance with that smut.
When you’re waiting around the hospital for an undetermined amount of time, you need to go with a role-playing game. The worst thing that could happen is beating he game and then ending up alone with your thoughts and the realization that your grandfather was dying.
Fuck that.
Sometimes you need to escape from the harsh realities of the world. What better way to do that than kill aliens as a superhuman that shoots fire from his hands?
I was just about to destroy one of the main antagonists in the game. He killed my friends, so payback was going to be swift and unforgiving.
I franticly spammed the A button, in an attempt to skip the seemingly endless amounts of text-based dialogue. Pressing the button didn’t actually speed up the action, but it’s all I could do. It was either that or read.
Fuck that.
The final line of text was about to appear and the battle was going to start, I just knew it. I was so close…
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone standing in the doorway of the waiting room. “Great,” I thought to myself. “It’s probably someone with a kid that would ruin my epic battle with constant whining.”
When I realized the text stream was far from finished, I looked up to see who was there. He hadn’t moved or entered the room, I thought that was enough of a reason to remove my eyes from the game.
It was a cop. He had his back turned to the room, blocking the doorway but standing far enough from it to allow other people to enter. There must have been a criminal about to be escorted out of the hospital or maybe escorted in.
I was getting excited at the thought of a criminal entering the hospital in handcuffs. Maybe he’d be kicking and screaming. Maybe I’d catch a glance of some bullet wounds…
With my GameBoy now sitting firmly on my lap, I watched the hallway intently, waiting for the action. After several minutes of nothing, I went back to my game.
Finally, the moment I was waiting for had finally arrived. No, not the convict. I forgot all about that. It was time to fight the boss in the game.
Right after the battle started, I had a gut feeling that something more was going on with the cop. I paused the game and looked up. Much to my surprise, I saw an entire SWAT team staring back at me. I slowly raised my hand up and offered a wave, but they just stood there and stared back, completely emotionless.
I knew something was wrong. Really wrong.
I should have known it had something to do with me, but I turned my head back down to my game and tried to block out the negative imagery I had going on.
Was my grandpa dead?
Wait. That doesn’t even make sense.
Stupid Dustin.
If he died why would they have a SWAT team?
I’ve been playing a game, this can’t have nothing to do with me.
Oh, God. Does this involve my parents? Is one of them dead?
Fuck.
It as too much negativity for my young mind to handle, so I focused on my game instead. After all, what good would worrying do?
“Sir.”
Fuck.
Maybe they are talking to someone in the hallway.
It can’t be me.
Maybe if I hold my head down and play my game, everything will work out fine.
“Put the game down.”
He would be talking to me.
“What,” I stammered.
I sounded nervous. Shit, I was nervous. All of the cop shows I had watched taught me that sounding nervous makes you sound guilty in the eyes of the law.
“Did you make a phone call from that phone?”
The officer pointed to the corner of the room, opposite of where I was sitting.
I looked up, responded with a simple “No,” and then turned my attention back to my game.
The batteries had died.
“Well, someone made a phone call from that phone. Was anyone else in this room with you?”
I had to think for a minute. A couple of boys left as I was entering, but they didn’t really look like they were up to no good.
“Uh, no. I’ve been the only one in here. I mean, there were a couple of kids leaving as I entered.”
“What did they look like?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I think one had an orange vest on.”
I was so focused on playing my game; I hadn’t even looked up since I left my grandfather’s room. I thought he was wearing orange, but that’s all I caught out of my peripheral vision. It could have been neon pink. Hell, it could have been a girl with four legs for all I know.
“We didn’t see anyone matching that description on the premises. And the girl at the front desk said the call came from this phone.”
I hung my head, looking at my black game screen. I pretended to play my game while thinking of something to say, with the buttons clicking loudly with nothing but the silence of the SWAT team watching me.
“What’s this all about?”
“You don’t know?”
“What’s so important about that phone call?”
“Kid, someone in this room made a bomb threat.”
Fuck.
Oh, shit. The anxiety I previously hand was upgraded to a biohazard level.
Immediately, I was in tears.
“It wasn’t me!”
I don’t know why my response was to immediately deny doing it and break down in tears. At that point, I wasn’t able to think clearly. I knew I was going to get blamed for it. It was post 9/11, someone made a bomb threat in the empty room I was occupying, and I was an unsupervised teenager.
You do the math.
I may have been failing my math class, but even I knew that equation…
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Disclaimer: This piece of writing was originally submitted for an English writing assignment, which earned an A. However, there were a couple minor mistakes that needed to be ironed out to turn it into an 100%. This is the revised, 100% version. It's based on true events that occurred in my life.
Time is Figurative
I have always struggled with the concept of time. It’s a simple notion, sure, but one that complicates my daily life. The abstraction boils down to four key points.
There is never enough time to work.
There is never enough time to play.
There is never enough time to love.
There is never enough time to live.
Those four points are the bane of my existence, the source of more anxiety than you could ever dream of experiencing. Hell, maybe you do dream of them every night. Or maybe, just like myself, you’re incapable of dreaming, and instead are forced to live with such uncontrollable thoughts of time and its effect on the psyche.
Maybe one day I’ll find a solution, a way to live happily with those four nails in the coffin we call life. Maybe I can’t do it on my own. Maybe it’s a group effort. Maybe it’s not a matter of time at all, but more of a matter of timing.
Maybe, but there is not enough time to commit to such delusions of self-improvement.
A Contemporary Shit for a Contemporary Shithole
You know that feeling you get when you gently loosen up your anal sphincter in anticipation of letting out a nice, slow-leaking fart, only to find yourself running for the bathroom with warm, chocholaty goodness racing down your legs mere seconds later? Of course you do. I like to think that’s who I am. I’m the fart. The wettest fart of them all.
My name is Dustin Triplett. And I’m going to invade your life in the most obtrusive ways imaginable. Welcome to my Tumblr.