Slow Hands

Wren Cassidy | 20 | RHO LAMDA ALPHA Slow, slow hands Like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry No, no chance That I'm leaving here without you on me I, I know Yeah, I already know that there ain't no stopping Your plans and those Slow hands

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Hi everyone I’ll be on in a bit! Hayden will get her para reply (Finally) and Connor will have his started (Finally.)

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connorwwalker:

Connor giggles brightly, “Firstly, I don’t think there’s a person on earth who could take your fist daily. Not that I’m not willing to try, but,” he waves a hand, “They’re big. Anyway,” he laughs, “As a dildo connoisseur, let me tell you, it’s not something you leave in bushes. It was probably some kids who think it’s hilarious to just throw upwards of fifty bucks work of dildo out on the street.”

“Well that’s a sad life, what if someone would’ve loved that dildo? I should take it home and sterilize it and then sell it! You could make a shit ton of money Connor and It’ll be good as new. Bathe it in bleach and alcohol. It’ll be completely fine.”

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sstardustnbones:

❝why would you sell a used dildo on ebay?❞

“Well I mean nobody needs to know it’s used. That would just be sad. If you sterilize it, it’s good as the day they bought it.”

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quinn-vega:

“You found a dildo over there, didn’t you? Because if you didn’t I’m going to want to know why you’re thinking of there being a hude ass dildo in the bush.” Quinn asked him with a raised eyebrow. “If it’s that big, that’s pretty huge. I wouldn’t even want one that big. I’d just throw it away.  Who knows how long it’s been there…”

“I may have actually found said dildo, yes.” Wren laughed, nodding his head. “I think it’s kinda funny though, you know? Someone can actually fit this inside themselves without a problem and now they’re missing it. That’s pretty sad.”

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kcndallm:

“Dude, just throw that shit in the trash. You don’t know what that things been through if it’s in the bushes. I mean, you can infer but you don’t know the freaky shit it had to be a part of,” he frowned, “also, you’re a terrible liar, you know that.”

“Well but what if it’s just a lonely librarians that she uses for when she is lonely and in need of some loving. That could be a thing, you know. It could actually be a thing that happened.”

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connorwwalker:

“That sounds very theoretical and I totally believe you,” Connor laughs, “Honestly, I’d leave it. But I’m fucking impressed by whoever it belongs to.”

“What if they’re missing their prized dildo? That could be an essential part of their collection you know. It could be pretty important when you think about it. What if it’s one they use everyday and it’s missing?”  

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tfchloee:

“Give it to me.”

“Let me get this straight- you want the huge dildo for yourself?”

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wtfalexx:

“Wren. Did you find a monster dildo in a bush?”

“I mean- I possibly did. I think the proper term though is gigantic dildo.”

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yaboipidge:

     “Well if I had happened to find a monster, massive dildo in the bushes, I –hypothetically of course–would find some duck tape and tape it to the hood of someones car. Though, of course, this is all hypothetical. I might even have some hypothetical duct tape for us to pull this hypothetical plan.”

“That’s actually a pretty awesome idea, the look on their face when they find it taped to their car. I’m totally in by the way, you got the tape and I got the dildo. Lets make this happen.”

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astridpls:

“Would you leave your number on there for them to call you? I don’t know how well that would fly hey look at this giant dildo I plastered all over campus” she said shaking her head “I would be way too embarrassed to call infor my lost massive dildo, I bet it belongs to a professor though”

“Shit I wouldn’t be embarrassed. If my girl was missing a dildo, I’d be walking my ass to get it for her.” Wren shrugged, a smirk forming on his lips. “What’s so wrong with dildos anyway? I feel like everyone goes ew gross a dildo, yet they’re just a toy.”

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finnslawrence:

“I mean, hypothetically…–I’ve got a lot of questions about this and I’m not sure if I want to know the answers or not. Why did somebody think that was a good idea? Y’know, this is a Jurassic Park situation: Sciences were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should create a monster dildo,” He replied, scratching the back of his head. “Maybe the cops can go CSI: NY on it and kink shame the person.”

“I mean I’m not sure why they left it there if that’s the question. Though I do think I’m the type of curious that needs to find out information on why. Why would you kink shame someone for using a dildo? Dildo’s are fucking amazing, I don’t care what anyone says.”

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daniellecoleman:

Danielle furrowed her eyebrows at the boy. “I definitely think you should leave it alone and act like you never saw that.”

“Well but what if someone is missing their dildo and I just found one that they’d been missing for weeks? That is a sad thought you know. Personally If It was me I’d be pretty fucking sad that someone didn’t tell me they found it.”

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haydenakennedy:

“First of all, I do not believe you that this is strictly hypothetical. Second of all, I am a little upset that you didn’t at least take a photo of it. Third of all, I hope you left it. Could’ve been some homeless person’s good time, you know?”

“It was totally a hypothetical question Hay, you need to learn to listen to me I swear. Anyway- I did wind up leaving it only because I didn’t know who had used it. It could’ve even been used to murder someone and I just handled a murder weapon.”

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Okay WOW that’s a lot of replies but I will get to all of them right now including the para. If you would like to plot let me know.

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astridpls:

“I don’t think I can safely say pick it up because you have to assume its been used and why in the world would you want to be handling a dildo thats been in god knows who, have you ever seen Chewing Gum on Netflix? They got a bunch of dildos from this person house and they ended up selling them to a lot of old ladies and it was WILD but you should wash it at least and after sell it”

“Well I mean I could always get some gloves to pick it up, that way I myself am not personally handling it. What if that person really wants their dildo back though? I should definitely put up a sign that says lost but found. I found your gigantic monster sized dildo.”

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“This is all hypothetical, I swear… But, say I found a monster dildo in those bushes over there… Like, huge… The size of my arm… What would you suggest I do? Leave it? Take it & sell it on eBay? Call the cops? Again, hypothetical… Totally not a real situation that is plaguing my mind right now.”

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Guess who’s back? I’m going to get caught up on replies after getting caught up on the main.