wren

18 | writer | she/her spencer reid enthusiast

[wrenreid]

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[wrenreid]

hey lol

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

Part Twenty-Seven

My freshman year of high school, I was put into a junior level government class. I was only in there because it was the only class that fit into my schedule other than ag classes I couldn’t have been less interested in. I didn’t talk much in the class because everyone was older than me, and they thought I was a kiss up because i always made good grades. I didn’t particularly love the class, but of course, I still did my work and did it well.

Toward the end of the year, we did a mock trial. We drew for positions within the trial, mr flynn the judge. I drew attorney.

The case was a business lawsuit, I was the lawyer who was going against the business for their supposed cruel acts.

Mr. Flynn told us that we would receive extra credit if we dressed up, so me, a fourteen year old with a desperate need for academic validation, borrowed one of my mother’s pencil skirts and a suit jacket from my dad. I looked like a mini Aaron Hotchner, even my mom said so.

I remember preparing for the trial for at least a week, being a little excited about the project. I wanted to win the case, especially since I was, as I believed, on the right side of the law.

My opposing attorney was Noah Kincaid. He was a smart but cocky kid who also cared about winning the trial.

I remember standing up from my desk when is was my turn to ask questions to the kid under oath. I felt as though I had stepped into myself for the first time. It was just a mock trial that lasted half an hour, but I felt proud and confident. I was good at it.

Mr. Flynn pulled me aside after class and told me I should consider law school in the future. He said, and I quote, “The way you handled yourself was the most confident and concise I’ve ever seen in a student. You surprised me, Hotchner.”

I didn’t take it to offense that he said my skills surprised him. In his defense, he’d only heard me talk when I turned in a paper or answered a question, which the latter was usually rare since I didn’t particularly like to “show off” in front of juniors who already thought I was a kiss ass.

I did, however, take his first sentence as a compliment. I was confident and my statements and questions were concise.

I smiled, nodded, thanked him, then left. A lawyer was not on my top five career choices at the time. I didn’t want people to think I was doing it because of my father. I was definitely not. But after some research and a few binge watches of crime shows, I knew I actually did want to be an attorney. Not because of my father but almost in spite of him.

My dad quit his job as a lawyer and took the job Agent Gideon offered him at the BAU. I resented him for it, still do, but that’s besides the point. He wasn’t around much in my most influential years, and at fourteen, I decided I would be a lawyer, and if I happened to have a family, I wouldn’t take a new job that prevented me from being there for them.

So now, I’m currently four weeks away from grad school and three years away from the BAR. And I’m going to rock the shit out of them both. Because I can and because I’m determined. It’s also way less about my unresolved daddy issues now than it was in high school and even some of college, it’s a dream of mine.

Spencer has made it his mission to make sure I enjoy the last month of summer as much as I can. He’s taken me out on a million dates like picnics, movies, late night drives around the city and out into the country, and more every chance he gets between cases.

At least now we don’t have to sneak around and lie about our relationship. Though I was prepared to keep this from my dad for however long necessary, I’m pretty glad we accidentally outed ourselves at my graduation dinner.

My dad cooked a big meal for me, some family, friends, and we invited the team too. Spencer and I didn’t even sit near each other. We barely talked the whole dinner just to be safe.

But as love-sick, horny couples do, when we saw an opportunity to take a minute alone, we did just that.

Having your father catch you making out with a guy will never not be awkward, but when the guy happens to be his employee, it’s fucking weird.

Though, I will say, the look on his face was priceless. I’ve hardly seen him have that much emotion on his face.

After a very awkward, flushed-face, and stuttered explanation from Spencer and me, we were able to calm my father down. He was a lot more excepting than I expected; I think he finally realized he can’t dictate my life, and he saw how happy we are together.

The rest of that dinner consisted of a lot of teasing from Derek Morgan, my brother being grossed out by me having a boyfriend, and everyone asking about law school.

I’m excited and anxious to start the rest of my life as a law student. I’ve prepared for this for nearly 8 years now, and I’m getting closer and closer to my dream career. It’s terrifyingly exciting. I’m grateful to have my family and Spencer by my side through all of this.

hey, so this is it for this story! this is also most likely it for my fanfiction in general.

and for a little life update: i started college a month ago, and i’m adjusting to my new life which has been interesting and scary and fun. im also in a healthy relationship and have been for a while which has been pretty amazing. i hope all my mutuals/ readers are doing well. thank you guys for sticking around :)

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contains: sexual intercourse

Part Twenty-Six

Being left in bed naked and alone was not exactly how I pictured my first time to end, but I know it wasn’t personal. He left because he had to. Because my father might take his glock out and act irrationally if he sees his favorite agent with his only daughter. I’m not saying he’d actually shoot Spencer, but he might scare the piss out of him.

My father gets home just as I slip back into bed dressed in pjs. He doesn’t say goodnight because it’s late, and I’m sure he assumes I’m asleep.

I would be asleep. Should be. But I can’t even think to rest my eyes. I’m not one to think that first kisses and first times are that big of deal. It’s not like having sex is a life altering event. And I most definitely do not feel like a whole new person.

Books and movies make it seem like a huge deal. But it’s really not. However, I do think this will change our relationship a bit. Hopefully bring us closer. Honestly, I’m really not sure what will change between us.

I do know one thing. I’m officially his girlfriend. He’s officially my boyfriend. We’re official. Which feels good. After years of crushing on him and months of sneaking around and having fun with him, we’re finally together.

I know I said fuck it if she’s off limits, but goddamn do I feel guilty. I hate feeling guilty. I’m sick of it actually. No one should feel guilty about dating anyone. But I can’t help it. It’s wired into my subconscious.

Jade is finally my girlfriend. We had a great night together. I should be happy. Well, I am happy but I’m also feeling guilty and a little dumb.

Of course I didn’t have sex with her just to spite her father, but he did have something to do with it. They all did. They pushed me a little too far and I finally caved in to what I’ve been resisting. But I wanted it, I’ve wanted it for a while, so it’s not like their teasing was my only reason for sleeping with her.

Just as I’m about to text her the next morning, I get a call from Hotch saying we need to go to Quantico for another case. I was hoping to see Jade today since we didn’t get to talk after we had sex. But I guess that’s out the window. I grab my pre-packed go bag after getting dressed then head to work.

(skipping time because goddamn i am bored with this story… sorry)

The sneaking around that once stressed the hell out of me has kind of become fun. I mean there’s a type of thrill that comes with dating your boss’s “off limits” daughter.

Jade and I have had a fun few weeks. We’ve connected more, spent as much time together as we can, and have honestly had a lot of sex.

We’re both still getting used to our new relationship, but we’re in it together.

I spend the night with Spencer as often as I can without my dad getting suspicious. He thinks I’m either with a friend, at a party, or whatever other minuscule lie I tell him.

The lying and sneaking around is fun. I’m finally getting the experience I never had in high school. I would obviously love if I could date Spencer and not have to lie about it, but the secrecy of it all is thrilling.

It makes the sex just hotter.

After having sex on the couch, then moving it to his bedroom for more space, Spencer and I lay on the mattress together. Our hands intertwine, fiddling with our fingers.

“Want to know something a little ironic?” I ask him as his thumb rubs across the back of my hand.

Spencer shifts a bit to face me. “What’s that?”

“In 7th grade health class, us girls were all given purity rings, misogynistic, I know. I think I still have mine.”

“Give it to me.” As he says this, something in his face changes.

“What?” I question, a slight chuckle releasing from my lips.

“It’s technically mine now. It only seems accurate and fair for me to have it.”

I laugh a little once again, my cheeks burning pinker than they ever have. He’s dead serious. Something about the look in his dark eyes makes me want to go for round two right now.

I think he has the same idea. Spencer leans in, his lips kissing mine. I kiss him back immediately, my tongue sliding in his mouth. As we kiss, his hand slides down my body and he slips a finger between my folds to touch my already sensitive clit.

“You’re still wet,” he says. “Good girl.”

I moan into his mouth, moving my hips back and forth as I ride his fingers. His lips find their place on his neck and tits, sucking on the places he’s already left his mark on. It stings a little, but the pain feels good.

“God, Spencer,” I whine as he sinks his teeth into my flesh, not enough to damage my skin but enough to hurt a bit.

I beg him to touch me harder and faster, and he obliges, fingering me as I moan into his ears.

After a minute, I’m so needy that I take matters into my own hands. I sit up then place myself onto his lap, guiding his dick inside me with my hand. I roll my hips back and forth, watching his face as I ride him.

“Holy fuck,” he whines. “You’re so hot, baby.”

The way his length hits inside me as I bounce on him has me louder than I’ve ever been. He lifts one of his hands up to quiet me so his neighbors don’t hear. I personally, don’t care if they hear us. I want them to know how good he feels and wish they could feel this way.

He releases his hand after a while, holding my hips and occasionally slapping my ass while I ride him. He bucks his hips upward to meet mine, making his dick hit inside me harder.

“Fuck,” I moan, dragging out the word.

He’s moaning louder than usual too. My hands that were scratching down his chest land on his throat, choking him.

“Is this okay?” I ask.

He’s done it to me before but I haven’t done it to him while we’ve fucked.

“Very,” he nods.

As I finish, I bite into his shoulder, quieting my moan of his name. He finishes not long after me.

The next morning, Jade comes into the bullpen, she’s walking toward me. everyone’s looking. My face is red already, and she hasn’t done anything. I have no idea what she’s doing.

“My dad told me to give this to you,” she says, handing me an envelope. She smiles sweetly then turns toward the elevators.

She was bringing her father lunch and was in his office for a bit, eating with him as he worked.

I let out a soft, relieved breath. I open the letter. There’s a paper, and written on it in neat handwriting is “I think this belongs to you.” Taped to the paper is a small, silver ring with the word “promise” on it. I’m definitely blushing hard and trying to suppress a smile.

“You getting fired, reid?” Morgan teases.

“Totally,” I joke casually, my mind far away from Morgan’s question.

I slip the ring in my pocket before folding up the note and safely putting it away in my desk.

I think that little word engraved on the inside of the ring has a new meaning now.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Hey!

Not sure if you know or not, and possibly it may be an issue on my end. However, when I try to use your master list (specifically Just Acting) it takes me to an entirely wrong chapter, and takes me out of the app as well.

Thought you may wanna know!

Love your work x

yeah i know! it just will not let me fix it when i try to re-link the chapters. idk why tumblr is hating me.

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contains: oral, handjob, sex…

Part Twenty- Five

Fuck it if she’s off limits.

I get in my car and drive, only one thing on my mind. Her. I just want to be with her. Around her. I don’t care what we do.

I knock on her apartment door lightly, knowing Jack would be asleep and praying she wouldn’t be. To my delight, Jade opens the door wearing nothing but pjs and a smile.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the bar with the team?” She asks, her head tilting to the side as her grin grows.

“I’d rather be here,” I tell her honestly.

Jade pulls me into her apartment before shutting the door. She looks me up and down, not even bothering to conceal her gaze.

“Are you checking me out?” I ask with a chuckle.

Jade bites her lip and nods. “This is a good look for you.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” she says slowly. “White button ups, so hot.”

I look down to my shirt, the sleeves rolled up to my elbows due to the humidity outside.

“What are you plotting, Spencer?”

“Nothing,” I tell her. “I just wanted to be with you.”

“You’re a beautiful sweet talker,” she smiles, pulling me into her before I can take a step forward.

Her lips press to mine gently, and I return the favor happily, a smile on my lips. My hands hold the sides of her face.

Jade’s the one who takes the kiss a step further, deepening the movements and causing our lips to burn with desire.

I’m not sure which one of us takes the initiative to move to the couch, but it happens in a brief motion. I sit down on the couch and she sits on my lap. The action is mostly innocent, well, as innocent as straddling someone’s lap can be. We’re not in a rush.

My hands find a resting spot on her hips, hers on my shoulders, as we kiss. Our lips suck against each other’s, tongues gliding and intertwining.

“Yeah, definitely would rather be here than at the bar,” I say with a chuckle, rubbing my thumbs against the skin revealed from her top riding up.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Jade grins, her face already flushed from the kissing.

After a few more slow, passionate kisses, her lips begin trailing down to my neck. Her fingers undo the top button of my shirt to give herself more skin to cover with her lips. She attaches them to my neck, sucking gently while her fingertip trails from my shoulder down to my stomach. I can feel my skin prickle with chill bumps of pleasure.

Jade sucks on the base of my throat, her tongue making contact with my skin.

“Hmm, Jade,” I noise. “Do you know what you’re doing right now?”

She pulls away with a slightly shy smile. “Making you horny?”

“Yes very much so.”

“Sorry,” she chuckles softly, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“It’s okay, baby,” I assure her.

I lean up into her, pressing my lips to hers again. She rolls her hips against mine, brushing her core to the bulge in my pants.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” I ask her, our lips close.

I see her eyes light up with curiosity and anticipation. “Yes.”

Once the door is closed, our lips are all over each other’s again, hands roaming. Jade sits on her bed, looking up at me with a smile.

“Do you want me to…” my words fall off until I gain the confidence. “I want to taste you. If that’s okay.”

Jade bites her bottom lip gently then nods.

“Words.”

“Yes,” she says then adds a sweet “please.”

“Whatever you want, princess,” I smile.

I lean over her, and she lays down against the mattress. I take her lips into mine, slipping my tongue into her mouth slowly.

“Sit up,” I request. When she follows my directions, I slip her shirt off her body after receiving a nod of permission.

She’s not wearing a bra. I can tell my eyes widen. “God.”

“What?” Jade chuckles.

“You know what,” I say, kissing her briefly before feeling her chest. I take one of her tits in my mouth, swirling my tongue around her nipple before sucking on it.

The little noise of delight she releases makes me feel good. I love hearing how good I can make her feel.

My lips trail down to the waistband of her pj bottoms, leaving a path of kisses on her skin. I look down at her shorts, then up to her eyes.

“Just take them off already,” she says with a slight laugh.

“Yes ma’am,” I remark just before looping my fingers under the band and removing her bottoms.

She’s left completely revealed now, and I can feel my bulge growing at the sight. I dip my head down, spreading her legs with my hands. My tongue licks up her pussy, giving myself just a taste. Eventually, I can’t even tease her any longer because of how desperately I need this.

I dip my tongue inside of her, as deep as it can reach. She’s wet and only getting wetter by the second. It doesn’t take long for me to be absolutely devouring her, taking every drip of her I can get into my mouth.

The moans and whines she makes are like music to my ears. I know she’s trying to be quiet, and it’s absolutely adorable hearing her fail at silencing her noises.

She slaps her hand over her mouth as she finishes, her moans muffled but still pleasing my ears.

Holy fuck. The way Spencer looks up at me from between my legs, my juices dripping from his chin. It’s so fucking hot.

I lean down, holding his face in my hands. “You’re so beautiful.”

He smiles, moving his head to kiss my hand. “Thank you.”

He crawls back up to hover above me. I pull his head down to kiss me, tasting myself on his tongue.

As we kiss, I reach my hand down to grab the tent in his pants. “Can I?”

Usually, this is the part where he stops what we’re doing, but instead he nods. “Yes.”

I’m not entirely sure what to do, but it can’t be that hard. Well, ironically, he’s incredibly hard. I slip my hand into his boxers, grabbing ahold of his erection.

“Fuck,” he hisses. “Jade…”

I pull it out of his pants, stroking it gently. My hands are shaking a bit, but I don’t stop. I want to please him. Once I’m a bit more comfortable with jerking him off, I reverse our positions, having him sit down on the bed. He leans against the headboard as I sit on his lap. His pants are now off.

I speed up my motions, my hand pumping him at a pace that draws out more moans from him.

“You’re doing so good,” he practically whimpers out, his breathing heavy.

Oh I like that sound. A lot.

I look down at him with a smug grin. But his hand wrapping around my throat and pulling me toward him wipes the expression away. The butterflies in my stomach flap their wings hard.

“Unfortunately, I’m going to need you to stop before I cum on your hand,” Spencer says, slightly embarrassed.

“Noted,” I chuckle softly, removing my hand from his dick.

“I want you. So fucking bad,” Spencer says in a sort of growl that I’ve never heard from him, or anyone, before.

I lick my lips, staring down at him with need. “I’m all yours.”

Spencer lifts me off of him and lays me down on the bed. He hovers above me again, his hand to the side of me holding up his weight. He dips down, kissing me again, biting my bottom lip.

After a moment, he pulls away. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks, his soft brown gaze still filled with a hint of concern.

I pull him down by the collar of his white button up so that our lips are just barely brushing against each other’s. “Please fuck me.”

My words ignite something in him and his lips attack my neck with sloppy kisses, leaving his mark down to my chest. My hands undo the buttons of his shirt, and I slip it off of him and toss it on the ground.

“Fuck. I don’t have a condom,” he says, a disappointed written look all over his face.

“Uh. It’s okay,” I say. “I’m on the pill. Cramps and stuff.”

“You’re sure it’s okay?”

I nod. “Mhm. I want to feel you.”

“You do not have to tell me twice,” Spencer smiles, kissing my lips again.

He guides me through the process, telling me he’ll go slow. It hurts at first, like he warned me. The pain is quickly replaced with pleasure.

As he pushes himself in and out of me, our moans fill the room. I wrap my legs around his torso.

“Harder. Please.”

He obeys my request, thrusting into me deeply and roughly. I kiss him to quiet myself down, moaning into his mouth. And as I finish, I bite his shoulder.

When Spencer’s done, he goes to my bathroom to get a rag to clean his cum off my stomach and wipe down my core.

He sits down beside me, smiling down at me. “I- uh. Wow.”

“Yeah,” I chuckle, moving my hair out of my face. “Wow.”

“How do I keep missing my change to ask you? Can I be your boyfriend?”

I sit up, my smile growing wider. “Yes. I would love that.”

Spencer leans down to press a gentle kiss to my lips then to my forehead. “As much as I hate to leave after this, your dad is about to be home.”

“I know, don’t worry about it,” I tell him. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course.”

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

mostly nsfw story | haven’t checked for typos

Part Twenty-Four

It’s been 7 days, 9 hours, and 12 minutes. This case has kept me away from her for a little over a week now.

I find that every day that passes within our little relationship, I grow more fond of her. No - fond isn’t the word I would use. I like her more, my feelings grow, I fall for her deeper and deeper. I don’t know how to describe it, every word combination seems silly.

All I know is that our connection has strengthened, deepened with time, and I find her crossing my mind when I hear certain words or see certain things. For example, the candle on JJ’s desk the other day reminded me of Jade. She loves candles, has at least 16 of them in her family’s apartment.

It’s only been 7 days, but I miss her. I miss her voice, the smell of her hair and how its sweet scent wafts to my nose when she lays her head on my shoulder, her laugh, especially the one she tries to hide that sounds like animal giving birth. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Of course, I miss kissing and touching her, feeling her soft skin beneath my finger tips. Most importantly, I just miss being around her, talking to her. I have no idea what this feeling is because I haven’t felt it with anyone. It’s new, slightly terrifying territory.

Not only am I longing the company of my… I haven’t ask her to be my girlfriend. I want to. What if she doesn’t want that? I force my train of thought to go back on its tracks. I’m also exhausted from this case. The hotel bed and the fact that due to occupancy I’ve had to hear Morgan snore 5 feet away from me every night have caused me to barely get any sleep since we got here.

The case is tricky, time consuming. We’ve finally got a lead, but we have to plan the details of this arrest precisely so no body else gets hurt.

I’ve been really productive this week. With Dad and Spencer gone, both of them only being able to really talk to me at night, I’ve had plenty of time to get things done during the day.

Of course, it’s been a little tricky with my little brother pestering me most hours of the day, but I’ve been able to occupy him with cartoons, coloring books, snacks, naps, and action figures.

I’ve gotten all of my work done for this week and the next. Finals are coming up so we are getting into review topics. I cleaned around the apartment the other day since my father never has time to, doing the dishes, laundry, helping Jack pick up his room, and organizing the kitchen. I’ve also gone to the park with Jack and caught up on binge watching my current hyperfixation tv show, which yes, I consider that productivity.

I miss Spencer. I know it’s only been a week, but It’s weird not seeing him for this long. Especially since he’s been so busy and hasn’t been able to text me more than 3 short messages a day: “Good morning!” “Have a good day.” and “Almost done for the day. Can we call later?”

Things between us have definitely changed. I’m not entirely sure what it is, but I’ve noticed our dynamic alter a bit. Not in a bad way either. I think we’re on a deeper level of connection.

Anyway, I hope they come home soon. I miss my dad too, and not just because I want him to take my sometimes pain in the ass of a brother off my hands.

“Hey kiddos,” my dad says with a cheesy grin as he walks through the apartment door. He looks tired, but relieved to be home.

“Daddy!” Jack abandons his toy card and jumps into his arms before he can even set down his go bag.

As the two of them embrace, I stand up to give him a hug as well. “How was the case?”

“Not too bad, just long and elaborate. A few of us got a little banged up though,” Dad tells me, releasing his arm from around me and setting Jack onto his feet.

My mind immediately wonders if Spencer’s okay. I know my dad would’ve said something if someone was seriously injured, but I can’t help my anxiety.

I check the time on my phone. “Let me cook dinner tonight,” I offer, my gaze meeting the dark circles under my father’s brown eyes.

He smiles and nods. “I’d love that.”

After talking a little while longer, I head to the kitchen to get dinner started. In between making sure things don’t burn, I text Spencer, reading his updates on the week.

“Can I come over later?”

I ask.

“Please do.”

I smile down at his words and get back to cooking. After dinner, Dad and I talk while we clean up the kitchen.

“I’m heading to bed early tonight. As soon as Jack’s down, it’s lights out for me.”

I chuckle softly, my eyes showing the sympathy I have for my father’s lack of sleep or relaxation for the past 8 days.

“God, I missed you,” Spencer says as his arms wrap around my waste. He barely let me get through his apartment door before pulling me into him. He smells like soap and vanilla woods, and his hair is still damp from the shower.

I rest my head on his chest, arms around the back of his neck as I let him hold me for however long he wishes. “I missed you too, Spencer.”

He lets me go after a good half minute, smiling down at me with his adorable grin, his dimples on full display. I smile right back up at him in adoration until I notice some bruising on his jaw and cheek bone.

“What happened?” I hold his face, brushing my thumb against his darkened skin gently.

“A little altercation with the unsub. Even Morgan has a black eye right now,” Spencer says matter of factly.

“You’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” he nods. “You should see the other guy.”

I laugh softly before grabbing his hand and leading him to his couch. We sit down together, my head on his shoulder and his hand on my thigh.

I kiss his shoulder through his shirt, and I can see the corners of his lips perk up. Spencer removes his hand from my thigh and uses it to lift my chin up so he can kiss me. My lips return the gesture immediately.

We give each other a couple of sweet pecks and a few longer kisses before settling back into our cuddling positions and turning on the tv. It’s nice to just be here next to him.

As if he can tell what I’m thinking, he kisses the top of my head, scootching in closet even though it’s not quite possible.

Bar on east 4th tonight. The whole team is coming. I’m expecting you to be there, pretty boy.

I roll my eyes at the text that pops up on my phone screen. I’m not exactly in the gathering mood, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go. We haven’t been able to all get together outside of work in at least a year. I suppose I’ll stop by for an hour or so.

At 8, I get ready to leave for the bar. Jade’s voice telling me not to wear work attire to casual outings rings in my head, so I opt for a more relaxed white button up (no tie), dark fitted jeans, and my pair of purple converse I don’t wear often enough.

I arrive early, of course, but my coworkers, no, friends enter the bar soon enough, some coming in pairs and some alone. We all gather at a table until there’s not enough chairs. Morgan and Emily take a seat at the bar, already ordering drinks.

As time moves on, my peers are fueled with alcohol, some more than others. Hotch drinks his scotch very sophisticatedly. It’s a little intimidating at times that he never actually seems to drop his professionalism.

JJ orders a basket of fries for the table which Morgan takes a few every time he passes by on his way from the dance floor to the bar and vise versa. He and Penelope seem to be having the time of their life dancing, having no care in the world. Emily takes JJ’s hand as we’re in conversation, dragging her to the floor to dance with her. This leaves me, Rossi, and Hotch at the table, sipping drinks - I ordered a vodka soda about thirty minutes ago, and I’m only 2/3 of the way done with it.

The three of us make conversation, talking about whatever. I like the way Hotch smiles when I correct Rossi on a slight mistake he made when we were discussing something. It’s like he’s proud. Which that admiration I feel quickly turns to guilt because I’m going behind his back and seeing his daughter.

Around 10, we’re all seated at the table, talking and laughing at each other. I’m the most sober, and the drunkest of the bunch are amusing me.

Somehow, the conversation topic turns to sexual situations and who has the most game.

“Spencer could have game if he didn’t spill so many random facts,” JJ says then shoots me a loving I’m sorry but it’s true look.

“Hmm I don’t know about that,” Morgan says with a devious grin. “He’s too awkward for game. Maybe if he had like three drinks in him and relaxed a bit. Maybe.”

I can feel my face beating red. I hate being the subject of discussion, especially when it’s a topic like this.

“Have you ever actually been with a girl?” Morgan asks, genuinely curious. “Or guy, I don’t judge.”

I shoot him a glare. There’s no way I’m talking about this right now. “Shut up.”

“So no?” Emily teases.

A few more words are said, and laughs are shared. Laughs at me. Well, they may think they’re laughing with me, but I am no longer amused. Even Hotch is laughing a little.

Something in me lights up, and I rise from my seat. “You guys are unbearable when you’re drunk.”

I leave, despite the protests. But I’m not leaving because they hurt my feelings. I’m going to Jade.

Fuck it if she’s off limits.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787 @axen-gers

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

nsfw | all chapters in master list

Chapter Twenty-Five

good•bye

e.

used to express good wishes when parting or at the end of a conversation.

But where is the "good" in "goodbye"? What can possibly be good about leaving the man you love for months, unable to see, feel, smell, and bug Matthew for approximately 130 days.

Meet me at the park at 2.

You smile at Matthew's text, wondering what type of surprise he has for you. Your flight leaves at 6 today, and it's currently 1:42.

You're already dressed, sort of, in a white crop top and black jeans, so you throw on a light purple cardigan and slip into your white high top converse and head out of your door. Everything is packed except a few essentials you left out in case you need them for the rest of the day.

I'm at the park. Where are you?

You text.

"Turn around loser," Matthew's voice says and you laugh, turning to face him.

"Why hello to you too."

"Hi, beautiful." He pulls you in for a kiss.

"So why are we here?"

"We're going to take a walk and imprint this place on your brain so you don't forget the three dates we've had here."

"Matthew, I'm going for a few months, not ten years."

"I know. I needed an excuse to take you to the park. It's so much prettier at sunset, but we don't have that luxury."

You sigh softly and grab his hand, walking along the trail. "You're cute."

"I am aren't I?" Matthew smiles.

"Humble too!" You laugh.

"I'm the whole package," he jokes.

"You really are," you smile up at him.

He squeezes your hand. "So I think I deserve a hot picture of you in your hotel shower when you get to London."

"And you've ruined it."

"I'm kidding," he smiles, kissing your temple.

Kids playing and trees standing tall, providing shade pass by your line of vision as you two continue to walk. "So you know how Spencer took Delilah to the lake to get a break from work?"

You nod, a grin forming on your lips. "Are you taking me to the lake?"

"Yeahh. There's this nice, not entirely gross lake outside of the city."

He leads you to your car since he took a cab here. He gives you the directions and you drive there. By the time you're there, it's 3pm.

When you get out of the car, you're greeted with his hand in yours again.

"It's nice and quiet out here," you smile up at Matthew.

"Yeah, I used to come out here with some friends whenever I was in LA." Matthew doesn't live in California, but he's practically here all the time. He still lives in Nevada, but stays in LA when filming here. Which is why he's always at your place instead of you going to his.

You pick up a rock and throw it into the water, watching it skip a few times.

"Show off."

"What, you can't skip rocks?"

He picks up one for himself and throws it. It plops in immediately. You laugh.

"We're done, you're mean."

"Oh yeah? Here I'll show you." You grab a rock and place it in his hand, standing behind him ready to guide his wrist.

"It's not about throwing it, babe. You've got to flick your wrist and gently release."

He does as he's directed and it skips once.

"Hey, there ya go!"

"I'd rather throw something else in the water."

"Like what?"

He starts toward you and you run. "No sir! You cannot."

"But I can." He grabs you by wrapping his arms around your torso and runs into the water with you.

"Now i'll have to shower before the flight!"

"Y/n, live a little."

You hit his arm and he pouts. "You're fine."

He swims around a bit, clothes slowly him down. He stands up and offers his arms out to you, doing grabby hands.

"I can't reach over there."

"What, they don't have pools in Pennsylvania? You seem too prissy for the lakes."

You roll your eyes. "You're an ass." You swim over to him, having to keep your legs kicking.

He uses his hands to move some hair out of your face. "You love my ass."

"Maybe."

He smiles and pulls you closer. You swim around for a bit.

"We can get out, it's sort of cold. I have a jacket in the back seat."

You nod, following him out of the lake. He grabs the jacket and wraps it around you. You sit down, him sitting slightly behind you and throwing an arm over your shoulders. "Okay it wasn't horrible."

"I know," he smiles.

As you start to dry off, you know you need to leave soon. You have about two hours and twenty minutes until your flight leaves.

Matthew plays with your hair. "I like the little curlies." He twirls your waves in his hand.

A grin forms on your face. "You're cute."

"You're cute," he kisses your temple. "C'mon, darling, let's get you cleaned up." He stands up, helping you up afterwards.

He drives you back to your apartment and waits on the couch as you get into the shower. The smell of your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and soaps fill your senses as you clean the lake water off of your body.

"Hey I have a question?" Matthew comes into the bathroom. "Can I join you really quick, I'm leaving for Vegas today and I don't want to be all lakey in the car for 4 hours."

You giggle. "Yes of course." You hear him move around a bit before he steps in under the water. You're almost done, but don't mind staying in longer.

He washes his wavy brown locks, not caring that he'll smell like girly shampoo. He's done with his hair quickly.

"Here let me," you say and grab your body wash. "You're going to smell so good with pink blossom!"

He chuckles as you start to wash his shoulders, moving the luffa in circles. The bubbles form on his body. You go to his chest, then his back, then his tummy, the back of his legs. You're practically on your knees as you wash the front of his legs. You look up at him with an evil smile and lick the tip of his length.

"Y/n," he breathes. You stand back up to rinse him off. "You're evil."

"I know," you shrug and give him a kiss. "Just think it'll be so much worse teasing from over 5,000 miles away."

"I don't doubt it," he pulls you in and kisses you.

You turn the water off, stepping out and grabbing two towels. You hand one to him and as he tries off, you change clothes in your room. You change into black joggers, a red crop top, and a light jacket over it. You slip on your black converse and leave your white ones to dry in the bathroom. While Matthew changes into a pair of clothes he'd left over, you back up every essential you needed after adding product to your hair.

Now that you're entirely packed, it feels more real. You meet Matthew on the couch, knowing you have to leave for the airport in twenty minutes.

You've already said your goodbyes to all of your friends, and also your family on the phone. You obviously saved Matthew for last.

You call an uber to take you to the airport, she's going to drop Matthew off at the hotel afterwards. He helps you carry your things to the uber.

You sit in the back, holding hands, as she drives to the airport. You're arriving about thirty minutes earlier than the flight.

"Here we are," she says, parking the car.

You try to hand her money, and Matthew says he's got it. He gets out to help you with your bags. You wrap your arms around him immediately after setting your bags down. You feel tears pricking at your eyes. A few cameras are filming and taking pictures, but you don't care.

He hugs you tightly, kissing the top of your head. "So this is it," he pulls away.

"Yep," you sigh.

"Call me when you land, okay? I don't care what time it is."

You nod, wiping away a tear.

"I love you."

"I love you, Matthew."

He presses his lips to yours, and the kiss seems like it was only a second, but it was definitely more. You trail your hand down his arm then to his hand snd squeeze it as you pick up your bags.

"Don't say goodbye. Say see you later."

"See you later, Y/n."

"See you later."

And with that, you wheel your suitcase and carry your carry on into the doors of the airport. You look back for a second before going to check in.

_____

You're seated in a window seat, looking out at the clouds around you. The flight will be over 11 hours which you're sure as hell not excited for. You listen to an audio book as you lean your head against the seat.

Your family decided they would pay your apartment's rent while you're gone, and you could pay them back. When you return to California, your lease will be almost up anyway.

About six hours into the flight the little girl next to you taps your leg. "Hi."

You laugh softly. "Hello."

"Do you gotta boyfriend? I got a boyfriend. His name is Benjamin. I call him Benji."

You smile, chuckling. "Well, I'm happy for you. I do have a boyfriend, yes."

"Do you lovvveeeee him?"

"I do," you smile.

"I love Benji even though he's a whole five months younger."

"Five months isn't so bad. But remember, boys mature slowly than girls, so he may be a pain."

She looks a bit confused but giggles.

"Sorry, she's talkative," her mom says.

"It's okay," you smile and lean your head back down.

Images of Matthew swirl in your head as you get closer to landing. And by the time you actually do, it's 1pm in London, but your body still thinks it's 7am.

You wake up slowly as the little girl nudges you with her elbow. You yawn big and and rub your eyes, taking out your earbuds.

It's 1pm, what the fuck.

You text Matthew. He's definitely still asleep right now.

You get off the plane and by the time you're settled into your hotel, which the producers paid for, it's 3pm.

Haha. Jet lag bites. Good morning- afternoon. I love you.

I love you too. I'm going to take a nap.

The cool England air hits you as you stand, holding your arm out to hail a taxi. One finally pulls over and picks you up. You give him the address of the hotel, and he starts the drive.

You look out of the window, watching buildings and people fly past you. It's weird to be on the left side of the back seat and not be behind the driver.

"You new to the city?" The guy asks, looking in the mirror to see you watching the city pass your vision. His accent is pretty strong.

"Yes," you chuckle slightly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well with the thick American accent and the wandering eyes of a tourist, yes."

You smile, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I've never been outside of the States before, so this is a whole new planet for me."

"I hope it finds you well," he said, pulling into the parking lot of the hotel.

"Thank you," you smile, "I haven't had the chance to convert my cash yet."

"That's okay, I can do it."

You pay the taxi driver and get you and your things out of the car. You walk into the doors of the hotel.

"Hi, I have a room reserved already."

"Name?"

"Y/n Y/L/N. It should be paid for under the name of Jason Kane."

"Ah yes, you are reserved for four months in room 7b." The desk lady hands you your key.

"Thank you."

"Have a nice stay, I'll be here every day 8am to 10pm if you need anything, and James is our overnight clerk."

You nod your head and wheel your suitcase to the elevator.

"Hi," a woman in the elevator says as you step in.

"Hi," you smile.

"First time here?" she asks with a pretty British accent. Her blonde hair flows down to the middle of her back, soft curls intertwining with one another.

"Damn, I really make it obvious don't I?"

She laughs softly. "We Brits know how to sniff out newbies."

The elevator stops on the second floor of rooms (really the third floor), and it opens for you. "Well, this is me."

"See you around, American."

You smile, shaking your head and go to the seventh room. You swipe the keycard under the door handle and it unlocks.

The executive producer, Jason really knows how to pick hotels. The room is pretty spacious. The queen size bed with beige bedding sits in the middle of the room, night stands on either side. There's a white, two cushioned couch up against the wall furthest from the door and a wood dresser across from the bed stained dark brown with a tv on top of it. A small closet is next to the dresser, and on the other side a counter with a coffee pot and sugar packets. The restroom door is adjacent from the entrance and exit door. The counter is roomy, the sink resting in the middle. There's a few skin care items next to the soap. The shower is a walk in, the sliding glass door blurry and barely see through.

You begin to unpack, folding your clothes neatly into the dresser and hanging up the fancier ones in the closet. You put away all of your toiletries into the bathroom then plop on the bed after spraying a good coat of Lysol.

Tomorrow morning, you're to meet the cast and crew and have a table read for about an hour. Excitement and hits of nerves flutter in your stomach as you stare up at the ceiling. This will be your life until the beginning of July.

The sun begins to fade outside, the light inside your room dimming. A rumble sounds from the clouds above, rain beginning to drizzle, hitting against the window creating soft pounding sounds.

As your eyes begin to grow heavy, you're hit with a sudden realization that you'll have to sleep alone for some time. A semi harsh wave of loneliness hits you as the world around you fades into dreams.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid d @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @v-i-o-l-e-t <3

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

content warnings: mutual masturbation, mentions of sex, idk what else

Part Twenty- Three

The way she tasted is forever burned into my mind. I could go the rest of my life living off of her. Her taste my fuel. Her sounds my hope.

I wanted to desperately to have more of her. To not only dip my tongue into her glorious essence but my whole body. A part of me wishes I would have given in and intertwined our bodies in the way we’ve both been craving, but the sensible side of me knows I did the right thing stopping before it went too far. I can’t explain it, but I know waiting is for the best somehow.

I keep staring at the watch on my right wrist, begging for the hands to tick faster. I’ve been on a case for a few days, and when we got back, I rushed through my paperwork. I don’t want to leave too early, so I’m waiting on the clock to strike 3.

Then I can see her.

Not so graciously, I hop out of my chair when the time finally comes. I grab my bag and practically speed walk to the elevator.

“Got somewhere to be, Reid?” Morgan asks me.

I don’t feel the need to explain myself to my friend, so I just nod and give my coworkers a little wave.

When I get to Jade’s place, she opens the door in a tank top and pajama shorts. I grin as my eyes rake down her body.

“It’s been a lazy day,” she defends herself.

“No judgement,” I chuckle softly and pull her into me so I can kiss her.

Jade pulls away with a smile. “How was the case?”

“Not too bad,” I tell her honestly. “But it was tortuous being away from you.”

She shakes her head with a chuckle. “You’re one for the dramatics, aren’t you, Spencer?”

“I’m one for the honest truth, even if it may sound dramatic.”

Jade smiles up at me again before pulling me down for another kiss. “What would you like to do?”

“I’m perfectly fine with this,” I tell her, holding onto her hips as I kiss her.

“We have about two hours before my dad gets home,” Jade says. “That’s quite enough time for this.”

I smile and lead her to the couch. It’s still weird making out with my boss’s daughter in his own home, but I try not to think about it as Jade sits on my lap with her hands roaming my chest.

“I missed you,” she says with a slight whine.

“I missed you too, Jade,” I admit, my hands holding her sweet face. I don’t admit that I’ve been craving her like an addict on the side of the street. Just one time with her was enough to get me hooked.

Her hands fiddle with my tie. Her eyes don’t meet mine. I can tell a hint of what she’s thinking.

Instead of mentioning her slightly somber expression, I lift her face up to meet mine and press my lips to hers. She kisses me back immediately. Her lips taste sweet, she must’ve eaten honey earlier.

I keep my hands respectfully on her face, trying not to let them roam. Hers stay on my shoulders.

Our lips intertwine passionately, the tension between us rising. She draws a low noise from my throat as she takes my bottom lip between her teeth. I can tell she’s trying to hint at taking this further, but she won’t make the first move.

I keep the tension between us somewhat at bay by just kissing. My head is telling me to keep it like this, keep it somewhat innocent, but my touch starved length is begging for me to touch her.

My hands move their way to her hips, holding onto her as our lips collide with heat. Jade’s getting restless, I know she wants me to touch her just as badly as I do.

After a while, she takes matters into her own hands, brushing her core against my lap. The contact makes my already partially erect crotch tingle.

I pull away from her lips, looking into her eyes with a slight warning. Jade pouts, sighing.

“What’s wrong, baby?” I ask, brushing my thumb against her hip bone.

“I want you,” she says.

“I know, I know. I want you too, but we need to take this slower,” I tell her with a frown of my own.

“Why? Why won’t you…?”

She trails off, knowing the answer. I rest my forehead against hers, holding her closer. “I’m sorry.”

“No. It’s okay,” Jade says. “I get it. You’re right.”

I kiss her lips softly before she gets off my lap. I wish she knew how much I truly wanted her.

“I’m assuming you haven’t eaten lunch?” I question Spencer as I stand up.

“You know me so well,” he laughs softly.

I roll my eyes playfully as I go to the kitchen to make him a sandwich. Once I’m done, I sit next to him and turn on the tv while he eats.

“You’re getting close to graduation,” he says with a smile down to me.

“I know. It’s kind of crazy,” I say. “But I still have three years of school after this, so it’s not too wild.”

“You’re going to do fucking amazing.”

I smile before dramatically saying, “Spencer Reid, did you just say a bad word?”

“Oh my apologies, ma’am,” he chuckles.

It’s not long before another case takes him away from me for a few days. I stay up later than usual to talk to Spencer on the phone after speaking to my dad.

He’s talking a little quiet just in case one of his coworkers from the neighboring hotel room is still up.

“You’re quite distracting, Jade.”

“Oh yeah? How so?”

He sighs playfully. “It’s hard to focus on criminals when all I can think about is how you taste.”

So he’s definitely a little horny right now. Honestly, so am I. My body reacts to his words with butterflies in my stomach.

“If only you were here right now,” I say.

“What would we do?”

He loves messing with me, getting me to say things out loud.

“Maybe you’d let me do some things for you like you did for me.”

“You’d want that?” Spencer asks.

“Perhaps.”

He chuckles softly on the other end of the phone. “I want to hear your pretty moans again.”

The blood rushes to my cheeks, burning red. “Maybe you can.”

“Oh?” I can tell he’s shocked by what I’m suggesting.

“Only if you want.”

“I want whatever you’ll give me right now.”

“I want you to tell me what to do. I like when you guide me,” I tell him, my voice soft.

“Yes ma’am,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Slide your hand down. Touch yourself, baby.”

I do as he says, slipping my hands passed the waistband of my pajama pants. My two fingers touch my clit softly, and a small noise releases from my lips. I drag the wetness to my clit so I can rub circles easily.

“I’m so wet, Spencer,” I tell him, whining.

He draws in a breath, and I know he wishes he was here to feel it for himself. “Good. Touch yourself as fast as you want. Don’t be afraid to make noise, baby.”

I nod even though he can’t see me. I rub my clit fast enough to draw moans from my lips but not enough to get me squirming.

“You sound so pretty,” he says, his voice low and deep.

“Are you going to touch yourself?” I ask through soft whines.

“I already am, baby.”

I smile, biting my lip.

The two of us bring ourselves pleasure as we talk on the phone, guiding each other and moaning from our own ends of the call. This made me want him even more. I wish it were his fingers dipping inside me rather than my own, but if this is all I get for now, I’ll take it.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Hi! Hope you’re ok?? Haven’t seen you post anything in a while and was starting to get worked!

I was just wondering if you were ever gonna continue “off limits” and “just acting” ??

Much love xxx

yes i am! i’m a senior in high school and these past few months have been sooo busy. i will probably go on a writing spree when i finish school in two weeks

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

nsfw | all chapters in master list

Chapter Twenty-Four

Matthew pulls you onto his lap after you approach him while he's sitting on the couch. You've just gotten back from dinner. You decided on a sushi date with ice cream afterwards. You didn't want your "going away dinner" to seem like what it was, a last date for while. A goodbye. He could barely keep his lips off yours on the way up to your apartment.

You position your legs on either side of his thighs. He looks up at you, and you grab his face in your hands, connecting your lips with his. The kiss his slow and sweet. Matthew pulls you closer to him by your waist. The feeling of his mouth on yours, tongue grazing yours overrides your senses. Right now, you're not Y/n who's leaving tomorrow. You are his. Entirely his.

His tongue roams your mouth, and you let him dominate the kiss. Your lips work against each other's like that's their whole purpose. After Matthew pulls a short distance away to take a breath, you smash your mouth against his again. He tastes of mint and sugar, the ice cream.

Your teeth tug at his bottom lip while your hands fiddle with the buttons on his brightly colored button up. You get them undone, leaning back so you can take his shirt off. After throwing it on the floor a few feet away, your hands go to his bare chest, fingers tracing circles on his skin. He shudders at the touch, a devilish smile painted on his face. You lean into him again, kissing his up jaw line until you reach his lips again. A small groan noises from him at the feeling of your mouth on his jaw. You smile, clearly proud of yourself.

"Hey d-" he starts, but you cut him off.

"Hi handsome," you say smiling, kissing his lips quickly.

He laughs, not minding that you didn't let him finish his sentence. Matthew's hands trail up to your neck as he kisses you at a medium pace. His finger traces down your cheek, to your jaw line, to your neck again. He squeezes your throat, not hard enough to hurt, but just the right amount of pressure to release a moan from your lips. He smiles at the sound. His hand moves to the back of your neck, tangling your hair in his hand. You look into his gorgeous honey eyes with anticipation. Matthew pulls your hair back slowly, giving him space to kiss your neck. His lips, teeth, and tongue mark seemingly every inch of your neck. More low moans escape your throat.

You feel the warmth between your legs getting more eager as his erection presses against your thigh. You start to grind against it, moving your hips into his and back in a rhythm. He closes his eyes for a moment with a groan.

"God, you are beautiful." He cups your face.

You smile softly. "Ditto, lover boy."

He laughs softly and kisses your forehead. You continue to grind against him as he pulls your shirt over your head. His eyes widen as he sees your boobs confined by lacy black bra. You love that you still have that effect on him.

You smile and kiss his neck, leaving hickeys of your own. You bite his shoulder and his body reacts by being even more turned on, which you feel against your thigh. You smile and slide off of his lap after pecking his lips.

You sit on your knees in front of him before undoing the button of his jeans and sliding the zipper down. He lifts his hips up for you so you can slide them off. Your face inches closer to the middle of his boxers.

"You don't have to," he says, looking down at you.

"Shh," you say, dragging your finger from him belly button down to the band of his briefs. "I want to."

He nods and the look of anticipation and eagerness on his face makes you smirk. You slide his boxers off, his length coming free. You stroke him for a bit, then add in your other hand. After you feel him becoming even harder, you lean forward, connecting your tongue to his tip. You swirl it around a few times, loving the sounds coming from Matthew's mouth. You take him in deeper, moving your head back and forth slowly. His hands go to your hair again, tugging gently. You feel the warm liquid start to come from him and begin to bob your head deeper and faster. You take all of him in.

Matthew groans loudly, cursing under his breath. "God," his head throws back. You continue your work. "Y/n, you can stop... I'm gonna..." He can't even finish his words because of the sounds and breaths stopping his thoughts.

You continue until you feel him finish. You pull back and swallow, sitting back and looking up at him like a puppy.

He leans forward after regaining his composure. "You are so incredible.

You smile contently and return to your spot on his lap after take your jeans off. Your lips find each other's again immediately. You push against his core again, feeling it graze in between your legs, just a thin piece of cloth keeping them from touching. A soft moan comes from your mouth from the sensation of it.

"Keep grinding," he says raspily.

You do as you were told and his fingers find your center. He rubs your area, feeling the dampness of your underwear. Before you can prepare yourself, his middle fingers are circling your bare clit. A high pitched, breathy moan leaves your tongue. His pace quickens and you can already feel you getting closer. How does he do that? Matthew kisses your collar bone and your chest while his hand works on you. You lean forward, head resting in the crook of his head while his fingers slip inside you.

As you come undone onto his fingers, you bite his shoulder again, not too hard, but harder than intended. You're utterly high as he slowly rubs your swollen center. You sigh loudly as he stops and sticks two fingers in your mouth. You suck your own juices from his hand and close your eyes.

"You feel good, baby?"

"Amazing," you sigh loudly again.

He smiles. "Good." He kisses your forehead. "We can stop if you're tired."

You shake your head. "No. No I don't want to stop."

"Okay," he smiles again. "As you wish, darling."

He gives you a moment to rest before kissing your mouth roughly. He sets you on the couch and stands up to go to your room for a condom.

"I want to feel you."

"And I want to make sure I don't get a call while you're away saying you're pregnant." He laughs softly.

You smile. "Yes sir." You say it in more of a sarcastic tone, but you definitely didn't mind using that term.

He furrows his eyebrows and chuckles. He sits back down on the couch, putting on condom.

"I want top," you say. "L the first time."

He smiles, remembering. "I'll get to see your tits bounce, so fine by me."

"Matthew! Naughty."

"My fingers were just inside you, we're well past not being naughty."

You press your lips together, blushing.

You climb back on top of him and he takes your bra off as you play with his hair. You position yourself just right and slide onto him. You adjust to his length while slowly grinding. His hands play with your breasts as you speed up the pace.

Eventually, you're bouncing on him, and his hips buck up to meet yours. You're both definitely being loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but you don't even mind. You feel yourself coming closer, eyes stinging and watering. All at once, your vision goes blurry, and you're even higher than before. If you thought the last orgasm was strong, this is like it took steroids. The two of you are done at the same time, hot breaths and whimpers blending together.

____

"Are you alright, darling?"

"Sore," you say with a laugh.

"Sorry," he looks down at you with soft eyes while continuing to stroke your hair.

"Sorry? Nuh uh, that was the best I've ever felt."

He smiles and says, "Hot goodbye sex."

"Ah don't say that word."

"Sex? Y/n, you're an adult."

"Shut up. I mean 'goodbye'. No goodbyes until tomorrow."

He nods, a sad look on his face. "Right."

As the two of you begin to fall asleep, you look up at him. "Hey, Matthew..."

"Mhm?" he says groggily.

"I love you too."

A smile creeps onto his lips as he opens his eyes. "I love you."

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @v-i-o-l-e-t <3

[demadogs]

i just think itd be really fucking juicy if mike gets vecna’d and vecna uses “friends dont lie” against him by saying hes been lying his whole life to everyone he knows and mike is denying it and telling him to stop and then vecna says…. “is not my fault you dont like girls” and THATS the line that reveals to the audience that mike is gay

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contains: mentions of sex, oral (F receiving)

Part Twenty- Two

The night I left her crying at the party, guilt gnawing on my stomach seems like it was ages ago now.

It’s only been two weeks since we officially made up and decided to cut the bullshit, but it’s been a pretty great two weeks. Unfortunately, work drug me across the country from her for a good fraction of the fourteen days, but we’re trying to make up for it now.

We’re laying on my couch, watching reruns of one of Jade’s favorite shows. I’m not much of a fan, but she likes it, so I watch it.

Taking our relationship at a slower level has its moments of difficulty, but it’s been pretty healthy. Of course, when we’re kissing and her lips trail down to my neck, I want to lay her down and kiss every inch of her body and a lot more that I shouldn’t speak of. But I know this is what’s best. Or at least I’m pretty damn sure it’s what’s best.

I’m not one to sleep with people quickly after starting a relationship anyway. I’ve only been in two relationships, and one of them hardly lasted long enough to develop a super intimate sexual connection.

But ever since I’ve realized my attraction to Jade, and I don’t just mean physically, I’ve been craving her. Craving to see her in a way nobody else has. Craving to touch her in a way nobody else has. Craving to be touched by her. To be seen by her. Really seen.

That takes vulnerability, though, and if I’ve been taught anything by what I’ve been through and seen in my 28 years of living, it’s that vulnerability is not something to just wear on your sleeve. It’s taken advantage of. It’s used. It’s thrown in your face. It’s not that I don’t trust Jade. I just can’t be that vulnerable with her yet.

She sits up from her position with her head on my shoulder. She looks at me.

“What?” I ask, a smile on my face.

“I’m bored.”

“Sorry I’m not entertaining?”

She rolls her eyes playfully. “I want to do something.”

“Like what?” I ask her.

“You could teach me more about chess?”

I chuckle softly. “You must be really bored.”

She smiles and leads me to my room. I hold her hand as we walk.

I grab the box I keep my chess set in and set it on the bed, the two of us sitting on either side. I set it up since she’s still not exactly certain on how the game works.

I feel her eyes on me, and a faint blush creeps up onto my cheeks.

“You remember what to do?” I ask her, glancing up to look at her.

“Sort of,” she admits as she makes her first move. Jade looks up at me for approval, and I nod my head with a smile. Her cheeks flush.

It’s moments like these where I want to keep her protected, sealed away where no one can’t taint her. She’s perfectly beautiful. On the other hand, her shy blushes and sweet grins make me want to rip all her clothes off and touch every inch of her.

I hate having these thoughts, but she seems to make me crazy.

“I think you’re pretending to not know what to do because you like when I teach you,” Spencer says, a sly grin on his face.

“You’ve caught me, Dr. Reid,” I laugh softly, tossing my hands up in the air like I’ve been caught by the police. In a way, I guess I have.

He smiles, rolling his eyes.

“You’re hot when you’re focused and all authoritative. It’s hard to remember which pieces move where when you’re across from me,” I tell him with a sigh.

Spencer’s cheeks flush red, and he tries to contain his smile. His efforts are useless. “Do you not want to keep playing?”

“You might as well hurry up and beat me,” I chuckle.

“Hey, you could have a chance.”

“Don’t lie to me, doc.”

“Let’s make a deal to get you more motivated, huh? How about if you win, I’ll take you out to lunch anywhere you want.”

“And if you win?” My eyebrow raises as I question him.

“We’ll keep that TBD.”

“Alright then,” I shrug, making my next move.

The fortunate side of Spencer’s impeccable skills are that even though I lost, he put me out of my misery pretty quickly.

“Name your prize, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer looks at me with a change of expression. His gloating smile shifts into a look of desire. It makes my stomach flutter.

He pulls me into him, kissing me slowly. He tastes like coffee. The way-too-sugary coffee that he drinks every morning.

I smile against his lips, holding his arms as his hands hold mine too.

“The knight is being lodged into my stomach, Spence,” I laugh softly, pulling away from our kiss.

“Oh right. Sorry,” he laughs awkwardly and pushes the chess board and pieces off the bed, making sure nothing breaks before returning to kissing me.

Hands begin to roam, and kisses become deeper and sloppier. I moan against his lips softly as his hand cups my clothed chest.

“Spencer,” I pull away, our lips not even an inch away.

“I know, baby,” he says.

He knows I crave him. My body feels like it’s on fire every time we touch, especially since it knows it can’t feel him like that yet.

I pull him back down, lips attaching to his. The tension between us heats up again quickly. I’m laying down with my back against the pillows now, Spencer hovering above me. His lips find their way to my jaw then to my neck, sucking softly on the skin. I can tell his hands want to roam further. But they stay on my hips for now.

A soft moan releases from me as he continues to leave little marks on my neck.

Abruptly, he pulls away, honey eyes staring down at mine. “I want to touch you,” he says, a hint of a restrained whine in his voice.

“Touch me,” I say in almost a whisper.

“Jade,” he sighs.

“I know we’re not having sex yet. But you said that we could other stuff. And that stuff entails?”

He knows my question is rhetorical. He thinks for a second, biting his lip. “You’re sure?”

“I want to do whatever you want,” I tell him.

His lips find their way back to mine, his hunger evident on his tongue. It feels like hours until his hand is slipping under the waistband of my underwear.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” I nod, slightly nervous but turned on.

“No one’s fingers have ever been down here before?” Spencer asks this question in a way that makes me sure he’s not teasing me or making fun.

“Only my own,” I answer.

He smiles faintly before kissing me again. My mouth hangs open against his as I feel his fingers brush against my clit.

“You’re already so wet,” he observes, a proud grin on his face.

He circles his fingers around my bundle of nerves once before pulling his hand away.

I whine, looking up at him with a frown.

“Be patient,” Spencer says softly, kissing my forehead.

His hands work at the button of my jeans before slipping them down and off of my legs. His fingers loop underneath the waistband of my underwear before he looks up at me for permission.

I nod. “You can take them off.” I’m feeling incredibly nervous right now because he’s the first person to have seen me like this. But he makes me feel safe too. I just don’t exactly know what to expect.

“What do I have permission to do?” Spencer asks, looking up at me from his spot close to my now bare center.

“Uh- anything. I guess.”

“You guess?” He furrows his eyebrows.

“Whatever you want.”

“I want to taste you,” he says.

Wow. Just his words alone sent a wave of pleasure-filled shock through my body. “Okay.”

“You’re sure you’re ready?” He asks, patting my thigh comfortingly. “I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“I’m ready. I want this.”

With my words giving him assurance, his lips find their way to my core. He looks up at me, his honey eyes dark with lust. His gaze flicks back to my cunt, then back to my eyes. I nod, swallowing down my nerves.

The sensation of the contact between his tongue and my clit make me gasp. The movements he makes are slow, gentle. He’s easing me into it. Spencer’s tongue licks up me again, drawing a small noise from my throat. After a moment, the flicking of his tongue against my clit quicken.

Holy fuck.

I’m squirming. I can’t help it. It’s a lot. I squeeze my eyes shut as my heart slams against my chest.

“Stop,” I breathe out.

I don’t have time to even get another inhale of oxygen before his mouth is away from me. He’s looking up at my face, worry stitched into his eyebrows.

“Are you okay? I did I hurt you?” Spencer asks, almost shameful.

“N-no,” I assure him. “No, it’s just too much. I need a minute.”

He sits up, his hand on my knee gently. He’s looking down at his hand, looking like he feels guilty. “Yeah, of course. We’ll stop, we could-“

I’m shaking my head when his eyes meet mine again. “I want to do this. Can we just-“

“Are you sure? I can take you home or we could watch a movie.” His words are gentle.

“I want to do this,” I repeat. “I’m good now, I just needed a second, a short break.” I laugh softly, nervously.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,” I say with a slight smile.

His hands squeeze my thighs gently as he gets back into his previous, pre-intervention position. “Just relax, okay? I’ve got you.”

I take a deep breath, letting his words soothe me. The gentle licks across my center return, and I close my eyes, letting myself enjoy it.

It feels good. Really good. Especially when his tongue does that quick flicking across the bundle of nerves between my legs.

A whine releases from my lips. I keep my eyes closed, trying to relax, just like he said.

“Fuck,” I moan. The sucking. Holy shit.

It’s a lot. Too much. How am I supposed to relax when he’s making my legs shake with his mouth on me?

Whines are drawn from my lips as he continues. He’s sucking on my clit, occasionally swirling his tongue across it.

I open my eyes to see his staring up at mine. He looks pleased. I draw my lip between my teeth, biting down in attempt to quiet myself. My efforts are useless.

Spencer’s hands grip my thighs, and something changes in his demeanor. He’s devouring me now, like he’s been starving his whole life, and I’m the only fuel he needs.

My moans have grown desperate and loud. He has to force my hips down just so I can stay still for him.

“Spencer,” I whine. “Fuck, Spence.”

“Relax,” he says gently before returning to his mission.

The sight of him going down on me makes me dizzy, and, god, I never knew the sounds of this could be so sexy. The knot in my stomach tightens with each movement of his lips; it’s begging for release.

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” Spencer tells me, his breath making contact with my sensitive clit before his mouth returns to it.

It doesn’t take much longer for the world around me to blur. My entire body, every little muscle tenses up. I feel like I’m practically yelling his name as I finally let go. The tension in my stomach releases, my heart slams against my rib cage.

I just lie there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, my chest rising and falling quickly.

“Jade,” Spencer’s voice says, but it’s distant. “Are you okay?” His face appears above mine.

“Holy fuck,” I breathe out.

He laughs softly, a blush on his cheeks. His lips are wet. He wipes off the drool. “I’m taking that as a yes…?”

“Oh my god, Spencer,” I say, sitting up. “All that rambling on about interesting facts really paid off. You’re good with your mouth.”

Spencer shakes his head. He leans in and plants a kiss to my lips. I deepen it, taking his bottom lip inside my mouth. I taste myself on him.

“Can I confess something?” He asks, his hand cupping my cheek.

I nod, my eyes getting lost in his. A pool of honey, holding me hostage like a fly.

“I’ve never done that before either,” he whispers.

“Really?” I ask, shocked. Spencer nods.

“You couldn’t tell. It was amazing, but then again I don’t have anyone else to compare it to, so your performance could’ve been mediocre,” I tease.

“I don’t think mediocre has ever made someone moan like that,” he retorts.

I face palm, cheeks turning scarlet.

“C’mon, I was just teasing,” he grins. “Don’t be embarrassed.” Spencer removes my palm from my face, revealing my blush.

He reaches up to brush a stray piece of hair out of my face. “You’re so beautiful like this.”

“Stop,” I laugh softly.

“I’m serious,” he says, and his tone of voice backs up his words. “Let’s go get lunch.”

“But-?” I start, looking down at his lap. I should return the favor, right?

“I did just have a pretty good meal, but I’m hungry. I’m sure you’re hungry too,” Spencer laughs softly.

I shake my head, the crimson creeping back up onto my cheeks.

part 23

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contains: mentions of alcohol, angst, talk of virginity

Chapter Twenty-One

As much as I want to stay at this party to prove to Spencer (or really myself) that I’m fine after all that just happened, I leave pretty quickly after he does.

The uber drops me off at my dad’s apartment, well I guess it’s mine too now, and I try to get in as quietly as I possibly can. My efforts are quickly seen to be pointless when I nearly scream from shock at the sight of my father on the couch, mug in hand, laptop on his lap.

“Shit, Dad,” I breathe, holding my heart dramatically from the adrenaline of the shock.

“You’re really good at greeting people,” he jokes, but there’s no smile on his face or even in his eyes.

I lock the door and hang up my keys on the hook before slipping out of my shoes and leaving them by the door to be taken care of later.

“Everything okay?” I ask as I sit down next to him.

It’s well past midnight and the bags under his eyes are more prominent than before, so I already know the answer, and he knows that.

But he lies anyway. It must be instinct for him. “Yeah,” he nods, patting my knee for a second.

“Dad,” I raise my eyebrows giving him a look that lets him know I don’t want to hear his bullshit.

“You look just like your mother when you’re upset with me,” he says with a slight, unamused chuckle.

I frown, leaning my head on his shoulder. “I may be your kid, but I’m also an adult. You can talk to me.”

He rests his head on top of mine, kissing my temple like he used to do when I was young. “It’s just case work, bug. Nothing you need to worry about.”

Bug. He hasn’t called me that in years, maybe even a decade. When I was little, Mom would call be Jadie Bug which I pretended to hate because I did not want to be compared to a stink bug. My dad shortened it to just bug. Which I wasn’t too fond of but secretly loved.

“If you say so,” I sigh, not leaving his side. “You really should sleep. It’s not healthy to be up this late staring at a computer screen.”

“But it’s healthy to be up this late drinking?” His tone isn’t judgmental, just observant.

“My young body and mind is built for late nights. Yours, however, is not.”

“Are you calling me old?” A real chuckle releases from him.

“If the shoe fits, grandpa.”

“Ah. I better not be a grandpa anytime soon,” he grimaces.

“At this rate in my love life and school career, Jack will be the first of us to have kids.”

My dad smiles, ruffling my hair. “Good. You’re going to make an awesome lawyer, and although kids are amazing, I want you to focus on your career.”

“Trust me, Dad. I am,” I say with a slight grin.

It’s not like I’m ever going to move past second base with anyone at this point. Spencer pops into my head, and honestly, it just pisses me off.

“Do you regret having me so young?” I ask.

My father looks at me a little hurt. “Of course not. Having a baby made it hard to go to university, but I don’t regret having you at all. Neither did Haley.”

I nod, a faint smile on my face. “Get some sleep.” I kiss my father’s cheek quickly before getting off the couch and heading up to my room.

—

I honestly can’t believe that just happened. But I’m laying in bed with an anxiety and guilt ridden stomach ache with Jade not here, so it definitely did.

God, her face when she asked “What’s wrong with me?” Sent a dagger through my heart. She looked so hurt, confused.

And I did that. I never wanted to do that to anyone, especially not her. She’s Jade. She’s a precious gemstone. A perfect flower that needs to remain unplucked in order to continue to flourish. And she’s by boss’s daughter.

Every muscle in my body was screaming at me to turn around and not walk out of that house, but she wasn’t to be argued with. Her mind was set on her staying and me leaving. So I did.

I feel like such a fucking jackass. Not only did she think that somehow this is her fault, but I also can’t even begin to explain this whole situation to myself, let alone to her.

Every self righteous, carefully thought out bone in my body tells me that I can’t give into temptation. I can’t give into her.

I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like there’s always been that voice inside my head that yells at me when I even think something wrong. I’m a genius. A prodigy. Everything I do is supposed to be perfect. There’s no possible way that I could be what she needs, so I can’t ruin her.

I don’t call her until after the sun comes home. I’m hoping she got some rest. I don’t want to bother her because I know she’s upset, but I want to know she made it home okay.

She doesn’t answer. But at least the phone rings all four times, so at least she’s not declining my call. After the beep, I say, “Hey. I know you don’t want to talk after last night, but I wanted to know if you’re okay. Call me back… if you want to. Um, that’s all. Bye.”

I’d like to think she’s still asleep and that’s why she didn’t pick up, but I’m very aware of the possibility that she just didn’t want to talk to me. It’s understandable. I just wish I could fix this.

As much as I would rather focus on Jade right now, it’s pointless to dwell on last night when she won’t even talk to me. I also have work. Probably, hopefully, not a case. It should just be paperwork.

—

I would tease him for leaving a voicemail instead of texting like a normal twenty-something year old, but I’m not in the mood for teasing. I’m not in the mood to text him that I’m okay, and I’m definitely not in the mood to call him back.

I can’t be mad at him for not wanting to sleep with me, and I’m really not. I don’t really know what I’m feeling, but I do know that mad isn’t even close. I’m more so disappointed, I guess. Disappointed in the whole situation and in myself for getting drunk and practically begging him to fuck me. Which now that I’m really thinking about it is so wrong and embarrassing that I want to curl up in a hole and live there until I’m food for the worms to eat.

I know I was pretty drunk, but that doesn’t keep the embarrassment and recoil from twisting in my stomach. I think if 17 year old me had witnessed last night, she’d want to smother me with my pillow. Hell, I now want to smother myself with my pillow.

Even though I’m disgusted, embarrassed, and upset from last night, I still think he deserves the right to know I didn’t pass out in a pool of my own vomit at the party. Or worse.

So I text Spencer.

“I made it home fine. No need to worry.”

He’s at work, so I know he won’t see the message for a while.

Instead of beating myself up over last night, I put my energy into making Jack and myself breakfast.

“I’m glad to hear that. I know you probably, definitely, don’t want to talk to me… but can we please talk later?”

I sigh as I read the message on my phone.

“Bad news?” Jack asks like he’s some type of grown man reading my facial expressions.

“No,” I laugh softly, ruffling his hair. “Just a friend asking a favor.”

“What’s a favor?”

“It’s like when someone asks you to do something for them. Like if I were to ask you to put my plate in the sink.”

“Why would I do that?” He asks.

“Because I’m your big sister, and you love me.”

The kid shrugs and takes both of our plates to the sink. He can’t reach the faucet yet, but the effort is appreciated.

“Do you want to go out with us? I promised Jack I’d take him to Mr. Gatti’s tonight for pizza and games,” my father asks me when he’s home.

“Unfortunately, I will have to skip out on the stomach-destroying food and thousands of children running around,” I tell him.

“On the account of?”

“On the account of my sanity.”

He laughs, shrugging in understanding. “Want money to order out?”

“I would never turn down money, Dad.”

After an hour or so, my dad and brother leave to go to dinner. Knowing how much of a sucker my father is for the puppy dog eyes Jack has mastered the art of, thanks to me, they’ll be gone for at least two and a half hours.

There’s a knock on the front door, and I get up to answer it.

“Oh-” I’m a little shocked to see Spencer at my door. “I forgot to respond to your message, sorry.”

I’m not sure why I’m apologizing for that, but here I am.

“It’s okay. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. That um…”

I know what he’s going to say. “That we’re okay.” But are we?

“I’m okay, Spencer,” I tell him, nodding.

“I’m really sorry,” he says.

He’s the first to say it. Once again, I’m fucking stubborn.

“Yeah. Me too,” I say, not looking him in the eyes.

“You don’t have any-“

“Yes I do, Spencer. I really do.” I run my hands through my hair with a sigh. “Who the hell freaks out over someone not sleeping with them? I feel like some cocky frat boy.”

Spencer smiles softly, his dimples catching my attention. “You’re a lot prettier than a cocky frat boy. And smarter.”

“Not the point. I’m sorry for last night. For being a drunken idiot,” I tell him.

“I wasn’t exactly the smartest either. I’m sorry for making you feel shitty.”

I let him into the apartment, plopping down on the arm of the couch as he stays standing. “I never said I felt shitty,” I say, trying to make myself seem cooler and as if he doesn’t have an affect over me. But he gives me a look. “I hate you profilers so much.”

“Can we just move past this?” He asks, his hazel eyes filled with a bit of hope.

“I want to, Spencer. But I can’t help but think that this is because of me,” I tell him.

“Jade,” he sighs, his bottom lip drawn between his teeth.

“Just forget it,” I say, not wanting to put in the effort for this conversation.

“No,” he says. “You’re right. I just… I don’t know how to explain it without sounding-” Spencer stops talking. “It’s just that it would just seem weird because you’re a…”

Oh my god, he can’t even say it. I’m about to die of embarrassment. And anger.

“You said it wasn’t about me! If there’s something wrong with me, just fucking say it, Spencer.”

“You’re a virgin!”

I knew that’s what he was going to say, but it still stings.

“You don’t want me because I haven’t had sex before? That’s all kinds of fucked up, Spencer.”

“It’s not that… I- I can’t be your first. It would be so disappointing.”

My face contorts with confusion. Is he bullshitting me? “You’re worried about your performance?”

“No, Jade. I’m worried about not being what you expect,” he says, an expression I can’t quite read written all over his face. “I’m not what you need.”

“I don’t…” I take a breath, not even sure what the hell to say. “I don’t need anyone, Spencer. You’re right, you’re not what I need.”

His eyebrows pinch together and raise at the same time. He’s hurt. I can read that.

“Oh. Right,” he says. “I’m sorry I showed up unannounced.”

“Wait, Spencer. That sort of came out wrong. I don’t need you. But I want you. I’ve wanted you for fucking years. I never thought I’d have a chance, so this… It’s all just been so much. But if you actually like me, then I’m okay with taking it slow. It’s probably for the best anyway.”

A small smile creeps up onto his face. “Are you serious?”

“Law school hasn’t taught me to be good at lying yet,” I joke. “You don’t have to feel like you’re not good enough or whatever the hell you’re thinking in that confusing brain of yours. And I don’t care if us being together is technically wrong. I don’t give a fuck what’s wrong because I want you.”

Spencer offers his hand out to me, and I let him pull me up to my feet. His hands hold my hips as he looks down at me.

“So are we good?” I ask, biting my lip.

“We’re more than good,” he smiles, pulling me closer. “I want you too. And I want to do this whole thing right. So no sex yet.”

“If that’s what you want,” I nod, my hands rubbing his shoulders.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other stuff whenever you’re comfortable with it,” Spencer says, leaning down to kiss me.

I return the gentle kiss before pulling away. “Like what?”

“Like things that seem too inappropriate to say out loud in a living room where I can see toys,” he says with a slight laugh.

I still hold onto him but turn around. “Right. I need to clean up.”

“Not right now I hope,” Spencer says with his puppy dog eyes.

“Nah, not right now. We have another hour-ish to make out in my room if you want,” I suggest with a hopeful grin.

“Yes please,” he nods, messy hair falling into his face.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

18+ story

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Honey, I'm homeee."

"You don't live here."

"Way to kill my vibe, Y/n," Matthew says, shutting your front door.

You smile, standing up to kiss him before going to the kitchen.

"Welp, I don't know what to do with my life now."

Criminal Minds season 16 was officially wrapped as of last night.

"Hang out with me," you smile, turning to face him.

"Well duh."

These past few weeks with Matthew have been a dream- strange, but lovely. You still tease each other of course, but it's filled with humor rather than laced with venom as before.

He's fun and exciting, he takes you out on dates on whim, he's so much more affectionate that you'd thought. You can't stay mad at him for long, the dimples on his sweet face just melt away your frustration. The past month has been perfect. You're happier than ever.

"I think wrapping calls for celebratory sex, don't you?"

You turn back around to face him, expressing a shocked look on your face.

"That's highly inappropriate of you, Gubler."

"Ah last name," he says, wrapping his arms around your hips. "But I'll ignore it for a kiss."

You roll your eyes playfully and press your lips to his. It's slow and gentle until it's not. You end up with your back against the wall, his face above yours, lips pulling and sucking on each other's.

The two of you haven't slept together much since you started dating. He wanted to show you that he's not just it in for the physical stuff.

One day on set, in between scenes, his lips grazed your ear as he whispered, "I found ropes in the storage room. If you want to sneak away." You'd known you couldn't right then, and the feeling of his breath on your skin sent a wave of goosebumps down your body. You stayed quiet, looking forward, forcing your body to calm down.

When you'd finally gotten the chance, you pulled him by the hand, dragging him into the supply closet.

He chuckled softly and opened his mouth to say something.

"Shut up," you said, pressing your lips to his roughly.

Now, his lips roam your body as you lie on the couch. Your hands tangle into his hair, tugging at the curls. A moan leaves your mouth, and you bite your lip to quiet yourself as his tongue flicks against you. You pull his hair at the sensation that consumes your body.

_____

"Hello?... this Y/n," you answer your phone, slipping into your bedroom so you don't wake Matthew up. "Wait really? Oh my gosh!... yes.... yes.... thank you!.... wait what?... London? I thought it was in San Francisco!... I see.... I'll get back to you by the weekend, yes.... thanks." You hang up the call, sitting on your bed with your head hung down.

"Hey, darling," Matthew says, walking into your room. He's wearing his jeans again. "I was thinking we could go out for dinner tonight? There's this new sushi place I want to try- are you alright?"

You look up at him. "Yeah, I'm great. Sushi? Sounds lovely."

"Great," he smiles, dimples prominent against his cheeks. "I will pick you up at 8, I have an errand to run with Steve today."

Steve is Paget's husband, Matthew's friend.  You nod. "Okay," you shoot him a smile.

"I will see you later, beautiful." Matthew kisses your head then heads back into your living room to finish getting dressed. You here the door close shortly after.

London? Holy shit.

You didn't tell Matthew at dinner the other day, and you haven't told him now. The deadline for your answer is tonight. In simple terms, you're freaking the fuck out.

How do you even bring up the subject? Hey, Matthew, I'm leaving the country in a few weeks. Sorry! Doesn't seem fitting. So drinks it is.

He'll be walking through your door in about twenty minutes, and you're trying to muster up a sentence. But how can you tell your boyfriend what's going on when you don't entirely know what's going on? You're not even sure you're going to go.

You sigh, getting the wine out of the cooler and placing it on the table. You made dinner, well tried to make dinner, but it seems edible enough.

You change shirts, seeing that you got spaghetti sauce on the one you were in. You're now wearing a red tank with a grey cardigan, that you stole from Matthew without him knowing, and black leggings that you've had on since this morning.

Maybe a part of you is on edge because you're not sure what would happen if you did choose to leave, you think. And maybe it's because no one knows if you'll get picked up for another season.

As you walk back out of your room, Matthew walks in the door with a smile plastered on his adorable face. "Smells good. Burned, but good."

You laugh softly, worry and sadness laced into it. "Yeah, I forgot to set the timer for 30 instead of 40. Sorry."

"Burned or not, I'm sure it'll be great."

You flash him a smile before sitting down at your dining area table. You put some of the lasagna on a plate for him, then for you, and pour yourselves some wine.

"Ooh she‘a fancy," Matthew says with a chuckle.

"You're a dork."

"Maybe, but you like it," he winks at you.

"Eh," you say and he acts offended.

The two of you eat dinner, mostly in a comfortable silence.

"It's horrible isn't it?"

"No!" Matthew says, grabbing your hand. "I'm definitely a better cook than you, but it is not bad."

You roll your eyes playfully. "I knew I should've suckered you into cooking."

He smiles, taking a drink from his glass. You can't help but return the gesture, his smile is contagious, dimples, bright teeth, honey eyes squinting slightly.

"So," you breathe, "I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay. I'm all ears."

"A few months ago I auditioned for this movie. I didn't really think I'd ever get the part, so I almost forgot about it. Until I got a callback right before we wrapped. And I found out that the part is mine..."

"Y/n, that's amazing!" Matthew smiles, squeezing your hand.

"If I want it."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"It shoots in London. I'd have to leave in three weeks," your expression gets even sadder as you watch his face fall.

"Oh," he says, furrowing his eyebrows softly.

"But I don't think I'm going to take it."

"Y/n-"

"I don't want to leave you. I mean, we just got to a happy point with each other. What if leaving for four months changes that?"

"Y/n, you need to take this job. It's an amazing opportunity, and I can tell you want to do it,” Matthew says.

"But-"

"We'll be fine. I'm not going to stop loving you because you're 5 thousand miles away."

Loving. He said the L word.

You avert your gaze from the table to his eyes. "You love me?" You almost say it in a whisper.

"Of course I do."

Your lips perk up at the corners. "But what if-"

"If you want this role, you should have it. Nothing should stop you from doing what you love."

It's your turn to furrow your eyebrows now. You sigh. "I'll call them and tell them I'm ready for the full script then."

Matthew smiles. "Great. I'm really happy for you."

You hug him, sitting in his lap. "Thank you."

"For the record, I better get calls every damn day while you're gone."

You laugh softly. "Oh don't doubt for a second I won't bug you from another country."

_____

You're sitting on your couch, reading the script when Matthew walks into your apartment.

"You still never learned to knock, huh babe?"

He laughs, plopping onto the couch beside you. "Nope."

You smile, eyes still scanning the words on the pages before you.

"One week before you leave me forever."

"You're so dramatic, Gube."

"I know," he says as sweetly as he can. "I'm going to miss you."

You toss the script on the coffee table. "Nope. None of that. No sappy pre-goodbyes yet. One normal week before we actually have to say goodbye, okay?"

Matthew nods. "Okay. So we can't have hot goodbye sex?"

"Matthew!" Your eyes widen as you smile toward him. "Okay fine, we can have hot goodbye sex. In a week."

"Damn, that's cold."

This movie is anticipated to be a big hit. Your character, Carter, is a 28 year old med student, studying abroad for the semester. She meets this girl and they become instant friends, until they become more. It's supposed to be an adventurous and sweet film.

_____

The dreaded goodbye is approaching quicker than you'd appreciate. Of course, you're excited about this part, excited to see London for the first time, and excited to be getting more successful, but it stings at your chest to know you have to leave your friends, your family, and Matthew behind for a while. It's not like he can come with you either. He might miss a job opportunity and he has a few book signings coming up.

You wish you stretch out the week, but it decides to blow past you like a nascar driver.

Tomorrow. You leave tomorrow.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lovejules888 @marimorena06 <3

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

18+ story

Chapter Twenty-Two

"Is Spencer with you?" The voice on the other end of Delilah's phone belongs to Emily Prentiss.

"No. He texted me that he was leaving for work an hour ago." Delilah's voice is filled with concern and confusion.

"He's not here. Do you mind coming to Quantico?"

She nods, and realizes Emily can't see her. “Yeah. Yes of course."

Delilah tells her assistant she'll be late for work today. She gets into her car and drives to FBI Headquarters.

"What's going on?" Delilah says, more to herself than the team.

"It's not like him to sleep in. I don't think in the 18 years I’ve known this man that he was ever slept in," JJ says. "Or fall back asleep."

"Should I be worried? Because I'm worried."

"It's okay, we'll get to the bottom of this," Alvez says to Delilah.

Garcia tracks his phone, impressing Delilah immensely by her skills.

"She's like basically a wizard," Luke says with a slight smile.

Delilah nods, smiling back as much as she can.

"A hot wizard," Penelope corrects him. "Last place his phone was on was a few miles from his apartment."

Delilah furrows her eyebrows. "He turned it off?"

"Someone did," Matt says, crossing his arms.

"None of us know anything about someone who seemed threatening in his life, do you?" Emily asks Delilah, sitting her down. "Anything is useful."

"No. No, things were perfectly fine as far as I know," she sighs.

"No one seemed to have something out for him. Or even you?"

She shakes her head.

_____

You were back at work for six days now. Well, the show was back to filming, Delilah wasn't on this episode until the end. While your boyfriend, it's still crazy to call Gubler that.... while Matthew was filming with the others, you stayed at your place and decided to clean up a bit to occupy your time. Your playlist blared as you cleaned your closet. New Year's Day started replaying in your head, and you stop what you’re doing, smiling to yourself. New Year's day, you’d woken up with a slight hangover, Matthew's chest under your head.

A part of you had thought you dreamt up the whole night before. You smile, not wanting to leave the bed ever again, but you did leave the bed. You put on a pot of coffee and then went to the restroom to brush your teeth.

"I thought you bailed on me, then I remember we're in your apartment," Matthew says with a soft laugh.

"There's coffee in the kitchen," you smile.

He pulls your back to his chest and kisses your head. "Thank you." Matthew leaves to go into your kitchen so you could finish up. You rinse your mouth and go to join him.

The two of you sit on the couch. You put your legs on his lap, leaning back into the cushions. He rests a hand on your calf, rubbing your leg gently.

"I hate when Aisha's right," you grunt, rolling your eyes.

"What?" He laughs, eyes questioning you.

"She told me a while back that the reason we fought all the time was because I was hiding my feelings for you."

A small smile grew on his face. “Adam told me the same thing."

"How annoying of them," you say, finishing your coffee.

"Damn girl," he laughs. “Want some more?"

"Yes please. Anything to get rid of this dumb headache."

"Maybe you should've had drunk so much last night."

You point a finger at him. "Hey, my drinking got us together."

He laughs softly, standing up to refill your cup.

You watch as he walks to your kitchen and pours some more coffee, putting in just the right amount of ice and creamer. He does pay attention. You smile. This is a sight you'd never thought you'd enjoy so much, Matthew messy-haired and still sleepy in your apartment.

_____

"Wait. My new assistant has been kind of... strange."

"Strange how?"

"I catch her looking into my office window sometimes m, she stole my perfume one day, and my receptionist told me one day she just left work out of the.... holy shit."

"What?"

"Spencer was there that day. He had just left to meet me at the coffee shop while I was finishing up. That's the day Jenna left work. Like ten minutes after Spencer."

"I think we have a lead."

"Oh my god. I can't believe this..."

"It's not your fault, Delilah."

"I hired her," Delilah says, running her hand though her hair.

"It's not your fault."

Garcia asks Delilah for her assistant's name. "Ah yes, okay she's from Miami, Florida, 31 years old. Lemme check her phone records."

Delilah watches as Penelope types away. "Okay so no phone calls were made today, but there's one from 11:38 last night to a Kendrick Omar, actually there's hundreds of calls to this number from the past three months. Does that name ring a bell?"

Omar. The last name of the guy who kidnapped Delilah and her father and killed him.

"We profiled that Omar's true intentions were to get Delilah, right?" Luke asks.

Emily nods. "Maybe he has a brother that didn't show up on his records."

"So you're saying the guy who kidnapped and killed my father, the guy you shot, might've taken Spencer?"

Concerned and serious looks are shared between the team.

Delilah sighs audibly. "I did a background check. Hell, I did two background checks on this woman."

JJ touches her arm lightly. "We're going to find him."

Delilah nods, closing her eyes.

The team works together, having Delilah stay in the building for psychological and protective reasons. Garcia types away at her keyboard, working her magic.

After an hour, Prentiss tells Delilah "We've pieced together that Jenna is obsessed with you. She wants you for herself, the same weird fantasy that Omar had. They'd met you through your dad and you most likely remind them of their first victim. Spencer got in the way of her having you. Jealousy overtook her, so she retaliated. This could also be a lure for you."

Delilah wonders if she looks as sick as she feels. She nods to Emily.

"I have an address. There's a house ten miles outside of town that's in Kendrick Omar's name," Penelope says.

"I'm going with you."

"No you're not," Luke says, more concerned than sternly.

"Yes I am. If this is a lure, then let them lure me in. I trust you guys will be there to protect me. Plus, if I'm part of their fantasy, then they won't actually hurt me." Delilah folds her arms. "I need to be there when we get Spencer back."

"She's smart," Matt says.

"Okay," Prentiss sighs, "We'll get got a vest to wear under your shirt."

Delilah nods, biting her lip anxiously.

Soon enough, they pile into an suv, driving to the address Penelope gave them.

"I should go in alone," Delilah says. "I don't doubt they'd hurt Spencer if they saw FBI with me."

"We'll go around back." Emily grabs Delilah's hand. "Be careful."

Delilah nods and gets out of the suv.

"Jenna?" Delilah calls, walking in slowly.

"Oh good you're here," Jenna smiles, walking to the line of vision. She's holding a gun in her right hand. "I wasn't sure if this would work. I was actually sort of hoping you wouldn't want to save him."

"Kidnapping an FBI agent isn't the brightest idea, Jenna."

"That's exactly what Kendrick said," she smiles devilishly, "then I shot him."

"Why did you do this?"

"Why do you think? I did it for you, silly. For us."

Delilah takes in a sharp breath. Why go through all the trouble? Why not just tell me? We could've had a life together without hurting anyone."

The look in her eyes changes. "Would that have worked?"

Delilah nods. "Just let Spencer go, and I'll go wherever you want with you."

"Come with me," she holds her hand out to Delilah. She takes it.

Jenna leads her to a room where Spencer is tied to a chair. He's clearly been given a sedative and his head is bloody. He averts his gaze upwards to Delilah, eyes showing signs of relief and joy at the sight of her.

"I want you to say it in front of him."

"Say what?"

Jenna glares at Delilah. "What you said earlier. How you want a life with me."

Delilah looks to Spencer, then to Jenna. "I love you, and I want to be with you."

"Now say it to him," she gestures to Spencer with her gun.

Delilah looks down then into Spencer's eyes. "I want to be with her. I don't love you."

Delilah then smiles to Jenna, trying desperately to get her to let him go.

Jenna sighs, looking annoyed and angry. "I wish I believed that, sweetheart.”

"But I-"

Jenna slaps her across the face. "You're lying."

"I'm not. I promise I'm not. Just let him go and we can leave. Together." Delilah pleads, holding her face.

"If you don't love him, then you'll shoot him yourself."

"What?" Her eyes widen.

"Go on," Jenna hands her the gun.

"We don't have to hurt anybody. There's no need to hurt anybody."

"You're really pissing me off. Just pull the damn trigger."

Delilah points the gun at Spencer, tears pricking at her eyes. The team was already in the house, she knew that. Delilah drops her aim to the ground.

"Fuck, I'll do it," Jenna goes to grab the gun, but before she can, Delilah shoots her in the stomach.

Her eyes widen as she falls. Blood spills onto the floor in front of Delilah's eyes. Emily and Luke rush into the room, the others following behind. There's looks of relief in their eyes as they see it was Jenna on the ground and not Delilah or Spencer.

Delilah's vision is blurry and her ears ring as Spencer is being untied. Tears fall from her eyes. She had walked away from them, barely even noticing she did so. She feels a touch on her arms and she jumps slightly.

"Hey, it's okay." The voice belongs to Spencer.

"I shot someone..."

The medics were already arriving, getting Jenna onto a stretcher. She's alive, losing a lot of blood, but alive.

"You saved my life."

Delilah turns so her head was against his chest. She cries into him, holding on to his shirt. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"I know. I know, baby. I'm okay."

"For what it's worth, you were brave as hell," Emily says to Delilah on their way to the suv. Delilah's walking beside Spencer with her head hanging low. She nods to Emily, mustering up a slight smile.

_____

"I'm sorry you had to do that," Spencer breaks the silence while they're sitting on the couch.

Delilah nods. "I'm just glad you're okay. Maybe this is finally all over for us.”

"I hope so," Spencer smiled, grabbing her hand. "I love you."

"I love you," she says, leaning her head on his shoulder.

He has a slight concussion that the doctors told him to watch out for, but other than that he's alright.

You just finished filming your last episode of season 16. It's a crazy feeling. Right now, it's almost 12am and you're sitting on Matthew's actor chair while the director talk to you guys.

There's a few more episodes left in the season, but Delilah is off the screen for the rest of it. Jeff tells you to meet in the table read room.

When you walk in, you see the rest of the cast and a few crew members standing around the table. AJ presents you a pan of cupcakes, one reads "that's a wrap".

You smile. "You guys are the best."

All of you dig into the sweets and talk amongst each other. Matthew kisses your temple. "I'll miss bugging you at work."

"Of course you will," you roll your eyes playfully.

After a little over an hour, Matthew drives you home since you carpooled to set anyway.

"How does it feel to be jobless?"

"Ha ha," you say with a smile. "Actually, not bad yet. But I'll definitely be bored soon."

He smiles. "I'm sure you'll find hundreds of projects just itching you cast someone like you."

"And what would that be?" You lean into him.

"Talented, frustrating, and pretty. Among other things."

You smile. "You should get some rest."

"You too."

You kiss Matthew's lips softly. "Goodnight."

He smiles, "Goodnight, Y/n." He leaves your apartment after giving you another kiss.

You smile, turning on your heels to your bedroom.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @lovejules888 @marimorena06 <3

[wrenreid]

Off Limits

contents: angst, grieving, alcohol consumption

Part Twenty

I finally feel a little more normal after the night of wallowing in my sorrows. My emotions are still wonky and yesterday is still on my mind, but at least I feel better.

Spencer texted me when he got up this morning, but I haven’t responded. I’m not entirely in the mood to talk to anyone yet.

Even after (mostly) sleeping through the night, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s holding back because of me. That I’m the problem. That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it? Guys didn’t want to date me because I’m a virgin. Or if they did it wasn’t because of my personality or who I am; it was because I’m a task, something to do then check off a list. Maybe Spencer thinks I’m not even good enough for the list.

I run a hand through my dark hair, sighing softly. I’m overthinking. I’m always overthinking. I can’t just assume something based off of one or two incidents. Maybe he just truly wants to take things slow because he’s not like the guys I’ve known before. I can’t let my own insecurities and self deprecating mind get in the way of something that could actually be good. I need the optimism I had right as we decided to do whatever this relationship is back.

On my way downstairs, I shoot Spencer a good morning response. Dad is currently tightening his tie and grabbing his brief case, which means he has to go into work. They both do.

There shouldn’t be a case today, but they’ll both be busy for the majority of the day, and Jack is currently having a play date with one of his friends until after noon. Time alone.

I decide to spend my time alone binge watching an old favorite tv show from my high school years and finishing up this week’s assignments. It’s Friday, and I only have two classes today. I get my work done pretty fast then start actually paying attention to the tv screen.

CeCe calls me when I’m a solid six episodes into the show. I press pause and pick up the phone, putting her on speaker. We talk for a bit, but I decide against telling her about what happened with me and Spencer.

It’s not that I don’t want to tell her, but I don’t think this is something she needs to know. Or maybe it’s something I don’t want anyone to know. How to I put into words that my whatever he is doesn’t want to sleep with me?

A very tired Jack is dropped off around 1pm. He looks exhausted. The kid really knows how to play until he drops.

I tuck him in for a nap then head back downstairs to grab a snack and continue binge watching. The rest of the weekend consists of family time, binge watching tv, and lazily laying around the apartment.

I miss college life. I miss parties and friends. I’m glad to be home with my family, but I miss the freedom. The life I had when I was in New York. When my mom was still alive.

“How’s your weekend been?” Spencer asks when I go over to his house Sunday evening. He’s probably leaving for a case tomorrow morning, so he wanted to see me before he left.

We haven’t texted much since Thursday night when he rejected me. God, I sound pathetic, but it’s still on my mind.

“It’s been alright. Very lazy,” I answer, only half mentally here. My mind isn’t quite in his apartment. It’s not quite anywhere.

“Are you okay?” His hand touches my knee gently as his soft words reach my ears. I almost flinch, just thinking about how it’s weird to be touched by him when he quite clearly isn’t interested in that.

I nod, half assed. “Yeah.”

“Jade.”

I’m finally snapped out of my distant, mopey daze when his hand reaches under my chin and forces me to look at him. My brown eyes meet his.

“I’m sorry,” I say with a soft sigh. “Things have just been weird.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer asks, his eyes softening and his hand releasing my face.

I shake my head. Then nod. Then shrug. “It’s just… it’s been weird at home. And being at home. I’m craving for things to be the same, but they never will be again. A part of me still thinks that my mom’s death was just some fucked up dream. That I’ll see her again and she’ll tell me none of it was real. That it was just a nightmare.”

Spencer’s eyes flick down to the floor. I know he hates situations like this. Sad. Awkward. He doesn’t know what to say. I hate putting people in this situation. There isn’t a right thing to say. Nothing is going to repair the hole in my chest. Nothing is going to bring my mom back.

“I’m so sorry, Jade,” he says, his words soft and breathy.

I hate apologies. They just make me feel pitied.

“Don’t be,” I say, attempting to swallow down the lump in my throat.

He nods in understanding. “What can I do to make you feel better in this moment?”

“Be normal,” I say then laugh softly, realizing how it sounded. “I mean, just give me a normal night.”

“So no sacrificial rituals? Well, that defeats my plans,” Spencer jokes.

I shake my head but let out another soft laugh. He may be a dork, but I like it.

Spencer pulls me into him for a quick kiss. I smile up at him faintly.

What I really need right now is a distraction. A distraction from all of the shit weighing me down right now. I need him. Him to touch me. To tell me I’m pretty and make me feel good.

But I can’t ask. Not when he said what he said. He doesn’t want to have sex with me. For whatever reasons he’s holding back, I have to respect his wishes. I owe him that. And perhaps using him as a distraction isn’t a good idea anyway. I’m not sure how good it would make me feel after the matter.

My head finds its place on his shoulder as he turns on the tv. We watch whatever comes on, neither of us wanting to give our attention to a movie that we’d actually have to follow along with.

Spencer orders takeout, and we eat on his couch, talking about whatever in between bites. We don’t touch. Not in the way we have been. It’s not a bad thing really, but it just feels weird.

The next couple weeks go on per-usual. I do school work, miss my best friend, distract myself with any form of media that will clog my brain, and wait for Spencer to get home from cases or work so I can see him.

“I’m beginning to think you’re hiding something from me,” my dad says from his place on the couch. He’s reading. Something he hasn’t done too often in a long time.

I turn around to face him with a laugh. “Why?”

He shrugs, playfully, but not quite joking. “You’ve been leaving a lot. Do you have a secret family I don’t know about?”

“Ha. Ha,” I roll my eyes at his lazy attempt at a joke. “I’m just meeting up with some friends. Since CeCe’s in New York, and I’m not anymore, I’ve had to reconnect with old friends. You should be glad I’m not wallowing around the house.”

I didn’t mean it as a jab at him, but he takes it as one. He has every reason to wallow, even if he tries his best to hide it.

My dad nods, shooting me a faint smile. “Have fun. Be safe.”

I grab my bag and give him a thumbs up. “Will do.”

I hate lying to him. Especially since everything that’s happened. I was never a sneaky kid. I hardly ever disobeyed my parents.

But being honest with my father would cause a lot of drama none of us can handle right now. So he’s not in the know. And I’ll just have to get used to the knots in my stomach that form with every lie.

After walking into Spencer’s apartment, I plop down on his couch, laying my head in his lap.

“Hello to you too,” he laughs softly, looking down at me.

Things have finally gone back to normal between us. Or at least I think they have. We haven’t talked about what happened two weeks ago, and I’m very glad about that. I don’t want the awkwardness again. I like what we have right now.

We don’t take things too far. When we kiss or touch, we stay at a comfortable region for us both. We don’t try to venture out into the grey area.

“Hi,” I grin up at him.

His hands play with my hair absentmindedly, twirling some strands around his fingers. “How was your week?”

“Not too bad. It’s getting closer and closer to graduation. I’m almost officially not an undergrad student anymore.”

“They grow up so fast,” Spencer says playfully.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?” He asks, looking down into my eyes.

“Do you feel weird lying about this? About us?”

Spencer’s lips press together for a brief moment. “I haven’t really had to lie.”

“Right,” I nod, sitting up. I situate myself to where I’m facing him, my legs crossed in a pretzel.

“Do you?”

“Kind of,” I admit. “I mean, I know I’m an adult and I don’t owe my dad any explanations, but he’s still my dad. He worries, and I think he’s catching on that I’m doing something.”

Even though technically we aren’t doing anything. Not that at least.

Spencer nods, his eyebrows pinching together. “Do you think he knows about us?”

I shake my head. “No. I don’t even think that would cross his mind. I just… I don’t know. I want things to be normal. My life has been too unnormal.”

“That’s not a word,” he says with a slight smile.

“Not the point,” I glare.

“Sorry. What would be normal for us to do?” Spencer asks, his head tilting as he looks at me.

I run a hand though my hair with a sigh. I think for a moment. I know what I need right now. “We could go to a totally normal college party?”

I look at him hopefully, but he’s already scowling. “I don’t know about that one, J.”

“C’mon, Spence. I’m 21. A party is the most normal thing I could do right now,” I tell him.

He sighs. He’s been defeated, and he knows it. “Fine. We can go to a party. And we can drink and dance, and whatever else you want to do.”

“Really?” My eyes light up.

“Mhm,” Spencer nods. “Under one condition.”

“Anything.”

“We’re not playing darts.”

A laugh takes ahold of me for a second. “Awh did I bruise your ego last time?”

“Lil bit,” he says with a grin, pinching his pointer finger and thumb together.

I roll my eyes and lean into him for a quick kiss. When I pull away, he’s still smiling. It makes me weak in a way I can’t explain.

“I’m sure you already know someone who’s throwing a party,” he says.

“It’s Saturday night. Of course I do.”

I hop up to my feet and slip my high tops back on. My outfit is already party acceptable: ripped baggy jeans, a cute top, and converse.

Spencer’s wearing too casual clothes (which I never expected to see him in in a million years), so I drag him into his room by his wrist.

I have him sit at the edge of the bed while I find clothes for him to wear.

“I’m not a Ken doll, Jade,” he says but I turn around and press my finger to his lips.

“Shh. You are one tonight.”

“That’s such a weird thing to say,” Spencer laughs softly.

I flash him a grin before finding a cream-colored sweater and dark jeans for him to wear. Usually, he’s in dress pants, but these jeans are almost black, so they’re still nice. Not too out of his comfort zone.

I turn around so he can change, not wanting to invade his privacy since we haven’t gotten to that part of our relationship yet.

When I turn to face him again, he’s pulling down the sweater. “Not too shabby, Dr. Reid. You look hot.”

A blush creeps up onto his cheeks. “Thank you. Can we go before I change my mind and beg you to let us stay?”

We head down to the parking lot, and I find the address for one of my friend’s friend’s parties. Instead of taking his car, we get an uber. I know he doesn’t plan to get wasted or anything, but he doesn’t want to drive even after just one or two drinks.

Spencer grabs my hand as we walk up to the front door. The host greets us and asks who I am. I tell him I’m friend with Preston, and that triggers his memory of me. It comes in handy knowing people.

Jade leads me into the house, and we immediately head for the kitchen to grab a drink. I need it if I’m going to be out with all of these strangers for most of the night.

“Try to have fun, okay?” She asks, shooting me a look.

I must’ve had the words “I already want to leave” written across my forehead. I hold up my hands in defense. “Yes ma’am.”

For the duration of the night, I feel like I’m her lap dog that’s following her around everywhere she goes. My entire college years, I didn’t go to parties, but now I’ve gone to two with Jade. I’m not good at them. I’m way too aware of my surroundings and how many people are sharing cups of beer, and with them so many germs.

She seems like she’s having fun, though, and I owe her that. I can’t even begin to imagine how things have been for her these past few months. Jade deserves something normal, and if this is her definition of normal, I’m glad to tag along.

Eventually, I find myself feeling slightly less awkward and out of place. The few drinks I’ve had are fueling me, and Jade notices me lighten up. She seems pleased.

“Having fun?” She asks, pulling me closer so we can hear each other better.

“I’m trying,” I say honestly, holding her hips.

Jade nods, laughing softly. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” I smile faintly, leaning my forehead onto hers.

We’re dancing right now, and I’m doing my best to ignore all the sounds and chaos around us. It’s just the two of us in my head.

I let her guide our movements in whatever way she wants. My heart is pounding from the dancing, alcohol, and loud music. I’m a little dizzy, but I don’t want to stop holding her. Being this close is the part I actually enjoy about these parties.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She laughs, practically yelling at me involuntarily.

“Because you’re beautiful,” I say honestly.

Jade blushes, her lips forming into a soft smile. “Shut up.”

Instead of arguing with her, I kiss her. She tastes like fruity alcohol and vodka shots. She’s had a lot more to drink than I have, but she’s not throwing up drunk, so that’s good. My hands hold her hips protectively, keeping her against me.

Her fingers play with the hair on the nape of my neck, causing a soft sound of delight to release from my mouth and into hers. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or her irresistibility, but I’m craving her right now. I want to touch her in ways I haven’t yet. In ways I’ve been refraining from doing for what feels like ages.

We kiss for a while, it’s sloppy and heated, but I don’t mind one bit. I love it.

Her lips draw away from mine, and a wine releases from my mouth. I look down at her. She looks just as hungry for me as I am for her. If that’s even possible.

Jade takes my hand. She’s headed for the stairs, pushing past the crowd of people. It takes my brain a moment to register what’s happening.

I stop in my tracks, shaking my head.

“Come on, Spence. Let’s go upstairs,” I whisper-yell, taking his hand and stumbling while I try to pull him up with me.

His entire demeanor has changed.

“Jade, you’re drunk,” he says, tugging on my arm, causing me to face him. I almost fall, so I steady myself with my hands on his shoulders.

“So are you.”

“One of us is clearly more sober. Let’s get you home,” Spencer suggests.

“No, my dad’s home. We should do it here.”

“We’re not…” His frustrated voice trails off.

I can feel the tears swelling in my eyes, and it burns. “Why won’t you fuck me?” The words spill out of me before I have time to think.

“Jade.”

The way he’s says my name… god, I need him to stop. He sounds sympathetic. Like I’m some charity case for him.

“I don’t understand what I’ve done, Spencer,” I tell him, my heart slamming against my chest.

“You haven’t done anything,” he says gently.

“Then what is it? What’s wrong with me?”

“Jade,” Spencer sighs. “Let’s just leave.”

“You leave,” I demand.

“What?” He blinks, looking down at me worriedly.

“I’m staying. If you want to leave, then go.”

His hand meets my elbow, gently trying to get me to leave with him. But I’m not so easily convinced.

“Just get away from me,” I yell, not meaning to be so harsh. I let out a breath. “Just go.”

The pained look on Spencer’s face makes it easier for the tears to spill from my eyes. He nods, then turns around and starts walking away from me.

I wipe my cheek free of tears and occupy myself with something other than watching him leave.

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid <3

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @jazzerbelle14 @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @lovejules888 @marimorena06 @daph-421 @idkusername8787