write on the moon

online diary of a well-dressed introvert

[writeonthemoon]

Work from home but make it cute.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

"No one will ever fully be able to understand the internal battles you had to endure just to heal, just to grow, just to make it here today. Be proud of the way you fought to save yourself. Be proud of the way you survived." - Bianca Sparacion

[writeonthemoon]

Question: has anyone tried meditation and HATED it? Because I downloaded some apps and did it for a few days, and while they helped calm me they also pissed me off. They were almost patronizing? Anyone else feel like this?

[writeonthemoon]

Going through a depressive episode on Valentine’s Day is not it.

[resiliencewithin]

You’re tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.

This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.

You’ll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where you’re like ‘dang, that shouldn’t hit so hard,’ will wallop you.

This will trick you into thinking you’re weak and can’t handle life. A loser.

Not so my friend.

It’s a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.

Something’s got to give.

But!

It’s not your self worth.

[writeonthemoon]

Secret (149).

My favourite part about my masters program is using it to analyze my thoughts and behaviours and learn what’s influenced me in my past and how. All so I can have more grace and understanding with myself. I can already tell the difference.

[writeonthemoon]

Funny story, Puppy showed me his theatre company’s version of The Book of Mormon a few months after we started dating. So much of it made me uncomfortable and it was never on my list of shows to see.

Last year the email of the show coming to Toronto hit my inbox and I screamed knowing he’d love to see it. We went on Saturday and had a fantastic time, and thankfully I was prepared for the dark humour. Lars Hafell played Elder Cunningham and he has my whole heart.

Next show is Aladdin!

[writeonthemoon]

I got my first grade school grade. 85% baby, that's how your girl does it!

[writeonthemoon]

Looks like I’m moving! I’ll be calling this little cozy room home for the next few years (if everything goes smoothly). It’s in a co-op and the roommate is lovely, she actually reminds me of a tumblr mutual (but I won’t say who). After a year I can apply to become a member of the co-op and fingers crossed, can move into my own apartment there in a couple years time. They have these loft apartments in an old button factory and I want one so badly.

Here are some of the pieces I’m gonna buy for the room. It’s gonna be this bohemian dreamy paradise, I am so excited for decorating!

[writeonthemoon]

Also my birthday! It was great! Chicago was a fantastic, sexy romp of a musical with a vivacious Roxy, a charismatic Billy Bishop, and a Mama who brought the house down. Mirvish does it like no other.

[writeonthemoon]

This is how I’m stationed every day since my job temporarily has me working from home and I’m now in grad school. It’s exhausting to be in the same space all the time, but I’m trying to manage by keeping a balanced schedule.

Little mini updates. Grad school and the counselling profession in general has me conscious of what I post online, so I’m making most of my social media private or posting less. Not sure what that means for tumblr.

Grad school is going well! It’s a lot but it’s amazing to be talking to people who care about mental health as much as I do. And I’m getting lots of engagement with people on my daily posts which feels amazing.

Puppy and I are both working from home right now which proves to be challenging, but it’s also great cause that means I can kiss and hug him on breaks.

I’m seeing an apartment on Sunday in a co-op and am so torn on whether or not it’s a good idea.

Also I’ve managed to lose some weight and am finally feeling comfortable in my body. It’s a well-earned feeling especially after how shitty I felt for two years with the gallstones.

Miss you all. I try to read everyone’s posts but sometimes I just need to not stare at the screen.

Over and out.

[writeonthemoon]

I’m sure I’ll take more photos but this is my first picture of me at 33. This is going to be an amazing year.

[writeonthemoon]

Guys...

Did you know that I'm a nerd and that my favourite thing to do now is homework for grad school?

[dragonsareawesome123]

"Dear Celie, we are more than just kings and queens. We are at the center of the universe."

The Color Purple (2023) dir. Blitz Bazawule

[writeonthemoon]

Seeing The Color Purple was a spiritual experience.

That is all.

[writeonthemoon]

2023: the year of resilience

I have so many conflicting feelings about this year. While there were moments of beauty, enjoyment, and laughter, there were a lot of situations that could have been handled better. And admitting that I had lowered my standards of how I conduct myself was hard. Admitting that people I trusted had let me down was hard. But here I am, still here, still breathing and beautiful and embracing life. So let's recap.

January

Spent New Year's Day in Turkey and visited Hierapolis 

Got my 7th tattoo in Turkey

Continued to have major problems with my stomach

Went to the emergency room after chronic pain for two days and was diagnosed with gallstones

Went back to the emergency room and got a cholecystectomy

February

Spent two weeks recovering from surgery and attempted to twist my hair

Held a Black History Month event where a handful of people showed up, but I'm proud of myself for holding it!

Went to two Black History Month events and learned I'm not too bad at free hand painting

March

Some friends came to visit and we went to axe throwing, turns out I'm not half fucking bad

Ate every and anything because I no longer had stomach pain

Also started going back to the gym since I no longer had stomach pain

Got a prescription for glasses because it turns out being able to see is kind of necessary

April

Went to my first Mirvish show which started the obsession that is leaving my wallet broke

Still couldn't see properly and dealt with a bunch of headaches (my body was so broken this year)

Went to a bra fitting and nearly puked when the shop lady told me my size, goodbye to buying cheap bras and hello to back pain for the rest of my life

May

Got invited to some really cool work events such as Celebrating Black Communities

Reconnected with my father's side of the family

Sold towels at a farmer's market and made over $600

June

Saw Rent at Stratford Theatre and cried because I had to

Took a personal day off work and went to Canada's Wonderland

Weather was gorgeous so I took lots of walks and started dressing up

Got accepted to grad school

July

Began to experiment with my hair more

Visited the picturesque town of Elora for Canada Day

Saw the amazing Hadestown and have been singing Chant every day ever since

August

Celebrated our two-year anniversary

Surprised Puppy with tickets to his favourite show, Spamalot, and laughed till my lungs hurt

Saw Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat and Kinky Boots

Saw a drop in my health and had to deal with a situation at work

September

Found the CUTEST cabin stay for Labour Day weekend and became obssesed

Helped run 21 ceremonies at work across two weeks for a new initiative that I helped with

Started to feel worn out from the craziness of the summer with relationship and work issues

October

Went back to the cute cabin place and took a magical walk through the forest

Watched Evita and am forever mad at Andrew Lloyd Webber because who ends a show like that?!?! The audacity!

Work...I can't say what happened, but let's just say it was serious enough that I could sue my employer for violating the Human Rights Code

Thankfully my therapist had returned from maternity leave because I was feeling so alone and at a loss of what to do, and did not have Puppy's support

Joined a Black mentorship program and got a mentor who works in the regional mental health field

November

Managed to plan a conference for work which happened in Alberta, all while the crazy work stuff was happening

Saw Little Shop of Horrors in Edmonton

Took some extra days off work to explore Alberta and had a great time, but things with Puppy were at an all time low and I was fully prepared to end things and move out of the apartment

Met a pig named George who is my favourite being on this planet

December

Went to an awesome Caribbean Christmas party with friends and danced too much and fell in love with people a million times over

Saw Fiddler on the Roof

Submitted my official complaint at work and took most of the month off on vacation

Got the last bit of funding secured for school

Began to become in touch with myself again and reclaiming who I am, shedding behaviours and mentalities that I put on for survival's sake, and committed to honouring myself for the rest of my life

Been setting myself up for grad school starting January 8 and buying myself a lot of things because LOOK AT MY FUCKING YEAR, I DESERVE THIS!

2024, hurry your ass up.

[writeonthemoon]

Second week of vacation and I found another job to apply to, oops.