f1 drivers and the lies they would tell on their tinder profiles
daniel ricciardo: he would post a really badly edited photo of him doing something adventurous like wrestling a crocodile or cliff jumping at the white cliffs of dover but he would insist it’s real. it’s a bit but it genuinely pisses people off
lando norris: he would definitely lie about his height. he would probably just say he’s 5′10″ but he is not
yuki tsunoda: he would also lie about his height but he’d do the opposite way. he’d say “i’m 4′11″ because apparently that matters”
alex albon: he would not lie this man is wholesome and you can trust him. however he would use pictures of his cats to draw you in
mick schumacher: he also would not lie but he has a bunch of pictures with dogs that are not his on his profile and that’s technically false advertising
george russell: he would say that he goes to university in oxford but he doesn’t mean the university of oxford, he means oxford brookes
lewis hamilton: he would talk about his love for cooking and offer to cook you whatever meal you want, but that’s a lie because he will only cook you food that is vegan
pierre gasly: he would post pictures in front of a car that is not his
esteban ocon: he would post pictures with a fish and tell you that he caught it but really it was already dead floating at the top of the lake
sebastian vettel: he would say he loves relaxing nights in and long walks on the beach but he doesn’t mean it. there is nothing relaxing about this man because everything is a competition and he must win.
nicholas latifi: he would say he won his high school’s superlative for “most likely to be a famous comedian” but he actually won “most likely to end up stranded on a deserted island”
max verstappen: max’s profile is exclusively group pictures. good luck figuring out which one is him
charles leclerc: charles’s profile understates his entire existence. his description says he “dabbles” in music but then one of his pictures is him playing a piano concerto at the royal albert hall with the queen in attendance
lance stroll: lance would say that he isn’t looking for anything serious but he would confess his love for you on the first date and then propose on the second
carlos sainz: carlos employs graphic designers to photoshop his head onto random men with 8 packs even though he actually has an 8 pack himself
zhou guanyu: his entire profile is him in designer streetwear, but he actually makes his friends take the pictures in the store dressing rooms
sergio perez: checo would lie and say he’s on there looking for a friend of his to make fun of them but he’s actually looking for a long term relationship and just trying to play it cool
kevin magnussen: every photo on kevin’s profile was taken during holidays in cities, expertly hiding the fact that he lives in a rural farmhouse 50km from the nearest neighbor because he hates people
valtteri bottas: you’d match with valtteri and chat for awhile and then he’d suddenly ghost you, only to come back 3 months later saying “sorry i was in the shower”
fernando alonso: his entire profile is gym mirror selfies but they were all taken on the same day, he just brought 5 different outfits with him
a/n: i got a request for lance fluff a while ago and it's been on my mind lately, please enjoy my brain rot <3
pairing: lance stroll x fem! reader
warnings: fluff!
first of all, he definitely has the best sweater collection so stealing some of those is priority number one it's freezing in canada pls send some
because they smell like him and not just his cologne
constantly making dumb little facial expressions and voices just to make you laugh (like the clip in his ig video where he says "they're moving, it's a start")
he just wants to be near you
like you'll be reading or doing something on your computer and he will sit/lay next to you doing something else
maybe some little glances and smiles? a head on a shoulder perhaps?
the type to always make sure you have everything you need but also treat you in everyday ways (flowers, ordering food/going out, little trips away to relax)
we know that man is rich but he doesn't want to show it off
he is absolutely the sleepiest boy and if you try to get up before him he'll just hold you tighter
when you do get time off, escaping to a cottage or something (alone or with some friends) and fully disconnecting from the world
hikes, biking (maybe not anymore), campfires
for some reason, i have the thought about just dancing in the living room while listening to music
dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
if you're going to events, he is not only with you all night but he is touching you all night to keep himself (and you) grounded
that man is anxious so he needs a little extra support at social events <3
he's not super into pda but hand-holding, little pecks, and an occasional longing gaze is perfect
because in private? that man is handsy
wrapping his hands around your waist while you're getting ready, touching your legs when you're both on the couch, having casual makeout sessions on the kitchen island, etc.
little ice skating dates!!
i cannot skate for shit but i'm living for this idea
the absolutely garbage hot chocolate at free skates, slowly gliding across the ice while everyone else just laps you, picking you up if when you fall
Esteban: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might.
Reporter: So, how does it feel to be the second driver next to the world's greatest driver?
Valtteri, used to these kind of questions: Well, it's very-
Lewis, cutting in: It's very honourable, you have no idea how lucky I am to be able to drive alongside Valtteri Bottas himself, he's an amazing driver, my idol, I strive to be like him
I was wondering do you minding drawing a picture of Kevin and his daughter, Laura ? Maybe the video of Laura patting his helmet. Thank you！Hope you have a nice day!
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