doing my master diss. about the secret history and bro…i think im reading too much for too many hours bc im starting to feel very psicologically altered
asking myself "why continue" & finding the answer is always, in some form, "i want to know what happens next", even if that want is tired or detached or outright morbid
Write Smarter, Not Harder: 5 Ways to Conquer Chaotic Writing
Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. ButterDocs, a 2023 NaNoWriMo sponsor, is an all-in-one writing app built for productivity, collaboration, and a more joyful writing experience. Today, the folks at ButterDocs share a few tips on organizing your writing to meet your goals:
NaNoWriMo is about to start, and you're champing at the bit to get to 50,000 words. But that's no easy feat! Because life doesn't stop when NaNoWriMo starts.
You're still going to have climb a mountain of chaos to reach your goal: Chaos like not being able to find your notes and outlines when you need them since they're scattered across multiple apps, or the constant lure of internet distractions.
And of course, once NaNoWriMo ends, the writing process continues. You'll need to get feedback, be able to actually easily take advantage of that feedback, and make revisions (especially if your ultimate goal isn't just a rough draft, but a polished novel).
Here are five tips from ButterDocs to beat the chaos and make your writing workflow less work and more flow.
1. Know what you're about to do.
We know you want to start maximizing your word count from Day One, but you'll thank yourself on Day Twenty if you lay the groundwork for yourself. Take some time to organize your research, develop your characters, lay out your major plot points, and consider your themes.
You don't need to buy and learn advanced plotting software. A digital whiteboard can be as intuitive as pinning index cards to a cork board.
2. Write in the best environment for you.
You're about to spend a lot of time writing. It's a good idea to get comfortable.
Think about what environment you write best in. Do you need the hubbub and energy of a busy coffee shop? Or the serenity of a cozy nook?
Once you find the right place, put the same effort into finding a writing app you'll actually enjoy writing in.
3. Stay in your writing flow.
Focus and dedication during NaNoWriMo is the whole ball game. Lose either, and your chances of hitting 50,000 words are harder.
Whatever your NaNoWriMo goals are, give yourself the best chances to succeed with tools that will help you get and stay focused. A timer, word counter, and goal tracker will help you with timed writing sprints and hitting daily writing goals.
4. Recover from distractions.
Distractions will happen. Chaotic writing aside, the human brain wants to wander for dopamine. And life inevitably gets in the way.
What's important is how you recover. Don't let one distraction or missed writing day snowball into another and another. Give yourself tools that help you get back on track. A simple notification to come back to your writing can be a big help.
5. Pull others in to help you move forward.
You may be participating in NaNoWriMo as an individual, but know this: you are not alone.
You have the entire NaNoWriMo community, among many other writing communities and groups you can turn to for any genre of writing.
When you feel stuck or need feedback on a draft, don't be afraid to ask for help. Just be sure to invite people into a writing app where you have control over the collaboration.
ButterDocs Early Access + NaNoWriMo Resources
Conquer chaotic writing by using a writing app built for exactly that. With ButterDocs, you can plan, write, share, and edit your writing all in one place, without the chaos. It's by the team that built Arc Studio, a leading screenwriting app with hundreds of thousands of users.
ButterDocs launches today in early access and we'd love to invite you to check it out for NaNoWriMo.
All NaNoWriMo participants can receive a free year of ButterDocs if you sign up by December 1st, 2023.
We're running a free online event on October 25th for everyone who signs up: "Getting (and Staying) in Your Creative Writing Zone During NaNoWriMo." with Grant Faulkner (Executive Director of NaNoWrimo), Matt Trinetti (founder of London Writers' Salon), and Allison Trowbridge (founder of CopperBooks). If you can't make it, we'll email ButterDocs users the recording afterward.
Visit https://butterdocs.com/NaNoWriMo to learn more about ButterDocs, claim your free account, and enter an exclusive sweepstakes giveaway for NaNoWriMo participants!
So. You want to write a story, a one-shot—whatever, you just want to write. Or, you’ve already decided that you ARE going to write, BUT… you’ve stumbled across a problem;
You can’t figure out where or how to begin crafting your characters, or outline. I’m sure that you and I both are well aware that the characters are the base of the soup that is your story, but what you may not be aware of that I happen to be—is that it’s not nearly as complex as an unfortunate encounter with a judgmental beta-reader has possibly made it out to be.
You know…those beta readers that give you paragraphs and paragraphs about how your characters were so bland and how you failed the mission blah blah blah—without ever telling you how you could improve that?
WELL…I’m here to break it down into digestible terminology, and once again start by saying…that it’s not that complex.
You see, characters, even though made-up individuals…are still entities. Imaginary, but still. Entities possess life, life emulates realistic nature. A realistic character is easy to create because realism is all around you. Yes, I could have said that in a much-less riddlelike manner…but I’m trying to sell this to you in the most engaging way possible—at least chuckle 🤣 but anyways, you can base a character off of a regular joe.
Because I need you to understand that a relatable character does not have to be this flawed individual that possesses 7 emotional tribulations. I will soon talk about how to successfully write a layered character that doesn’t mock mental health—but for now, I’m telling you that’s the last thing you want to try to start with. People tend to think ‘Oh, I’ve got an in-depth character now because I slapped in all these problems,’
What you’ve really done is give yourself a handful, and your readers can no longer form a realistic mental picture of the aspects of your character—because you’ve resorted to overloading them with empty and excessive detail. Picking eight tribulations and just dumping them into a character is not the way to start. Especially if it does nothing for your story’s outline and plot.
*DRAMATIC RECORD HALTING SCREECH* B U T W A I T!
A bit unprofessional for me to just go off trail like this…but have you made a story outline?! You can’t start creating a character outline without one of those! Oh you don’t know where to start on an outline, that’s fine—I’ve MADE A TEMPLATE!
What is the setting of this story, and how does it correspond to the storyline?
If it's set in the United Kingdom, why? Does the fact it's set there play a huge supporting role for the plot or characters? Does it hold any significance? Will it be helpful to any upcoming scenes in the long run? If so, which scenes and why? What are the significance of those scenes, and why? Will they mold your character? How?
^Here's your first template to fill out…Fill in the blanks accordingly as you go along.
What is your plan to hook and captivate the reader?
Do you want to start dramatically? Start with the ending and build your way up? Start with a beautiful metaphor that proves itself impactful at the end of the story? Start with a hidden hint that re-appears all through the story until it's answered in the end?
What is your plan for scene-setting and mood development?
Do you need to research? If so, what? Did you research already? What facts did you choose in particular, are they essential for the beginning, middle, or end of your story? If so, how do you plan to cleverly showcase that without just looking like you're fact-dropping? Will your character display this knowledge through their personality some kind of way? If so, how—and why?
Why should a reader care about your characters?
Do you plan to make them memorable? If so, how? What are all of their individual backstories? Do their backstories somehow interconnect? Are they essential to the plot, or plot reveal? If so, how do you plan to make it all tie together?
How do you plan to overall execute the entire plot?
Have you established your main character's climactic scenes within their relationships or conversations? If so, do they seamlessly blend with all of the planning you've done above? If not, how do you plan to do that? Does each character have something unique about them, and does it tie into the personality you've developed? If you haven’t developed a personality for them yet…after you finish this whole template, it will probably come easier.
HAVE MERCY….there's your guide for part one of outlining. Yeah…part one. This is only the battle, the war has yet to begin.
The war? You tying all this together in your google docs teeheehee, have fun. And then the TOURNAMENT is executing it into a story.
WE WILL revisit the topic I derailed from—which was crafting a realistic character. I feel like I said the bulk of it in a simple form that you’ll do with as you please, but I don’t mind going in deeper template-depth on that if you want…
Writers are often told that their work is only valuable if it sells, yet our ancestors were telling stories around the fire long, long before capitalism was invented. Never forget that making art is not merely a business: it's part of human nature.
Writing can be much like a marriage, absurd as it sounds. When you truly love something, in this case your idea, you stay devoted to it, and not a single soul can convince you to abandon it.
If you aren't devoted to it, you'll get bored quickly, and most likely will cheat.
In this case, you're cheating on your first idea for the second one, and you'll eventually have an affair with the third one.
THIS CAN EASILY be avoided, but it takes your cooperation and self-control. Writing takes time, it's not an easy process, nor is the preparation.
If you blindly just come up with a story idea and act on it without honestly asking yourself if it's what you'd want to do, you'll lose focus. That's why taking plot suggestions can be a bit rocky, because if you're writing to accommodate someone's suggestion, chances are, you aren't really feeling that idea.
You could be, but let's pretend you aren't, cut me some slack hahaha.
I also want to say that it's important to remember that your ideas are your ideas, they live in your head, and won't go anywhere. Unless you kick them out, ha.
Take notes of them when you need to, but they aren't going to run away, so fight the urge to start a new story every other day as if they are.
Writing is stressful enough when it comes to one story...so I wouldn't advise setting yourself up for probable failure by overloading yourself. Start a reward system. Once you finish one project, reward yourself by starting the next.
So all in all, step one to focusing, is establishing a solid idea that you TRULY want to carry out. Let's talk about how we can carry on from there.
"A tired horse can't race.", is a classic.
If you aren't in the mindset to write, you aren't in the mindset to focus, and you won't get anything done. It's important to set writing timewindows. There's a time to write, there's a time not to. Like I said before, your ideas aren't going to run away. Taking your time with not only your work, but yourself, is not illegal.
If you're tired, you don't feel like writing, you're only trying to write something to fill an empty void because you feel as if you can't survive without it, or maybe you're only trying to stubbornly prove to yourself that you can perfect a story in as little as a few weeks... because you're trying to live up to your unhealthy self-set goals, you aren't in a writing mindset.
And that's alright. Just be aware, and ready to acknowledge that. Giveeeee yourself those in-between breaks.
When you write in with that mindset, chances are you won't like the results, and you'll start this never-ending cycle of story attempt after story attempt.
As a writer, I know what it's like to question my worth. You know, "well are you really that good, you can't even finish five chapters".
Stop those thoughts before they start, by simply remembering that once again...your ideas will not run away, breaks are not illegal, you aren't less of a writer just because you don't feel like writing every waking hour of the day, and you should dictate what you write. You don't have to jump on the trend train.
I hope this has been helpful to your troubles if you're having them. If not, maybe you'll remember this in advance and will escape this cycle. Either way, I hope it helps someone.
Writing should be fun. Let go of the doubts, let go of your inner critic and just enjoy the process. Write whatever comes to your mind. You can always edit it later. You can always improve it later.
I think heartbreak can be in different ways other than your romantic partner breaking your heart.
Heartbreak is also leaving your first rental house in the innercity. Heartbreak is also separating and going on different jounerys from your roommate, knowing that you will never mix your lanudry and wear mismatched socks with her again.
Heartbreak is pouring a glass of wine alone in an empty kitchen not full of memories, and hearing her in your head say “want a tickle?”
I heard Ethan Hawke talk about his interpretation of Hamlet, and something he said is that at heart, Hamlet is just a kid who wants to make his dad proud. He said that in the scene where his father's ghost appears, Hamlet is more surprised that his father chose him to appear to than that his father's ghost is there at all. He said that the way he sees it, Hamlet's father never had time for him in life, and that when Hamlet's dad gives him this task, it's Hamlet's last chance to make his father proud of him, and that's why he tries so, so very hard to do right by his father's memory.
And I LOVE that interpretation. It adds SO much to Hamlet's character. It's crazy to think that Hamlet is used to being ignored and left to his own devices by his family, so even from the very start when Gertrude and Claudio take an interest in him in the beginning of the play, he's surprised that they even noticed he was sulking.
Hamlet's parents don't know him. They never bothered to know him until they needed him. His misery puzzles and annoys Gertrude. She doesn't understand why he can't just be happy, and normal, but at the same time, she only makes time for him when she needs something from him, or when his actions threaten her own happiness.
And this adds crazy layers to Hamlet's relationship with Ophelia and Polonius. I think someone could easily argue that the fundamental difference between Hamlet and Leartes is a loving father; Hamlet sees the way Polonius cares for his children, and is offended by the false way Polonius tries to be kind to him. He wants that kind of father, but he knows he can't have it.
Hamlet sees right through everyone's ulterior motivations in the play because he's used to them ignoring him and he doesn't trust the sudden rush of attention towards him. He isn't surprised that people are lying to him; he knows they wouldn't be this concerned about him without an ulterior motive.
The only person he does truly trust is Horatio, who has always been his friend and confidant. Horatio is probably the only person in the play who doesn't change after Hamlet's father dies.
So basically, I think if you view Hamlet as a young man only barely entering adulthood, who spent his entire childhood feeling like he was letting his father down and only wanting to win his affection, it's a different, better play. Hamlet isn't a good person or a bad person, he's a kid at a crossroads, and he feels like the only way he can prove himself as a man and give his life meaning is by making his dad proud of him. When his father died, Hamlet likely thought he had lost the chance to ever bond with his dad, but now, he's gotten one last chance. So of COURSE he clings to it. Of course he descends into a terrified, paranoid spiral of wrongdoings and mistakes. He wants his dad back, and he wants his dad to love him. He got a task, and he's damn well going to do it, even if it kills him.
And the real tragedy in it all is that he fails. Hamlet's father begs Hamlet to remember him, and with Hamlet's death (and those of everyone around him) the memory of his father is lost, beyond the trivial knowledge that he existed. At the end of the play, there is no one left to remember who Hamlet senior truly was. In this way, Hamlet fails to carry out his father's last wishes, and dies knowing that everyone was right about him, he couldn't prove himself, he couldn't make his dad proud.
However, left behind is Horatio, the only person who ever cared about Hamlet beyond the scope of his father, and his depression, and his desperation for revenge. And in this way, Hamlet is remembered properly, even if his father is not.
I've gotten a copy of "The Picture of Dorian Grey" (finally!) from my local library, and it has annotations as well. In one of the annotations, it said that the cigarette became one of the symbols of gay culture in Oscar Wilde's time, hence why he had mentioned it in the book, and why dark academia is associated with people smoking and reading queer literature (please don't smoke though, tobacco is bad for your lungs).
"Stories you read when you're the right age never quite leave you. You may forget who wrote them or what the story was called. Sometimes you'll forget precisely what happened, but if a story touches you it will stay with you, haunting the places in your mind that you rarely ever visit."
i am nothing without my love of literature. my desire to write and feel and create while learning and reading and analysing. i am nothing if i can’t read books that remind me of myself, i am nothing without the comfort of feeling understood, i am nothing without loving the people i see myself in when i can’t love myself.
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